novangel : I'm sure you'll pull off those leggings! ;) They are so original, love them!

ange : OMG about your shoulder surgery!! But as someone else said, at least when someone ask you about it, you look really bad*ss ''oh, I fell off Mt Kilimanjaro'' bwhahahaha!

I do get you on the wine part. In college, I was able to drink my life away all night low and go to class the next day. Today I feel tipsy after 2 glass of wine and I feel horrible for the next 48 hours :P I don't know if it is the weight or the fact that I am not 22 anymore though LOL

I love the Banff Festival Film!!! I want to go trekking and rock climbing and hiking all at the same time every times I see those LOL

xiaobaicai : Ahh, sorry to hear about the binge, but at least it was not a super duper ultimate 5000 calories binge (let's see the bright side of things :P) Plus you went you a bike ride! What kind of mileage of run are you considering doing this week?

Olehcat : I'm glad to hear you are feeling better!!! I agree with you, it might be a better idea to let your body adjust to the food you indulged on Sunday before WI, it is useless to make you feel bad for a number that does not represent you are really standing at! :)

nineteen : Welcome!!!! :)

Leaves : The meeting with the boyfriend's family was smooth, we've been together for a while so I met them before, luckily LOL What are you stuyding in??

Alexis : Ah, you posted while I was writing my post (...or should I say novel). About the graze box, I saw something like that on Pinterest, where your pack your snacks in 100 calories plastic bag and store it that way in the fridge. Sorry to hear you are feeling Blah :( It's probably a rough patch, I truly hope you'll feel better soon! And DATES, god. The loves of my life LOL.

***

Hi ladies! I was a no-show yesterday, my weight was up to 134.8 and even though I knew that toilet meet up were ''BLEH'' for the past 3 days and that the big Mother's Day meal did not help, BUT I still let the scale get to me (even if I should not).

I had a bad overall day yesterday. I decided to say FU to the so-called ''emergency pregnancy clinic'' thing and headed out to another one early in the morning to try to get an appointment with a doctor and managed to get one at 6:50 last night, so I spent all day panicking by myself at home lol.

I basically wanted to make sure and tell me ''we'll confirm you if you are pregnant or not'' but I left still confused. The doctor basically told me that he would beleive in the negative drugstore test I had and that my training plus the stress of maybe believing I was pregnant would be enough to stop my cycle for a while. He said we would wait for 3 to 6 months before really inquiring if I am pregnant or not. 3 TO 6 MONTHS!!! Anyway, he gave me a paper to allow me to have a blood exam for the pregnancy hormones if I really feel like it, but was strongly suggesting not to for a while.

... on the good note, the nurse that checked me up before I saw the doctor said I had an athlete pulse and blood pressure. OH YEAH. :P That got me feeling better, before leading me to panic again when she told me ''you know, I had a surprise pregnancy too when I was your age and she is now a nice and sweet teenager today!'' (..............PANIC PANIC PANIC)

Oh well. I'm planning to go for a interval run this afternoon, it will probably help to clear my mind. We had the boyfriend's mother, her boyfriend, and my bf's sister for dinner on Sunday, which was fun but exhausting, after a 14k training in the morning and spending the remaining of the day cooking and cleaning. We were planning to enjoy the next weekend (that is a long one here), having a nice BBQ with friends and trying to escape the boyfriend's father who want to visit ahah.

Have a good day ladies!

eurgh, looks like I'm joining you with the womb woes, Turbo :( I've had problems with breakthrough bleeding on the pill before and now it's started again. Wondering if it's a side effect of the weight loss maybe? Has anyone else experienced anything odd from losing?

Feel so rubbishy about it. I was late taking my first pill this month, so I know it could be that. Grumpy because I thought things were all okay after previous problems. /vent

:(

Turbo, 3-6 months is pretty WTF, you could have had a baby by then if you were pregnant! See someone else!!!

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking! I'm giving myself another week to see if TOM is coming and if it is still a no-show, I'm getting the blood test done next week.

Turbo Thanks! I hope you get another opinion soon, and I am hoping for a positive outcome for you!

Leaves I hope you feel better ASAP!

I have great news to share...I finally weighed in today, and I am actually down 3 lbs.!! I am definitely surprised, and this is a great way to restart my weight loss journey. If I can get below the 140's, I'll be thrilled!

Turbo ~ I second the "WTF" to the 3-6 months... Seriously, now. It seems like the kind of thing where you just want to look at the doc and say "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to do better than that..." and then they make out like you're being all hyper-concerned if you want to know sooner...

Krampus ~ Meant to mention how much I appreciated the "MFF" (My Friend Food) identification. It got me thinking about the other, much more supportive friends I have in my life....

My Friends... on 3fc *warm squishy hug*
My Friend, Treadmill
My Friend, the Great Outdoors
My Friend, Tea
My Friend, the Notebook

In one of the random blogs I was browsing, a woman mentioned painting with watercolors as her favorite activity before bed. 'Ise like, who does that? Who "paints with watercolors" before bed???? And can I become that person??? My friend, watercolors before bed...

Nineteen ~ Congrats on your loss! Way to smash those pounds. ;-)

TO TURBO-
(Sorry all, hate to be a lurker, but i CANT STAND to watch this unfold any longer, lol)

Turbo, turbo turbo.... You arent preganant. I dont think you could get pregnant. You are lean. you are *trying* to get leaner (whether or not you openly admit it, you attempt to hit deficit numbers almost everyday, and have been this way for-- almost 2 years?) You are running, daily, and not eating enough to support it.
Your period has left. Youre body is in a chronic state of stress, undereating, and overtraining. Youre body knows it and has shut down reproduction. You can continue to go to the dr as much as you want, but nothing they can do will bring your period BACK. The only thing that will bring it back, is a LONG period of eating at/above maintenance, and backing off the training.... you have to gain fat, and you have to rest. It took my body 2 YEARS to get it back. It came on its own sweet time, after i had been written off, at 30 YEARS OLD as having menopause. I was uber lean, trying to stay that lean (by the tight, calorie controlled methods you guys all employ) and running and training for marathons. Its a symptom of metabolic adaptation, along with your "athlete BP and HR" which are ALSO a result of undereating for such long a long time. I just went to the Dr and my ambient HR was 34 BPM!! Lance Armstrongs resting HR is 38, and im PRETTY sure im not in better shape than him ;)

Im sorry for intruding-- i felt a voice of reason was needed ;-)

That will definitely mess things up. You'll have spotting until you finish with your next real period and move on to a new cycle of pills. Things will straighten out then.

Turbo, I'm no Doctor but I don't think you're pregnant either. Like the other person said you're likely at too high of a deficit and probably stopped ovulating. Most of those over the counter PG tests are very accurate so I wouldn't worry.

alex - i laughed at your admiration of 'watercolours before bed'. let us know if you give it a go! When i was growing up my parents and i used to go hiking a lot and we'd sometimes take a mini-watercolours set each, and sit down for 15min and all attempt to paint the same scene. Funny; cos dad ended up with a huge landscape with tiny houses, or sheep or whatever, and mum ended up with massive houses or sheep and hardly any landscape (i was in the middle somewhere). None of us are much good at art, but it was fun!

Well, my achievement of the day was to rev up my work colleagues to do a 6-month diet with me. 9 of them have signed up. First weigh-in tomorrow. The plan is you have to weigh less each last-day-of-the-month than you did the month before (unless you're already at target weight, in which case you have to maintain). Ends at end of Nov. So everyone can 'win' but it's a slow and steady thing. We'll weigh in every week and i'll plot the results, but it's the monthly weigh-in that's going to count. If you put weight on, you pay a penalty which is individually chosen - will find out tomorrow what people pick. I'm thinking of dishing out $50 each to everyone if i fail to lose weight each month which is $400 and damned expensive - but that's the whole point of a deterrent surely. All i have to do is be consistently good all year and it won't cost me anything....

hey, feathers! So excited that my weigh-in today was 144.4! I know this is silly, but I haven't broken 145 in a LONG time (since maybe before the holidays? But maybe once afterwards, can't remember).

I hope this continues! I would LOVE to break 140 some time in the next month! (I had thought that would be in April, but that was not fated to be for me).

@nineteen - aw, I know how that is, travel and eating a lot -- usually the damage is pretty minimal and temporary, just get back in it and it should be fine. Good job on the whoosh!

@novangel - I know exactly how how you feel. I have had a VERY high stress last couple of months, and a lot of the stress has been lifted in the last week or so, and I am still completely exhausted (and then I got sick) and out of it and can't seem to get my exercise routine back to normal.

@ange - the best fun I used to have was getting together with nearby neighbors and polishing off a bottle of wine, so fun since nobody had to drive! :) Unfortunately those neighbors moved away...but I love that kind of thing. Oh my gosh, that weight loss contest sounds hardcore! :) Let me know how that goes! I would love to do something at work like that, but I would be MORTIFIED to weigh in with anyone but myself or have anyone at work know what I weigh...:D

@Leaves - yep, work related class, in order to update a license for my current position, ugh. So not riveting stuff since I already actually know most of it, it's just jumping through hoops and doing busy work. Wow, you've lost a lot of weight! Amazing!

@Alex - yes, I am glad that ex and I have a good relationship. We have a lot of fun together. I'm looking forward to the summer and just having a companion around. This past week when I was really sick? It really made me sad that I lived alone and that nobody was around to see if I was okay or needed some tea or anything. Made me miss living with someone (whether that person be a partner or a good friend). And I share your enthusiasm for yummy dates! I'm addicted to them now! :D Oh, and I giggled about the watercolors! i love coloring in mandela coloring books, heh.

@Turbo - yes, I might have to agree with some of the others about the overtraining maybe contributing to your lack of TOM. Low 130s is on the more slender side for your height (on me even it would be okay, but a little on the chunky side, and you are about six inches taller). Nothing wrong with wanting to stay around that weight and maintain, but I wonder if the stress of it is affecting your TOM? I'm not sure. But I think you should for sure get the blood work done to rule out anything else, no baby surprises in 7 months!! :)

Hi Feathers,

I'm up cause I had a lot of Chinese food for dinner (at a restaurant with friends, not "sad lonely takeout" as if that means any difference) - 125.6 this AM. I had a GREAT HIIT treadmill session and could have kept going forever. I keep putting off going to the doctor to get my back/leg pain checked out because I am in denial that it could possibly be a herniated disc or something scary like that - not smart.

As always I'm working on trying to accept myself and remind myself that existing is not a contest of weighing the least I have ever weighed or being leaner than other people. It's about doing things I like doing that aren't BAD for me (except a few times a year, hehe) and getting enough sleep and being competent at work and having fulfilling relationships with people.

Gearing up for that music festival next weekend - not excited about sitting in a car for 10 hours each way ESPECIALLY on the way back - going to make sure I locate some cheap motels on the way back for the sake of crashing if we need to. I won't compromise safety and sanity by having overtired/fried people driving. Does anyone have any awesome quick-slimming tips - like doing a keto/IP/Atkins induction for a week or something? Not like I actually will stick to it or anything, but you know.

Some pictures from recent excursions:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.n...78616568_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.n...35534251_n.jpg
Mother's Day! don't mind my bloated hangoverface

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.n...55436348_n.jpg

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...65716007_n.jpg
from our hike in the Adirondacks a couple weeks ago

olehcat Hooray for the low WI! It's funny and sad all at once how different certain numbers feel from other numbers. Are you all recovered from your illness??

ange82much Interesting idea for a contest. I'm sure "not having to pay other people for one's own weight gain" is a very strong incentive to stay on track - and with the new running route right by work you'll also not be able to use "nowhere to walk/run" as a reason to stay seated through lunch (I'm struggling with myself trying to talk myself into going for a walk, it's windy and grey but I don't NEED to sit in a chair for 8 hours straight!).

mkroyer Stop lurking and post sometimes! :P I tend to agree with what you've said about how resting and eating at maintenance calories will be the magic formula to bring TOM back.

nineteen Nice to find you have in fact not gained weight but lost it over a vacation! It really seems like a crap chute with those things...sometimes I feel like all I do is eat and I come back lighter, and other times I feel I'm being moderate in everything and can't zip stuff.

Alex I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling blah lately. Is it due to anything specific? How did the date go over the weekend? Graze box is an interesting idea - I think it would work great for some, but for those with a rebellious spirit like myself who freak out at the presence of boundaries or restrictions, could be totally ineffective and have the opposite effect.

Leaves Thanks for asking - the dinner was amazing and very rich. You know what's sort of funny is that my 2 girlfriends I see most where I'm living now also share our name - so on occasions we go out and meet people they think we're making fun of them by saying we all have the same name!

Turbo IMO you should definitely get a second opinion. Interestingly I also had low blood pressure and a lower resting heart rate when I was eating at a deficit, and both seem to have increased now that I eat maintenance calories or more most days. As long as you're not pregnant though who cares? :P

novangel Did the leggings come yet? You HAVE to post a photo! :P Sorry you have been feeling all crappy and tired. Has it improved at all since you made that last post?

xiaobaicai That sounds like an "involuntary refeed" more so than a "binge" if you have been logging 10+ mile runs regularly and didn't feel full. I definitely got nostalgic for some things in Japan but I have to admit the thing I missed most was being able to get a salad full of STUFF at restaurants like you can here - with cheese crumbles and fruit and nuts and all that stuff. CONGRATS on finishing that assignment!!!!

Olehcat Thank you! Congrats on the breakthrough! I know how that tiny nudge lower on the scale can make a huge difference to your momentum! Great work!! :)

Krampus Thank you! Also, I love your pics. You look fantastic!!!

I am happy I weighed in again at 141.

Hope everyone has a great day!

nineteen : Congrats on the low WI! That is definitely a huge kickstart!

Alexis : Jesus, WHO paints watercolors before bed!? I have SO not acquired this peaceful mind yet LOL

mkroyer : Actually, I am conscious of everything you posted. Actually, not having my period wouldn't be a big deal for me, knowing that I just enter Maintenance mode, struggling the right balance in this, being on a tight training schedule as my next half is coming toward me quickly, probably still not eating enough, despite the increased of calories I'm trying to eat lately.

All of this would make me go '' MEHHHH '' at my lack of periods... The thing is, we had a little contraception incident, 3 months ago, and since than it is WWIII between the ''you are maybe pregnant'' and the ''you are not pregnant'' iin my mind. I had to take the special ''take the next day'' BC pill, TOM came the next month (but was it really TOM? Or just spotting?) and after that, nada. The lack of TOM alone, I can do. The lack of TOM + that event = a bit more stressful :S

The doctor was pretty confident that I was not pregnant though, I did not have more symptoms + the negative tests, but the ''what if..?!'' is still there and annoying. :(

novangel : Thank for you comment, too. I must be so annoying with al those stories lol. I'm with Krampus, did the legging came in already??

ange : I love the slow and steady aspect of your little competition! And woooah 50$, you ARE NOT JOKING with this thing ;)

Olehcat : That is funny your mentioned the stress of maintaining, because I was readying about lack of period this afternoon, and I was ready a very good article from a clinic in France saying that ''mental anorexia'', like being obsessed by losing weight or not gaining, could sometimes provoked the absence of TOM. - Congrats on your low WI! You go woman!!

krampus : The part where you are saying when it's not about being a contest about being at the lowest weight you can ever be - well, I can relate to that :P Be careful about this 10 hours drive thing!!! I don't know about atkin/IP, but for the keto diet, the only thing I know is that it is INTENSE and that if you don't suffer epilepsy, you probably don't want to go through that :P Love your pictures - I would have stolen one of those duckies.

***

Back in the 132's this morning. I had a good lifting workout, I was able to increase the Barbell Squat of 5 pounds and I noticed that my form is getting much better.

I read all your comments and I agree with everything everybody said. I'm probably over-training right now and being just out of dieting mode and trying this maintenance thing, there's a lot of chance that I'm still not eating enough, even if increasing my calories of 200 felt hugeee to me. I feel like this typical eating disorder kid who don't know how it is to eat normally, know what I mean??

I bumped my calories to a basal 2000 + bonus depending of the daily workout. I'm honestly still calories counting, to make sure to hit the number. I grew so used to smaller portions, that even at 1800, I had to take a snack in the evening to increase the number.

Okay, sorry for all those #firstworldproblems ramblinng. Peace ouuut!

Yes, they came! I know in the pic they look like a stretchy material but they're actually denim believe it or not. I had to get a size 10 to fit VS skinny jeans otherwise I'm normally a size 6-8, just depends on brand.

I really wanted the red ones but thought it would be too obnoxious if I wanted to wear them anywhere else besides work. I can post a pic of them later. ;)

I need to get off my @ss and get to the gym.

Krampus, love the pictures. :)

novangel Please do post a pic! :)