Hello everyone! Thanks to the OP for starting this thread. i was thinking of doing it myself but felt too chicken for some reason.

My update is that I am wavering between 126 and 129, totally depending on what I ate that day. I am losing verrrry slowly, but that is normal for us feathers. I had some pretty major body image freak-outs around Christmas because I was comparing myself negatively to my 110 lb. sister-in-law. It was crazy how I got myself worked up, but I hid away my insecurities and ended up just being very emotional and grumpy. It is funny because when I look in the mirror, I see myself as a skinny girl, but when someone skinnier comes along I feel enormous. Goes to show why we should not get hung up on numbers. I also made a bit of an identity for myself when I was younger that relied on being the skinniest one in the room. I am trying to push past this.
SO...my goal for February is to feel great, let go of the craziness, and continue to focus on health rather than numbers.

Hello everyone! Has everyone had a good weekend?
I've had such a hectic week but have still managed to fit the gym in 4 days out of 7 which isn't too bad I guess. I'm starting to get frustrated as my Valentine's goal was 132, and I'm still sitting around 134.4. I've been losing so slowly that it looks unlikely that I'll lose another 2lbs by next Monday! But I'm not too disappointed because at the same time, I'm 11lbs lighter than I was before Christmas! So that's something to celebrate!
I have a killer eye infection right now and it's making me feel rubbish. My job involves performing infront of lots of people a lot of the time and my eye currently look similar to Natalie Portman's red eyes in Black Swan. Which I also just went to see tonight and LOVED it!! I look rather funny... Hoping it gets better soon!
I hope everyone has a good coming week
Cat

My weekend has not been good so far. I am having a very hard time getting things done because I can't get motivated to do them. I have a massive file folder full of student essays and I can't even bring myself to open it. My list of things I need to accomplish is long and I haven't even made a dent in it. I would like to know why I keep doing this to myself. It send my stress level through the roof and then I just want to nap and binge.

I'm about ready to hang myself. Had a stress-related chocolate binge right before bed and like EVERY binge at no point did I feel any better than before I binged. Now it's Monday morning and I'm crashing after all the sugar and left with nothing but guilt, paranoia and a stomachache.

Today HAS to be better. No more f#cking desserts. I can't handle it.

Krampus, I'm sorry to hear that... chocolate hangovers are the worst. Do you have chocolate around your apartment? The best idea might be to just keep it away from yourself for as long as you can (simply not buying it works for me) and find other sweets instead. I like dried fruit (peaches, persimmons, etc).

I went to dim sum today. I thought I was doing so well, eating only little pieces of everything -- added it up and found I'd eaten about 300 calories of dimsum plus what turned out to 280 in congee. Sigh. Was then responsible all day, even through Super Bowl -- but finished off my day eating two slices of toast with Nutella at midnight. Ugh.

I'm rationalizing it with the 4 hrs of shopping/walking I did this afternoon. And my falling-apart thesis. And the Steelers coming so close but still losing the Super Bowl. But it's okay, girls... we're still champs. We'll push through.

Every day is another chance to start over...don't let yesterday get into your head, it ended.

Maybe drink lots of water/green tea and taking something for your stomach will help you feel better faster? Or eating high protein to balance it out?

Thanks for the support dudes. Feels like I just make the same post over and over again, haha. Hope that will be the last one I make for a long time.

lackadaisy I never, ever keep chocolate around for that reason...these were gourmet souvenir chocolates I was planning on giving a friend later in the week. Self control, what's that? That's like one step above throwing food out and then eating it out of the trash.

my ticker is such a lie! i have refused to weigh myself for about a week, it's just so heartbreaking that i've gone up maybe 6 pounds from eating junk. i'm not at a healthy weight anymore, and i'm just so disappointed with myself! I have terrible cycles of binging, and i'm not sure why. I stay on board for about 2 weeks, then just give up. (despite loosing weight and seeing changes) i suck

Good morning Feathers!

Wow has it been awhile since I have actively posted on here. And just like with any part of your life, when you know you arent doing what your supposed to, you avoid the places and people that have to do with it! lol So naturally, I have been avoiding posting because I have been off so bad!

Like you Krampus, I have been having too many binges and have gained back some of the weight I lost - which wasnt that much from the start. I got down to about 129 and am up to 132.5. I have made all new goals and plan on sticking to them. I cant stand the way I feel/look when I fall off so bad!!

Veela - I SO admire that you can still make it to the gym after binging. I have that stupid mentality, oh i already messed up, whats a 30 minute run going to do. So good for you!!

Krampus - I feel like you and I live such similar lives. The partying, drinking and binging. Its whats making this weight loss process so freaking hard! But we CAN do this. WE are in control!

lackadaisy - dont leave 3fc!! We are a tool not an impairment!!

Wildflower - I'd say you are doing relatively well given the circumstances. Anytime I get sick, everything goes out the window. I start to eat anything and everything and obviously no exercise. So kudos for still eating relatively healthy! I notice when I run in the cold weather, I feel much more exhausted. Its becuase your body is spending energy trying to heat itself. Its actually burning more calories!!

Chrissy - Whats C2k5?? I like to run and i keep seeing that around here..what is it?

Cat - that is AWESOME you are down 11 lbs before Christmas. I am so envious. I blame the holidays for my continuing down spiral of this journey!

Krampus - Oh the binges. But girl, my most recent binge (thurs night) puts yours to shame!! 6 debbie cakes, finished off a bag of sugar donuts, 4 big chocolate chip cookies and ritz cheese crackers. Yes, all of this in a matter of sayyy 10 minutes maybe? What is WRONG WITH ME?! If i could seriously just go 6 weeks without binging or going out drinking i could freaking get so close to goal!! I must have emotional/mental issues with food.. We can do this Krampus!

Therex - you are so funny. My weight is such a lie to. I have also been afraid to weigh myself and change it to the right weight lol it just makes me too depressed. But i sucked it up this morning and I am ready to get back on track. You can too !!

Ok so new goals. By March 19th (Kenney Chesney concert) I plan to be 124. By May 5th I plan to be 118. I REALLY want this and know I can do it if I stay focused and dont get the inevitable "ive lost 8 pounds" mindset I always get, "Oh, I feel good and dont look so bad anymore, I can indulge occasionaly now". Yea that occasionaly becomes binges frequently.

Lets do this Feathers!!!

Hi, everybody. I got really disappointed last week: I started eating clean and went to the gym every day, and weighed on Thurs morning and was down 3 lbs!! I was so excited! Something was working, right? But....i got BACK on the scales Sat, and I was back where I started! HOW?? Im doing everything right and still no change. UGH!! I'm trying not to let it get me down, but I admit I'm very discouraged.

Powerhouse I hope you have a great time on your cruise!!!

Therex, Dianne It must be something about this time of year...sorry to hear you girls are struggling too, though we all know misery loves company. I have a terrible time balancing my social life with eating reasonable amounts of food. If I were a more disciplined person I'd say "okay, overeat a bit on the weekends but rein it in during the week" but it's all too easy to take bad habits (sweets, giant snacks etc) home with you. I've stopped drinking alcohol because my tolerance has gotten so bad and it elicits binges almost invariably...

I am considering taking a break from the "dieting" mentality because thinking about planning food, calorie counting everything, etc is making me feel obsessive-compulsive. Everywhere around me are people who eat what I consider "normally" and are either maintaining or losing weight. Maybe if I try to change my mindset I will find success or at least return to what I consider a "manageable" weight...but ANYTHING is better than junk binges, ughhh. I probably had 20 cookies at a boring 2-hour meeting yesterday.

MrsMerch Sounds like a fluke, did you eat anything salty or go a couple days without going to the bathroom? Don't let it discourage you - maybe weighing daily is a good option for you so you can get more attuned to fluctuations etc.

Krampus- I totally relate to so much of what you just said. It's so exhausting to have to obsess over every tiny bit of food that goes into my mouth (and yes, it's exhausting to be overweight, but I (personally) think it's a close match).

I almost created a post about this yesterday...I feel like I am 100% obsessed with weight loss, like it's become my hobby or my past time to talk/read about it her, work out, count calories, look up calories, measure food, research food, cook food. I don't even like cooking anymore because I don't feel like I can make what I want to. If I am not working or at school/doing homework, chances are I am spending my free time obsessing about weight loss. It's become my ONLY past time!

It's so tiring to have to plan everything that I eat...a few months ago my fiancee and I stopped in a bar after we saw a movie to have a drink. I just sat there forever trying to figure out what was the lowest calorie thing to order. I knew in my mind it was to stick with water or diet coke...but I don't even like diet coke, and that's no fun when you are going out for a drink. I was sitting there wondering if anyone else was going through this, and if the waitress obsessed over her calories like this to maintain her weight.

Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it for some vanity pounds. Sometimes I feel like I would rather weigh 139 forever if it means eating pizza whenever I want. *Sigh*

Oh, and that day at the bar, I ended up ordering sangria, which was meant to be red wine, fruit, ice and a splash of OJ. It came with some type of thick flavored syrup in it (maybe grenadine?), I could taste it. And I drank it anyway. Sometimes you just can't win!!!

I think breaks are healthy. I've been on a "break" from dieting for the past few months and despite my rather depressing above post I am actually feeling motivated again FINALLY.

Wildflower and Krampus I can definitely relate about how exhausting this whole process is. I have a question for both of you related to that. I have never counted calories on paper/with a program, but just sort of mentally have a rough idea in my head of what I've eaten and what I still have 'room' for in my daily allowance. For me it's more about what I've eaten (mostly veggies today? OK i can have a small amount of pasta for dinner) or how hungry I am (had a big lunch, so i get a fruit and veggie smoothie for dinner and that's all) rather than the actual calorie count. That plus eating very clean- only fresh foods with whole grains is all I do diet-wise.

My "common sense" method generally works, but if it worked perfectly I wouldn't be here! I wonder then if counting calories is better and more effective, even though it's more exhausting. Is it sustainable in the long-run? Wildflower, I agree with your statement about trade-offs. Is it better to be a little more relaxed about counting calories/being aware or weighing fewer pounds? I've never really tried counting calories- do you recommend it? Is it worth it mentally/emotionally?

I don't measure or weigh my food and there is a lot of guesstimation going on, but even that I find extremely stressful. I can relate so well to what Wildflower said about going to a restaurant/bar and instead of kicking back and enjoying a night out with people, my mind races and I just feel nervous and freaked out because I'm worrying about calories. I have so many evenings where I stop at the 7-11 to pick out a snack and I'm in there for at least 20 minutes reading all the labels trying to figure out how I can get the most satisfaction out of the lowest number of calories. The clerks must think I'm insane.

On "good" days I pat myself on the back for eating a low number of calories and go to bed hungry. Without fail, on a low calorie day I'm probably daydreaming about food in my last thoughts before falling asleep. I tell myself that it's great that I'm not full because my body will eat its own fat while I sleep. On "bad" days I obsess about it all day, mess up, think "oh now I've REALLY screwed things up, I think I'll eat more" and go to bed feeling sick and stuffed just to wake up feeling the same.

That said, a lot of people happily lose weight counting calories and weighing/measuring portions. I have my moments when I find it fulfilling and I feel proud of myself for working at it and loving the feeling. As it stands today though I just think of it as a monstrous tragedy that I will have to be hungry for the rest of my entire life if I want to look a certain way. I love eating, I always have, and I have a very real jealous loathing for/distrust of people who claim they actually enjoy giving up unhealthy/high calorie treat type foods in favor for low-carb nuggets of wellness.

OH ladies, its this very topic that always sends me back to my old ways. We are featherweights which means we arent in serious health danger. And frankly, sometimes all this stress/counting/worrying isnt worth the vanity pounds. But what I've learned is I dont like the irritability, unhappiness and general depression I feel when I dont feel good in my own skin because of my weight. Not to mention if I keep it up, how much worse it will get on my health and body image. That being said, its worth it to me to get to where I want. I understand that eating healthy is a lifestyle. But to me the difference between "dieting" and the lifestyle is, once at goal, your body can tolerate mess ups and binges every now and then. The girls at the bar who have their little bodies and are drinking a beer, CAN afford it. They arent trying to lose, they are maintaining. Two days off plan, enjoying (not binging) on yummy foods and drinking alcohol, can be made up with two solid days on plan. Maintenance! Its just hard to have those days off when trying to lose. I think if we stop thinking that this will be the rest of our life forever, it would be a lot easier. Taking it day by day helps.

This is all of course my opinion. After so long of calorie counting, you eventually know what you can and cannot eat calorie wise. I fully plan on enjoying drinks and nice meals once I enter maintenance because I know how to get right back on plan the next day. This, coupled with the idea of having my ideal body, is what keeps me going! YOu can too ladies! Dont forget what brought you to a weightloss forum in the first place