Hi Kristi...I'm back! Had a great time. Sorry I couldn't post to you. Connie never could find an access number that wasn't long distance for her lap top, at any of the motels. We stayed an extra day....we were so tired, just wanted to stop about half way home & rest up. It helped me quite a bit to get away a few days.

Your last post worries me, my friend. Tell me what has happened. Yes, it DOES seem like there can be a conspiracy going against our happiness, sometimes. Please let me know what has happened.

I thought about you a lot.
Your friend,
Charlotte

Thanks so much for thinking about me while you were gone. I'm so happy for you that you had a good time and were able to get away from the worries of your home repairs. What's happened here is my DH is going through a little something something. I think he doesn't know how to respond to my happiness. I've really adopted a healthy eating and exercising way of life. Plus I have vowed to continue communicating with my friends here at 3FC. Since sticking to these 3 changes so much of my depression and lethargy has just lifted and rarely rear their ugly heads. It seems whenever I'm doing well he doesn't understand me. (his mother suffers from undiagnosed depression) I think he gets worried I will expect more from him or something. All I know is he's trying to be very controlling suddenly and it's driving me crazy. He says silly things like, you better take the laundry off the line. I've been doing my own laundry for 23 yrs I think I know when to take the laundry off the line. Yesterday my older children went "next door" to my IL and were watching Lord of the Rings there was 18 min left of this 3 hr movie and he made them shut it off and come home just because he was home. If he had plans to do something with them I could understand this, but he just came home and watched the news, showered, etc... but only after arguing and making everyone miserable.. I know it'll pass. We're so busy with ball etc.. that he's feeling unneeded and neglected. Both untrue but...here he comes

Dear Charlotte, It's all of the above. The children's activities have taken up so much time the past month. I know much of the time he feels left out. I know he gets jealous of them as well. Everything you read says that it's normal for men to sometimes feel jealous of their children. I don't understand it, but.......I know as well he feels very little control over anything right now, because it's me that keeps the schedule, knows the schedule, and makes the schedule run. He stands in the wings waiting for news of what's happening today. Not because he's an uninvolved father, but rather because he is our bread winner. I know he'd love to do more of the things that I get to with the children. Last night he was back to normal and being almost overly kind to everyone
( he gets that from his father---blow up one minute, bend over backwards for you the next) It's because neither one of them talk about anything. They just manage on their own. So unhealthy. I know DH is jealous of my "cyber" friends as well. He's always thought he is all I should need to talk to. Please....he works so hard that very little conversation happens between us all week and when we do have time to talk it's usually about the children. Anyway, for now life is back to normal. He needed to throw a snit which always helps him see how silly he's being. Not that I think his feelings are silly, but the thought that I can fix all that ails him is silly.....The two oldest had ball games this morning. The boys won one and tied one while the girls got their behinds handed to them. DD didn't take it well. She's definitely going through a "no matter what goes wrong it's someone else's fault" stage....It was good for the whole team though. They'd been winning every game and now they know you ALWAYS have to do your best and try harder. Thanks so much for listening to me vent. I hated that I'd left you hanging like that yesterday. You've been such a good friend.

Kristi

Hope your day is starting out bright! I woke up a little early....pain meds wore off. I'm glad DH settled down a bit. Mine was on my case all day...he must have felt bad, or stressed. DD came by & witnessed a little of the griping. Something she wasn't used to. She told me that men just couldn't handle stress as women can....& Lord knows, we're both stressed after 2 yrs of this rebuilding, & now, son's divorce. He wasn't mean. Just woke up finding fault in just about everything. I just let him gripe. Then, when we went to bed he acted as though nothing had been said. He was like, "I don't know what you're talking about". Men just don't vent to each other, as women do. Like you said, it's unhealthy.

Sorry DD's team lost. I know it's good for them to lose somtimes....it helps them to realize that it CAN happen. It's still not any fun, though.

How is things with your mother, now? I hope it's, at least, peaceful. I visited mine yesterday. She was in the wheelchair in the lobby with her head hung over the side, asleep. I'd never seen her that way before. I would wake her, just for her to go back to sleep. The main woman over the nursing home came to me & introduced herself. She told me that mother has regressed to a lower level. To not expect her to do as before her sickness this past month. Before, she was walking herself around in her wheelchair trying to "help" everyone. Smiling, etc. We have her in a private room now. It's much better on her & us also. My step-dad goes everyday & stays most of the evening with her. They watch TV together. His name was the only one she recognized yesterday. She usually knows me, after I remind her that she watches me each day on TV. It's a sad disease. My DD called last night & said she went by to visit her, after she left our house. Said she didn't know her, but, thought she was a little child & kept playing with her. Mother used to keep the twins for me to work, when they were very young. I imagine she's thinking of them as that age. At least, she was feeling better.

I also got the news that my aunt in Georgia has about 4 more weeks to live. There were 10 children in my dad's family. She was the youngest & the last one living. She had called my sister & I a few months ago, & told us of her cancer, but determined to beat it. She wanted to see my TV program...so they've been taping it at the station for me to mail to her. We had planned a family reunion for early fall, to see each other. She called my sister when I was in Texas, and told her that she is now bedfast, & DH has to do everything for her. We're hoping to go see her soon. Money is tight for my sister & myself...but, feel the need to make, at least, a quick trip. I just hope she doesn't suffer too much. Most of my dad's family died of cancer or heart attacks. My dad suffered really bad for 2 yrs with cancer before he died.

Didn't mean to sound doom & gloom....just telling news. Help me pray for them, if you will. I'm praying for you, my friend. I've got to go. DH's up, wanting breakfast. (maybe he's in a better mood today. )

Have a great day!

Dear Charlotte, Sorry to hear your mother has gone down hill. I imagine it will be a long spiral down before she's released. I wish you could be spared this pain. Also, praying for your family. Losing the last member of a generation would be very difficult. An end of an era so to speak. My mother is actually coming along really well. The her therapists work her very hard, but it's helped. She is now using only a cane most of the time. Her left arm still has very limited mobility and not much for strength. She is living alone again and making it though. Thanks for asking. We visited yesterday and I had to keep doing breathing exercises to stay in my seat. She was just so negative towards me once again. (what's new) I bought a couple new outfits this past weekend and whenever I tell her what size I bought she always says, "oh, they must've ran big" sp this time I was smart and didn't share with her what size I bought. I have to realize not to set myslf up for her attacks. No fuel to feed the fire coming from here lol....hope your hubby gives you a happy one!

Kristi

Hi there girl, I'm off to my hubbies cousin's wedding. Should be a good time. Tomorow I have to take DD to Bilble camp. We pick her up on Fri afternoon. She always really enjoys it and having one child leave always seems to add peace to the house, but by Fri everybody always wants her to be back home. It's nice to give them a chance to miss one another. Have a great weekend.

Kristi

Good morning Kristi,
It's a beautiful day here. Lots of sunshine. I'm so glad we got a break from the rain.
Sounds like you had a busy week end. Hope your DD enjoys bible camp as much as our children always did. That was the highlight of their summers.

I get a Remicade treatment today, so I'll be "out of it" for a couple of days. I usually get up between naps, & do a little posting, though. So, shouldn't be missing much. Hope you enjoyed the wedding.

Sorry your mother hasn't changed. I don't know why we keep expecting & hoping for a change. It would be nice, though, wouldn't it?!
You must have bought smaller sizes than usual....good for you!! Hey....tell ME...I'd loveto hear about it!! I ate too much on my trip....scared to get weighed today. I'll probably join the ranks of the dieting, instead of the maintaining! We were taken to a pie factory. Mary Fay (the singer we visited) bought us a large box of pies! We were in pie heaven!

Well, I've got to get dressed for my Dr's appointment. Have a good day. I'll post again first chance I get.
Your friend,

Mmmmmmm pie, gotta love it. Yes, I was able to buy size small in pull on shorts and tank tops and yesterday I picked up a pair of cheap jeans at Wal-Mart size 8 reg. I haven't worn sizes like this in 13 yrs. I'm very excited, because I actually feel stable and healthy enough mind wise to stay this size rather than let the world get to me and eat my way back to a 16. Which at 5' 2" is not a pretty sight. Carmen always loves Bible camp. When I dropped her off her group looked like a really nice group and one of the girls we spent a mother daughter weekend with last fall. So she allready sort of knew someone. This yr she will be staying in a tent with a wooden floor and they are responsible for cooking their own meals. Very different from the past 2 yrs. I think she'll really like it. The wedding Sat was beautiful. It's so obvious that they really love each other. I've sadly been to weddings when you knew it was a mistake, but not this time. It was truly a pleasure. Christian couple's weddings are always so much nicer anyway, because it was obvious that the pastor new them both personally and was pleased to be joining them. Well, it's off to ball so I will try to post again later and talk about you!!!

Friends, Kristi

I'm glad you got your treatment, but it sounds like you need to learn to except help from people. Shame on you for not taking someone to drive you. Thanks for all your cudos. It has been a long road for me. One I've walked many times. I seem to always sabatage myself at this point and start putting the weight back on. I lost 50 pounds back late '99 and early '00, but since then I have gained and lost the same 15 pounds every year. Last year I never did lose it all. I really believe this yr will be different. I've found great support from all my friends here at 3FC. I honestly don't think I'd have lost it this yr if I hadn't started posting here again. Well, I truly hope you're feeling better tomorrow. Hugs to you and prayers for you.

A friend, Kristi

Good morning Charlotte, So happy to hear you are feeling better. I think it's just a shame you have to endures such treatments to get relief. I hope they come up with a better way. It sounds like your DS was having some fun with his little girl. The toothfairie I find very stressful. I'm always afraid I will fall asleep waiting for the child to fall asleep and then forget!!!! Moms have enough pressure without having to be fairies as well lol lol Well, we're off to the library and then to visit my mom today because it's so noisy here. Workmen came yesterday and started residing my house. I picked light maple and am leaning toward wine colored shutters and doors!?!?!? Do you have any suggestions for me? Gotta run.
Have a great day my friend!

Kristi

Hi Kristi...
You got my mind rolling!!!! Yes....Light Maple siding & Wine shutters! I don't know what kind of door you have, but a wine door (you can paint it.) would make the shutters stand out! Are you in the country or in town? ( forgot) Paint the mailbox to match. Porch furniture can match with very little effort. Either paint, or printed cushions,or extra chairs that are wine. Flower pots that are wine sitting on the porch, or figurines in the yard or on the porch that have Light Maple & wine in them. An arch, if you have a place for one, would be beautiful! It's easy for me to spend your money! Pictures.....I need PICTURES!!

Hope everything went well at your mom's today. We had some very bad stormy weather here this evening, so I had to hurry home from work, instead of going to see mother. She's very sick again. I think they put a plastic diaper on her again. She's broke out in a rash again. Now, we're not sure if it's shingles starting over, or from the plastic. Poor woman is suffering.

Anyway, the storms got pretty bad. We had tornado warnings all evening. The lightning struck our house once, & the cord to the tv was sizzling & it went off. We thought it shot the tv. But, it came back on. A jumpy moment! Friends at the tv station called later to check on us. The meteorologist there watches out for our little wide spot in the road.

Well...getting sleepy. Hope you have a good evening.
Charlotte

Good morning AGAIN my dear friend, No, I have not been ignoring you. I have posted 2 morns in a row only to have them lost. Each, as this one will be, were long good posts. My children have been having problems playing their games as well. My post on an exercise thread went through and then blamo again. It's very frustrating. Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful suggestions. In theory I could do each and everyone, because I do live rural. I actually live just outside the town limits of a very tiny little "village". Pop. just over 200. Our little hamlet has one factory that makes different types of milk replacers for calves. They also have a test farm here where they raise some 200 calves year round. We have 2 convenience store/ gas stations, one of which is ours. We also sell farm supplys from custom mixed feed (DH's specialty) to penecillin! There are 2 taverns that serve food, a motel, a golf course w/club house, plus 4 other businesses. The reason we're so busy even though we're so small is, our little jewel sits smack at an intersection of 3 magor WI hwy. In all 3 directions there are other little towns just 4 miles away. In the town to the south the children go to school, our church is in the town to the north, and our favorite library and grocery store are located in the town to the west. So, I love where I live, because everything is within a min drive and yet I have NO neighbors...........DD came home from Bible camp yesterday. She was so excited about the house and the arrival of the baby chicks (54 of them) They're so cute and busy. Loads of fun to watch.............How did your sons "tooth fairy expedition" go? You sound as though you're feeling better after your treatment. I so wish you didn't have to undergo that so often, but I guess if it's what you need. I'm praying you will receive relief. Well, I'm gonna cut off and hope it posts. Maybe I can come back on later. Have a great weekend!!!

A friend, Kristi