Natalia, are you able to learn from the experience of others?

I was in a position like yours many years ago. A few details were different, but let's just say I was with one person and this other person was totally attractive. And, I went with that. The result is what you might expect--ruined relationships in all quarters. A very, very big mistake and NOT ONE YOU CAN UNDO.

If you think you can't control yourself, then stay away from him for the next two weeks. You may have regrets later, but they won't be the worst regrets you could have had.

Jay

I don't think my dh would be into that. He's very "old-fashioned" in that dept. It took a lot of coaxing to even get some BDSM going! lol:)

Plus, since I've been acting a tad different lately, it might strike him as unusual I'm asking for an open relationship at this point ..

I'm sure I would probably freak out the poor kid anyway, lol

Good point,
re- the regrets.

Were you only with the good looking guy once?
Is it a better idea to remain faithful in a relationship with someone who is more like your brother than a sexual partner you lust after?
The living together , and parenting part is great. But something is lacking. The sexual chemistry seems to have vanished..and I just thought a tiny event with guy 2 might be just what the doctor ordered.

and I know it's splitting hairs and irrelevant amongst women, lol But I wasn't planning to go "all the way" with guy 2. Only service him. But, I know that is still cheating.

Was just throwing it up there as an option. I think it is possible to love someone very much, but just not be sexually attracted to them..

It would take two VERY openminded people to have a successful open relationship though..The jealousy issues would be a big thing...

Maybe you and the hubby can take some sex counseling classes? I know they have those somewhere out there...


But trust me, from experience - cheating never turns out good. I am still with the man I cheated on but I cant look at myself the same way. My self-worth has decreased and the feeling of shame and disgust haunts me everyday...

PurdueGal- does dh know?
was it a one time thing?

I know how you feel. I also have a non existant sex life with my spouse. I also have fantasies but leave it at that. My first husband cheated on me and I remember the pain too much to be the cheater. Beside I think fantasy has a way of being much better than the real thing turns out to be.
You risk a lot if you decide to cheat. But good luck in whatever you decide.

yes he knows. I told him the next morning! Yeah, it was a one time thing.
I felt better when I told him, but the horrible feelings never go away. And I know it's haunting him everyday too. He will get sad about it a lot. I'll ask him what's wrong and he'll just say, "Nothing," but I know that he's sad about the cheating.
Our relationship will never be the same.
I really advise you to NOT take action!!! It's not worth all the pain on yourself and your loved one.

You said he was half your age, your 30 that would make him 15 isn't that against the law!!

If you are looking to get out of your marriage, then the correct way to do that is by first talking with your husband about the issues, then seeing if counseling can help, and if not, ending the marriage. A "tiny event" with another man is first of all, NOT TINY, and second of all, NOT WHAT ANY DOCTOR WOULD ORDER. You will have little credibility in your marriage after that. I don't care what form your "servicing" would take.

If it's not something you can tell your husband about, then don't do it. Also, you may think you can get by with just never telling your husband, but that will not work in the long run.

What would your reaction be if you found out your husband had acted on an attraction like this? "Honey, I had this tiny event... you don't mind, do you?" :dizzy:

It is better to stay faithful to your vows until such time as the two of you mutually decide to end them. That's just my humble opinion.

Jay

you guys are right, I know.
Today was a bit better, I just kept thinking about how nasty he was ...and it's kind of hard to explain but I finally had "opportunity" and didn't act on it at all. (I didn't know I was going to be faced with that today..)

As for underage, I don't know his exact age but I know he's in grade 12.
The age of consent here is 14. So I know he is over that..but still very young compared to me! Its just weird becasue I feel like it was just yesterday I was in HS myself...

Maybe I'm weird but I'd consider "servicing" worse because that seems like something to do for the **** of it rather than for your own sexual pleasure.

A lot of relationships have people who report sexual interest waning. You can either try to spice up the relationship or even seek outside counseling to help. It could help you get that spark back.

My personal belief is to always remain faithful. If you can't do that then you shouldn't be in that relationship at all.

ok sorry to be blunt but GROSS!!!!!!!!! i know he may be attractive and he may be of legal consent age in your state...but come on now. he's a freaking minor. Knock some sense into yourself, please. He could be your kid if you had kids at an early age.
I think you should go to counseling both you and DH. I think a relationship should have both love and sharing but occasional sex, otherwise ppl start wandering or thinking. You both need to find to make yor marriage work. If if can't then maybe think about should you be married? Definately get some counseling...it sounds like you both need it.

ok i thought he was over 18.... stay away from them under 18...

open marriage can work. trust me.
as can age gaps. my husband when i was 30 was 19.... (not that i knew him then)

I believe age gaps can work, but it depends on when the relationship starts. IMO, there is a HUGE different between dating when you are, say 30 and 40 versus dating when you are 25 and 15--same age difference, but LOTS of maturity and experience difference!

In any case, I agree with nelie--if you can't (or even don't want to) remain faithful, then you likely either require counseling or an ending of your current relationship.