I don't know if anyone remembers that old Simpsons episode where the family goes to the convenience store after church for free samples instead of a sunday brunch/lunch, but that's basically my family. Only all the time. I say no, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.

"Yha, try one."
"I'm ok, mom, I don't need any."
"Why don't you try one of those?"
"I'm fine."
"Just try it."
"I don't want it."
*rant about how I can't cut everything out, etc*
"I'm not HUNGRY."
"We're doing lots of walking- you'll be fine!"

This is the point where I can sometimes get a little nasty and act like a little brat. But I was so frustrated yesterday. I told her "I don't want any freaking brownies, I don't like this crap and I'm not hungry so stop asking me!" Luckily my mom is just like me and things dont' easily bother her.


I didn't bother to explain that walking around in a store trying samples of this and that could really screw me up calorie-wise, because I have a problem with not being able to stop, and she knows it. I just don't know how to get them to understand. I don't want xxx amount of xxx because it's on sale, I don't want it at all. I know I used to like it, but I'm learning to eat healthier, and do I really NEED xxx boxes of chocolate covered raisins? I think I'll be okay.

Another thing is when we go out to eat (once or twice a month), I portion my food out ahead of time then box the rest up. It's gotten really hard eating with them because they complain that I make them look weird, and why can't I just eat like a normal person, etc.

It's like my family remembers all the things I USED to eat, and insists that I still eat them, even if I genuinely don't like them anymore.

"Here, I bought these brownies for you."
"What? Why?"
"You like brownies, don't you?"
"I guess, but I don't really want any."
"Why not?"
"..."
"It's just a brownie, try one."

I didn't eat one. They seem to get mad when I don't want to eat things. And my mom is NOTORIOUS for getting something HUGE and then expecting me to finish it. "Well I got the whole pizza because I thought you'd finish it."

Well you thought wrong.

I don't think they're trying to sabotauge me, but I just don't know what's going on with them. It's never a look at the big picture, it's always "a little xxx won't hurt!" or "you can't cut everything out!"

I get this a lot from a lot of people so I also feel for you. I think it has to do with them not wanting anything to change? I dunno. This time of year is hard because there's an endless supply of occasions and activities. Yesterday, my friends threw a surprise bday party for me so I felt like I HAD to eat. I filled my plate and picked at the food. Then, my friend got these amazing cupcakes from a very famous shop....she drove really far just to get these cupcakes in so many different flavors. I ended up only having a few bites of that too so it was all good. But, it messed with my head because at night, I had a major urge to binge. Instead, I overate by a little but not anything major. Normally, I would have probably binged.

Sorry to go off on a tangent. If you can survive this period of time, the rest will be a lot easier (until the next year, that is!).

Thanks for this post! I learned a whole lot from it.

Cheers to you!

My mum constantly constantly said "but you used to like..." to me until one day I said to her you know what, I used to like breast milk, I used to like rusk, I used to like luke warm jars of mashed cabbage but life moves on. She finally said fair point and left me to it. She is still a feeder, and tries to force on me anything she wants but is not allowed herself - she's convinced herself that being diabetic means she can't ever have anything sweet so rather than properly research it she obsesses about our visits and buys whatever ice cream is on special and gets cross if we won't eat it all because then she has to put it back in her freezer. Like - what?!

She's also obsessed with quantity. She took me shopping to choose some compulsory ice cream and made me pick only from the flavours on special 2 pints for the price of one. Both pints were to be eaten before we went home from our weekend visit between only 3 people and I didn't like ANY of the flavours, but it would be "silly" to choose the single pint that is the same price as the two pints of ones you don't like. Then when I didn't want to eat it all she got cross and said I chose it - I selected the least bad one from a selection already made for me, if I'd chosen I'd have chosen Ben & Jerry's but she actually gets angry that people buy ice-cream that is so expensive when you can have a whole vat of something disgusting for a quarter the price. This is all back when I was eating badly too, even back then I wouldn't eat 2 pints of ice cream just because they were cheap. The mind boggles. She also cannot understand that you can like something without feeling the need to eat all of it, if you don't eat the whole pint of ice-cream "oh I thought you liked ice-cream" and maybe there's a bit of that going on for your family too?

Now she is moving on to trying to overfeed my daughter, telling me that it's a grandmother's prerogative to spoil her grandchildren. I agree a little, an occasional treat will not hurt, but an occasional treat should be a child-sized chocolate, not the biggest value most special offer you can get. If you want to treat this child buy a wide selection of fruit and give her free reign, trust me she will not distinguish between chocolate and fruit in terms of treat value, why teach children that only candy is "a treat"?

I'm not sure if you ever win with parents, but the breast milk one was effective in at least cutting out the "but you used to eat..." thing. Oh, and I also explained to her that people are constantly revising recipes so it's not always me that's changed, I used to like those potato shape things because they were nice. They re-released them in the same packaging but with a "great new recipe" that is revolting, so it's not always my "fault" that I no longer eat the things I used to, so that may cover some distance too, but obviously is no good if they know for sure nothing has changed or if it's something you have yet to try.

Wearing, isn't it? I think people with disordered food behaviours simply can't understand saying no to food which is free and tasty, just because you don't want any what sort of reason is that not to eat it, it's free.

Hahaha!! I LOVE this!

Yes, I sympathize too. I've learned to take it and then throw it away or directly say no and just let them deal with it. It's not my problem... what is my problem is when I put it in my mouth and then those extra calories turn into pounds that then take me forever to take off.

My family shows their love through food. My mother still gives me too much food. She argues she gave me half a cup of brown rice when I'm looking at full cup, PACKED. I know she means well, but I simply have learned to leave it on the plate or throw it away.