[Flamethrower]

I've been doing this f***ing anti-candida diet for nearly 5 months now, and while, yes, the pain is far better than it used to be, and yes, I have more energy, and I don't only take a dump once a fortnight, it feels like nothing has improved because the one symptom that effected me the most still hasn't gone away, and that's the bloating.

It's horrible, and no one seems to realise the psychological effect it's having on me and the way I see my own body. Last time I went to see my doctor, he said he would have the practice's councilor ring me. It's been over a week and I've still heard nothing. I'm convinced they think I have an eating disorder. I've actually had one of the doctors there and a nurse at my previous college tell me that I definitely have an eating disorder and am making up symptoms like bloating and pain as an excuse not to eat.

I'm worried I might ACTUALLY develop an eating disorder because of the way food makes me feel thanks to think stupid thing I can't seem to be able to control, no matter how healthily I eat.

I've had no alcohol since New Year's (a difficult thing to do when you're 19 and you work in a bar), I live on unprocessed meat, vegetables, brown rice, oats, eggs and water. I don't eat anything or take any pills with yeast in them and I don't eat anything with any additives, preservatives, emulsifiers or any of that other crap.

AND I take eight, EIGHT different supplements, vitamins and probiotic type things every single day, all recommended by my nutritionist who also constructed my diet.

I would be fine with all that if I didn't wake up every morning looking like I'm pregnant. After all the hard work I did to lose weight, it just seems so unfair. I'm healthier than anyone I know, but I'M the one gets landed with this bloody disease that doctors think isn't even real. I get teased by my work colleagues when I can only eat a small salad because I can't eat anything else in the work canteen. I can't enjoy my life. All my friends constantly ask "WHEN WILL YOU BE ABLE TO DRINK AGAIN?" and have to remind me constantly that I can't drink or eat normally by doing so.

I don't even want to eat fast food again, I would be happy to mostly stick to this diet for the rest of my life if I could only drink alcohol and not worry about bloating again.

And to top it off, I've gone from 112lbs to 119lbs in the past week and I have no idea why. And my PCOS seems to have come back because I haven't had a period since January or December or something. Which makes NO SENSE because my diet is healthier than it was when I first RECOVERED from PCOS 3 years ago. I took a month's worth of Evening Primrose Oil and nothing sodding happened.

Rant over Advice would be appreciated but since nothing seems to work, I guess I'm doomed to forever look fat.