Hi Laura,

Sorry to hear about your grandmother... sending you light and love during this time.

A book called "The Tibetan book of Living and Dying" might be a good read for you at the moment... a challenging read, but also incredibly worthwhile.

While Christianity may not be for you and you are having difficulty with the thought of her death in this manner, perhaps realising that her faith gave her comfort might help to put in context for you. What were her beliefs? Did her faith give her the ability to die gracefully and without regret? Is there some common ground that you can think of that will help you during this time?

Take care,
Marianna

Hello Laura,

I am so saddened to hear that your grandmother died recently. The memories of her life and how she affected you may be a small source of comfort. It must be hard to have a different perspective than all her friends who are giving you their condolences. It is useless to struggle with this, I believe. What matters is that your grandmother had her faith and it must have done something good for in her life, and ultimately in her passing. That belongs to her, and you may be comforted to know that she had that. I know little about the Buddhist views of death and grief, particularly with respect to karma and reincarnation. What I know I gathered from an article by Robert Thurman, something he wrote after the tsunami disaster in Southeast Asia. That is, that we should look at the death of the loved one as a time for us to reflect on our own deeds and what karma may accrue from them. Also, the departed one, in her just-after-death state, "bardo," has the opportunity to look at her karma and look towards rebirth in another world. Not at all like the prescribed period of grieving that Westerners and people of the Judeo-Christian traditions practice! Certainly the Buddhist perspective encourages us to look at our own lives and to think about our actions in a more profound way: death is a fact of life, as your grandmother is showing you. If you can think of your own life in a positive way, and act accordingly, this may be one manner of dealing with the loss.

For me, my father's passing 3 years ago is as real as if it happened days ago. He was the best father a person could ask for. In my own way, I think of him when I look at a particular star at night, and imagine that he is there doing good works for those of us he left behind.

Laura, in your loss, I wish for you peace and a star to light for you a path of understanding and acceptance...Cathy

Thanks for the messages, y'all. She was a strong Christian, and I know that she found comfort in her faith. In that way it is comforting. However, I know from talking to my parents that shortly before she died she would ask things like "do you think I'm going to heaven?" I suppose that all of us will be anxious at the time but for me that just makes me wonder what use...if that's the right word...all this striving to believe is.

Cathy, I'm definitely using this as an opportunity to reevaluate my priorities and such, as often happens. However, it never feels like it 'sticks' as much as I wish it did. Maybe that's just part of being imperfect and human, I don't know.

i had the weirdest dream last night. i met my ex in a bus stop and i actually forgave her. is this my subconsious telling me i'm ready to move on? whats more is normally after she rears her head in my dreams i normally get really upset and depressest about it and think of her all the time but today i'm not i'm just depressed about being a fat lazy slob lol

Hello, everyone. I've been out of touch for awhile. Illness, and too much work. But I'm happy to see everyone has been checking in.

Laura, my condolences on your grandmother's death. There is a very helpful little book titled "Life in Relation to Death" by Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche. The one I have is the second edition, and it's published by Padma Publishing in Junction City, CA. It's less than 100 pages, and I've found it very helpful.

Slimmingsi, you have made such wonderful progress. What part of your mind wants you to think your are those bad things? The Dalai Lama once said, "My religion is kindness." Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like a valued friend--because you are.

Blessings to all,
Jay

no part of my mind wants to think bad things about me but my hands with pizz and guinness in them lol

Hello to all,

Slimmingsi...that is pretty funny about the pizza and Guinness in hand! Be nice to your hands too and pick up a glass of tomato juice with some sprouts instead (a bit of an acquired taste, I admit).

Laura, it is hard for us to make things "stick" when we are isolated from a group which is working towards the same thing. I am not sure if you are a practicing Buddhist or just new to this philosophy. One important aspect of it is to practice, learn, and to belong to a sangha, or community, or like minded people. It is like having buddies who go to the same gym...it is easier to make the effort and commitment when you have support. The same holds for those of us who try to follow the Path. This is a great support site, so let us help you and keep sharing your thoughts. Lots of luck to you,

Cathy

sprouts are the route of all evil are soley to blame for everything we wish to put blame upon YUCK!!!

Slimmingsi...did you mean the "root" since they come from underground? Hey, mung bean sprouts are pretty tasty--try it, you might like it.

Jay sorry to hear you have been ill and overworked. Hope you are being extra kind to your body and keeping up the Dharma practice. Are we going to choose a special topic to talk about this week?

Lately I find myself doing too many things at the same time. The result is that I forget what I was doing to begin with, and get a teeny-tiny pang of anxiety when I realize I have not completed (or totally forgotten) item #1. This happens especially in the kitchen, which, at my house, requires multi-tasking. For example, when I notice that I am concentrating on, say, the onion chopping, I forget to add the rice to the pot. Not earth shattering, but a bit unnerving just the same.

I know that part of the anxiety comes from my personal need to be always in control and on top of stuff. No, I have not burned down the house yet, but it occurred to me that what I lack is Mindfulness. I have no difficulty whatsoever staying focused while doing 45 minutes of meditation, but it goes away and I get scatter-brained when I am at home. So...

...perhaps we can talk a bit about what Mindfulness means to us, and how we can keep it present in our lives amidst the increasing demands to be more effective as multi-tasked, modern individuals. Thanks for your comments.

OneLove to All...Cathy

Hey, everyone! Let's hear about weight loss successes, exercise successes, and dharma practice!

I would like to lead the way, but I have little success to report except that my weight has remained stable (at least not going up) for the past few years. But it has been an up and down path.

raindancer, I think there is a difference between concentration and mindfulness. ;) Mindfulness means being aware of the onion, but not so lost in the experience of the onion that everything else is forgotten.

While cutting up the onion, what is going through your mind? I often find myself with endless chatter going on. What other things I need to do, comments I should have made to people, what I might say to them later... I can have entire imaginary conversations all by myself, and what a waste of mind space is that? Talk about not being in the now! But that's the opposite of concentrating on the onion to the exclusion of everything else. Neither one is mindfulness ... I think.

I'm glad to hear you haven't burned down the house... :^:

This is the time of year when we have fresh strawberries in Florida. They are wonderful and we eat them every day while they last. We leave out the shortcake. heh.

Has anyone else heard of the author Eliot Pattison? He writes murder mysteries that take place in Chinese-occupied Tibet. Very good reading, very Buddhist points of view--but also somewhat hard to get through because of what the Chinese are doing to eradicate cultures.

May you all be free of suffering and the cause of suffering. May you know joy and the cause of joy.

Jay

I'm so happy I stumbled across this thread. I went to a Buddhist University in a very health-conscious town, and I had started to believe that there was no such thing as an overweight Buddhist! I'm glad to find that I'm not alone.

I don't consider myself a Buddhist, but found through contemplative education that the principles guiding the religion are much in tune with my own beliefs and struggles, particularly the ideals of non-attachment and compassion.

I'd like to find a way to explore my relationship with food, exercise, and the body through this. Im not sure exactly how that looks, but it's a path I'd like to explore.

I look forward to joining you!

Buddhists--We are still here!
 

Greetings, those engaged in the weight-loss path! This thread is not dead--but for the longest time I could not get on to 3FC! Just kept getting "The Page Cannot Be Found." Finally--back again!

Those of us who follow the Buddhist path know that cause and effect is a big part of existence, and certainly this applies to weight gain and loss. We also know that this life is filled with wanting to satisfy desire again and again, and this also applies to weight gain and loss. Whenever we eat those wonderful, tasty, pleasurable foods to excess, we reap what we sow.

Mindfulness means staying aware of what we're doing (eating) and why, and realizing that we have a choice every time.

Please, if you have given up on this thread, come back!

Namaste,
Jay

Hi, Jay - glad to see you posting again. I've been watching this thread, but didn't have much to add. I may be starting a meditation class at our local sangha, which I'm really excited about. Maybe I'll meditate on my relationship w/ food. :lol:

Ha! Just watch the outbreath--everything else is "thinking."

I am listening to a series of CDs by Pema Chodron, in which she discusses--well, many things--but one thing she discussed that comes to mind about weight loss and food is envy. Seeing someone else getting something or doing something and feeling envious. I think this especially can be a trigger for eating the wrong things, for example, "So and so is having a piece of cake, and they are [overweight, undeserving, selfish--fill in the blank] and it's unfair. I deserve to have some too."

Instead, she suggests cultivating joy that the other person is having that good thing, without coveting it for ourselves.

Thoughts?

I just know you're there
 

C'mon, folks! I know some of you must drop in from time to time--please add some comments to keep our thread going. Are you having success in your program? Is your Buddhist practice helping--or not?

Jay

i have a big question is there any type of bhuddism i can follow where i dont' have to give up meat. i've read all the taoist books. read the i ching 4 times(still no idea what it means lol) and some bhuddist stuff but see i don't eat veg i promote veg as bad for me due to what is sprayed on it and i can't afford organic. so basically meat is my primary diet

Hey, Slimmingsi!

You don't have to be vegetarian to be Buddhist. That's a common misconception among Westerners. Even the Buddha is reported to have eaten meat, in one of the sutras.

Tibetan Buddhists in particular do eat meat, mostly because in Tibet and Nepal there are very few other types of food. Ideally one would prefer to avoid eating a lot of animal foods because that way animals (sentient beings) would not be killed or suffer--but you won't going to some sort of Buddhist "****" (which doesn't exist) if you do. Karma attaches to everything, however.

Jay

Greetings, Dharma Folks
 

Hello out there! It's hard to believe that no one has posted on our Buddhist Support thread for two months. Have you all attained weight loss? I certainly hope so!

Awhile ago a friend of mine was toasting cornbread in the toaster oven, and it smelled soooooo good! I was about to feel sorry for myself because I couldn't eat any--but then I had the thought that I could simply enjoy the smell. No reason why I had to feel deprived just because I couldn't go directly from smelling to eating. And it was a lovely smell. After that I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Jay

Hello:

Earlier, I sat down to do some online research without knowing exactly what information I hoped to find. I ran a search for the words “Buddhist, weight loss” and this message board was the first result. The ideas, thoughts, and guidance in your postings turned out to be exactly what I wanted. Reading and reflecting on your posts has been very enjoyable and it was disappointing for the conversation to fade.

This past fall, I was suddenly exposed to a new way of thinking. During a three week visit, my aunt, a practicing Buddhist, shared much about her religion. I was surprised by how connected I felt to the teachings and practices she spoke of. Like many of you, I was instantly drawn to, and very eager to start understanding the theories of Buddhism.

Some of you might enjoy the book I have starting reading called The Tantric Distinction: An Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism by Jeffrey Hopkins. I feel he does a good job explaining some very complicated ideas. Slowly I am reading/re-reading for understanding, and I have slowly been trying to incorporate some of the practices into my life. Reading your experiences, like how to practice mindfulness, will surely help.

Anyway, I have been aware for some time now, that I need to change my unhealthy ways. I have gained and lost weight several times now, but this time it has been difficult to get started. I can definitely relate to the post by Laura on the temporary “diet fix”. I feel like unless a diet and exercise plan is going to be a permanent lifestyle change, then why bother doing it. The weight will just creep up again when I fall off the plan. This led me to believe Buddhist practices could be applied to the weight loss challenge. Your posts have helped me see how!

I guess we can choose to perceive the benefits of such a challenge. It has obviously provoked some of us to seek knowledge and practice applying it to daily life.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts; I hope everyone begins to post again even if it is only periodically.

Best,
Sara
:goodvibes

Hello, Sara! Lucky me to check the forum today!

I am doing well, and I hope you are, too. My weight loss dharma continues. Right now I'm having "success" instead of "failure"--such interesting terms, and so much "all in one's head."

Thanks so much for the reference to that book! I'll look for it.

Buddhism has shown me how much my food desires are automatic or are based on something other than really needing food, and that's been very helpful. It's the cycle of always being dissatisfied--dukkha is the term for that. "The unsatisfactoriness of our current existence." For me, learning to just be where I am without trying to fix it with food is an ongoing effort.

Please check in from time to time!

Namaste,
Jay

Refuge Vows?
 

I am curious--who among those who visit this thread have taken refuge formally?

I am about to do so later this month with the Khenpos.

Jay

well i thought i'd bring this back to the top and maybe keep the 6 weekly posting ritual alive lol

Thanks for posting, slimmingsi! And happy Losar (Tibetan Buddhist New Year--coming up on Tuesday).

I have found that if I can distract myself from wanting to snack if I use the time to do some practices instead, such as meditation or other practices. It helps to get me out of that cycle of wanting.

Jay

i just have a nice biiiiiiigggggggggggg! mug of green tea

Hey! I just noticed your numbers! That's really great, slimmingsi! You are an inspiration--I think I'll go for that green tea myself. :goodvibes

Jay

green tea is great i love the stuff and drink it like some people drink cola

hello, hello

Is everyone out meditating?

jmc1968

Hello yourself, jmc! Ha! Well, better out meditating than eating any day! Glad to see you visiting our thread. Are you Buddhist or someone who is interested?

Jay

hi Jay

whoops. I posted and then left for a conference and forgot to look at this thread again. Hmmmm I guess I posted this when I should have been finishing up my paper.

I'm interested in Buddhism. Not really practicing yet.

jmc

Glad to find this group
 

Hi to the very few users of this group...though it appears that there are many visitors! I am new to 3FC and trying to get going with my diet and hopefully get and give support for the same. I am a long time Buddhist (30+ years) and feel that there are many ways that Buddhism can support conscious eating. There is mindfulness practice and the precept of conscious consumption, both if practiced daily can help. My problem right now is that I am having difficulty with my practice.

I have made a (micro) mini-goal of staying focused today and tomorrow. I feel that I just have to start with something that basic because that is where I am at right now (Pema Chodren, Start Where You Are). I actually feel good about being that clear with myself and writing about it helps too.

I hope to hear from other folks and welcome your thoughts around food, and conscious eating. Hope that more Buddhists will speak up or non-Buddhists that just want to contribute.

Starting new thread
 

Hello, Mirabai and others interested in Buddhism and weight loss!

I'm going to start a new thread because this one has gotten so long. Please look for Buddhist Support #2!

Jay