Nineteen ~ A belated welcome to you. Looks like you've already made quite a bit of progress. I'm not in the 'dieting with obstacles' group, but now I'm curious... Thoughts so far?

Hoopty ~ I feel the same with the "on day/off day" tracking. I'd love to see it all laide out in frotn of me in the form of smiley faces. ;) And yes, 1200 does seem pretty low. Out of curiosity, how do you define a "good" day? Would it be just eating at a deficit, or do you use other metrics?

batmomm ~ Belated WELCOME to you, too. And boy, can I ever relate to that "Obstacle"... I definitely have the same one.

novangel ~ Yrgh to the water bed stomach. My whole body feels like a waterbed and I didn't even eat that much sodium... ugh.

oleh ~ By can I ever relate... It's like one indulgence just opens the door for a whole host of other indulgences. I hear ya on the stretch of time without food events. Locking arms to July 4?

Leaves ~ Hurrah for weekly swims! I hear ya on not wanting to order a salad when you go out... Then again, maybe you can get some good ideas for new ways to make your salad? Dunno. I'm reaching for straws here...


~~~
Urgh. My old nemesis, the bagel for breakfast, has returned. It's my own sweet fault, really. Now the challenge is to not throw the rest of the day away...

Weather is gross and rainy, although perversely, when I can get it together, I sometimes like running in the rain. Makes me feel all hard core and melancholy.

I have crazy rehearsals every.single.evening this week, and a concert on Saturday. I knew it was coming, but I kept trying not to think about it, because there's really no way to make it easier. Yargh. Just kind of hold on 'till the finish line.

Have a great week, Feather Friends!

well i took a hiatus because of university finals.... I didn't get on the scale for like three weeks.... and I still lost a lb! Haha, I was basically scared I would gain. But I worked out, ate ok, and basically maintained my loss! I guess I really have made a life change! Phew. But I'm back and ready to do another round of really losing the pounds! wew! summer! :)

Alexis : Glad to see you back here, woman! But not so glad to see you so tired :( I hope you'll be able to get some time for yourself this week to relax a bit.

nineteen : I'm not in the dieting with obstacles group neither. What obstacles are you facing?

Hoopty : The boyfriend ate up the last cupcake!! VICTORYYYY! Woah, 1200 calories a day is low... Especially since you are not small (like, 1200 for a 5'0'' woman, maybe) but for someone who is 5'5''? I would at least bump that to 1300-1400.

batmomm : My boyfriend is into crossfit a bit and when I told him you were doing a Musher, he went all OMG. You seriously rock, just reading your working got me tired ;)

novangel : hot dog/burger/Italian beef/ribs/beer chain? Jesus. Best place on Earth!?

Olehcat : It is weird how holiday weekend just seem to go overboard so much more easily than regular weekend, isn't it!? I always wonder why. It is hard to stop associating holiday with food.

Leaves : I did not look good at all after the race, the mud was actually hiding my multiples bruises and scratches ;) Good luck handling going out for lunch!

***

Hi! The weight was still holding to 134 this morning, but my stomach is still bloated.. I guess I'm still retaining water from the salt and everything. I did good with the food, I actually still have some calories left to snack on on my daily food log + calories from my workout.

I did a good 8 km run this morning with 6 x 3' sprint interval. It really kicked my butt and I wanted to give up after the first 2 sprints but I pushed through it and I felt good afterward.

I am skipping the weight lifting workout for this week, as I am still sore from the Sunday race. I want to let the muscles to get a rest a bit, as I am entering my last month of training for my half at the end of June. A little break might do good to my poor legs ;)

hi all - too lazy to do personals, but can just about drum up the effort to write a quick update! Had a moderate week food-wise and have been out to quite a few events, but have stayed steady on the scales (well, i put on 0.3kg, but that's 'steady' isn't it?!). Hoping to finish it off with two properly good days and get back down to where i finished last week.

Went for my lunchtime run again today and it felt terrible. I kept wanting to stop, and it felt sooooo slow. At the end i was thinking to myself that the only thing i would get out of the run was that at least i didn't stop. Anyway, when i got to the end and looked at my stopwatch it was 40 seconds faster than i've done it before! Couldn't believe it. I must have gone out faster because i certainly came back very sluggishly! Amazing how you can change your thinking based on stats - if i hadn't had the stopwatch running i would still be thinking that i'd done really badly!

Om ~ Well done, you! Just maintaining through any exam period is a victory, but you managed to lose. Nice work!

Turboooooo ~ Hallooooo there! You are not doing too badly AT ALL for holding onto water. Sheesh woman. And you have CERTAINLY earned a break from training. Sounds like the rest will do you good. Any news on the TOM front?

ange82much ~ Crazy about your time being faster than you thought, eh? Just goes to show you: don't give up b.c you might just be doing better than you think.

~~~~
Rehearsal last night was scores better than expected. I'm actually getting paid for this gig, so that's a plus, and feel much more confident with my performance in general. Still not as good as I know it could be, but not doing that badly at all.

Food has been all over the map again, but trying to just be "moderate" whatever that means. Keeping the cut off helps fence in the crazy a bit, too.

Happy Wednesday, Feathers!!!

Alive if only just barely. Music festival was INCREDIBLE. I pretty much spent the entire time dancing, occasionally remembering to eat. My appetite is coming back with a MIGHTY VENGEANCE - had Chinese takeout and Pizza Hut breadsticks last night. WI 121.8 this morning.

Hello girls,

I don't even know where to begin. DH and I are in a serious situation. We're getting kicked out of the apartment on the 31st (DH's Dad lives here, it's his place, he's on the lease). We have no place to go other than back to Germany. We don't have any friends or family here where we could stay, we also don't have enough money to rent out our own place. There is something that I have to pay off here and if we leave in 3 days I might not be able to come back to the US for a long, long (and I'm talking YEARS) time.
We found out yesterday evening. We were just about to go to the gym until DH's Dad told us. I didn't know how to feel, still don't. You know when you're free-falling and you have that ticklish feeling in your belly? That's how it is for me. It's horrible. I wanna cry but I feel like I can't. Maybe I didn't realize it all yet? I was doing great food-wise. I was at 1000 calories at dinner and did 70Min of Cardio. And then when we found out...I didn't know what was going on and I didn't know how to feel so I resorted to food. I had a whole pint of Häagen-Dasz dark chocolate Gelato, a whole Entenmann's Marble loaf cake and a king size Milky Way bar. Yes. We walked to the store at 11:30pm at night and I bought all that stuff. My stomach was killing me this morning. I fell asleep at 6 AM after spending all night looking for cheap tickets and woke up 4 hours later. For some reason I don't feel horrible about the food I had. How could I, if I don't feel anything at all anyways? Gah, gah, gah, gaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

batmomm - Your workout sounds great! 200 push-ups - forget it. I would never be able to do that :D

novangel - I definitely agree with you! My target is 1400 a day. I'm gonna stick to that and see how my body will react to it.

olehcat - Thank you :hug: Oh yeah, is it even possible to stay on track when you're stressed and busy? Gah :( Münster is actually close to my home! :) Now that the holidays are over I hope you're able to go back on track!

Leaves - 1350 sounds good! I'm gonna find out how my body reacts to 1400 calories day and I'll make changes if needed. Honestly, when DH and I go out to eat I always feel like I should order the foods that I can't make at home (or that take too long or that are too expensive). I would NEVER order a salad at a restaurant. I feel like it's a waste of money :/ Going out is always a special thing to me so I order what I'm in the mood for. I totally hear you on that.

Alexistrophic - LMFAO! I cracked up at the feeling hard core and melancholy part, bahaha, so true! Doesn't the weather suck over here? We're pretty close to each other (well, we're east coast gangsters), lol! A good day, or on plan day for me means that I stayed under my target calories even if that means that I had chocolate. Hope you find some moments where you can sit back and relax a little :hug:

om namah shivaya - Congrats on losing a pound! :) What a relief that must have been!

TurboMammoth - Lol, good boy! :D And yeah, 1400 it is! I can't do 1200, waaay too low. I can only imagine how sore you must be. Go get a massage!

ange82much - Congrats, that's awesome! Thank God for the stopwatch, lol! I'd definitely consider 0.3kg "steady".

krampus - Happy to hear you had a good time! :) Pizza Hut breadsticks? Sounds friggin delish, never had it! (Do I want to? Probably not! :D )

Thanks everyone for the welcome! I think my issue may be more with my tone than my weight. I was lifting before my health issues and have restarted lifting so perhaps it's just a matter of time for my body to have that "in shape" look.

Had a great run today and stayed on plan as far as food!

I realized something really er...embarrassing. I have an addiction to Asian takeout food. I mean, seriously. And it's WAY too darned easy to order it on line and have it arrive at my house in less than an hour! D: And I realized that I have ordered either Thai or CHinese food WAY more times than is healthy or normal (for me, who usually maybe orders it a few times a year). I think I've ordered it at least five times in the last two weeks! D: So some of what I order is relatively healthy, like green curry or hot and sour soup. But some of it most definitely is NOT. And anyway, Asian takeout places tend to use stuff like MSG and other unhealthy, fattening ingredients and so much is deep fried. Anyway, I realized yesterday that it was like an addiction. I'd start hearing the siren call and temptation and then I'd look at the menus a few times, shut down the window so that I wouldn't order, wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it, it would eat at my brain, then I would go ahead and order it, promising myself to REALLY be on plan starting the next day. Such a feeling of giddiness and anticipation as I waited for the food! So I realized I have a problem, so no more for quite awhile. For real.

@Alex - stay strong! Ah, those freaking bagels! If I kept those around, they would be a problem, but I won't buy them, lol! What I really crave is a soft honey and butter toast! *drools* Too bad I don't keep bread at home!

@om-namah - go you for losing weight during that time!

@Turbo - Actually you might consider taking a few days off running, too. After a big race, it is good to give it almost a whole week to recover! You won't lose fitness, and it will give your muscles time to recover!

@ange - that is so funny how that works - when you think you're not doing great and your time actually surprises you!

@krampus - wow, congrats! I know I can never forget to eat, no matter how good a time I'm having, alas! :D Sounds like a great time!

@Hoopty - I'm so sorry. :((( That sounds wretched. Was it DH's father that kicked you guys out? I think the best thing for you to do right now is not to count calories but try to eat foods that are nourishing and healthy for you and will make you feel good (not emotionally good although nothing wrong with a little chocolate therapy but physically good and strong). Just worry about taking care of yourself during this time.

@Leaves - ah, I know what you mean about ordering salads. It's probably better just to order what looks best to you on the menu and then put a huge portion of it into a takeaway box so that you eat just a small amount of it. That way you're not eating too many extra calories, but still getting an enjoyable meal.

Hey ya'll. Nothing too much new to report with me. Been biking my a$$ off what with the flawless weather we've been having. I'm lucky to live in a city with miles of bike trails and nature hiking areas. Other than that? My sister came back from Europe a few weeks ago. We've been hanging out. We're going to a classic car show this Saturday. Might go out of town this weekend and go night clubbing with my bestie. Haven't decided yet. Either way, things are going well. Ragnar Relay is coming up in eight days! My weight keeps bouncing between 109 and 111 lately. Lol. :carrot:

ange : Good job on pushing through your run even if it felt terrible!!! And wow, 40 seconds faster, you were probably not that sluggish after all ;-) I always feel so good after a bad run ; yes, I want to die while doing it, but the feeling you get when you stick through it and when you're done is awesome.

Alexis : Nop, no news on the TOM front, despite the increase calories I'm now eating. I'm not expecting my body to come back super quickly to normal though... oh well. We'll see. Cool for you that are you being paid for the gig! That is a good motivation to go through your crazy week!

krampus : Your festival seemed to be a BLAST! And refeed that body, girl!

Hoopty : Argh, you seem to be stuck in a sh*tty situation :( Don't put too much stress on you with food, you have enough to go through right now!!(espcially on that crazy 1200 calories diet... god, that is low lol)

bunnabear : Stopping lifting probably played a lot of your body. I bet you'll be back where you were in no time!

olehcat : Well, addiction to chinese take out food isn't so embarassing (in my book, as long as you don't figure in the TLC my weird addiction thingy, you're fine :P). But it probably does play a lot in the diet thing though. Concerning taking a few days of break of running, actually, I would, but my first half-marathon of the summer is coming quickly, and I am a bit scared to go off my program. I think I have about 2 weeks of real training left and then it is tapering. I'll try to push through it :)

Aidanqm : I checked out the Ragnar Relay and it looks SO COOL!!!! I wish I had tons of running friend to do something like that! I have one of my best friend who is kinda intense too about running, but we could never find 10 other people LOL

***

Back down in the 133's since yesterday. Nothing much to report... Food is good. I went out for a 5k this morning and I sweat like A PIG, I think I'll have to start waking up earlier to run while it is still cool outside (NOOOOOOO!). Since we are moving in a few weeks, I started packing things and JESUS CHRIST we have way too many books/dvd/cd. I swear, when those 3 things will be done, half the work will be behind us :P

TOM is due in a few days. My appetite is huge today so I carbed out and I'm completely bloated from water weight. This feeling pisses me off. I've been lazy with the gym and overall disappointed with myself since the holiday weekend. If I don't get my @ss back in gear soon I fear I may have a gain. I worked too hard for this.

turbo, great job on the 5k. :carrot:

Ole, I have a serious addiction to Mexican food so I feel ya.

Hoopty, I'm sorry about your living situation. Hopefully everything works out back in Germany for the best. You never know. :hugs:

I haven't dropped off the face of the earth just super busy at work. Finally hit a new PR today deadlifting by 15#. I thought I had 200# but there was some math error and it was only 180#. So I was pissed, loaded the bar back up and with the help of my awesome coach hit 190#.

Will be more chatty tomorrow hopefully.

Hoopty so sorry for your situation but you had thought about going back to Germany so maybe there can be a light at the end of this crap. I know how sucky it is to have things so abrupt without feeling like you got to decide. Hang in there :(

Hello feathers,

Thanks so much for the encouraging words! :) One big :hug: for all of you! I'm trying to hang in there and I was able to resist junk food today. Well, "resist" might be the wrong word. I didn't have any cravings. My total calorie intake was about 650, no exercise again, and I know - way too low but that's all I could do.
I stayed up all night until 7 AM and barely slept. I found a couple of cheap tickets for about 405€ or 453$ each from JFK to Frankfurt or from Newark to Hanover. I didn't tell my parents yet and I'm not going to until I book those flights. Which is not gonna happen until tomorrow or the day after because of the following:

There was a bang on the door this morning and I knew right away it was the landlord (he's a total nut job-freak). He left a letter with the official eviction notice from the court. To our surprise we don't have to be out by May 31st but by June 7th at 8pm. What a relief. At least now we have a week to plan things out and get stuff done.
DH and his Dad looked at an apartment right around the corner from here. It's 950$ a month for a 1 bedroom, nice place, but then again - we don't have the money to pay even half for it. Something you should probably know is that our relationship with his Dad (well, the whole family) is not so great, at all. They're a bunch of ***. He had offered us to stay with him for a while, which turned out to be a year, but what shitty year that was!
Anyways, DH really wants to stay here and pay off my Adjustment of Status for my Green Card because I'd face a 3-year ban if I just leave the country. Which I totally understand why he wants to do that. On the other hand (and I mentioned this before) I really wanna go back home because things would be so much easier and I could finally go to school and get a degree and DH could learn German and go to school over there as well. DH would just rather wait until after the AOS is done and over with.
So tomorrow, DH and his Dad have an appointment with that guy who owns the other apartment and then we'll see if we're staying or leaving.
By the way - it's the landlord that is kicking the Dad out. He is the most irresponsible person I've ever met, never paid rent on time, has gotten several "threats" that he would get kicked out, and now it's finally happening, so no surprise there. We're not on the lease, but of course we gotta go as well.

Today I had healthy food, slept for a while in the afternoon and boy, why does it have to be so friggin hot?! I swear, I hate the summer!

Anyways.....what a long post that was, lol.

bunnabear - With the right food and exercise you should get the body you want in no time! :)

olehcat - I hear you on the Asian takeout addiction! I got the same thing with chocolate and donuts, no joke, and it's not fun. Sending you a lot of willpower to resist that disgusting, stupid, unhealthy food!

Aidanqm - Hello :wave: Sounds like you're doing well for yourself. How long was your sister in Europe for?

TurboMammoth - Lol! Waking up early to run is such a nice thing, isn't it :D Especially when it's nice and cold ouside and the early morning spiderwebs hit your face like soft silk, mmmhhhhhh! Where are you guys moving?

novangel - :kickbutt: PMS is a horrible, horrible thing. Who invented that stuff? I'll have the willpower-fairy stop by your place today and sprinkle some serious commitment-dust on you. You can do it! :hug:

batmomm - You rock! Congrats on your PR! :) How many times a week do you go to the gym?


Again - big hug for you all! :hug: I hope I'll have some good news tomorrow.

alexis- that's a lot of rehearsals! What are you playing? I love that post concert feeling- so uplifting :D

om- congrats! Hope your exams and things all went okay :)

ange- well done on the record! and even if it had been a slower time, it's still exercise which is what counts, right? haha, if I were you I'd be proud of myself for doing something, time is a bonus!

krampus- glad to hear you had a good time and a good weigh in! woo!

hoopty- oh man, :hug: that's an awful situation to be in. I'm glad you've got a week to get things organised though, I hope it all sorts out okay! I don't suppose there's any chance of you taking over the lease or anything is there? I don't know what to suggest, housing issues really suck :(

bunnabear- fingers are crossed for you, glad your health is back on track too! You should be seeing improvements in no time!

oleh- any way you could make your own Thai food? I've made Thai red curries and tom yum soups that have always turned out pretty decently and that way you can control exactly what goes in and what doesn't! I totally feel for you with the feeling of addiction though, there's the best Indian takeaway restaurant nearby to me and if I had the money I'd be ordering from there every week :(

aidan- ah I'm really jealous of people who have lovely places nearby to walk/run/cycle around. There's literally nothing near me :(

turbo- my parents house is absolutely stuffed full of dvds/cds/books, I went round last week with a large bag and gave loads to charity, I find sorting out such fun though. Or at least, the satisfaction when it's done! Good luck with the half marathon!

nova- go girl, you kick that holiday weekend blues! Just think, hiccups happen, gains happen, but if you give in then the gain is more than a little one! Whenever I find I've gone up I get really disheartened at the extra time to reach my goal that it's going to take and think about packing up, but then I think about how far I've come and how much longer it would take to loose a regained 20lbs before goal! Then I look at some workout websites or videos to spur me on, lol. Good luck!

batmomm- welcome back! What do you mean by 180#/190# etc? I'm no lifter, so I haven't a clue, lol. Is that pounds?

----------------

I've had such a crappy morning, my new phone was acting up so I rang up customer services and they sent a replacement. It was meant to arrive between 9-1 today, but the guy turned up at 7:45 and I was still asleep! So i ran out of bed and downstairs in my PJs, but got up so fast that I suddenly felt really awful and almost fainted on the doorstep. Couldn't concentrate to even get my sim and memory card out the old phone, so the guy did it for me. He didn't take out the memory card out but the sim holder instead without me realising. :( As soon as I felt better and realised, I rang up my phone company who told me that the only way to get it would be to put in an isolation request and would cost £90. What?! I'm so sad, there were so many pictures on there of previous pets and other things that I don't think I had backed up that I now can't get back. My own stupid fault for not getting the card out myself, but I feel so bummed out now :( /vent

In more positive news, despite lunch out the other day being a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet (eurgh, the food wasn't even nice!) I've maintained at 142. Yay!