Petty Confessions
 

I am going to let loose my confessions here as I am too modest in real life to ever admit these to anyone! And it was only in the last couple weeks has my mind finally caught up to my weight loss. OK, here they come! ---

1) I weigh less than my younger sister for the first time ever. It makes me a little happy that she is stuck at her current weight. :smug:

2) I am always catching the new cute guy in my office stare at me. And I like it. A lot! I will sometimes go out of my way to make sure he sees me.

3) I will check myself out in whatever gives off a reflection. I got caught checking out my backside with a handheld mirror in the women’s bathroom at work last week. :o

4) I recently purchased a CZ wedding ring and band set which I keep in my wallet. If I am in a “don’t try and chat me up” mood, I slide them on.

Please share what yours are! (‘cause you know you have one or two confessions!! :devil:)

Ahhh I love this!

I also have a faux wedding ring whenever I get drug to single bars with girlfriends. And I've been checking my reflection in EVERYTHING.

Let me see...

1) I love the fact that my S.O. is digging my body so much now that I practically have to beg him to let me go to sleep after copious amounts of sex. EVERY day. Multiple times. And I dig the fact that I'm not afraid to let him see the way I look anymore since I've feeling CONFIDENT!

2) Women in my office are particularly snobby to me now. (They are all wenches anyway and I dig that I get under their skin. OMG I'm so spiteful!)

3) I am so close to matching my two-faced passive-aggressive friend's weight, and then I can't wait to casually mention when I slide under it.

Haha, omg, I sound like a total b!tch. :o

Being thinner than my younger sister, who was always very thin when we were kids and stayed that way until she got a 12-15 hr. a day desk job, was my big weight loss goal 10 years ago. One day, my best friend saw the both of us together and told me that I had definately reached my goal. I never did see it at the time though. Sibling rivalry!! LOL Petty? Yes, but it was my motivation. She didn't mind then because she wanted to share clothes LOL Since then, we have both been about the same weight. But now, she is 8 months pregnant and halfway jokingly asked me, "Why do you have to get skinny when I am pregnant?" LOL

I love this thread!
1)I love the fact that I am now slightly thinner than my best friend who has always been the hottest one in the group that all the boys flirt with

2) I love meeting guys who rejected me because they thought I was too fat, and seeing their jaw drop!

3) I like the feeling of superiority when I eat something super healthy and my friends/family are eating crap.

4) I am also constantly looking at myself in the mirror

LOL --- yes, this has been on my mind lately too. I find myself going into areas of town that they may be wandering around in. I even conteplated texting an ex I haven't seen or talked to in about a year because I know for a fact he'll want to grab a drink after work somewhere. BUT, he's remarried (which is why I left him alone) to someone who he said was a better fit for him physically. Such a shame that he told me right before they got married that she gained 50 pounds and how displeased he was about it. LOL He's a jerk, I know, and I'm thankful to have dodged that bullet but I'd still love to see his face! :hyper:

This can be a dangerous thread. In an anonymous forum, it can be a healthy way to admit our inner demons, though.

I didn't lose any weight but I Love love LOVE the fact that my former "good friend" who is now 3 years into a relationship with my ex husband has been and will always be less physically fit than me - AND THAT IT BOTHERS HER.

I put the last part in all caps because I want to emphasize that me being more fit isn't the point. The point is that it bothered her when we were friends (1 of the reasons we were never great friends) and now, because of what others have told me, it bothers her even more that, in her words, she'll "never match up to me, physically".

She is SO motivated by material things that I think this is the perfect punishment for her betrayal.

Besides that, though ladies, please don't be haters. I've lived a life of people judging me because I'm thin. It hurts just as much as it does for being judged when you're over weight.

Was someone being a hater towards thin people?

I think the beauty of this thread is that most women here have been made to feel inferior in some way (usually because of weight, but truly it could be because of anything) -- I think it's supposed to be meant as self-empowering and not so much catty. (Whereas mentioning any of these things to someone in real life would seem inappropriate and vain.)

Course I'm not the OP, it's just how I interpreted it.

I would never say the things I wrote above to ANY of my friends -- thin or fat. It really just goes back to the vain things I am proud of. Dorian's interpretation is correct. :) Perhaps the "LOL" I put in my last post might have seemed as if I was laughing at my ex's wife because she gained 50 pounds but actually I was laughing over the irony of it because my ex dumped me because of my weight.

But yes, the purpose of this thread is to confess those little petty things that many here on 3FC would understand. But I do see where it could possibly get "hateful" and I am glad you made mention of that. That's the last thing I would ever want!!

Ah, see I took the LOL as THAT'S KARMA to your jerkface ex! :high: Who would go around complaining to ANYONE of their S.O.'s weight anyway? Ugh!

I used to live in mortal fear of running into my cheating-jack*** ex since I gained 30+lbs since he last saw me... I think now I would rather enjoy him seeing me looking RIDICULOUS hot, with my new AMAZING beau, flipping him off. :D

It's all cool, guys. I just wanted to make mention of it for potentially getting out of hand.

My fiance just joined the army, and i can't wait for the day when i get to go visit him at basic and all his buddies get to see that hes the guy with the hot wife.
Like Dorian5 mentioned, i love the look in my fiances eyes when i put on something sexy. It's nice to be desired. (saying that in real life would receive a "-_- its not all about sex you know" from a majority of ppl)

my mom has always been super obsessed with weight, i learned my horrible destructive yo-yo dieting and emotional eating from her. Because she has been obsessed with her own weight, she was also always obsessed with my weight, and my sisters' weight. I have a sister who is 4'11. Even though she is about my pant size, she still looks thinner than me because shes so short and she holds her weight in different places (i have a round head which makes me look fatter). My mom has always made remarks about how tiny my sister is (even though, like i mentioned, we are the same pant size. and my sister hardly eats. shes have a couple bits at breakfast, lunch and dinner. my mom turns a blind eye to this because of how obsessed she is with my sister being tiny). Im excited to be thinner than my sister, because it makes me feel empowered that it doesnt matter how tiny my sister LOOKS, im healthy, strong, AND im thinner.

I am feeling pretty smug about the fact that I am 3 mos pregnant, eating ice cream and pizza all day and cannot gain a pound. I am below 120 for the first time in years. It won't last, I know, but I am still enjoying it.

My doctor told me that someone as healthy, active, and thin as me will have no trouble going back to this weight after the baby is born. He hee!

Here is another confession: I went to a party last night, scanned the room, and decided I was the thinnest woman in the room.

Don't tell anyone ladies, but I am a closet snob! lol

I just saw my sister for the first time since I got to be a lower weight than her. She was at work and it was just my mom and I around. I went into her closet and tried on all her pants. All did NOT fit! But in a good way! :D

I also bought a pair of size 8 pants that my sister seemed to like. I said, "Try them on. If you like them, you can have them". She did and a little while later I saw them on my bed. I asked if she liked them. She said, "No". And walked way. I knew they wouldn't fit.

Damn, I'm petty!

I know I said that my sister was also one of my motivating factors in the past, but you take sisterly competition to a whole new level! I would have a teenage flashback and totally freak out if my sister went in my closet without permission.

Wow, I thought I was competitive with my sister! It secretly pleases me that I'm almost the same size as her now but I'd feel really mean letting her try on things I know won't fit her. I don't think she is skinnier than me just to spite me (like yours probably wasn't to spite you?!)

On a brighter note, I love the comments I get from people when they try and guess how much weight I've lost. I haven't even lost that much but estimates vary from 5-10kg. Woop.

I also like being able to run longer and faster than all of my friends. I compete with them in my head and am only happy with a race if I've beaten everyone I know. Petty, much?!

I get excited when I'm the thinnest person in a room.

I look at good photos of myself over and over and over and over again.

Without fail, whenever I am in a fitting room I suck in my stomach and admire how small my ribcage/waist area looks.

I love being able to abstain from eating certain fattening foods while others are stuffing their face with garbage around me.
I feel superior when I'm working out in my living room early in the morning or late at night and my step mom and/or step sister walk by with cake or Mc Donalds in their hands. It has to make them feel lazy, not big fans of either of them :)
I like being the smallest and fittest out of most of my friends.

1) I feel awesome when I can wear a size medium dress (I blame my hispanic genes for the boobs and butt! lol) while my very cruel sister-in-law is stuck in her Wal-mart wardrobe of stretchy shorts and cheap-looking shirts because she can't fit into anything else. [I normally want people to lose weight, but she is SO mean to me! I'd like to have one-upped her on something.]

2) I check for weight loss on the scale/in the mirror/with my skinny pants too much. Skinny pants are still somewhat tight, but its getting better.

3) I loved being the thinnest girl at my old job by at least 80-100 lbs!

4) I loved eating/cooking healthy food when living with my in laws for my husband and I while they ate overly fatty things with ten tons of butter. And they wondered why they are all at least 70 lbs overweight. lol

I may get in trouble for saying this, but I do want to echo what fitness4life said earlier.

We are on a board where many people are overweight or obese and struggling for their lives. It's come up before that sometimes it bothers them that Featherweights, many who are at the tail end of their weight loss or who are only working on vanity pounds, are allowed on their board. I can sort of see their point. I feel guilty at times trying to identify or support someone who is trying to lose 100 lbs when I'm only trying to lose 10, when my starting weight may be way below their goal weight.

I don't know if we are helping ourselves or the non-Featherweights on this board when we talk about how smug we feel about being thinner than other people. The kinds of people we talk about feeling superior to because we are pretty small are the kinds of people who come to this board every day because they are self-conscious about what thinner people are thinking when they see them, because they ARE the heaviest in the room, because they are afraid to go to the gym because of people like us who feel smug that we can run faster than others in the gym, and because they can't lose the weight we have lost.

I am not belittling the great weight losses some of you have accomplished. Looking in the mirror all the time is completely understandable- that can happen at all weights and it's wonderful if you feel good about yourself enough to do that. What I'm concerned with are the other types of victories- the ones over other people. But posting on a board how we love being "the thinnest" around people who are struggling with their weight, even if it's a separate corner of the board, may not be the best place to do it.

I imagine I'll get flamed for this, but after reading this board several times over the last few days I'm willing to take it.

Indiblu, you make some great points. I was reading through these and I thought they were funny when they were geared at certain people in the poster's lives or when people enjoyed their great looking bodies. However, I was slightly offended (and I wish I wasn't, but I want to be honest) when some posts were stating that someone felt good about being the smallest one at work or whatever. I really get that but at the same time, this is precisely what I felt about my skinny co-workers when I was heavy. I was hoping that they felt bad for me and that they were rooting for me to lose weight (I'm always trying) so that I can be just as happy and fit as they are. I absolutely know that these types of posts shouldn't bother me at all because we are all entitled to feel what we feel and the great thing about this board is that you can really let it all hang out, so to speak. But I just wanted to underscore what indiblue so eloquently explained.

Finally, I know some of these posters from previous posts and I know they are wonderful, supportive women so my comments are in no way a reflection of what I think of anyone's character. I think we all have times when we might feel something that isn't 100% angelic. ;)

indiblue, well said.

Doesn't this thread tell so much about society when it comes to weight? It's like, damned if your'e fat, damned if you're thin.

But the point of the thread was to get off our chests something that bothered us previously. Something specific, like in my instance, a friend that stabbed me in the back who is bothered by my fitness and it secretly amuses me that this bothers her.

In an anonymous forum, to get this off our chests can be good for our self but we do need to keep this thread in check that it doesn't become bashing to the fat, fit or too thin.

Keep it personal, not general.

I definitely see what you're saying and agree with the message. Judgmental and snarky are ugly, but it's also important to not apologize for existing like so many overweight/confidence-lacking women tend to do. So far every post on here is personal, I haven't seen any posts that imply that someone looks at a fat stranger and feels smug and superior.

I'd also like to remind that the mental transformation that takes place when one goes from "fat" to "not fat anymore" is a huge one, and almost every loser (of weight) I've met has gone through a few phases, ranging from "annoying diet expert" to "feeling like a fake thin person" and "ohsh!tohsh!t I can't stop looking in the mirror." As with any big life change/event, I think it takes time to even out the kinks and become comfortable and accustomed to life as a healthy/slender person.

I honestly did feel a little embarrassed when I first came across this post and read some of the comments. And I was admittedly a little apprehensive about sharing my own. But I think the title itself and the way the creator prefaced her comment allows one to share how they feel without the fear of offending others. I don't think anyone who commented meant to offend others who have larger weight loss struggles.

I hardly consider myself a " featherweight " anyway regardless of my weight loss goal. I just started participating because I related to the ladies who were contributing. So I don't consider myself superior to ladies who have much more weight to lose than I do.... and only playfully superior to the people my comments were directed at. In reality whether we are trying to lose the last 10 or 100, the battle with health, weight, and self acceptance is one we all share on 3fc.

This was just a place to vent those personal, petty, maybe not so nice thoughts we all have that we usually wouldn't share and make light of them. And we all do have them these just happen to be on the topic of weight loss and appearance.

krampus and skinny, I like what you wrote.

I think it's normal that when a person has been mean to you for a prolonged period of time ( I have that person in my life) and when that person is overweight, that when you become fit, you feel a little bit of gloating about being healthy and loooking good, while the mean person is struggling.
I think it's just human nature. However, I'm ashamed of feeling that way.

I've had that one person made me feel inferior about my weight for a long time, so it's only natural that I use my weight now to feel superior... Does anyone know what I'm trying to say?

Not related to weight, but I have a petty confession from today. I was running behind and instead of getting my boat in the lake by myself while the kids were at school, I had to trailer it to school and my son would be able to help be launch it and drive it to the dock.

Perfect timing. My ex/friend and also my ex's girlfriend (same biotch)- who had recently purposely flaunted and driven past me in her brand new car for no obvious practical reason - was parked right in front of where I parked.

What's petty about it is, I know she already feels inferior to my fitness. I also know she feels stupid that she can't drive a boat, let alone care for one, trailer it and launch it, but I also know that my ex HATES my boat. It's my "F-U" boat because he witheld money knowning I was trying to buy one, but I was able to buy one twice as nice as his old one in spite of that. So I show up in my perfectly fine truck, towing my kick arse boat, looking good in a fitted shirt, while my sons run up to me excited that they get to participate and launch the boat. And. The. oldest. is. 12. She walked to her car just in time to see it all.

I hope that she knows that my actions are simply my own. I had no intention of one-upping her in any way. Maybe, just maybe, she knows she's sloppy seconds and that's just what she deserves.

I still pray for her. Because I feel bad for saying this stuff. And she needs a prayer. We all do.

I don't understand why this thread is a problem. Have we all not agreed that weight loss has an emotional component as well as a physical one? If there is an entire thread of people on this forum who all find a thread like this therapeutic as part of their weight loss/maintenance, then why do we need to call the PC police for people who might read it and possibly personalize comments not all made toward them?

If you have a problem with this thread, then you have a problem with anyone on this board who has ever complained about being 'fat' or "gross" or upset over their weight when there are others here who are starting at over 100 lbs heavier than them.

I have a long way to go, and I really enjoyed this thread, because realistically, most people in our society have these thoughts and feelings. I find it very helpful to have these thoughts aired out so that we can all deal with them in the open, instead of hunkering down and pretending that we're -all- losing the weight solely for health and other "saintly" reasons.

Amen, doopdoop! You said it perfectly.

For the record, I came to the featherweights board after it was VERY clear that I was not welcome or wanted on ANY of the other boards. You certainly are damned to be thin or fat. I think it is fine that we feel good about ourselves. The reason we are smug and secretive is because we are not SUPPOSED to feel good about ourselves.

There's a difference between feeling good about yourself and feeing superior to all the other people around you when you walk into a room. That kind of thing made me wonder if women who are thinner than I feel superior to me? I used to think it was just me being paranoid, but now, I'm getting the sense that I wasn't paranoid after all. That said, I think everyone has the right to post in any section of this forum and should feel welcomed and if they don't then whoever is making them feel that way is being a hypocrite. We all have a right to an opinion and we all are capable and likely of having less than admirable motives for our weight loss....I absolutely have reasons that are not about health.....I wanna look smokin' hot! ;)

So, post whatever floats your boat but just as much as you have a right to express your honest opinions, I hope you don't mind me commenting on how it made me feel. It's not an effort to make anyone feel that they need to be PC....not at all. Ok, I'll shut up now! ;)

:hug:s to all

First of all, noticing that you are the thinnest in the room does NOT mean you feel superior. I don't think anyone said that. Being the thinnest does not mean you are the smartest, prettiest, friendliest, most well-endowed, wealthiest..you get the idea.

To me, when I notice I am the thinnest in the room I don't think less of the other ladies in the room at all. It is simply a reference point for me. I grew up being small, and I must admit it is part of my identity. I DO notice when someone is smaller and it makes me feel less special. But NEVER do I look down on someone who is bigger. That is the honest truth!

I was always very small and the thinnest in the room. Now I notice when I'm NOT the thinnest, and it makes me feel crappy. However, I never notice when I AM the thinnest (which is still pretty often). Weird, eh?

Okay, biotch moment here: I love threads like when they're fun and free of judgment, especially when it's passive-aggressive judgment that also manages to emphasize the speaker's own 'amazing' body that other people will always be 'inferior' to. I'm going to leave it at that.

indiblue has a good point, thought. So I'll limit my petty joy to as unsnarky-as-possible: I'm home now with HS friends and all of them are complaining about having gained weight during college... I just kept my mouth shut. I kind of (guiltily) love that I've been able to lose the weight I gained, so I can pretend to have been magically immune around them.

(With closer friends I'm obviously open and supportive about things like this... but it's still secretly a little bit great to pretend I don't have to diet, now and then.)

This is so awesome. ha ha ha ha ha. Go you!

I can see both sides of the issue.

The title of the original post is "petty confessions". The word petty already means everyone posting in this thread is revealing the darkest thoughts we have that we acknowledge as not being the nicest nor honorable nor most productive train of thought.

I took great pleasure in getting a friend request from an ex of mine on facebook. We didn't part in the best way when he dumped me and later, I found out through friends he was already dating someone new. The girl was thinner than me so it was a huge blow to my ego. I have nothing against the girl since she did nothing wrong.

So when I got the friend request, I felt smug about it. No I didn't accept. I was at a much lower weight (around 140s) which is smaller than I was when I was with him 6+ years ago. I'm even smaller now and with the love of my life for almost 5 years now. Whereas he seems to be still floating through different girls :)

Here's my petty confession.

To cut a very long story short, I had a friend who is no longer a friend who was very skinny. One day, we were talking about going travelling and the places we'd like to visit and I mentioned that I have always wanted to go to south-east Asia, specifically Vietnam. I joked about being small enough to be considered average height at which point she told me that people in Vietnam were small AND thin and that I was too fat to go (might've weighed slightly more than I weigh now at the time of this conversation so it kind of upset me).

We moved in together at the begining of this year she would come up to me whilst I was cooking and lean over my shoulder and make horrible comments about how disgusting what I was cooking was, especially if it was mushrooms or something vegetable based that she wasn't familiar with. I've always tried to eat a balanced diet where as she has food issues and basically only eats frozen pizza, sausages, mince, chicken, pasta, potato, sauce and butter.

Fast-forward a year and she's put on a fair amount of weight, not evenly, but in her stomach so she looks as though she's expecting even though she's not. I noticed it the other day and I felt very smug knowing that her diet has finally caught up with her and my 'disgusting' diet has helped me lose nearly 2 stone. Guess she should consider staying out of Vietnam too.*

*Sometimes my humour might read a bit funny so I was want to clarify that I don't really think either of us are too fat to visit Vietnam, I wanted to point out how stupid her comment really was.

I am the original poster of this thread and I just got around to reading all the comments. I may not necessarily agree with what everyone said because of my own feelings about what petty confessions mean to me but I certainly understand where those people are coming from. It got me to thinking though……

I wonder how this post and responses to it would have been perceived if it were not in the featherweights forum and if I was still so far from goal? Because although I do have petty confessions now that I have lost weight doesn’t mean I didn’t have those petty confessions when I started my journey back in January. Know what I mean? Basically, because these petty thoughts of mine where there from the get-go, that tells me they were not derived out of malice. I certainly can’t imagine that anyone here who shared their confessions were out of malice either. :)

:hug:

I am not a Featherweight (just check the ticker ;)), and yet I was actually enjoying reading the petty confessions. They were... just that. Little things we sometimes think about how others have treated us, and maybe the devil on our shoulder is smiling to himself about how we've done well... and... they haven't! *cough* :devil::o

I didn't even think of it as a pure Featherweight emotion. :shrug: Over in the Weight Loss Support area there was a thread about Evil Motivations which was round about the same thing. Some of the "less desirable", but none-the-less satisfying reasons to lose weight were listed off with much merriment. :)

It's just that in the Featherweight section I see them as "realized"... most people here are perhaps closer to their goal and have achieved some of those lingering petty goals. To see the person who always made fun of you have to eat their words. To be able to step into those jeans that your friend wears and button them...and gosh there's room! Etc. Etc.

Sure, I have my own petty goals, and reading through here I was able to mentally give each person a little "Good for you! Getting healthier -and- sort of stuffing it in your sister's face. :devil:"

Separately: As for people not being welcomed in certain areas... well... I haven't found that. Mind you, I'm not saying others' feelings aren't valid. I feel bad that it would have happened to anyone. As far as I've seen everyone is welcome in any place as long as they're respectful. It's more like... I don't generally post in the Featherweights as people here might be asking questions of a person who specifically only has a little bit of weight to lose, whereas my life is different, so my answer either may not fit or may not come from a place with as much knowledge about the situation.

The very few times I have posted in the Featherweights (such as now) I didn't ever feel like I was getting the stink-eye and being told to leave... unless I was... and maybe I'm just really bad at reading in between the lines! :lol: :dizzy: Still doubtful, as I've found most people to take the advice/opinions of most 3FCers thoughtfully despite the journey. A whole lot of good advice can come from unexpected sources, after all!

:goodvibes

Now, um, back to vicariously achieving those petty goals!

Lovely - I think you're AWESOME for posting that. And I love reading all your posts on the board in general. :)

I have a petty confession from today...

My obese ex-roommate who complains about her weight all the time but refuses to do anything, has criticized my weight and lifestyle, and eventually literally tried to ruin my life to the point that I moved out and filed for a no contact order... unknowingly helped me buy a size 00 pair of jeans (my goal jeans! no worries. they're vanity-sized) today with the gift card she gave me for Christmas 6 months ago... and I'm not going to lie... I thought, "Hah! That was probably the only thing that small she'll ever buy. Thanks, b****!"

I just had to tell someone that...

*I'm horrible. And would like to remind everyone that this was a strictly personal thought, and I have no ill will toward anyone else who struggles with their weight. I have, too, and it's a hard road. I also understand that most people are not physically meant to be very small unless they are petite with a small frame. But chances are, most people haven't tried to ruin my life or put me through the **** that this person did.

Wow, this was a fun thread to read through! Thank you, Lovely, for understanding that these gals don't mean they think evil/mean thoughts about anyone/everyone struggling with their weight. It's about "HEY - I have something to feel good about myself, brag about, feel vindicated for, etc" And so what if they aren't "PC" thoughts? We have all struggled with weight and that's why we're here on 3FC. This is a good thread to boast those little naughty thoughts that would not be well-received in any other social situation. I guess I haven't gotten to the point where I have a petty confession, but I'm looking forward to when that day comes! Like when my skinny friend says I'm skinny again (I used to be) - that will feel great! Even though I'll never be as skinny as her, I loved it when she thought I was underweight. (Which I certainly was not) LOL