Do you keep quiet around friends/family re: weight loss efforts?
Now that I'm in a healthier weight range, I've learned not to say anything about wanting to lose more weight. People seem to get very concerned and tell me I'm small enough or too small already. People watch what I eat too, and sometimes comment if I don't take "enough" of whatever is being served, or if I choose a healthier option. I even make excuses for exercising ("the dog has to go for a run or he'll get destructive" for example) - true, but I also want to run too.
So, featherweights, do you have an offline support network?
Oh yeah, i never tell anyone that im trying to lose weight. I not technically overweight - but i am at the very top of the normal range for my height so i definitely feel i need to make changes. I know if i mention it, everyone will be constantly telling me that i look fine, that i dont need to lose weight, and worse, closely examining every bloody thing i put in my mouth. When i'm not 'dieting' its fine for my to turn down desert, but if i am its an issue. Thats why i'm here really, i need to talk about it and ask advice but i cant ask anyone in real life.
I lost my weight sooo slowly that no one who sees me all the time even noticed!
My DH is the only one who knows that I've been dieting and he's very neutral about it all. There are joking complaints about how I'm getting too "bony" but I think he's proud of my success overall.
I've been getting this a lot from my family but as they have seen how healthy I eat and the large amount I consume they have begun to give it a rest. As far as exercise I run a lot and I tell them, they are more impressed than anything.
Some people think I'm too thin and thats great for them but I measure myself based on my health indicators, bmi, abdominal circumference, BP and my blood counts (I've been anemic in the past) and electrolyte levels, all of which are normal.
The last few pounds are to improve my running performance and have little to do with wanting to be thinner. Ultimately its my body my choice as cliche as that is.
I've gotten a comment or two along the lines of "you must be done now, right?" But when I say I'm not quite done, or might lose another 10 pounds, nobody has ever insisted I would be too skinny! So I guess I'm not in a danger zone
I mostly don't mention anything unless someone asks. I don't feel any need to make excuses. Everyone in my family knows what it's like to try to eat better and lose weight.
I don't think people understand that even when you've lost all the weight you want to you still have to maintain the same kind of lifestyle that helped you lose it. We're still going to have to make healthy choices (with slightly more calories of course), and we're still going to have to exercise. My friends who I've known a long time just don't understand that it takes work to stay at a lower weight, that it won't be magically finished once I hit goal.
I don't mention it unless I'm asked either. I stalled for a while and everytime I saw some people they would say "wow you are getting so thin" and I'm thinking I still weigh the same I did the last two times you saw me... I'm really motivated now to drop this last 13 so we shall see who notices and what they have to say about it. I just keep telling myself I'm doing this for me!
I know exactly how you feel. For instance - my boyfriend's mother is very overweight, but constantly making cookies/cakes (for herself and everybody else), and never has a fresh vegetable or a fruit in her house. I'm not exaggerating. And she is constantly offering me cookies or whatever else she baked.... Even after I say "no thanks" many times. It's like she wants me to eat it, because she's big and I'm not. I Know that sounds horrible, but it's the only conclusion I can come to. It's very frustrating because she is very overweight and makes zero effort to become healthier, but since I have become a lot heathier, I don't want to eat that junk anymore because it sabotages all of my efforts. I know if I told her I didn't want it because I was trying to be heathy, she would scoff at me because she is so overweight and I am just a "skinny little thing" to her... But it took a lot of hard work to be this way. I don't talk to anyone in "real life" about how important it is for me to keep my sanity by eating healthy and exercising... Because I feel like most people would not be supportive. I think many people have such a distorted image of what it is to be healthy. I'm not excessively small, I am normal.... I've got hips and thighs! haha. But I think so many people around us are overweight, that when someone is normal people who aren't making an effort to be healthy think "healthy" is "too skinny"... anyway that's my 2 cents. Thats why I'm so glad I found this website, it makes me feel less alone! Just because I'm not super overweight doesn't mean I don't have a right to care about my body and what I put in it, darnit!!
As of right now, only my partner and my best friend know. I have told others that I'm on a "lifestyle modification" plan as an explanation for why I'm no longer eating some of the junk food I had been eating with them. I've only lost 5 pounds over 3 weeks so far, and no one has mentioned it if they have noticed (except my SO).
I don't think there's any reason to mention it to others. If they ask, just tell them you're eating well and maintaining.
I have told others that I'm on a "lifestyle modification" plan as an explanation for why I'm no longer eating some of the junk food I had been eating with them.
That is great advice - people like to hear that you are trying to get healthy rather than lose weight.. for whatever reason! I have told my roommates that I am trying to eat more vegetables and cook more often to explain my recent changes in diet.
I feel the same way. I just can't get myself to tell my roommates that I've been trying to lose weight. They've noticed that I eat pretty healthy and I work out a lot, but I just say that I'm trying to be healthier. I feel uncomfortable saying anything because 1) I don't want them watching everything I eat, 2) I hate it when people assume that there's something wrong with me for wanting to shed a few pounds and 3) I don't want them to feel bad that they're not doing the same thing. A couple of my friends are bigger than I am and I don't want them to feel like I think they should lose weight too (Which I dont. I think everyone should do what's right for them).
Sometimes I want to tell people so I can talk about how hard I've been working. But I'm afraid it might backfire on me and I'll wish I never said anything.
I have a friend who is a lot more overweight than me, and whenever I say that I don't want to eat a certain food, she says, "...don't tell me. You're trying to lose weight again." and gets really mad.
I've learned that there are some people you just can't talk to about losing weight because they get offended.
However, my roommate who I'm living with in college doesn't judge me or make rude comments about me trying to lose weight. She's actually rewarding me if I complete all of the 30 Day Shred by the end of February! I hope it has nothing to do with food, haha.
It's all about finding people to talk to about it who won't act negatively. And if everyone you know in real life is negative about it, then at least you'll have a place to talk about it: here.
Last edited by MelodyLeigh; 01-27-2009 at 02:14 PM.
My mom knows how healthy I have been eating and how hard I am trying to lose a little weight. However, she comments that I eat crap.Funny thing is, I don't. Once a week I reward myself with a tomato pie slice and that is the day she ALWAYS chooses to comment. I just think deep down she is mad at her self for not trying as hard as I am to lose weight and projects on me. Its really annoying, but I tend to just ignore her.
My boyfriend is very supportive...although he tries to taunt me with baked goods every now and then..
I pretty much am my main support system.
Last edited by JerseyGirl83; 01-27-2009 at 09:13 PM.
Do you keep quiet around friends/family re: weight loss efforts?
I lost my weight sooo slowly that no one who sees me all the time even noticed!
