It's finally hit me. I can never have children. Ever. The weight gain due to premature menopause means nothing, I'd rather weigh 100 lbs more and be able to hold my child in my arms for the first time. All of this health means nothing when I will never have a family to share it with. And so I binged, I was doing so well and I binged. I wasted every effort I made and I'm back into the starving/overeating cycle again. Go me. Is anyone else experiencing this? :/ x
No I never experienced what you are going through, but I am very sorry you are going though such a terrible time right now. Please don't give up hope though. You might not be able to hold your own blood/birth child, but there is a baby out there that would love for you to be it's mommy. Don't lose sight of the different path your were chosen to take.
I'm very sorry for your loss. And yes, it is a loss. Please don't make yourself feel worse than you already do by bingeing and harming your body. I pray that you will come to a place of peace within yourself.
Again, I am very sorry for what has happened to you.
Gwen
Sweetheart, you can have a baby, somewhere there is a baby who needs you just as much as you need him or her. I have one adopted child and one biological child and will tell you truthfully there is no difference in my love for these two boys. I received just as much joy raising my adopted son as I did my birth son. He is my son in every way. And they are brothers in every way,I have friends who have also adopted and they will tell you the same thing.
Lori Bell, Justbeu && Bargoo - Thankyou so much for the support. I guess today hit me harder than ever, I know there's adoption but I'm in the self-pity mode where I just keep thinking why me? I'm still too young to have a baby now it's just knowing I can't do it kills. I think I'm just feeling down on my luck because I've experienced so many health problems over the last couple of years, many self inflicted I know. I just hope I can get back on track tommorow because I ruined 2 weeks work in a few hours. I just don't know if I'll wake up with better motivation. I need to get over myself really badly :/.
I'm so sorry for you and want you to know that you aren't alone. I have unexplained infertility and was beginning to think I would never be a mom (had to go on meds for anxiety) and then we turned to adoption. I am happy to say that I have a wonderful 2 year old son and 1 year daughter.
Yes, I was/am in the same situation; we tried and tried and I just kept having miscarriages (the last time was twins). Now, I am well into the menopause phase of my life; we accepted and adjusted to our destiny. You are going thru a grieving process right now: the whatcouldhavebeens and whys; and that is perfectly normal.
Just give yourself some TIME, as it really does heal grief well. You are also young so you can look forward to adoption in the future. There are many, many babies and young children out there that need loving parents; so always keep that in mind too.
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 03-02-2010 at 08:00 PM.
hey, i believe i'm in the same boat-
due to a combination of fibromyalgia, endometriosis, and a severe eating disorder i've had on and off since i was 7 (i'm now 22), i expect to be infertile. it took a while for me to accept this. but the thought of loving an unwanted baby and giving it all the love and support i have in my heart is extremely comforting. i've come to the point where i no longer even want biological children (well, more along the lines of whatever happens is meant to be). it doesn't seem fair to me considering the scary state of the world (which is a completely other topic) when i could open my home to a child already here.
Thankyou so much to all of you. Your stories are inspiring and I guess some of us just have different paths in life to others. I now know that me giving an unwanted child a home would be just as good and I'd love him/her the same. I now understand that there's more than me and it's just uncontrolable. Again, thank you x
I'm so so so sorry you are feeling down. I have to second, third, fourth fifth what everyone else has said. When your ready to be a mom, there will be a child somewhere waiting for you and wanting you as much as you want them.
My husbands grandma adopted all four of her children and the love they have as a family is just amazing. It is like they were just meant to be together. The family dynamics are incredible.
*hugs* I also will never have my "own" biological children. You still can be the healthiest you and you still can have a child to love. I have the miracle and luxury of having stepkids in my life. They are amazing - I love them and they love me. And yet I don't have them all the time so I have the best of both worlds. I know how lucky I am to have them, even if I feel sad at times that I will never have my own. You can still love a child and be the best you. Hang in there sweetie, mourn your loss and then put that energy to another use when you are ready.
I am just reading this now but wanted to tell you that I was told at 25 that I would never have my own children most likely (due to a pituitary tumor).
It turned out this was not true and I did give birth to 2 children, but I still had in the back of my mind that I would like to adopt.
3 years ago we adopted a beautiful 2.5 year old boy and he has fit perfectly into our family.
I also was adopted at birth.
Just a bit of encouragement on the adoption thoughts.
I think, back in my 30's I had a long period of remorse that I never had kids. I felt like I should have had kids. Kids were never a big goal of mine, nor motivation, and I didn't think about the fact that I was childless much. I did not go out of my way to do anything that would get me kids. I can have kids-- all the plumbing works, but I have this men/sex problem. I think I would only cry over that in odd moments of grief. I would more likely cry that I never had my work hung in the Louver, or never went to the pyramids. I don't mind the fact that my genetic makeup is not in the gene pool. Why? Maybe I am weird, but I am destined to be unique and die out like the dinosaurs.
I had premature ovarian failure in my early 30's. I have friends who think it must be great to not have to deal with your menstrual cycle and all that but I feel like less of a woman. Plus we get to deal with health issues that women in their 50"s have. I really wanted children too. I have a beautiful son who is almost 13. He has been in my custody for over 9 years now and has been with me off an on from 6 months old. I am now in the processing of adopting him. He IS mine. In some ways I think he is more mine because we chose each other. Don't despair. I know exactly how you are feeling but there are other ways to have children and although you will miss out on being pregnant and delivery - the rewards and joy of having your child through other methods will be AMAZING !!!!!!
I Want To Cry.
x
