[spartanMOM]

Hi everyone!

I am looking for children's books (pre-school aged) that discuss the topic of having an absent father. I have found several books for Single Parenting and how to talk to you child about it, but I have seen very few books geared towards the child about not having an active father.

I was told there was a book called, "Do I have a Dad?," but I can't seem to find it listed anywhere or in the bookstores.

Does anyone know of any books or short story movies for young children that are based on this topic?

Although I plan to talk to my daughter about this, I feel having support resources for her to turn to are also very important.

She is still very young, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared, right?

Any advice or knowledge would be appreciated!

Thanks,
Michelle

[Tippy]

As a mother of a young woman who was in a similar situation I can understand your concerns. From what I have been able to ascertain in the past,your child seems to be happy and secure.
If and when the time comes that she wonders about her biological father, you will know in your heart how to talk to her about him. It can be as simple as saying he just didn't want to be a father yet, BUT he isn't a bad person.

In ten years, you never know what life can bring. My granddaughter met her biological father last summer. I don't think she cared one way or another as she knows that she is loved by her family.

I think that you've given your child a lot of love and security and, in the end, that's what counts.

Merry Christmas!

[L144S]

This is a little off your topic spart, but today I caught my SIL leaving the 2 kids in the unlocked car running while she went in to a store. ( she left her pocket book on the front seat to boot).

My 8 year old was with me when I chewed her out and told her what a stupid unsafe thing she had done and was lucky it was me and not a cop comming out of the coffee shop next door.

My 8 year old was very upset about it and I explained that is my job to keep him safe, and I would never put him in a situation where ther was the chance of something bad happening to him.

I do have a point. Our job as parents is to love our kids and keep them safe. Your daughter is young and I think that a book for you on how to handel the questions might be a better choice. You could ask the phycologist at your school what might be good to say, or other parents in simmilar situations, but the bottom line is that you need to do what is best for you and her at the time.

Tippy is right, when the time is right you will know in your heart what to say, and even though the father did not stay around she is loved and well taken care of and has a mother that loves her enough to want to have her and to answer her questions.

Be well,
-L

[spartanMOM]

Thanks L, but I already have about five or six books on the topic for myself. That is why I am specifically looking for child oriented ones. But two books that I would strongly recommend are, "Sing your own song; A guide for single moms" by Cynthia Orange and "Successful single parenting" by Gary Richmond. Both of them are extreemly helpful and informative.

Of course just buying a book doesn't solve all the questions or even some of the questions a child may have, I know that. But often children with only one parent feel like they are the only ones who are in that situation... sometimes other resources (such as books, videos, other friends) that demonstrate that there are others in their situation can be comforting. In ex., I come to 3FC because other people can relate to my situation (being overweight) so I don't feel alone. It doesn't solve my weight problem, but it does offer me lots of tools to deal with the problem.

Like I said, shes still very young and I don't anticipate this being a big topic sometime soon, but I really feel it's best to be prepared. I can already see her giving very confused looks when fathers pick up their children at daycare.

I think both of you are right; as long as a child is safe and loved, things usually work out. No one is ever done learning... and I'm just trying to do the best that I can by gathering lots of information and perspectives.

Any other moms/dads have advice/tips/reccomendations that they want to share?

Thanks,
Michelle