Ugghhhh....confused and upset!
 

I have been a member of this site for a year so, but to be honest I stopped logging on because no one really ever e-mailed me or provided me suggestions. Then, I just looked back at old replies and found that a lady suggested that I try this support. I didn't realize that 160's is considered featherweight, especially when I am 5'2".

I am just wanting someone to e-mail and talk to about our daily battles and struggles. I am 22, 5'2", 165 lbs., have a love/hate relationship with food and exercise.

I have done most diets...SouthBeach, The Zone, Atkins, Detoxing (with Juice), etc.


This time around I have already bought a binder to count calories, log exercize data and how I felt about what I did or didn't do. I am ready this time, but it always seems to be easier with a buddy. :dizzy:

I am not a Featherweight but I wanted to welcome you to the Forum. The people are great and you will get lots of great (much needed) advice. I do calorie counting and it has worked wonders for me. Please continue to come here the people here give you the support you need. This place is a great resource. Anyway, if you ever feel the need to "talk", PM me!

P.S. I am originally from St. Louis - us MidWesterners have to stick together. Go Cards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey there! And welcome back!

Despite most emphatically not being a featherweight myself, I find myself here because I followed the headline link on the front page.

Forgive me - I may be totally out of line, but I couldn't help noticing that your frustration seemed to stem from what you perceive as other people's failure to reach out to you? And maybe that isn't really what you meant, I don't know - but for my part, I'm finding this site a terrific resource for practical and emotional support - but I think if I'd just sat and waited for people to email me, or come and help fix my problems, then I'd have a very different perspective on the site.

For me, I like logging in to the daily chat, reading other people's posts, commenting, offering ideas, sharing my own experiences - the general give-and-take of forming online relationships. I didn't expect people to email me - I'm finding the coffee-klatch atmosphere of the threads much more stimulating and supportive than a one-to-one messaging relationship.

Maybe that isn't so much your cup of tea? Or maybe you had the unfortunate experience of feeling that you were investing a lot of time in listening to others, supporting them, nurturing relationships - and getting nothing back? I don't know. I'm sorry you didn't find it answered your expectations, though, whatever happened, and I do hope that you find it more rewarding this time around!

I agree w/ Fay. I have been here wow 2 years now and have made lots of wonderful friends. When I first came here I struggled too and then I just started reading threads and replying to posts and what not. Maybe just read around the site, find something that interests you and respond??

Feel free to come and chat with us in the Jaded Ladies or Back to Kindergarden <--In Misc. Clubs Threads, new people are always welcomed. :)

:hug:

Entering any online community is sort of like walking into a very crowded room of strangers. To meet people, you really have to be outgoing and jump into conversations, because otherwise it's easy to go unnoticed. If you tell people what you're looking for, there's usually somebody able and willing to provide it, but (just like in that crowded room) sometimes you have to repeat yourself in order to get a response. There isn't a person here, if they've been here long enough that hasn't asked a question or made a comment and gotten dead silence in return. It's just that crowded room thing, where if you're not talking to anyone in particular, or if you're drowned out by the din of the crowd, you can get overlooked.

Most of us don't email each other, we may send an instant message once in awhile but most of our communication is done thru these forums. You can post anywhere you feel comfortable. I think you have made a good start counting calories and exercising.

Sounds like, after reading your post, that you might be the perfect candidate for a smaller Miscellaneous Club. :yes: It might be good for you, because it's a smaller group of friendly ladies (and possibly some gents) who would be able to personally respond to you. They're often all about daily struggles, and daily lives beyond weight loss, and tips and tricks and support.

However, as others have mentioned, this is a forum. And that means you have to do some reaching out first. Sometimes a little more than just one or two posts. Such is life on the internet. With a smaller active group, you may be able to be noticed more quickly by each individual person. However, sometimes it means you might have to wait a couple days for responses, because not everyone is online all the time. It also doesn't mean that you can post just once and expect everyone to start PMing you. We all need something to respond to. Give and take.

I honestly suggest finding a smaller, active group (or two!) that you start posting in daily. Even if no one has responded one day, just post a daily thought or experience. Who knows? Maybe after doing this for a few, you might dip your toes into many more areas!

We're all here because we want to support everyone, but it does mean people have to be here and ask for the support they need.

I think you're seeing that sitting back and waiting for others to take care of you doesn't work out too well--in here or in life. You get back what you give out. Good luck! I hope you decide to participate in the forums and take an active role in your own success.

Hi Motivated! I don't really consider myself a featherweight either, I'm 5'3" and 165 lbs, so we're nearly in the same boat. I find myself coming to this forum mostly because there isn't really a specific forum for people who need to lose between 30-50 pounds. :) You might also try the 20-Somethings forum. It not a tiny group, but smaller than some of the others out there so you'll get some more attention. That and they are in our age group and can relate a little better to us.

And like everyone else has said, to get support you have to ask for it. I'm really new, only joined a few days ago, but every time I've posted I've gotten at least one response. Just hang in there!! It takes time to make friends online, just like in real life! :D

My goodness, you hit the nail right on the head!! I love your crowded room example, it's perfect.

Not everyone can respond to your queries either in a post or by PM or by e-mail... don't take it personally, no one, IMHO, is out to hurt anyone on this site... We're here because we have ONE thing in common we want to lose weight, whether it be 5lbs or 100lbs.... So we want to motivate, encourage and help each other...

As members and moderators we do our best...

:welcome: back to 3FC and just jump in and post away...Find your niche....

Thank you for the suggesstions. I seea lot of your points; however, I didn't just sit back the last time. I did post and read threads a lot and then actually got e-mailing a couple of people, which was extraordinary and super supportive. That is one of the reasons why I would like it again. Unfortunately, the two girls that I was e-mailing lost their weight before I did and we lost touch. I read the different forums everyday, but I don't really know where to go anymore. I appreciate all the advice though and thank you.

Check these ones out:

20-something's:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138484

Featherweights:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138490

Jaded Ladies:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138733

Back in Kindergarden:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138535

Or just browse around the Misc Clubs area:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=59

Now you have a few places to begin :D

Motivated, are you saying that you would like an one-on-one buddy to PM and share your plan with?

That would be yes, but I guess...

I've exchanged emails with a couple of gals a few time ... never lasts. Don't know why ... it just isn't the same as belonging to a sorta assorted group.

I just joined this site and it is such a source of support. I struggled with my weight issues in secret because I was too embarrassed and ashamed. I'm happy that you came back to try this out again. Just keep posting and I'm sure you will receive the feedback that you desire! Good luck!

What about your WoE? I mean, I spend most of my time here over in the Low Carb forum, but I know that South beach, Weightwatchers etc are all pretty busy places too. Or the Exercise forums? Good luck, anyway! ;)

I am also a prior member who is now back after a long absence. But I didn't leave for any reason that had to do with the site or the members.
I think that the whole e-mail thing usually doesn't last because it takes a lot of effort to stay in touch with someone through email. It's too easy for someone to get an email, say "I'll reply later." and then forget about it forever and voila! contact lost. At least here on the messageboard you can jump in any time you feel like it.
Have you thought about maybe posting an ad on Craigslist explaining that you're looking for a diet buddy to email, text, talk on phone, whatever with? Most of the people on a messageboard are going to be satisfied with keeping things on the board, but someone on Craigslist or another site like that one might be looking for a pen pal style relationship. It is worth a shot. Be careful though as there are lots of creeps and scammers on Craigslist, if you decide to go that route.

Motivated,

I just signed up a couple of days ago for the same reasons... to find support and someone or someones that can share the frustrations and emotions of the battle with food and exercise... primarily with food though. I am 5'2" and have always yo-yoed... I tend to not like stepping on scales because that number can either make or break my mood. But a couple of weeks ago I couldn't stand the feeling of my clothes fitting tighter or just not fitting at all so I decided to weigh myself to find out I have gained 20 pounds over the last year... so I wanted to join this community to try and nip it in the bud and get control back.

Reading others' posts definitely makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone... most, if not all, of my friends are tiny and have no issues with food so I can't really talk about this with them. I realize 20 pounds is not a lot of weight compared to a lot of people in this community but when you're 5'2" and I used to be in amazing shape (6 pack, borderline fitness competition-worthy) 20 pounds is a nightmare... and did I mention I work at a gym? So feeling like everyone is looking at me like "oh, she's letting herself go" is a devestating feeling and starting to wreak havoc on my self-esteem.

My exercise regime is solid. I can run 10 miles at a time and have started to participate in Bikram yoga (hot yoga) and I lift weights a couple of times a week... my weakness is food. And I know HOW to eat right... I just need the motivation back to actually do it!

hi ya
 

HI

I go online about twice a week to find out how things are going for everyone but keep a chart for exercising - it makes me feel good and helps with a few forums that I keep up with.
Anyway, the mini goal forum is great because it keeps you up to date with a slew of people -and I am not in my 20's but I noticed a 20's forum and thought maybe they may be more responsive on a daily basis for your needs. Although I have to say featherweights are fun to talk with so this one is great as well

- good luck on your quest! :)

trailgroomer

I'm 23 and you can chat with me on AOL instant messenger any time. I'm signed on 24/7 and at my computer most of the day.

hi
 

Hi there, i am new here to 3fatchicks, i read your posts, and you can send me e mail or reply whenever you like. when i first went on a diet, jan 1st i weighed 214 lbs and 5foot 5, i weigh 180 now, im not doing any certain diet plan, i am counting calories and keeping fat grams down, wayyy down! i ran into a fitness trainer at walmart and he advised me not to just look at calories only, but to look at the fat grams, for instance, if your grocery shopping and you pick up a frozen lean cuisine meal that has 290 calories and 6 grams of fat, and another meal is 290 calories with 12 grams fat, then the meal with 12 grams of fat but same calories is a bad meal. look at those fat grams. also, i cut back on the carbs and eat only very lean meat. no beef or pork and it works wonders! but no matter what diet plan you use, it takes alot of determination, self discipline and, it is hard at times, thats why im here, i need support, help, anything to keep me going!