I wanted to report an NSV. I am a teacher and each year we take class pictures, which usually involve me having a major wardrobe crisis, a bad hair day, a zit, and a photographer who says "tuck you chin...tuck it some more. Ok...say CHEESE" and I am left with several chins to compliment my hot mess.

Not this year! I am 12 lbs. lighter than in last year's pic, and even with the tucked chin, I have only one in the picture! My waist looks teeny. I am thrilled! Usually class pictures is the time of year that I have a depressing wake up call, hop on the scale and discover that I gained 15 pounds since September.

I am proud of myself this year. I am the lightest I have been in years. The only problem is my skinny jeans that I used to tuck in my boots are now too baggy so I guess I need to go shopping!

kwinkle, that's awesome! I had a similar victory late last year. There are always pictures taken from Halloween through New Year's at various holiday parties. Holiday time in 2009 was fraught with bad pictures of me where I looked happy but more than a little doughy. This Halloween, not only was I no longer doughy, but because I KNEW I wasn't, I looked even happier! Woo for not hating pictures anymore!

And hey, nothing wrong with needing to go shopping. That's half the fun of losing weight. "Oh, but it's not just clothes shopping for FUN, dear. All my clothes are far too big!" ;)

Yay kwinkle!!! It's hard sometimes to tell in photos when we as feathers lose weight, because changes are often subtle, but you've made terrific progress so congratulations! Having to buy new skinny jeans is a great problem to have :-D

kat glad to hear you've had some good similar experience with taking photos too!

ju5tdoit yes, those have been my experiences as well! The worst thing is that not only- here at least, i'm in AP- do people laugh when you run but guys can't handle it. Where I am is extremely conservative and seeing a girl in anything tighter than a tent (i.e. workout clothes, even loose ones) is a rare thing that they surely take advantage of. Cat calls, staring, even grabbing, are commonplace and acceptable in the culture. Seeing a girl running or walking outside for exercise... well that is just even more invitation to "Eve tease."

There were about 30 women- all upper class, wealthy- in my yoga class, and I'd say only 8 were within a normal weight range for their height and 1 was "thin".

The two big positives for weight loss are definitely fresh, cheap veggies all the time (totally agree on that), and having a housekeeper. As weird as it is to have a housekeeper, it's par for the course here so you might as well use it to your best advantage. I ask ours to wash and cut vegetables, keeps peeled garlic on hand, etc. It makes preparing meals a lot more inviting. For those two reasons I'm quite grateful!

ju5tdoit, do you eat lettuce/spinach in India? So many people don't and advise not to because of e-coli issues. I do, I just wash my lettuce/spinach extremely well. I know it's taking a risk but I would die without fresh salads.

Also, it's helpful and a source of support to hear someone else's experiences in India so thank you for sharing them with me :)
---

In other news, 128.8 today!!!!! TALK ABOUT A WHOOSH!!! So motivated to work out and eat super on-plan again today.

Hi all, hope you're doing well.

I haven't weighed today, thinking about weighing once or twice a week because I get so obsessed by the numbers. I ate a ton yesterday because of the buffet but I'm back on plan (mostly) today and have gotten in decent exercise. I've been having a tough time with relationship stuff but I haven't been eating my feelings or wanting to binge, which is pretty cool. Went a bit crazy on a box of Reeses Puffs with my bf earlier today so dinner is 2 small cucumbers sliced and plated, a zero calorie jelly, and tons and tons of tea.

kwinkle I love photographs post weight loss too. Congratulations! I love clothes shopping, esp. for teeny sizes!

Changed As far as I'm concerned, holding on is a heck of a lot better than letting go completely! Kudos on making positive changes again! I look forward to getting to know you!

krampus 2 cucumbers sliced! I admire your resolve!

indiblue I do not eat any type of salad in India. My "diet" conists of trying to eat only one serving of food, avoiding dessert and upping my fruit intake. Never works. Weight is ALWAYS gained. :(

Ok. So. I've been watching some pilates videos on youtube and am going to try some out as soon as I log off. We had a get together on Saturday but the eating was still level and I workd out. Sunday was my rest day and I lazed around with the children. It was utter bliss! Today, back to working out..I'm doing weights and cardio today....am going to try to split up the upper body and lower body weights again. Doing the entire body takes TOO much time. I think the entire body I'll save for next Sunday and make Saturday my rest day.

Hope you all are doing well this Monday morning!

Argh, I'm feeling frustrated. I've been diligently counting calories and working out like mad, even though I'm not sticking to any one particular diet plan right now (other than, again, just counting calories with a goal of 1# loss/week), and I've realized I only lost 0.5 # this past week and am still experiencing plateaus that last between 3 and 6 days. This is so frustrating. I went back through old spreadsheets where I've been logging my weight for over a decade, and five years ago when I got married I was 117. I'm only about 3 lbs. above that; it's so close I can feel it and yet the scale WON'T MOVE. I was having success with going with vegan, pre-packaged foods recently, but I found that wasn't sustainable for longer than 2 weeks just due to the monotony of it, and it was a fairly restrictive daily calorie allotment. I have to go back to 1000 calories a day? Is that it? I just... that's so few! But apparently 1300 is too much for me right now. *sigh*

kat I think you're going through a really normal weight loss process. .5 lbs a week is really good considering you are well within the range of healthy for your size and weight. As your weight gets closer to goal the body is more and more resistant to lose each little ounce, since you're already at a good size. I'm close to my normal adult weight (127), and am expecting to only lose between 1-3 lbs a month for a while. Keep doing what you're doing because it's obviously working. It's just that the new definition of success this close to goal may be 1- .5 lbs a week staying at the same weight for 3-6 days before the next drop.

(this is coming from someone who also complains when I plateau for a few days too, but it's easier to be rational when it's someone else right? ;))

ju5tdoit I'm too stubborn to give up salads, even though I know I'm taking a risk. Slowly learning how to lose weight in India, but it definitely involves not eating more than 1-2 homecooked Indian meals at other peoples' homes, which is difficult to do when you're visiting family for a week or two in Nagpur!

krampus glad to hear binging cravings have subsided! What kind of tea do you drink?

--

About to head out to an event tonight where there will definitely be finger food (ju5tdoit, including khandvi, which I could eat pounds of at a time). I'm at about 660 for the day right now so I should have some buffer. Still, as a grazer, finger food at parties/events are my absolute worst trigger so I'm hoping I can keep things under control.

Good luck indiblue - I blew off a conversation class tonight just so I wouldn't be tempted by the usual array of snacks. Finger food free for alls are the ultimate test of control.

kat999 .5 lbs a week is still a loss! You're so light now I don't think 2 lbs a week is really feasible at this point.

***

I had a good day. TOM came as a result of going off BC pills and my appetite is just like, halved. It's really bizarre. I wonder if this will be my normal state? The constant need to peck at things and eat is gone. I didn't have a "formal" workout but I walked a lot at a very chop-chop sort of pace. I walked right to the cheap clothing store from work and managed to get a jacket, cardigan, scarf, and pants for work - for a total of less than ¥5000! I feel pretty darn accomplished getting all that for under fifty bucks.

Good morning Feathers!

Is it weird that I actually don't mind Mondays anymore because of dieting? It makes me feel like , yes, back to normal routine and on schedule/plan. Sometimes it feels good to be structured when you go off on the weekends.

Indiblue and Ju5doit I am shocked that being "healthy" and living a healthy lifestyle is almost frowned upon where you live. How do you both stay motivated when you are surrounded by people who don't agree?

Krampus Awesome job on the .5 loss and bargain deal!!

So I went off horribly on Saturday. Guestimated about 3500 calories for the day. But I didnt let it bring me down. I jumped right back onto eating healthy Sunday. Also, I had a NSV with some friends at the beach (and even strangers). One of the girls that was with us (who is average sized) didnt want to stand next to me in the pictures because she thought I would make her look fat! I was absolutely shocked! I admit my stomach is smaller than most, but my legs and butt are not! It shocks me when people make comments like that but I love it. Feels so good. Also, I kept getting tons of compliments from strangers on my bathing suit. It was such a nice day in the compliment department. I loved it. Made me even more motivated to keep at my healthy lifestyle. I just feel better when I am healthier :)

As you all know, I have decided to stop dieting and trying to lose weight and am just intuitively living a healthy lifestyle. I have decided to take Kat99's advice and just set goals rather than set plans with lots of restrictions. That being said, my two goals for every week is this:

1. 3 days stay at 1100 calories - the other 4 days, just intuitively eat healthy
2. Run 5 days a week

Lets hope I can do this the rest of my life :)

Hope everyone is doing well!

Thanks for the support, ladies. Rationally, I know I'm still losing and that being in a good range already means these last 5 lbs. will come off slowly. I'm going to just hunker down for another week, keep doing what I'm doing, and then if I still feel like I need to adjust something, I'll adjust my exercise rather than my food. I simply know rationally I can't sustain long-term eating habits at below my current intake level, nor should I to stay healthy. :)

Good attitude, kat! I know it's so difficult when you don't have that frequent instant feedback of the decreasing scale to keep you motivated. I'm totally down with you. You have such a good attitude and healthy approach- hunkering down and committing for the long term rather than dropping your cals too low. Who knows, maybe you'll get a sweet whoosh at some point. Either way you're doing great so keep it up!

Dianne I guess it's a combination of lack of awareness about health issues (although diabetes is getting a lot of attention in India these days) and cultural issues (women not being encouraged or taught how to exercise) that makes it difficult. I unfortunately eat the majority of my meals at home so I can stay healthy and lose weight, which I regret because living here is such a great opportunity to eat new food all the time. As a foodie it's hard to say no to trying a new unique Indian restaurant with friends and opt for an American salad in my kitchen, but for my health I have to do it. Hopefully once I get the weight a little more under control I'll have some leeway, but for now I have to keep things tightly controlled :-/

Congrats on all the wonderful comments you've been getting! I'm sure you look terrific. Good for you for moving on after a splurge day. Your plan sounds terrific and you seem to be setting yourself up for success. Good luck!

Krampus congrats on both the BC victories and shopping finds! What a great day you had. I would looooove to get off my BC. I at least need to look at lower hormone options. I'd love to experience the effects you're seeing just a couple of days off it... hope things continue to improve.

--

Well I made it through the event without going crazy! I had a ton of carrots and cucumbers with yogurt dip, 2 diet cokes (just to keep me from the wine), 2 really small baked samosas (like savory pastries), 1 pakora (tiny fried vegetable thing), and 1/3 piece of cake (only because a high-level person offered me a slice and then talked with me for a few minutes.. had to be polite. As soon as I could escape I left and gave it to my BF to finish).

Anyway, all in all about 500 as a conservative estimate, which is about what I budgeted in my daily calorie count.

Tonight was much easier than I thought- I feel so much more in control of my eating than I did just two months ago before I started working to lose this weight. I don't think I've eaten mindlessly once since then. I almost went crazy on a bag of chips this afternoon but had about 3 and then went for a small handful of cornflakes instead. I just feel I've worked so hard to get to where I am and I really don't want to ever do this again. Hopefully I can keep this up for the long-haul, because it will take quite a while to get where I want to be.

Thank you all for your continued support, definitely couldn't be doing this without all of you as inspiration and motivation! :hug:

Dianne! I do not live in India. I don't think I would have an easy job of losing weight if I were there. The thing is that since the home cooked food is healthy, the disconnect in India comes...it's all wholesome food. But what people forget is that even wholesome food leads to weightgain if you eat too much of it.

:(

I have had a good day. Lower body weights and cardio! I love the gym and am fast becoming a gym rat! And i love that!

Scale has moved down again. I had a strange graze in my bed at midnight (???) but clearly not enough to harm anything. I'm pretty annoyed though that my Achilles tendon has started creaking and cracking and it's too painful to wear normal shoes. Love that I'm getting punished for not being a couch potato, I really do. Not.

***

Dianne I feel the same way about Mondays! As you know I'm a weekend cheater and trying to pare down my cheat days to one per week. Congrats on the beach NSVs! Let's trade - I have to wear pants with flaps on the pockets to even look like someone pretending to have a butt, but I could probably smother an entire village in my stomach fat. /hyperbole

ju5tdoit Gym is one of the better addictions one can have. Glad you're in a good groove!

indiblue Thanks! Being off BC so far is okay but I have noticed my skin is getting less clear and since TOM has started it's twice as heavy. :( Awesome job on handling the party gracefully. That takes a ton of restraint!

kat999 Glad you're not going to cut calories to 1000, that would be a miserable existence.

Haven't been around too much the past few days but I am taking a break from writing papers and thought I would chime in.

All was going well for me in weight loss last week...but the last few days I've been starving and eating way more than I should. Stress has definatly kicked in for me, which might be contributing. My day job has me leading a high profile, tight time frame project (which I love), and at the same time my grad school classes have kicked up and I have 3 papers due and a presentation all on Mon/Tues of this week.

One of the worst things about business school I've been suprised by, is that they don't actually tell you what these assignments are until right before they are due, therefore you are always playing "catch up" trying to get them done on time. I'm stressing big time this past week.

In combination with this, my remaining free time is being spent wedding planning. Something that apparently most find enjoyable, yet I find torturous because at the end of the day I want to go to bed, not argue with my future mother in law about how her cousins we've never met don't need to come to our small intimate wedding.

I keep telling myself that if I can run huge projects at work, a wedding is no comparison. Except unlike work, I don't have someone else's check book to play with here (other than my parents, which doesn't really compare to my fortune 100 company's) and also unlike work, family is not nearly as civil when they disagree with you.

Just had to take a paper break and rant. Seems like everyone is doing great. I'm trying to keep my head above water at the moment. My planned evening run was sadly off the table due to the realization that I am going to be up all night finalizing one of my papers. Sigh. And tomorrow night I will be in class, so maybe Wednesday night I'll make it out for one. One day at a time, right?

On a positive note...only 14 weeks left of school until summer break. :) Hoping to be at my goal weight by then....but I have 13 more lbs and that would mean losing a pound a week. Probably not going to happen. I am more like a pound a month girl.

krampus glad you're in a loss-groove these days! What a great feeling to see losses consistently. Good luck with battling life post BC. It sounds like the trade-offs will be worth it.

Wildflower it's nice to see you back! It sounds like life is so crazy right now, but for all very good reasons. Way to kick butt at work and get handed an important project AND be in grad school right now. I don't know the stress of wedding planning but I hope amidst all the opinions and personalities of family members you're able to enjoy yourself a bit. You have probably mentioned this, but when is the big day?
--

I wasn't able to get an accurate scale reading this morning- acid reflux prompted me to guzzle water when I woke up, then I weighed, then my body decided it was ready to do the usual morning restroom trip, etc. But, signs are promising that I'm still well within 128 and hopefully moving down. I'll be so elated when I see my pre-India weight of 127. That means a) HAIRCUT!!!! that I am DYING FOR!!!! and b) time to move into unchartered territory of the mid and low 120s! Looking forward so much to seeing what my body looks like at these weights.

There has been a trainer in the gym in our apt complex who has given me lifting pointers whenever he sees me. He does weight training for a group of women 3x a week. He charges a ton but I'm going to try to see if I can get a discount and only go once a week. Just a few minutes with him modifying my workout and my arms are completely dead. It would be great to really get my lifting back in good shape. I didn't realize how much I have forgotten since my high school soccer team training days...

Hi Indiblue,

I didn't mention a date because everything is not finalized with the venue/officient. But it seems brides set a date before they know if that date is even feasible? Seems backwards to me, but if that's the case my date is October 16th. :)

Happy Tuesday!!

Katt You have one of the best attitudes with weight loss - that alone will give you success!! You can do it - last 5 pounds! :carrot:

Indiblue Congrats on staying in moderation at your event. I KNOW thats such a challenge. Does it feel good to conquor something so difficult? And now you are moving on down the 120's. I am SO envious! :o

Krampus You are remarkable with how fast you lose weight. Are you still doing your "lax" calorie plan? I remember you saying you wanted to take a break from counting calories. Are you still doing that and losing weight?

Wildflow I can relate to stress eating all too well. I believe thats what causes my binges. Thats why I have decided to take a break from "dieting" and just simply living a healthy lifestyle..

Its annoying. I am intuitvely eating healthy and not counting calories but i find myself still subconsiously adding up the calories and macronutrients in my head! Its so frustrating!! Oh well..life is SO much less stressful knowing I can have what i want to eat (in moderation and healthy of course). Its amazing how much pressure I put on myself when it comes to losing weight.

On a happy note, a friend of mine posted beach pictures! I saw one that i actually wasnt horrified by! The only thing that really bothers me by the pic is that I look wider than all the other girls. But thats so annoying becuase my bone structure isnt bigger - well so I thought! I believe I wear a smaller size than most of them but I just look so much wider and bigger boned than them in pics :/ Otherwise, I can live with the pic.. Ill attach it!

Dianne - You didn't say which one you are in the picture, but i can honestly say that all of you look FANTASTIC!!!

Your group must have had constant male attention on that beach!!!

Aww thanks Wildflower!! lol no, not constant attention. My friends are beautiful though!!

Oopss..I am the one on the far right

Dianne, you have a DREAM BODY! O_O I'm like, seriously overcome with jealousy. I look absolutely nothing like that in a swimsuit and I don't think I ever will. You should be proud of yourself! Also for what it's worth you all look about the same to me, no one looks "wider" than anyone else.

*sigh* Scale bounced up over a pound today despite my feeling pretty good about myself. One of those "dammit I wish I hadn't weighed" days. I'll tell myself it's because of TOM or constipation or the salt and richness in the sauce in my dinner.

Wildflower how exciting! I love fall weddings- autumn is the most romantic time of year in my opinion.

Dianne yowzah go girl! You have a gorgeous shape and beautiful flat tummy. And lovely skin tone! I'm so pale right now so I'm definitely jealous. To be honest I couldn't really tell a difference between the "wideness" of you and your friends.

krampus That's annoying, BUT it seems to fit with your weight loss pattern, in that your body absorbs and then lets go of weight very quickly. So a pound that may take me a few days to gain and then a week to lose would arrive and disappear within 24 hours for you, it seems. Not to say it still isn't discouraging, but just to say I'm going to bet tomorrow a pound (or more) will be missing from your body. Glad you feel good today!

--
128.4 today! Hoping to see 127 by this weekend- perhaps Friday? I'm eating out tonight, which I've learned over the past month is my kryptonite. Not that I start pigging out, but that regardless of what I eat, unless it's salad which is basically nonexistent here, I will gain. Weight loss progress is fine when it's all done in my house by food I have prepared. Once someone else has any sort of impact on my food intake, it's downhill. We'll see what happens tonight :-/

OMG YOU GUYS! My eating and exercise the past two days was kind of out the window and yet that last little half pound putting me over 120 is GONE this morning!!!!!

I HAVE NOT BEEN 120 POUNDS IN LIKE FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!

:carrot::carrot::carrot:

YAY KAT YAY!!!! What an awesome feeling!!! Go girl, keep it up! Marching all the way to 115! We'll miss you in the 120s thread but hope to see you in a bit in the teens one ^_^

Big hugs for your success!

CONGRATULATIONS KAT!!!!!! That's so exciting!

HAPPY ASH WEDNESDAY!!

Thank you all for the nice compliments. It's so weird. I am not kidding, I HONESTLY do not see what you all see at all. Its not miserable to look at anymore but I just simply can't agree with you all. But its ok. I like my new healthy lifestyle!

Kat OMG!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh to be at 120. So freaking exciting!!

Krampus OH if I had a dollar for everytime I had one of those "oh crap wish I didnt weigh today" days.

Indiblue The bathing suit is deceiving lol It makes you look tan ;) They are called China Doll bathing suits!! Check them out! HOw did you do last night with the eating??

Ive decided to weigh myself once a month. I just want to out of curiousity to see if my healthy lifestyle still creates a loss.

Is it bad if I pick something for Ash Wednesday that I secretly hope benefits me? Like, I am thinking of picking not binging for the 40 days. But I am picking that because one, its a challege, and two I hope it helps to lose some weight? hah

Have a great day feathers!!

[QUOTE=krampus;3749134]Dianne, you have a DREAM BODY! O_O I'm like, seriously overcome with jealousy. I look absolutely nothing like that in a swimsuit and I don't think I ever will. You should be proud of yourself! Also for what it's worth you all look about the same to me, no one looks "wider" than anyone else.QUOTE]

This is such a nice thing to say. Thank you! I really appreciate it!

Thanks, ladies! I'm totally flying high today. As I said in another thread earlier, it really must just be about weekly average of "goodness" that predicts falling off a plateau at last rather than one "bad" day or "good" day. DH was a healthy fella yesterday and gained a pound, whereas I was naughty and lost my half pound. You just never know.

Oh, and I've apparently got him counting calories now. I never told him he needed to get healthy, but apparently my good example is rubbing off on him and he's started working out and tracking his food. I'm proud of him. I want to keep a happy, healthy hubby for many years to come! :D

Just turned in my senior thesis. !!!

Definitely didn't track my calories or eat well at all over the past couple of days. No binging, just eating whatever I wanted -- which was a lot, probably 2000 calories a day. Anyway, I'm up almost 3 lbs from HOPEFULLY water retention and looking forward to working it off soon!

Haven't slept in ages but before I crash tonight, I'm going for a run in the workout clothes that just arrived in the mail.

YAAAAAY congrats on getting the thesis done lackadaisy! 2000/day isn't so bad, that'll be off in a week with workouts and tracking. If I ate "whatever I wanted" it would be well above 3000. You're lucky you have a small appetite.

Dianne: Awesome picture! You look great!

That's a really smart idea. You inspired me to try it and I feel a lot saner. I was getting way too caught up -- weighing 5 or 6 times a day or more. :/ Once or twice a week is good enough -- seriously, how much is weight going to change in a week, anyway?

fivestone, 116.8, wow! You're just disappearing into thin air. I was wondering how you're doing.

Krampus -- It will take a week?! :o I didn't expect it to take that long!! It's only... 1600 more than I usually eat, 300 more than maintenance, right?! Concerned... I'm down to 123.0 this evening, which was a nice surprise. Hopefully the extra water from salt/carbs will have gone away by tomorrow morning. Also, that PW that never happened... any day now...

In any case, I want to start P90x after spring break next week. I'm really excited about this. Trying to spend more time on a mix of running, lifting, and calisthenics/yoga before then.

Dianne I think the most virtuous way is supposedly giving up something that doesn't personally benefit you, but this is coming from someone who hasn't been to church in yearssssss so I am definitely not one to say what is good or bad to pick for lent haha!

kat You're right about the week-versus-day mentality. Good to hear you're still doing awesome and your habits are rubbing off on your husband. Way to set a good example!

lackadaisy Congratulations!!! PHEW what a great feeling! And then to be rewarded by workout clothes- how fun. You should lose the 3 lbs quite quickly- I feel that when I gain quickly due to vacation or whatnot it slides off quickly too. Where are you and your friends headed for spring break?

Were almost there ladies - Friday is peeking it's head right around the corner :p

Kat That is AWESOME that you have motivated your husband to live a healthier lifestyle. I really understand how much that means. I used to date a guy who was dead opposite of me. Messy, unhealthy eater, didnt exercise, horrible with responibilities, etc. and trying to get him to eat healthy was like pulling teeth. But because I loved him , I kept trying and it would irritate me so much when he ate bad - almost as if he was doing it to my body! Anyways, I think thats awesome you were such an inspiration to him! Success in itself ;)

Lackadaisy ahhhhh doesnt that feel much better having that thesis done! Good job! As for your 2000 calorie day, I by NO means think it will take long at all to get back. A day at most - in my opinion. I am curious as to why you think you can only eat 1600 for maintenance. The average women's TDEE is around 2050. Why do you think you are 400 below that?

Fivestone PLEASE tell me your secret! 116?! How does it feel to be that weight?! Im envioussssssss

Indiblue I belong to a nondenomination church that I attend every Monday. I am not catholic but they honor most traditions for catholics. This would be the first year I have chosen to participate in lent. I figure overeating is gluttony and a sin so what better thing to give up? :D I LOVE my church. They had Nick Vujicic come in this past weekend/Monday to speak and WHAT an inspirational service it was. Honestly, if he can live his life content, happy and peaceful without any arms or legs, I certainly can live my life content and happy as well (extra 5 pounds and all) :) We sometimes forget how blessed we are!

I am really loving this new attitude on dieting that I have adopted. Not obsessing and counting/tracking every calorie is so much less stress. Allowing myself wine and treats when I want just relieves so much stress - shows me how much pressure I was really putting on myself! I think I am going to incorporate lunges, squats and pushups during my daily 2.5 run. I really want to gain some muscle mass! Also, I have gained the benefit of learning to cook because of this new lifestyle. I find myself wanting to cook so that way I can have tasty meals and it still be healthy! Just last night I made Hoison Chicken (AMAZING!!) and my own creation of Chicken Parmsean :p

Ok Im done rambling! Work is slow at the end of the week so Ill be on here all day I'm sure :dizzy:

Toodles!

I don't know if it's a secret :D, but I think my activity level has been increasing a bit (leveled out this week when I wasn't feeling well, but I'm feeling better again.) I'm just so happy that it's getting warmer around here and that most of the snow has disappeared, at least down in the valley. So I'm running around here and there more, 'ah, don't need to drive to the Post, it's such a nice day to run there!' sort of thing. I've also incorporated intervals more into what I'm doing... and a tonne more pushups and things. Maybe my metabolism has gone up some? Who knows.

Also, I think I'm inadvertantly eating less. I have really starting falling in love with salads lately (no worries, I still like my junk, just don't get as much of it). Loooove putting bell peppers (especially yellow and red) and tomatoes and cucumbers and lettuce and sometimes a bit of feta cheese...nom. I tend to prefer it without dressing, even, just with salt and pepper.

I'm going to want to stop losing pretty soon, though... I think at 110 I want to work on maintaining, perhaps even gaining a little once I get into a routine. But I don't mind gaining up from 110... I *do* mind gaining up from here, though. But I'll push as far as I can without going overboard, and gain up from there.

In a couple of months it'll have been a year since I started all this up. I hope that within the next few months I can settle into a maintenance plan that I can carry on indefinitely!

Well, yesterday I crossed a line I never thought I'd cross. I had my first ever "no holds barred" binge and basically spent my evening shoveling everything from the drugstore/7-11 that looked even remotely good into my face, and then ordered in a personal pizza after I felt sick from too much cream/custard/sugar.

It felt like a drug, like a total break from life, and now that I've done it I know I can never un-know how it made me feel and have to be extra vigilant. It would be so easy to just completely let myself go and accept binging as part of who I am, but I know that it is just impossible to eat that much and not become very overweight. I am young but I am not an Olympic swimmer or weightlifter. If I keep doing this, I'll gain back all the weight I lost, and it will only take a month or two.

It took me 7 months to lose it. 7 months of forcing myself to run outside in 35 C 100% humidity at "fat smoker" fitness level. 7 months of commitment to reasonable portions and learning to eat my vegetables. 7 months of feeling excited and confident and optimistic. I'll never forget how it felt to jump on the scale on my birthday and seeing that I weighed 56.1 kg - my lowest weight to date. I can't let myself forget how great it feels to see the scale go down.

I have an addictive personality and I always need to be addicted to something. I've kicked smoking, cheating, anger and cynicism for a good part, and I can kick food. Food is something to be enjoyed, but it shouldn't rule your life. And I'm sick of letting it rule mine.

(Sorry for the long spiel. It felt good to write that out.)

***

lackadaisy Aw I meant a week MAX. Everyone's bodies are different. What are your spring break plans? I've been curious about P90X too.

indiblue Yeah, sadly the only thing that got me "going" is massive binging, which is NOT a solution for anything.

Dianne I am so glad to hear you're happy and feeling positive about your changed attitude and lifestyle. I may have to try that out since I have been in a restrict-rebel-binge cycle that is just getting worse and worse.

fivestone I've been daydreaming about going to Vienna for weeks now. How is Austria? I always have this image of your life as being idyllic and super-classy. I also feel really inspired by your super healthy relationship with food and exercise and moderation.

krampus *hug*. I'm so sorry about the binge. I feel like you feel- that I really would love to just embrace the huge part of me that wants to eat literally until I'm stuffed every day, all the time. It's like this dark corner inside me I have to constantly push down and away all the time, pretending it isn't there.

I wanted to start a thread recently seeing if anyone else feels like they are living right on the edge- that they are barely tinkering on the border between normalcy and absurdity. I really feel like at any minute I could break and start gorging myself and then it's all down hill from there. I don't have an addictive personality I just love food a LOT in a hedonist way, but I still kind of feel like I know where you are coming from.

I am glad you wrote out how long it took you to get to where you are now and how hard you've worked. This is what makes me keep it together 95% of the time- because I've come too far to turn back and I do NOT want all of those hours of exercise and months of eating well to go to waste. Keep remembering this if you ever feel like you might slip again.

That said, what's done is done and I hope you're able to get catharsis from talking about it, then move on to working hard like you were so good at doing.

Dianne It sounds like you have found a wonderful community and church so I'm so happy for you! Church was never a big part of my life and I definitely think I'm missing out on having that support and connectivity to other people. It's great you were able to remind yourself about how blessed we are... I try to remember this too as often as possible!

fivestone congrats on your success so far- you've done incredibly well! Keep up the wonderful work, and definitely let us know about your transition to maintenance- how you've planned to do it and what ends up working/not working for you

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Well yesterday I ate well under my calories, super healthily, and had a great workout. For some reason I knew the scale wouldn't move today, whether it's because my TOM is coming or because of my big meal two days ago, or that I didn't drink enough water yesterday. I'm back at about 128.8 and you know what, I'm really okay with that.

However, I can definitely feel changes and I know I'll be in 127 soon. I feel a whoosh coming on :) Body feels tighter and smaller, shorts/pants a tiny bit looser. I also had a great NSV yesterday- after not running for months due to a hip injury, I ran a 7:30 mile! Wheeeeee. Granted it was on a treadmill, but at a 4% incline, twice what is recommended for simulated outdoor running. I know it's not the same as running one outside, but I use my mile times as a big indicator of physical fitness, so it was nice to know I could still pull this one off.

That's an AWESOME running NSV indiblue! And the little things, like noticing your body feeling smaller, are an even better motivator to keep on trucking than a shrinking number on a scale. Exercise as a regular part of life really helps keep you together even when everything falls apart on the scale. I may have eaten the equivalent of two pounds of fat gain yesterday, but I still feel that nice firmness in my arms and legs that comes from recent exercise. I love food in a hedonistic way too and I think it's okay to love it, but loving the experience of an amazing gourmet meal and making every day an excuse to overindulge on whatever's handy are very different things and must be kept in separate spheres.

Agreed. I love me some gourmet food any time of day. But, I also ate 200 calories worth of Hershey's chocolate syrup the other day, so apparently my palate/hedonism does not discriminate... oops.

Happy Friday feathers :carrot:

Krampus :hug: I can honestly say I understand how you are feeling. Up until April of 2010, I lived my life eating everything and anything horrible. Every night after drinking I used to go to 7-11 and get 2 donuts, king sized reeses and a stoufer's mac n cheese. It was my go to meal after drinking. Or my mcdonalds go to meal was cheeseburger, med fries and two apple pies. I have literally gone to steak and shake and ate the frisco melt meal just to turn around and go to taco bell and get something there. When I diet I feel like I am on a very thin string ready to break and binge. I too have a very addictive personality. But I started to think. I really needed to figure out why I relied on food so much for happiness. Because even when I was sickly full and ready to throw up, I'd keep eating. Just for the pure euphoria of it. If I didnt fix my happiness placed on something else, I would forever be this way and eventually be obese. Thats why I am thankful I have "dieted". It helped me to truly enjoy healthy foods when before I couldnt even nibble on healthy foods. Give yourself a break. Maybe try the intuitive eating that I have been doing. I find that because I allow myself 5-6 meals a day, I never feel like Im missing out. Almost like one big binge! hah Im always able to do what i love - eat! With the intuitive eating, I know i can eat healthy but also eat that donut that my coworker brought in for me and not freak out becuase its not in my calorie range! I dont know how to explain it - but its helped a lot.. Its all just a mental battle...

Maybe try intuitive eating until you feel you are ready to "diet" again?

Fivestone How many calories do you try to stay at? Do you do low carb? And how much exercise are you getting?

Indiblue You are my diet hero. You seem to have such a good handle on what you eat. I am so impressed by that. I can see someone work out for 3 hours in the gym and be less impressed by it than someone who can consistently stay on plan. You rock! AND congrats on the 7:30 mile. That is incredible!! I can only do 10 minute miles. Its outside, but still only 10 minutes!

So I have my size 4 jeans that I wear regularly and usually use as a guage to my weight and if its going up, down or maintaining. I have done about a week now with "intuitive eating" with one HORRIBLE day that brought me to 3500 calories (wasnt a binge but just horrible food at the beach with lots of beer and liqour). I was relieved to find that when I put on my 4's this morning for work, they still fit exactly the same. Which tells me no weight gain. Shew!! I am really hoping to lose still (just veryyyyyyyyy slowly - like 2 pounds a month) but as long as I dont gain, thats good too.

HOpe everyone is having a fabulous week!