I have never had a nice body so trying to uncover one is completely fascinating for me and I am enjoying the ride, despite being 39, married and with kids. That being said, you do store body fat in individual ways as another poster said and I am most amused about finding where this is on me. Belly and legs. Just like grandma! At 281lbs it was all over. Now I am stuck with the stubborn stuff!

It sounds like you are happy with whatever your body is turning out to be while stripping the fat. which is exactly how it should be. what messed me up in my younger years was wanting to be something other than what was genetically destined for me. that is the thrust of my earlier post stating that IDGAF anymore what happens, because i will be satisfied with how it turns out, as long as i am fit and happy. i won't fight my body shape anymore, and be sad bc i don't look like X model.

Hey OP, some women in my experience can bulk pretty easily and others cannot. I'm sure that statistically, the "bulk easily" crowd is a minority, but what if we fall under that minority? Doesn't change the fact that we have a higher chance of ending up where we might not want to be! So I totally get you. Personally, I can't bulk really - I'm just not built for it, but my sister has the body type to do so. I think that this article might be helpful for you - its by the "glutes" guy and he discusses a body type that I would like to have - (and he gives some suggestions in case you are the bulk type, and how to keep from getting that look - if you don't want it)

http://bretcontreras.com/how-to-atta...a-zoe-saldana/

My niece always has people asking her where she works out at. She doesn't. I have no idea where she gets it from but I didn't get that gene. I have a feeling if she did work out, she'd be one of those that would bulk up pretty quickly. Honestly, I wish I would. No, I don't want to look "manly" either, but I'd rather that I saw quick results when I start putting in the work.

I've always admired hourglass figures, but have never had and will never have one. Concurrently, I've always been envious of pear-shapes as well, because, to me anyway, it's a very feminine shape.

I wasn't always morbidly obese. Up through young adulthood, I was a serious athlete for years. Because of that, I already know what my physique looks like when I'm in great shape and lifting weights. I describe myself as an apple shape, and that's true, but erm compounding that is very broad shoulders, a broad back, and just a natural tendency to have muscular arms, etc. When you combine that with being slim-hipped and small-bootied, well, it's a manly sort of shape frankly. There is no way I could train in a way to overcome what nature has given me - maybe minimize it slightly, but that's about it. Those of us on the more extreme end of a body shape spectrum are just kind of stuck with it. I know it gets noticed (as you noticed the gal at the gym whose weight loss is revealing her true shape,) but there is not much I can do about it.

I also spent some time much thinner, leaner and also in good physical condition about (thinking...) 17 years ago (I'm in my late 40s now.) At the time I worked in an auto plant and also ran on the treadmill every couple of days. I used to get asked on a regular basis if I were a female bodybuilder >< I wasn't even lifting weights or anything other than physical labor at work! Even so, I aspire to get back to that physical condition. I felt really great then. Being healthy and fit is the main motivator for me, at my age. I rock what I got regardless. Since I will never be conventionally aesthetically pleasing, it's not something even on my radar.

I can't wait to start lifting weights and incorporating exercise. I'm starting for the first time this week, so excited! If someone ever asks me again if I am bodybuilding, I will be ecstatic, lol.

Your body type as your describe it is more of an inverted triangle. Learn more about your body shape here http://youlookfab.com/2006/04/18/the...-act%E2%80%9D/ Youloookfab is a nice website for fashion and learning how to dress your body type.

Wow, that was rude. I wasn't judging her in a way that was insulting or offensive? Maybe I didn't articulate the message very well, but that was not my intent. I mentioned before she's in much better shape and healthier than I have ever been (or will be since I don't want to take it that far). My preference is to keep a figure without looking flabby. I was not saying "Ew she's muscular now, what do I do to NOT look like that", I don't see why a few of you jumped to that conclusion.

I get that she worked for that shape, I was just asking what lifting/toning you could do to keep an hourglass figure without being flabby. Anyway, thanks for those with helpful responses.

IanG, I've heard, haven't actually checked sources for this that where you store fat the easiest, is the last to go? Or something along those lines. I just signed up for a personal trainer at the gym so excited to see what I can do with what I have!

Wannabeskinny, loved that link. I am totally an inverted triangle and never knew it! I was nodding my head along with the wardrobe suggestions, thanks!

I didn't think you were being insulting. And you're definitely not alone. I have many friends who don't emphasize core workouts/obliques because they don't want a wider waist. I have no expertise in that area to comment about lifting or toning but your best bet will be to tell your trainer what you want, and then hopefully direct you to your goal.

Good Luck!

Awesome article! Very interesting. Thanks for sharing

Is exactly what some people thought reading your original post. You decided it was acceptable to pick out what you deemed a flaw in another women's body and voice why something else looked better. Why? Because the women in the photos worked for that look, it's somehow okay? It is not acceptable to judge other women's bodies. You'd think being over weight yourself you would have experienced this and know better how it can hurt others doing that.

The next time someone say's you would look better if you "were not so heavy" "did not have such big thighs" "had a firmer butt" or "you would look prettier if you weren't so big" remember what you thought was acceptable to voice about women that workout, because they are do just what you are.

That's called getting a taste of your own medicine!



That is all

Just signed up for a personal trainer and guess who it is!! The girl from my gym! She is totally awesome too. Not exactly a personal trainer but she helps with meal planning things and some beginner exercise/weight training, I forgot her exact title but she is awesome motivation!

I actually showed her this thread and she wasn't insulted at all, and told me many girls want to know what it's between, so for those of you who were insulted, I'm sorry that wasn't my intent. I just wanted to clarify what I'm trying to achieve and why I never understood how women don't get bulky, because that is what *I* have seen. I'm not an expert on weight training, so I don't know what to do or what not to do when it comes to this, hence why I even wrote this in the first place.

She actually gave me the link to the article with Britney spears that was by the glutes guy! She training to be in a crossfit Reebok competition so she told me she's hoping to get a lot stronger and inevitably bigger and she understands it's not the norm for most women.

Her daughter actually diets/exercises to be lean and she said she will give me tips her daughter uses to slim down without bulking up, I don't think I've felt so happy leaving the gym before!

and honestly, some of you on here made me feel awful and sad for asking these questions. I came on here to ask advice and got attacked for making insults/poking flaws in people.

Diamond-Just wanted to post these responses and then I'm done here.

Honestly, I've asked this question on many other forums, weight training forums, facebook- no one has ever been so rude to me. I don't know why you think I'm being insulting (I truly don't). I'm allowed to have preferences for MY body, that was all I was asking advice for.

Don't leave just because you didn't like one person's answer. Your questions did come off in a way that some people would find not only insulting but a little passive aggressive too. For example you say "I know this topic has been discussed forever, but I just can't get a grasp on why people keep saying women who lift won't become manly looking." Some people would take that you mean that you've already heard the various reasons why people say that women can't bulk up but you think the opposite anyway and are challenging the facts that you've already heard.

You say "...how do people weight train without looking square??" This is also antagonistic because I'm pretty positive that not one single person, not even very serious athletes trains for the purpose of looking square. And since it has been discussed to death, it takes a whole lot of effort beyond just a work out per day in order to make your muscles that large.

Then you said "I hope I'm not being offensive-I know they've gone through tremendous work to look this way" - which states again that you already know how difficult it is to achieve that level of build, and it's easy to avoid if you don't want it.

You say " I feel like all the women who work out and have toned arms immediately look more square than the bottom half" - again with calling women square, and then making a sweeping judgement on all women who work out.

And the of course you say "I feel like all the girls who do squats also shrink their hips a bit (which I know is healthy) but also results in a smaller waist" - sweeping judgement and obvious lack of knowledge about what squats are meant for.

I really was not offended or insulted by your OP. But to continuously say that you don't mean offense and can't understand why any of these things are offensive... well ya that doesn't sit well with most people. I'm not personally offended but that's not exactly the best way to go about a conversation if you truly don't mean to insult anyone lol. More or less you're saying "please don't take this the wrong way, but why do you want to look like a man and what can I do so that I don't look like that at all?" So I hope your questions are all answered, it seems like you don't have much to worry about right? It can be confusing when you're first starting out but it sounds like you have an awesome trainer who will do her best to help you not look like her. Also, did you ever figure out what your body shape is according to that link I sent you?

I'm curious to hear this advice, thanks!