krampus, I'm sorry that happened but I'm happy to hear that you feel committed to keeping yourself in check. You have worked so hard! You can let go of the guilt of that moment and move on to success. :hug:

indiblue, I am SO envious of your mile time -- WOW!

My new Nike Free Run+ shoes came in the mail today and I've committed to putting 15 miles on them next week during spring break -- no more or less, to balance the needs of my heart and ankle. I can only hope I'll have fitness to rival the bunch of you girls soon.

Wish me luck as I try to tackle spring break & all its dangers -- constant food & drinking included, of course -- while staying on-plan. :)

Ahhh I'm just finishing up Spring Break, had like 4 off-plan, but not crazy, days. I've been off 3FC for like a week... glad to be back! :-)

Dianne you are so sweet. It's easy for me right now to control temptation because I'm working from home and able to plan and measure almost all my meals at home. The real test will come when I go back to the office and have lunch, various snacks, breakfroom food, etc all staring me down.

Really awesome about your size 4 NSV! I'm right there with you on the slow and steady wins the race mentality... even if it's just 1 lb a month, a loss is a loss. Your positive attitude is definitely motivating me.

lackadaisy yay! Nothing as motivating as new workout equipment. I hope on spring break you're able to enjoy yourself and be happy with your plan at the same time. A difficult balance but you have such a clear head about this whole process so I'm sure you'll have blast!

Welcome back LLBold! Hope you had a wonderful and relaxing time. Good to have you back.
--

Yesterday was bizarre- spent most of the day prepping for our party we had. On my feet a good 6-7 hours straight cooking, etc. Ate 300 calories the whole day, then about 1000 during the party I'm estimating. I didn't do too much damage but the food was pretty salty and a bit fattening, so it all didn't come from the best sources.

I tried to detox a little today. Went to the gym, ate mostly fruits and veggies. I wanted to have a fairly low caloric intake today but it didn't happen... oh well. At least got in a good workout. :)

AHHH last night I ate SO good and then my roommate and girfriends decided to come over and make pancakes, so I had a big stack. :-( I have no self control when my friends make food!

BAD: Binging continued through Saturday night. Weight is so far up I don't even want to think about it. Japan is in a total state of emergency and I am feeling pangs of survivors' guilt for being so disconnected to the chaos. My jaw and mouth hurt from simply too much chewing. That last one is probably what freaked me out the most. I've never had my FACE hurt from eating too much.

GOOD: Spoke to a couple friends I really trust about my budding problem. Spent hours on healthygirl.org reading about the diet-binge-diet-binge cycle, intuitive eating, and forgiving yourself for binges. Forgave myself. Accepting that this isn't going to be as easy as switching from "bad" to "good" behavior. Focusing on eating "real" food and ONLY eating when I feel hungry.

Dianne Intuitive eating is just what I am going to try. Not "no rules" intuitive eating since right now my stomach is expanded to probably three times its normal capacity and I have sugar headaches, but constantly thinking in terms of calories with daily weighing makes me feel quite crazy. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and understanding.

LLBold I used to avoid pancakes like the plague because of their sugar/carb content. Now I've discovered making pancakes with oats, pumpkin, mashed banana, bran, and other delicious and healthy ingredients and I'm in love. Maybe next time you could offer to make pancakes for your friends and go healthy on them? I now make healthy ones for my BF and he loves them almost as much as regular ones.

krampus You are so self-aware and are taking really productive/healthy steps towards addressing behaviors you're concerned with. Applauding you for doing that. I've never been on healthygirl.org but am heading there now. Thanks for sharing :)

--

Ok, lost my way a little bit for a few days and am recommitted now. I didn't really overeat, I got my exercise, and didn't do anything too egregious. But I KNOW I wasn't doing the best I could, and there's a reason I went back up to 129 after a few days at 128. So here I am now acknowledging what i need to be doing and making those changes.

> Cutting sugar
> Watching salt
> Really only drinking diet sodas when I need to stave off a sugar craving, not just for fun with meals
> Trying out IF, which means not eating anything until later in the afternoon. This is the biggest change I'm making and I feel very confident it will be a good one. Eating small meals throughout the day only makes me want to eat more snacks and nibbles, which I usually do. Waiting until later in the day to eat, and then eating a large meal until I'm full, may help me avoid my typical my all-day graze-fest Right now it's 1 PM, I worked out for 1 hour, and I haven't had anything to eat. I've also had almost 3 L of water, am not hungry, and am really excited about having a large delicious meal in the next hour. Calories of course will still be about the same- 1200- but I think this method may help me sidestep some of my weaknesses.

I keep saying I'm not going to weigh, but I just can't break that cycle. It's not a bad thing though. Today I saw I have gone down 1.5 kg overnight, and I feel very "deflated" except for a bit of residual heartburn leftover from binging. There is a lot of new fat around my stomach and thighs and hips, but all I can do is work to make sure new fat doesn't accumulate.

What started off as a wonderful day (saw 127.8 for the first time in months) has gone rapidly downhill. New job has almost all but fallen through, not sure what's next. Reminds me that sometimes there are more important things than weight loss :-/

Boards are quiet these days, hope everyone is enjoying themselves on vacation, etc. Look forward to folks being back. krampus I misread your last post several times and wondered how you could be down and deflated after such a loss. Then I realized you meant less-inflated size-wise and understood ^_^ happy for you.

Hi everyone,

I've been away for a bit and thought I'd check in. Things aren't going great for me. I've taken a diet break Thursday - Monday. I didn't eat whatever I wanted but I ate when I was hungry (which is every 2 hours) and didn't count calories or weigh myself.

I am beyond disapointed that I won't be making my St Patrick's day goal. Saturday I am going to a party with friends - some I haven't seen since a New Year's eve party - and I was so hoping to be 130 and have everyone say "WOW." Instead, here I am an entire freakin 1-2 lbs lighter than I was when they saw me NYE. Sigh.

I'm not sure what's next for me...I'm going to focus more on exercise and less on counting calories. I've been counting calories since September (yes, I did take breaks) but I hate it. Some days I feel pressured to eat more for fear I will be hungry later, most days I am just starving in general. I also hate having to write down my 130 calorie apple because I'd really rather eat a 130 calorie cookie and when you just track calories that makes it seem fine. Heck, a cookie fills me up way more than a crappy apple.

I've decided to start back up running, but I am a bit concerned it will make my hunger completly out of control. I started trying to lose weight a year ago by running and never lost any, I just had insane hunger constantly. I gave up the running when it got cold last fall and started calorie counting. I've still been getting out here and there for runs, but it hasn't been consistent.

I don't know, that's where I am at. Just wanted to check in.

Wildflower! I'm happy to see you but bummed things are rough right now. I definitely feel for you.

krampus and I are trying intermittent fasting and it has been amazing for both of us for the past two days. Basically, fast for 14-16 (or more) hours, then eat your alloted calories. Science behind it is that constant small meals keeps the insulin levels high, which suppresses the burning of "stubborn" fat. For both krampus and I, it helps with the constant nibbling brought on by eating tiny 200-cal meals and never being full. Yesterday I ate a BIG lunch and a BIG dinner and was down the next morning. Today I ate a BIG lunch and had to force myself to eat dinner to get in close to 1200. I forgot how wonderful it feels to be FULL. Plus, no snacking today.

Just a thought. In just 48 hours I'm a convert.

indiblue, with the intermittent fasting, what times are you eating? I've seen others praise this system and I'm curious about it, but the times of day I'm most ravenous are at breakfast and dinnertime, so I don't know if I could do it. :/

kat I always woke up with an acidy stomach (I have a bit of acid reflux), so I would force myself to eat breakfast to calm the stomach, not necessarily because I was hungry. I like you assumed I could never skip breakfast because of this. However, with a LOT of water and tea, it's been fine. I've been most hungry from 8:30 AM- 10 AM and then after that it's been easy.

The first day I tried it I ate lunch at 1:30 and dinner at 7 PM. I stopped eating by 9 PM. This was a bigger "window" than many people who IF have, but I wasn't worried about a strict schedule this early in the game. Yesterday I ate at 4:30 PM and then 7 PM, stopped eating by 8 I think. Still playing around with what window works better, but fasting in the morning was definitely a lot easier than I thought it would be!

This new eating clock, which I have adhered to for a whopping one day, feels like the way of the future. The hunger felt between waking and lunchtime is completely manageable. My weight has dropped further, today I was 59.9 kg which is exactly 132 pounds. Down more than 2 kg in 2 days and I have re-found my ribs. Hoping to continue the trend.

***

Wildflower Sorry to hear the going is tough. Thinking about missed goals is always tough - I was "supposed" to be under 125 this week and I am just now hitting 132 on the way down - but it can't be all about numbers, like you said about exercise vs. calorie counting obsession. I hope you find a balance where you can live comfortably soon.

indiblue My window is probably going to be about 8 hours most days. I wasn't aware that it mattered so long as you wait those 14-16 hours. I am averaging 17 hours so far.

kat999 I am eating between about 1-8 pm.

krampus I think the longer the fast the better, because that prolongs the low levels of insulin and other hormones which counter fat-burning. At least that's what I understood? I think that's why some people do daily fasting like we are doing and others do weekly- going 24 hours or so without food, etc. I don't feel the need to take it to that step yet, but if I can keep a fairly small window, I'm going to aim to do so. I think your 17 hour one is ideal.

Thanks for the info, ladies! I may try that but might wait until the weekend. Much easier for me to adjust to something like that when I'm not worried about being too grouchy at work. ;)

wildflower I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it. I too tend to get very overly obsessed with calorie counting (not saying that's how you are just how I am!) And so I have pretty much given up calorie counting in favor of mindful eating. I know it doesn't work for everyone. And In my case,. I crave protein so try to have something in the way of ground turkey, or chicken breast ready to eat so I don't reach for garbage. (And I still do this on occasion.) There are so many other external voices telling us that we're not good enough, that if we just tried harder....don't defeat yourself. The winning is in the process not the goal...*hug*

Also, running. I Love it. Nothing feels better. Yes, the first few days, I too am ravenous but that dies down.

Krampus and indiblue I have tried intermittent fasting, the only issue I have is that I tend to go way overboard with the caloric intake on the days when I'm not fasting. And I'm not talking bad food, just WAY too much food. But, different folks, different strokes! Glad you've found a system that's doable.

I am doing well, working out, eating right, staying away from the scale but feeling very confident and powerful. I think it's totally the power of exercise. Onward!

HI feathers!!

So I am still trucking along with "maintaining" (secretly hoping a slow loss). Argh but I messed up yesterday on calories - bad. Not that what I ate was bad food or from a binge, it was just a lot of calories. By the end of the day I was at 2000 calories (of good food) and then went out with a friend for drinks. When I got home I ate a lot of the Hoison chicken I made earlier in the day. My calories I would estimate went closer to 3000. So to prevent a gain, I think I will try and intuitively keep them at around 1300 the next 3 days by eating my go to "healthy day meals".
Krampus and Indiblue You both have me curious about this fasting business. It doesnt sound like something for me (I literally eat every 2-3 hours), but it seems to be working for yall. So I was thinking maybe incorporating 2 days a week of it. Can you explain it to me? Do you basically just eat 2 very big meals a day? What times? Can you give me an example of 1 day of what you eat?

indiblue question about weight lifting - Well not lifting but toning. I just cant give up my running and I want to make sure the exercise routines I do are ones that I will do the rest of my life. And I know the gym is not a routine I will stick with. That being said, do you think mixing in lunges, squats and pushups during my 2.5 mile runs will help to tone? What are your thoughts on that?

ju5tdoit yay, glad you've stopped in to say hi too. Glad you're doing well :) I totally agree, exercise does so much more for me mentally and emotionally than just burning calories. Love it.

Dianne No worries about the higher calorie day, you'll be fine :) Your plan for lower calorie days sounds great. Just get in your protein, your fruits/veggies and water and I bet you'll be great!

As far as lifting, I am unfortunately not the best person to ask. Strength training is the area of weight loss/health I know least about. I used to know a great deal back in high school when I trained on the soccer team, but my knowledge has definitely eroded over the last few years when I skipped gyms in favor of yoga studios. I totally hear you on not wanting to give up your running- I can't give up cardio either. Now I'm back in gyms more than on the yoga mat and I usually just do 15 minutes of strength/lifting a few times a week after cardio.

I really want to buy "New Rules of Lifting for Women" or a similar book to brush back up on the basics. A trainer gave me some pointers the other day on a tricep move I was doing and I was sore for nearly a week. It's then I realized I really could/should be getting a lot more out of my lifting than I am!

Soooo... this is a weird thing. I don't know why, but I decided to measure my height today. I've always thought I was "essentially" 5'5", because I was above 5'4.5" but not quite at 5'4.75" or so, that I was kind of "cheating up" and rounding to the next full inch. Not really a huge deal, but that is the height on my driver's license, after all. Well, when measuring today, sans shoes and socks of course, I thought I might measure between 5'4" and 5'4.5", since I know that as you age, you do lose a tiny bit of stature.

Except that today I'm 5'3". I've lost over 2 inches in height since high school, which is when I reached my full adult height. I'm 35. I know I'm not a spring chicken, but come ON! I drank my milk and eat broccoli and spinach! I'm not calcium deficient! You guys see me talking about yoga and pilates and running and weight lifting! I've gotten myself fit, if I do say so myself, and any extra pounds I have to lose I've known for months now have been vanity weight. To lose this many inches in HEIGHT is just insane! :?:

I always thought of myself as average height, not super tiny. I guess this isn't really a big deal. If I'd always been 5'3", I would've been fine with that. I'm just kind of freaked out that I'm shrinking vertically instead of just horizontally.

EDITED: Okay, fine. I've adjusted my profile and lowered my goal weight a little. I don't even know what an appropriate goal for this height even is! :(

I waaay overate yesterday, so I won't today. I went to my friend's restaurant for dinner and had a rather decadent dinner putting me at about 1800 calories, which is fine. Then she asked me to go to a sushi restaurant with her at 10:30 pm and I said yes because I was so happy that we were actually getting to spend girl time together. I let my guard down at that point and pretty much had a second full sized dinner - green tea soba noodles with shiitake, egg, ginger and spring onion, whale tail (this is Japan), and the sushi chef treated us to free toro (fatty tuna) that normally goes for $10 PER INDIVIDUAL PIECE and ice cream. Aaaand then I went home and ate the remaining two tofu puddings from my fridge. All in all a bit of a fail. I also smoked a couple cigarettes and feel a bit sh!t today as a result.

Got up and did Tae Bo and 200 crunches before work even though I was out late, because I'm donating 400 mL of blood today. The sick wacko in me is thinking "oh nice, I was up .4 kg on the scale and I'll be giving .4 kg of blood."

Dianne The fasting doesn't really feel like fasting - just like waiting a while before eating. I break it down where I split my calories about equally between lunch and dinner, and maybe I'll have a snack in there somewhere. An example day would be Tuesday.

1:30 pm, lunch: Pasta stir fry with veggies, grapefruit, a couple little cakes, a dumpling, yogurt

7:30 pm, dinner: Leftover peanut butter curry with 300g chicken breast, tofu pudding, orange

Sounds like a lot of people are having a rough time lately. I can't say I am much better either I haven't been to the gym in over the month because I have been sick. I am hoping to go Friday and at least do some light walking on the treadmill and also some ab work. I am trying to get down to 130 by June but with the set backs I have been having I am not sure if it will be possible. Doubting myself isn't going to help either.

The last week of February and first week of March I was sick and on anti-biotics and just starting to feel better last week when I was hit by the flu on Friday. I am now limping along trying to recover from this as well. I think I really need to start focusing on my health at this point because I don't think being this sick in such quick succession is normal.

Do you think losing 20lbs by June is feasible?

kat it sounds like you measured yourself- are you sure it is accurate? I feel like when I do my own measurements they are a bit off because I can't ensure the measure/tool is straight, etc. I would be really surprised if you actually lost inches!

krampus the food sounds really really delicious. It's hard to turn down a chef's offer for free food. Good for you to for getting a TaeBo workout in the AM.

Veela I'm glad you're starting to feel better. I don't know whether or not 20 lbs is doable since you are already within the healthy range. I suppose it depends heavily on how quickly your body is comfortable with shedding vanity pounds (not that there is anything wrong with shedding vanity pounds- I'm doing it right now- just obviously takes longer for the body to burn off). If you really stick closely with a strict plan you may be able to do it

--

Well I just made probably the best meal I ever had and couldn't resist sharing. I had a bunch of fresh vegetables in the fridge so I chopped them up and put a tiny bit of olive oil and salt, mixed. I felt for some reason I wanted to put an egg over them so I made sort of a modified low-fat bibimbap. Cooked about 1/2 c elbow pasta, tossed with soy sauce, squeeze of lime, fish sauce, mirin, and the vegetables. Crumbled a seaweed wrapper over it. Cooked an egg sunny side up and placed it over the whole dish. A few squirts of sriracha.

Tummy and tongue are so happy right now. It's been a terrible last few days for various reasons, so I'm enjoying finding pleasure in the little things right now.

Originally Posted by indiblue:
kat it sounds like you measured yourself- are you sure it is accurate? I feel like when I do my own measurements they are a bit off because I can't ensure the measure/tool is straight, etc. I would be really surprised if you actually lost inches!.

Sadly, I checked it twice and then had my husband measure, too. Either I did indeed lose inches or else I had a skewed idea of my height for 20 years. And both could be true, too.

indiblue That sounds DELICIOUS. Bibimbap is one of the great comfort foods in life and it sounds like your version was extra healthy. Good job!

kat999 If it's any consolation, I thought I was "almost 5'5" for the longest time, but really I'm not quite 5'4 and a half. No matter what, no one will notice except you - try not to stress about it!

***

I was pleased with today. I couldn't do IF with the exact times I wanted to because of the blood drive, but my "window" ended up being ~7 hours (between noon and 7 pm) which isn't bad. Tomorrow might be unpredictable because my mom is scheduled to land at 10 pm in Fukuoka, and I might end up maniacally chomping on something while I wait at the airport or getting late-night noodles with her. We'll see...

Well, I think I am starting to feel a bit better about things. Maybe it's the weather finally warming up but my mood is drastically improved today.

Thank you all for the encouragement and support!!! Still haven't weighed, not sure when I will again. I need to refocus I think and stop obsessing over the scale and just focus on eating healthy and exercising. who knows, maybe with a ton of toning I would be happy with my current weight. I was about 134 the spring before last and I remember being very happy at that weight and with my body, but I was doing crazy amounts of walking and yoga which really were not sustainable for my life in the long term as I was spending my entire evening (from 5-8:15) walking to yoga, taking a 90 minute class, walking to the train, taking it 20 minutes and then walking home. It's suprising just how much time yoga classes seem to take. I love them, but when I am crunched on time I have trouble fitting them into my schedule.

Krampus - Have a great time with your mom! If I remember right, she hasn't seen you at all since you've lost weight, right? Hope you have a great time together.

Indiblue - that's interesting about the intermittent fasting, as I used to pretty much eat that way when I was going to yoga all night. I'd have a normal sized breakast (usually a peanutbutter sandwich, fruit and coffee) and a large lunch out somewhere, then I'd skip dinner - sometimes have some crackers or tea but that would be it. I felt really satisfied eating this way, but I am not sure it helped me lose weight? Although I wasn't calorie counting at the time either.

I am with you on the never feeling full with all those small meals. I would much rather go hungry between meals and be able to eat a good 400-500 calories than snack on these 100 calories peices of fruit, bags of carrots, etc all day long. I never feel full that way.

Veela - So sorry you've been sick, I've come down with quite a few things myself this winter and it really makes for a hard time with weightloss. Take care of yourself and hope you feel better soon!

Kat - really odd about your height, are you sure you are measuring correctly? Was it at the end of the day? I think people are shorter at night from their spine compressing throughout the day. I actually had a similar experience. After being 5' 2'' since the 5th grade, when I was about 27/28 I was at the Dr and was shocked when they told me I was 5' 3''. They told me it can happen from yoga, i guess my spine became decompressed or something. I have no idea, but I've been 5' 3'' now for a few years...that extra inch allows me like 5 extra pounds on the BMI chart, hah.

Wildflower well the thing about IF is it doesn't directly help you lose weight, or it shouldn't at least, because it doesn't require reducing your caloric intake. It helps you burn fat. Since you eat the same amount of food, the caloric intake should be the same, but ideally your body resorts to burning fat when it is in the fasting state. For me it's helping me keep my calories under control (i.e. curbing desire to binge/graze) and ensure a greater percentage are coming from my wholesome meals rather than mindless snacking on popcorn, candy, chocolate, etc. These two byproducts (curbing excessive snacking, ensuring more calories are coming from nutritious sources rather than snacking) ARE helping me lose, but not IF itself.

It also helped me get over what could have been a little plateau. I was between 128-129 for several days and after the first day of IF I woke up to 127.8. I was there for two days and now I'm at 127.6. So I suppose it's also helping me lose since it is shaking my body out of it's normal pattern.

Anyway I'm not an expert, so if you want to learn more I'd definitely consult a more reliable source :D Just did want to throw that out there as an option since your calories and exercise are right on par and you definitely don't want to further reduce your calories.

Also, funny you should mention your yoga schedule. When I lived in the US I also was walking to the yoga studio for a mile, taking a 1 hour 15-30 min class, then walking to the train station, then walking 1 mile from the train station home. I wouldn't get back until 9 or so. I was also on a funny eating pattern then too. I would only eat a fruit smoothie and popcorn for dinner; lunch was my big meal of the day. I wasn't even trying to lose weight, all I wanted was a smoothie and popcorn for some reason. Funny how we get in random routines like that.

So sad this thread is dying!

The last week has been a terrible one for me. I moved across the world to be with my boyfriend and his employer has faltered in every way in assisting in securing me employment (which they are all but required to do). I was offered/accepted a job at that institution and then just last week, after the arrangements were made three months ago and a salary was offered, was told they wouldn't be offering me an American salary as we've been told the past few years, but a local one instead. Basically, they would only pay me less than half of what my predecessor (also a partner/spouse) made for the exact same work.

Rug pulled out from me, HARD CORE. Not only did I quit my job, but I also quit consulting work here in country to begin work. There were other huge mistakes too, the way the whole thing has unfolded, that I won't go into here. They know they screwed up, and I even received a call over the weekend from the highest executive director apologizing. It was a sincere thing to do, and even if it doesn't change things it at least vindicates what happened to us to some degree.

So last week was a mixture of terrible anger, sadness, and panic, because I gave up my career and income to be here and now am left with neither. Have finally gotten to the point where I'm ok with what happened and can now move on emotionally and literally, applying to other jobs. My BF and I may not be able to live together anymore, as I'm looking at jobs in other parts of Asia, but such is life.

Weight loss stalled for a bit because of my own obsession with brownies, but I think I'm back on track. Pretty sure I'm losing inches though, sz 4 express jeans I've had since college that have always given me a muffin top (and as a pear, my waist is the smallest part of me!) now fit very well. Not unlikely that I'll see 126 soon :)

Now, back to job-searching! Onward and upwards....

hi indiblue - i'm a newbie on this part of the site and haven't read any of the rest of it, but just wanted to say i'm really sorry for the way things have happened for you so far.
It must be really tough to have left everything behind.
On the other hand congratulations on being brave enough to do it. It's always easier to turn down opportunities and then think 'what if'.
You've made the change. Your life will always be different as a result.
It sounds glib and everything, but you're obviously at a turning point and have different options, but i'm sure you'll look back in a year or two and be happy that all this happened, because that's what it took to get you to wherever you're going!!
Try to stay positive while things are up in the air, and good luck with the brownies thing.

Oh, indiblue! I'm so sorry about all that! Hang in there! Is the local salary at all livable? What does your boyfriend think? Is he at all tempted to make a job change again since the rug was pulled out from under you? Can you go back to consulting where you are?

I'm fully 118 today, down a half a pound from yesterday, despite going a little over my daily calories, which just goes to prove yet again that it's all about your average "goodness" over the course of a week or so rather than any one particular slip-up (and we're talking a 10-calorie slip, not a huge thing or anything). I've made some new goals for myself and am being really sort of throw-caution-to-the-wind with my April 15th goal to be 115. That's FAST, but if I can keep with the current rate I've been losing, I just might make it. Plus, I'm training for a 5K at the end of April, so I know I'll be getting a lot more cardio-based workouts in here pretty soon.

On a side note, I've been a carb fiend lately, and I just can't help it. Probably because of all the running I've been doing, but partly because even though I know carbs are a little bit of the enemy, they're often generally low-calorie in the short term and they keep my mood and energy up. So, sorry, I'm going to have pasta for lunch (full of veggies, though!) and a snack of a piece of bread with some organic strawberry jam. Honestly, I think carbs have been far too demonized. Yes, when I'm in maintenance mode I will eat with macronutrients in mind, but when I'm in a phase of just looking at calories in, calories out you get more bang for your buck with integrating a few more carbs in.

indiblue I'm so sorry things have taken such a terrible turn; it's so much stress all of a sudden. I really hope something can be worked out where you don't have to entirely compromise what you want. Perhaps a surprise golden opportunity will pop up? I don't know, dumb optimism is dumb but sometimes miracles happen. Wishing you all the best.

kat999 118, amazing! I agree that carbs are way demonized, just like how breakfast is overglorified. It sounds like your diet now is working great for you. Good luck hitting 115!

***

Just ducking in to update quickly. Am still alive. Stressed to the max having mom here, I wasn't prepared at all to deal with how much work goes into living for two people as she can't read or speak Japanese and since this is her first time in Asia, everything is new. She doesn't like any seafood or raw meat or meat with fat on it and eats like 1000 calories a day normally so I just hear "this is sooo much food" after every meal. I haven't been handling the stress so well, it translates into me fussing over her like a mother hen and her getting mad about that. Also, I am not getting much exercise in since she is a bit elderly and needs to walk pretty slowly.

Unsurprisingly, coupled with my persistent foot injuries (both feet, can barely walk without pain), this all translates to surefire weight gain and an "I don't care I don't care I don't care" attitude. I can feel myself expanding; my hipbones have disappeared.

ange, kat, krampus thanks for your kind support! I'm most "over" what happened, though I was talking with my bf last night about it and got emotional again, but for the most part looking only forward. It's just *panic mode* that sets in when you are halfway across the world and suddenly unemployed. I've gotten 6 resumes out for jobs both in Asia and back in the US with many more planned, so fingers crossed for the next few weeks...

I turned down the job, because of the way I was treated, the awful salary (I can make more in the local economy of any nearby developing country), and it didn't offer me much professionally. My bf isn't able to quit his job... he has 3 more years on his "contract" so to speak. Even then it's likely he'll stay, he's basically in an army-like career- not in the sense that it is defense but that it's a career commitment. Eventually he might leave for my sake, but that's down the road. And krampus no dumb optimism is what I'm holding on to now- the job I was supposed to take isn't in my line of work, so I keep reminding myself whatever I find will be better in some way, professionally, financially, etc. It just may mean my bf and I are in different places for a while.

I was worried I would seriously regret turning this down but all I've thought recently is that anything I come across will be better, likely MUCH better. This was a job I was settling for, so it could be this opens up really good opportunities I wouldn't otherwise pursue.

Anyway, so thank you guys :)

ange thanks for the brownie comment, that totally cracked me up!!
kat 10 cal? haha I don't even worry about a 100 cal slip up. Anyway good to know you are at 118!! 115 by April 15 is very doable. I agree carbs have been demonized, I really don't see the problem in eating a banana, whole wheat high protein pasta, and a homemade oatmeal bran muffin in one day. Especially if you are running! That's all I crave when I'm running.
krampus I hope amidst the craziness and stress of your mom being there (and I totally get it, my parents have never traveled outside the US and going to Washington, D.C. was stressful enough for them) you're able to enjoy yourself. I hate not being able to exercise, but at least maybe this gives you foot a break? Or perhaps you are doing so much walking it's not helping I don't know. Anyway hope the rest of the trip is a bit smoother sailing and you're able to relax and enjoy as much as you can.

I agree also that carbs are pidgeonholed as baddies and breakfast is too far in the opposite corner. The other big fib as far as i'm concerned is that exercise helps with weight loss. Yes most people should do more, yes it makes you healthier, feel better etc etc, but lose weight? Not for me - i get the opposite. The more i exercise the hungrier i get. Sigh

Krampus - good luck with the rest of your mums visit. I'm currently a bit aprehensive about an imminent invasion by the in-laws from UK. We've got sister, brother in law, 3 kids and mother arriving next week for 3 weeks. Eeeek!

Hi Everyone - I'm still alive too, just been tied up with school, work and all that. A person in our social circle's father passed away last week as well, so things have been a bit thrown off from that. Very sad.

I've been able to start back up running again, made it to the gym last Tuesday/Thursday for 20 minute runs over lunch, and this week stepped it up Monday to 25 mins and Wednesday I ran outside for about 30 (I get stopped at lights so I tried to extend the time a bit).

Diet has been okay...not perfect though. I haven't weighed myself in a few days, and I haven't been keeping really low. You may remember I felt starved at 1300 calories and wasn't losing so I upped to 1500. Over the weekend I kinda just ate whatever - including tons of cookies on Sunday. We had the wake/funeral thrown in there which shouldn't be an excuse to eat poorly, but became a "let's eat bagels in the car so we have some dinner" situation. I think I will weigh next on Sunday, I don't know. I've been absolutely dreaming of binge eating, which is bizzarre. I never thought of myself as a binge eater, but I suppose that's the same as "pigging out" with friends which I used to do quite often, but it's been at least 3 or 4 years since I've been like that. But lately all I think about is buying cheetos and cupcakes and dips and pizza and spending the evening cramming food down my throat and it just sounds amazing, although I'm not really sure how I feel about all this. I've always been the healthy vegetarian type who ate fruits and veggies because I liked them, so for me to crave junk food is unusual.

Indiblue - I am so sorry the job opportunity fell through. I hope you can find something soon that's in the current city so you and your boyfriend can stay together.

kat999 - wow, you are doing great girl!!! 115 is awesome and sounds very do-able for you. What program are you following for the 5k? I'm always interested in running programs. I would love to train for a 1/2 marathon, but sometimes I feel like I love thinking and talking about running more than actually going out and doing it. Ha.

Krampus - glad your mom arrived safely and that you get to spend time with her but i totally understand being overwhelmed to be constantly around her, especially because she doesn't speak the language, know her way around, etc. I hope you are able to make a little time to get some exercise in with her around...

ange totally agree with the breakfast and exercise statements you made. I love exercising (most of the time...) but it doesn't help as much as people think with weight loss. There was an awesome NYT article about it recently that I have probably posted a million times on 3FC. Exercise is so important for so many reasons, but it's not the golden ticket to weight loss.

Wildflower I'm glad you are still alive! I'm still thinking about you and your plateau and was wondering how's it going. I have been doing a good deal of research on "diet breaks" and resetting the metabolism, which I always thought were just buzzwords, but apparently have a good deal of truth behind them. Perhaps "gaining to lose," or upping the calories a bit for a while will be good in the long run and you really can have those pizzas and cupcakes you've been dreaming about :). Let us know how things are going.

--

I'm in hardcore job search mode right now, which I hate. I keep trying to not think about how perfect my old job in the US was (it really was my dream job in a lot of ways, though had some serious personnel problems, as with everything hindsight is always seen with rose-colored lenses). I feel like I'm in major limbo right now, as I have no idea where I'll end up- Asia? The US? Am not looking at jobs in Europe now though if nothing pans out in the next few weeks it may come on my radar...

Got a major haircut today, which despite the hairdresser's not following my instructions, turned out pretty good. I think I had a good 8 inches cut off! I think I really needed it after being in such a rut the last week and a half. Can never underestimate the impact of *feeling* good and pampering oneself on the sense of emotional well-being.

wow indiblue - 8" off the hair sounds pretty dramatic! I'm getting mine cut in the morning but hoping i'll just come back with a minor trim....
Australia's a nice place to get a job!! What was your old job in US?

Right, i signed up today for a half marathon on Sunday, so now i'm in preparation mode and trying to drink lots of water and eat extra-sensibly. I've not run that far for a couple of years and am just using it as a slow 'training run' for the PROPER half marathon i'm aiming for in May, and to see whether i can run that far!

Hey Indiblue -

Yeah, still alive and still maintaining my weight, despite being hungry and feeling like I am dieting on 1300-1500 a day - no weight loss for months means I am in maintence. It's discouraging, and it's getting to me. I've been dieting since September - all was great at first, I don't know what happened other than I hit some kinda plateau pretty quickly.

But restricting for the last 7 months (and only losing 14 lbs) is taking a toll on me. Yes, I've taken breaks in there, but I don't know, as I said before, all I want to do is eat lately. Where as before, yes I was hungry, I didn't have the cravings I do now. The cravings are awful, and the biggest craving I have is just to have that feeling of being really full. I just want to feel it for a few hours.

Ate a good 370 calorie breakfast today that made me feel stuffed to see if I can counter act some of the hungry feelings.

It might help if this frigid weather would please go away for good. I am so sick of the cold and I know that weighs on everyone's spirits.

Indiblue - 8 inches is a huge haircut! Will you show us pictures?!?! :)

Good luck on the job search. What type of work are you in, if you don't mind me asking? Sounds interesting as it translates all over the world. Good luck with the job search and try not to be too stressed over it (easier said than done, i know).

Originally Posted by Wildflower:
The cravings are awful, and the biggest craving I have is just to have that feeling of being really full. I just want to feel it for a few hours.

That's what I've really enjoyed about IF. Eating 400-600 cal lunches/8000 cal dinners has been amazing. I feel like I can eat a full serving of something really delicious and have room for a treat if I want. Not eating for most of the day has been fine, and it's certainly been more than made up for by the large, satisfying dinners I've gotten. I promise it's the last time I'll suggest IF for you, but I did want to mention that.

I'm super nervous about posting a pic of my face in case someone IRL sees it, but perhaps I'll summon the courage to do so. I definitely at some point will post a progress pic of my body at least!

I'm in international democracy/rule of law/human rights work. Eep, nervous about posting that online too but I do need to get over the fact that someone could figure out who I am. Anyway yes it translates to working anywhere in the world, if I can get work permits, as I can work in donor countries (US, for example) at headquarters, or developing/conflict countries (field offices, local organizations).

I think I've sent out 10 applications in the last week, so fingers crossed I'll start hearing back about something in the next few weeks...

Here is my final weigh-in results before I leave for my honeymoon this afternoon:
121! I am pleased as punch, only 2 pounds away from being in the teens! Yay! I hope to come back from my adventure a pound lighter, but of course that will NOT be my focus this week!

Happy spring, everyone!