Inspired by Today's Walk. Enjoy!
6:45am
Mind: Get up!
Me: Oh……
Lower Back: Oh…. Lay here. Don’t anything. Please…. Yesterday’s run/walk did me in. Owie….
7:30
Mind: Get up!
Me: Okay, okay…
9:40
Me: It’s drizzling. It’s a quarter mile walk to the park… I don’t wanna work out in the rain.
Mind: Quit whining.
Ten minutes later, I finally arrive at the park…
Me: I’ll power walk to that bench. Then I’ll start running.
Two minutes pass…
Calves: Hey, hey! Are you mad at us? Cut it out!
Mind: Don’t listen. Keep going.
Heart: Yeah…
Lungs: Yeah…
Me: (panting) So hard…. So hard… Gotta…walk…now…
Lungs: Send the air!! SEND THE AIR!!
Few minutes later…
Mind: Run again.
Me: As soon as I get to that tree.
Mind: Now!
Calves: No! Later!
So I ran…
Me: I’m gonna stop when I get to that tree over there.
Mind: Nope! The next big tree….
Mind: I lied! Don’t stop! Two more big trees…
Me: Okay, I listened to you. Now I gotta walk….
Minutes later and almost a mile under my belt……
Mind: When you get to that tree, run again.
Me: I don’t think I should. That man doesn’t have his dog on a leash. What if it chases me?
Mind: That’s an excuse to not run. You make too many excuses.
Calves: Don’t run! The dog is gonna go for us first!
Mind: Run!!!
Me: But the dog might –
Mind: Do like The Dog Whisperer says. Become calm, assertive energy. Do it!
Me: When I run past that man, he’s gonna see my butt jiggle.
Mind: Everyone has seen your butt jiggle.
Butt: I’m tired of jiggling! I don’t want to jiggle anymore!
Mind: (to Butt) You’ve always jiggled. (to Me) RUN!!!
Me: Okay… “Hi puppy!!”
Two minutes later….
Me: (still running) I’m really doing this. And the calm, assertive thing works. Maybe I should read up on the principles of Buddhism.
Mind: Wouldn’t hurt.
Butt: Booty-ism? It’s about time! You don’t spend enough time thinking about me!
Mind: (to Butt) Dumbass….
Calves: Stop!
Mind, Lungs, Heart and Butt: Go!! Run until the woods run out!
Me: I can’t!
Calves: She can’t!
Mind: You WILL!!!
Moments later….
Me: (panting) It’s so hard now…
Mind: Quit crying! You’re walking now.
Me: I need a very long walk…
Lungs: AIR!!!!
After my long walk….
Mind: Run!
Me: My calves are tight.
Calves: We’re tight! We don’t like it!!
Mind: Run!!!
As I’m running….
Thighs: Hey….. We thought something was going on. Feels kinda good, we think. We’ll get back to you later…
Calves: It doesn’t feel good! We’re burning.
Me: I won’t listen to you Calves. I’m only listening to Heart and Lungs…
Calves: You’d better listen! You haven’t weighed 127 twenty years! You’re too heavy for this now!
Mind: Keep going.
Heart and Lungs: Keep going.
Me: 127…. I wonder if I could weight that again…
Mind: No!
Me: 130?
Mind: Umm… No!
Me: Sure I could
Mind: Reality…. CHECK!
Me: 140?
Mind: Totally Doable…
Calves: We would be happy even if you weighed 150. Do you know how much weight you’re forcing us to run under??? You weigh –
Me: SHUT UP!!!!!
Mind: Tell the truth and shame the devil…
Me: You shut up too!
Mind: LOL… You can walk now…
Moments later….
Mind: Look at where you are.
Me: I see the park entrance. I am almost at 2 miles!!!
Mind: No more complaints…. No more questions…. RUN!!!!
Me: (running out of the park) Kickass!!
On the way back…
Me: I’m gonna walk this quarter mile so slow….
Mind: That’s fine… Feel the gift I gave you?
Me: Ahhh….. endorphins…..
Mind: You seriously gonna try for 140?
Me: Yeah
Mind: Then you’d better skip the garlic bread you plan on eating with dinner tonight.
Me: How did you know I was going to have garlic bread?
Mind: You’re kidding, right?
Lower Back: You will hear from ME first thing tomorrow morning!!
Back at the house…
Me: Levi is looking at me. He knows where I’ve been.
Mind: No he doesn’t.
Levi: I know where you’ve been!!!
Me and Mind: When did you start talking!
Levi: (wagging his tail) I wanna walk! You owe me a walk! Walk! Walk! Walk! You said I’m a good dog! I’m a good, good dog!!
Me: I gotta sit for a while…
Mind: Stretch… Sit for 45 minutes. Then take the dog to the park and walk him for a mile. When you get back have me examined.
Calves: Walk the dog???!!
(To Be Continued…….)