Featherweights For those with just a few pounds, or trying to lose those last few pounds.

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Old 11-10-2010, 03:31 PM   #1  
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Default "you don't need to lose anymore weight"

How often do you have people tell you this if you have mentioned that you aren't quite at goal weight just yet? It seems lately that my friends are saying this more and more and I'm kind of annoyed by it to be honest. I know they are trying to be nice and to say that I look fine, but it comes off to me like they aren't rooting for me to make it to my goal weight. I know where I'd like to be and having people tell me "you are fine right now" doesn't help.

Then again, maybe I'm being a jerk to be annoyed by it.

Thoughts?

Last edited by matt_H; 11-10-2010 at 03:31 PM.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:36 PM   #2  
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This is such a common thing that featherweights hear/go through. Its hard for people to understand that you know where you are comfortable at; even if that may seem low to others. Most featherweights do look "fine", but we all know where we are comfortable at. Dont let it get you down or frustrated. Just say thank you and continue on to your weight loss goal!
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:45 PM   #3  
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it is annoying and I hear it all the time, and I am not even 10 pounds away from having an overweight bmi!! I think some of it may be people's weird way of complimenting us though!!
I have simply stopped talking about any of my goals to anyone, even when asked, and it seems to have died down some. It's hard when people ask specific questions, but if they say "how much more do you want to lose" I just casually say something like i"m trying to just eat healthy and then say I never realize all the health benefits of eating whole foods. Then it's onto another topic It's a little hard with some friends, but I do have a few who support me, so I just rely on them and 3fc!!

Good luck! You're doing awesome

Last edited by pinkflower; 11-10-2010 at 03:49 PM.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:50 PM   #4  
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All the time. Even now that I'm trying to lose 15lbs back to my goal weight I get gasps from people, which is why I'm careful who I mention it to.

When I was losing, people's reactions were that of absolute horror. To them, I looked awesome and they weren't basing their opinion that I shouldn't lose anymore off of getting to my goal weight, but where I had come from. It's a comparative thing, I think. I was no longer obese so in their minds, mission accomplished.

I think you are right- that's just their way of saying how drastic the change already is. It's a concept not a lot of people are faced with. I really don't know more than 1 or 2 people that have lost a lot of weight, so you are probably the very first person they have ever seen lose so much weight that they look like a different person entirely. Total human reaction.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:51 PM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkflower View Post
it is annoying and I hear it all the time, and I am not even 10 pounds away from having an overweight bmi!! I think some of it may be people's weird way of complimenting us though!!
I have simply stopped talking about any of my goals to anyone, even when asked, and it seems to have died down some. It's hard when people ask specific questions, but if they say "how much more do you want to lose" I just casually say something like i"m trying to just eat healthy and then say I never realize all the health benefits of eating whole foods. Then it's onto another topic It's a little hard with some friends, but I do have a few who support me, so I just rely on them and 3fc!!

Good luck! You're doing awesome

I do the same! I dont let anyone know that I am trying to lose weight. If they notice, I just tell them I am eating healthier and running more. Otherwise they watch you like a hawk and start wondering if you have an eating disorder. lol Its best not to tell anyone. My close family knows but they dont give me a hard time about it at all! Thank God!
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:54 PM   #6  
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Matt, another thing to keep in mind that when people look at your face, they see a very thin person. Often times our faces take on a more gaunt appearance because the skin hasn't quite caught up, so while you are at a perfectly healthy weight your face may make you appear thinner. Just a thought
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:03 PM   #7  
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I get this a LOT. And I actually am very close to calling it a wrap on actively trying to lose more weight, as I'm within a very few pounds of feeling content with the amount I've lost.

How I've been handling it is to smile, smile, smile, and say, "Oh, I'm just working on stabilizing my weight, and I'm being very cautious with adding more calories into my diet. I may end up dropping another couple of pounds while I do that, but you know, better safe than sorry, blah, blah, blah...."
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:17 PM   #8  
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The only person that still knows that I'm trying to lose weight are my best friend and my dh, both of whom totally get it. Anyone else, I just don't mention it to.

On the rare occasions I eat out, I do allow myself a treat but I quietly try to choose the healthier options on the menu and eat really well for the rest of the week.

As I have already reached my goal and bounced back up a bit, I consider myself sort of in maintenance right now and I will be doing this for the rest of my life, so I just don't make a big thing of it.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:20 PM   #9  
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No one has ever said this to me. If they did, though, it wouldn't bother me. I remember a world where almost everyone was thin, but a lot of people don't. They are used to this world, and in this world the thin often look extra thin by comparison.

Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 11-10-2010 at 04:21 PM.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:27 PM   #10  
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I simply wouldn't say you haven't hit your goal yet if asked if you are still losing weight- a person who hasn't walked in your shoes just won't understand why you are still trying to lose more. It doesn't matter how you explain it- people don't fully understand something they haven't gone through.

That being said you look great!
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:28 PM   #11  
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^ This is a good point. I never mention to anyone when I am losing weight. This is probably why no one has ever brought it up to me.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:30 PM   #12  
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Matt, with you I always feel like I just can't comment without mentioning that you DO look fine and...but you already know. So, I want go there.

BUT, I can tell you I've been getting that for a long time already and I came to the conclusion that people really just want to hear that you're happy with yourself. So when it comes up, I always say "I'm very happy where I am and am at the point that if I lose more, then great." It's a lie. I'm fighting like heck. But no one wants to hear that anymore. It's kind of funny.

Last edited by Eliana; 11-10-2010 at 04:30 PM.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:34 PM   #13  
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I get that all the time.
I've never looked the weight I'm
at. I guess you could say I "carry
the weight well". So when I say
I want to lose 40 lbs total, people
think I'm crazy. But it's something
I've been working on for a really
long time and I get tired of people
telling me I don't need to.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:38 PM   #14  
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I'm getting that now, too, and I'm still a few pounds away from healthy BMI - go figure. As with others, I prefer to keep my goals to myself and just chatter about them here on 3FC. When they ask why I'm still eating the way I have been for the last year, I answer that this is the way I eat now - salads are a part of life; cheeseburgers, fries, and Halloween candy are not.
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Old 11-10-2010, 07:59 PM   #15  
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I can relate to this! People I know say "fine but don't become anorexic" as if wanting to lose a few more pounds equals wanting to become Skeletor. Yeah, right! I think because I hate hearing "you're fine the way you are" so much, I try to keep it to myself (though it's obvious I've made changes in my eating habits and am not the carboholic human garbage disposal I was earlier this year).

I imagine it is going to get MUCH worse when I go back to America. People look at you like you're Satan when you say you're dissatisfied with a 6 and want to wear a 0/2.
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