I made this post on another board and really want to explore the idea of weight-loss and self-sabotage more. I know that once I get going, I sabotage it in one way or another (mostly, by binging). It's been easier for me to lose the same 15 pounds over and over again than by losing any "new" weight. I have so many what-if's going on that I am letting them hold me back.
Anyway, I'd love to get your thoughts and feedback. Thanks
"I am scared to lose weight too. What if I am just as ugly when I hit goal? What if people still don't like me? What if -- two power words when put together. I've hidden my fat for years. I've also been able to hide behind it: using it as an excuse for just about everything. Sometimes I like to think that all my issues will be solved if I could just get thin."
Wow! I thought I was the only one who had been afraid to lose weight. But, unlike you, I could never put my finger on why. I think after awhile, I felt fear of failing yet another diet. I also could not picture myself skinny anymore. And I justified every calorie I put in my mouth by telling myself that I had too much weight to lose, and it's easier being fat (at least with food prep and exercise, or lack of). I still can't picture myself at goal, people already are starting to notice, so I can't imagine what 50+ pounds less will look like!!
I'm not a fat smasher, but this topic struck a cord with me, so I decided to crash your thread. I wrote a post ages ago on another board here, but it was exactly what you're talking about:
I've never been a "normal" weight, either. I've been fat since I was in diapers. For me, the scariest thing about finally losing this weight is the "what if"...
Because this is all I've ever known, I find that I attribute everything bad that happens (or good that doesn't happen) to being a fat girl. Here's how it works: I think, "I'm invisible because I'm fat". Or, "No guy will date me because I'm fat". Or, "I can't do that because I'm fat". Or, I won't get that promotion because I'm fat".
So then the Big Scary Question: What if I lose the weight, and it turns out that all that stuff wasn't just because I'm fat? What if I get thin and I'm still invisible. And no guy wants to date me. And I still don't get that promotion. I'd have to deal with the possibility that I'm not good enough, cute enough, smart enough after all. That the flaw is actually in me, and not in my fat. And that, that is SCARY to me.
But here's the kicker - the thought that it took almost 33 years to fall out of my brain: What if it goes the other way? What if I'm not invisible anymore, and my new self-confidence opens doors for me that I never imagined. That would be pretty cool. And that's what got me going. And that's why I will succeed.
Sorry - that was way too many words It feels good to finally articulate it, though. Thanks for the great thread!
Anyhow, that's what I wrote at the end of last year, and you know what? I'm not fat anymore. And I have an amazing boyfriend, and I'm gonna get that promotion. And those things happened not because I lost the weight, but because I finally started to believe in myself.
So here's my $.02 - take the risk, girls. You're totally worth it!
cheers!
paula
Last edited by cagirlygirl; 10-27-2006 at 01:22 PM.
Reason: grammatical boo-boo
Things have been very very different for me since I lost the weight that I
have. I have more self confidence that I have ever had in my life. I used to
really hide behind the fact that I was fat-and now I do not have that to hide
behind anymore and it is wonderful.
HOpe you don't mind if I crash too. I'm not really sure what fat smashing is.
But I definetly have all those thought I've been fat forever - I managed to loose a lot of my weight once but than I got preagnet and put it all back on plus more. It's so much easier to just eat the cookie(s) rather than say no - its easier to take a nap or sleep in rather than exercise. Fat is so much easier - no I can't run that race I'm to fat and out of shape. I have a excuse for almost everything.
My biggest what if Is, what if I manage to loose the weight and be skinny and than get preagnet again and gain it all back AGAIN!!!!!
But what if I don't, what if I change my life style and it works and I'm healthy and decrease my risk of heart disease, diabetes and other health conditions, what If I can have a healthy pregnancy (my last one was a nightmare) What if I'm able to grow old and watch my baby have babys - that's what is worth it - that's why I must trudge on.
thanks everyone what a great thread. I've never been able to actually process through those thoughts before, glad to know I'm not alone
My biggie was ... what if people notice that I'm trying to lose weight and I don't? They'll all know I screwed up again.
I'd forgotten about that until I read this thread. I don't know what happened. I guess after I got a few compliments ... and it did work, I just forgot that particular fear.
Evie -- Fat Smash Diet is a diet developed by Dr. Ian -- and is used on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club. There are 4 stages that last 90 days. The first lasts 9 days and pretty much you are a vegetarian that drinks only water and herbal tea...the other stages add in other foods...
You have done a wonderful job of loosing all your weight! Congrats. Did you use the Fat Smash Diet for all your weight loss? Your thread caught my eye because I am close to your old weight. My story goes along the topic of fear of loosing weight but I had the opposite fear-gaining. Two years ago I was a six 6 (I'm 5'5) and avid runner. I would workout up to 2 hrs/day. I feared getting fat as my sister and mother both have weight problems. Long story short, I was in an accident that caused injury and I could not run and barely walk at times due to pain. Due to this and my own emotional turmoil I put on about 45 pounds. I started Fat Smash on Monday and have not cheated at all. I read these posts and feel inspired to continue. I have even begun working out again as the past couple months my pain has decreased much. I now know that being healthy is the key not skinny! I want to fell well emotionally, physically, and spiritually. My lesson to get there has to be this journey of loosing weight. I now have a new perspective and understanding that even the size I am now I am a pretty good person. So, I am pleased to be a part of your board and wish us all a continued journey to good health. I will post my results on my day 10 weigh in on Wed
I lost my first 60+ with calorie counting and exercise. Then, I stopped exercising. I gained 20 or so back and have been struggling with it for about 3 years...
I've done WW and South Beach and couldn't stick with it. I like fat smash and have been on it since Oct. 1. Back to Phase 1 for a few days then back on Phase 2 starting tomorrow.
And I need to get back to exercising. We have one in my complex and it's free. So what's my excuse now, you know?!?
Good luck to you! will look forward to your post on Wed!
I know that I have wanted to lose weight all of my life. I felt like it would solve so many of my problems. But, in reality... the weight doesn't cause my problems. The way I see myself is what causes the problems. Have any of you ever know a person who was over weight, but the were so happy and outgoing? I mean really had a great life. I have. The person that I knew didn't let their weight get them down. I don't mean to say that being overweight is a good thing. Not at all. But, society has sort of caused overweight people to think less of themselves. Like they are flawed because they don't fit into a certain criteria. I do realize that health issues are reason enough to lose weight. But, over the years.... I had petty and vain reasons to want to lose. I thought that if I lost weight... I would somehow be a better person. People would like me and I guess I thought that if I was thin (skinny) that I wouldn't have a care in the world.
I realize that most of this post is rambling and may be slightly off topic. SORRY!! I just started thinking and this is where I ended up.
I now know that my weight....does not define me as a person. I am who I am whether I am overweight or not. It all depends on how I see myself.
I want to lose weight now for health reasons. Not so people will like me better. Not so I will have more self confidence. Not so I will be able to wear a smaller size. And NOT so I will be accepted and fit into some mold that society has for me. I AM SOOOO OVER THAT!!!
Thanks for allowing me to ramble on and on. I hope SOME of this made sense.
I think it is a huge step in getting there because I am still in the mindset that losing the weight is going to solve ALL my problems. While I may REALLY know that it's not true, I still have this glimmer of hope...
I know there are people out there that are very aware of other people's weight problems. I work with one that wont even talk to a person that is overweight. It bothered me at first, but then I realized it's not me...their the one's that have issues. But as for me, I am on this journey to improve my health first and foremost. I have lost 40 lbs, and other people have noticed my loss. Sure it feels good that other people notice and compliment you, it only makes me strive for more compliments. But how I feel, and knowing I am on less medicines, or actually avoided going on new medicines is the biggest motivator. I realized when I started this plan, that I am the only one that is in control of my body. The what if's are endless, whether your small or large. Do what makes you feel the best!! Everything else will fall into place.
Your "What If's"
I wrote a post ages ago on another board here, but it was exactly what you're talking about:
It feels good to finally articulate it, though. Thanks for the great thread!
You're totally worth it!
