Everything right now seems to be a struggle. School, my personal life, everything. I've had several people close to me pass away these past few months and my father is terminally ill. Some weeks I can barely stand to look at food, other weeks like this one, I am constantly hungry. I'm in counseling, and was diagnosed with PTSD, which I think was too quickly diagnosed. I don't have that much I want to loss, but I'm training to become a police office so I really don't want to slack off. I'm so tired, only sleeping about three or four hours a night. Any suggestions? Ideas? Xanex? I Just want to stay on track. I don't want to deal with the rest.
Personally, it sounds to me like you have way too much on your plate right now. I know it's not stuff you asked for, which makes it difficult - it's not a matter of just saying "no".
Maybe this is not the right time for you to worry about losing weight. We are the same height, and you are currently 1 pound lower than my goal weight, which is a very healthy weight for you. At 120, I would imagine you'd be getting mighty thin (and police officers are supposed to have a bit of size/strenth, are they not?) Of course, it's not for me to decide if you need to lose weight, that's completely your decision. What I'm getting at is that you may be more able to do it when your life is a bit calmer. Sticking to a program and making time to exercise takes time, plus physical and mental energy, and it doesn't sound like you have any of those to spare right now. Maybe just try to maintain, eat healthy, and take care of yourself for now, and worry about those 9 pounds (if you decide you even want to worry about them) when you've got some resources to devote to the project.
I know it doesn't help to say this but I understand how you feel. Life can be pretty overwhelming sometimes.
I would try to take some time out for yourself. It's okay to feel upset. It certainly seems like you have reason to. It helps me to really organize my time and take things in little chunks!
First off HUGS I am so sorry for everything you are going thru.
I kind of echo Janie. Maybe for now dont TRY to lose weight. I think you are at a weight that would be considered fine for police academy. If weight comes off, great, if it doesnt, dont make it an added stressor.
Fill your home with healthy food options. On the days you dont feel like eating, try to eat something healthy occasionally - thats a good day for nuts and fruit. On the days you are always hungry, eat, just eat healthy stuff.
Stress eating is not ideal, but it takes a tremendous amount of physical energy to be stressed and tired. I am ravenous when I dont get enough sleep.
Exercise when you can to help with stress and sleep and talk to a doctor about if this might be a time to temporarily have medicine to help you.
For me (personally) when my dad was dying and I was overwhelmed, I needed sleep more than anything else so I went the Ambien route. Once I had my sleep fixed I was better able to deal with everything else in my life.
Think about what you know about YOU and what do YOU think would be most helpful at this time. This is also a time to think about if you can get help for some of the non essentials. Hire a cleaning lady, grocery shop online, ask friends to help you for awhile, just until you can get your feet under you.
Think about if there is any stressor in your life that DOESNT have to be there. Are you taking more classes than you need to. What would happen if you dropped a class - some programs its no biggie, others it throws things completely off.
From your name I am guessing you are engaged. This is the time for your fiance to step up and help you out as much as possible. Shop for you, cook for you, clean for you , be there for you.
My suggestion would be to get some sleep three to four hours is NOT enough, you should get at the very least 6 to 8 hours/night. I know that if I don't get enough sleep nothing seems to go right with my world. It's a proven fact that our brain does funny things to us when we don't sleep enough...
I'd have to agree with what Janie said, if you have that much stress in your life than don't try to add more by thinking about your weight. I know I've been in the same spot you're in now. I'm a corrections officer, and shortly after I started this job my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and a year before that we lost my brother. She's in remission now, luckily, but I understand what you're going through. At the time I didn't even think about my weight, I was trying to be there for my mom as much as I could and concentrate on my job. The weight loss journey came later. My suggestion is that you concentrate on what you need to do now and hold off the other stuff. And if you need outside help, by all means get some. This can be from a doctor, your friends and/or significant other. But most importantly, take care of yourself.
Im sorry about all the things going on in your life right now, especially your dad! I had a rough time of it a few years back when alot of stuff happened in succession and I thought I would go crazy. what I needed was sleep so I could handle the days! my doctor put me on Ambien for about 1 month and it truly helped. I agree with the others; I think you shouldnt focus on dieting as it adds another negative burden in your life..maybe you should try an outlet like walking or running that would allow you to clear your mind and burn a few calories in the process!!! best of luck to you!
Struggling, VENT
to you and don't be so hard on yourself. 
