Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
I dont know what to do anymore. I try diets all the time everyday and none of them work . I am an overweight teen and it sucks so bad. Who I want to be I feel I never can beacause pepole will never take me as serious as they would a skinny girl or as my mom refers to them " Skinny minnies" She told me , that I'm sorry but I dont think you will ever be one on those girls, when I watch a dancer. She doesnt mean it in the way it hurts me.
I want to travel the world, own art gallery's , live in new york ,but me right now 190 lbs, in high school , doesnt have much hope for me. I want to be happy. Have a boyfriend . Turn heads at a coffee house. I have so much more to offer boys than the girls I see the hot ones with and it hurts. I have things like a mind that thinks of other things than lipgloss and purses. Mine thinks or cappachinos and books.
I wish I could fit into the dresses my best friends can . When we try on dresses at the mall and they say here try this to each other or borrow clothes. I cant im too fat.
I would classify myself as a psycological eater . I say ok today I am counting carbs, or calories or fat precentages . Today I am on the atkins or some other diet then it fails on me . I get a headace everyday over it , cry in my room , wipe my tears and get some visine and no one notices it . My mom constantly buys really cool ice cream and then will make brownies or cookies along with that , then tell me if I dont want any dont have any . like its that easy when I complain to her about it.
I dont want to be my parents. I dont want to be 44 and 250 lbs eating ice cream on the couch. I want to be 44 and 118 lbs eating carrots on the couch after a strenuous workout.
I do workout , alot. I like to get up in the A.M and jog sometimes and finish of with 300 crunches on the ab ball then take a 10 minute walk with my mom occassionally. But it doesnt do squat. ( I also do those sometimes. )
I eat breakfast and something small for lunch at school then come home an hour later and am starving to death and I eat alot . Kapowie there goes my diet. We do have fruits and veggies in the house and I eat those but nothing ever changes , and I swear I have gained weight. I dont have a scale but I have gained weight I know it.
I want to be happy. I dont want to be that one girl anymore but be that hot girl , or that girl who lost 50 lbs and is smokin' now! And I feel I never can be . I sometiems go throwup a meal ( but not often ) or starve myself the entire day at least once a week.
I look at my rolls on ym stomche and i disgust myself. I cant be me anymore. I look at my legs and a single tear runs down my cheek. No more I say then come the ice cream bowl.
Ive told my mom before but im sick of telling her. She says you dont liek yourself make a change but then when i suggest buying something like slim-fast or helping me with nutri-system she says no you just need to eat healthy and shes wrong cause I already do .
Thats where I turn to this site cause if I dont do something soon , I dont know how much longer i can take me.
wait you said your MOTHER buys this stuff? If she gives a damn about your well being she will quit buying that! She is not doing you any favors. When there is temptation it is hard to resist, believe me I know! My husband doesn't gain anything, he can eat what he wants, it annoys me to death...and if my parents have us over for dinner my mother ALWAYS offers him the cupcake, and it's not that I need it because I don't but I sometimes feel like it's a blantant slap in the face when she does that! Her attitude is "if you don't want it then why should you care if he eats it?" Well.. the problem is I DO WANT IT! But.. I KNOW I should NOT have it... and why give it to him in front of me since this is a big issue for me???
The trick is moderation in everything. Slimfast and Atkins are very restrictive programs and generally don't work in the long run (for most people). I belonged to a low carb board for a long time and still know people on that board. They repeated try low carb and fail. It's just not for everyone, but does work long term for a select few.
In your circumstances, I would suggest you calorie count. Using on line calculators, learn your basal metabolic rate, which is the number of calories you need to sustain your current weight with your current lifestyle (very active, moderately active, sedentary). When you have that number, subtract 500 calories. That number is the number of calories you would need to eat daily to lose a pound a week. (Because 3500 calories equals 1 pound and 7 days x 500 calories is 3500). You can lose more by adding exercise to the mix. Also as you build muscle, your body will burn more calories even at rest.
So, look at this as a lifetime change. Read labels, journal your calories and your exercise, don't have too many "can'ts" or "don'ts" and the scale will go down over time. There is no quick fix. Even if you woke up 80 pounds thinner tomorrow, you wouldn't be able to maintain the loss until you learn how.
There are so many tools on the internet for you to use.
It sounds like your being really hard on yourself. Is 118 pounds realistic for you? Acceptance is so important. There is a fine line between acceptance and denial. What I mean is that it's so important to be the best that you can be, but if you are meant to be a size 8 then hoping to be a size 2 may not be very caring towards yourself. does that make sense?
yeah . My mom basically makes the stuff for everyone and being that my sister is pregnat she likes to make and buy that stuff for herself and my sister . But That is my long term goal 118 but my short term is 20lbs off. I just dont really know how to get started. Yes I am hard on mysel cause if I dont realize the problem to myself than I will never change anything .
You might try to check out books from the library and really research which program could work best for you. Personally, I've had great success with low-carb eating but many others think it is too restrictive. It all depends on your lifestyle and preferences. Good luck and wishing you the best. It does sound like you are doing great with exercise which is a giant step in this battle.
There is a short book called The Overfed Head by a guy named Rob Stevens. He lost 140lb in a year and half after countless diet. The information in the book will surprise you. He also has a website called Thintuition.
I wish I had more time to write but wanted to respond when I read your post...
I am 5ft 7 and in my adult life have been as low as 116 and as high as 179. What I have found is that there is no real trick or easy way, but to just make lifestyle changes ... move more and eat healthy... sounds easy but it isn't. I am currently doing the Fat Smash diet and incorporating whole foods because it is a healthy approach.
Start slow...
Start by removing items from your diet that are not good for your body - spend the next couple weeks taking out soda, alcohol, sugar, fast food, red meat, and any kind of dessert except some dark chocolate (over 70% cacao 0 let yourself have a small piece each day - will fix any sweet craving and is actually good for the heart. Start adding in fruits and vegetables and lean sources of protein. Think about what you are eating - don't think "diet" think "lfestyle"- what am i putting in my body? am i eating foods in their most natural form? or am i eating processed foods. Think about fueling your body with what it will make it run the absoute best. Also think about what you drink, try to drink as much water as you can.
weigh in once a week but try to not get too wrapped up in what the scale says until you can really start changing what you are putting in your body. Most experts will say to get permanent weight loss you don't want to lose more than 1 pound per week. yea, I am hoping for a 5 pound loss in two weeks with fat smash, but if I just lose two over the next two weeks I will see that as a success. Also take measurements becuase you may start to see a change in inches before you see a change in pounds, especially if you start moving...
then start walking every day. If you can walk outside,early in the morning that is great it will kick start your metabolism.*the reason i say outside is becuase the sunshine with help if you are feeling depressed. Be sure to stretch & make realistic goals - at first go a few blocks and then work your way up to miles - figure out where you heart rate needs to be, but ease into it. your muscles will be sore but it will pass.. push yourself more each week.
give youself goals weekly that aren't focused on a number on the scale but on thinks le - this week i give up soda and drink only water - this week i dont' eat any sugar - the next week add that walking then the next week up the veggies -the next week look at a video like "walk away the pounds" or "lift weights to lose weight" eventually - you will be eating healthy whole foods, doing cardio routinely, lifting weights (adding this will burn fat also and strenthen bones) and maybe eventually yoga for flexibilty. But my point is to attain small goals every week - working toward a healthy you and the skinny you will come in a very healthy, permanent form.
I have yo-yo dieted for years, trying all kinds of crazy stuff but now I am ready to really just focus on my health and not the scale. And suddenly the pounds are dropping - slowly, yes, but they arent' coming back. And the thing is, if it takes me a year - well - i can be in the same place I am now next year or I can be healthier and lean.
Doing this -thinking long term health and not short term skinny will not only work but you will be healthier in the long run. I wish I had changed these habits at 19 and not only now in my late 30s. I will be 40 in two years and sure I want to be 128 by then but I also want that healthy glow to my body and skin and life that only comes from a healthy lifestyle.
I guess my only other advice would be to start with knowledge from reputable sources - health magazine, cooking light, self, shape,(get them at the library if you can) this fourm, etc..keep a journal...invest in good walking shoes - - keep people around you that are going to support you. watch tv shows taht have good information and are motivating like Celebrity Fit Club, Queer Eye (they are doing a weight loss month of shows that I find very motivating).
But just stay within the day and week - make attainable goals each week and don't punish for mistakes... just move on from them and learn from them.
sorry for the poor typing - so much to say and not a lot of time but good luck and keep your chin up - you can DO this!!!
I was in such a hurry that I had missed the part where you said that you are working out. So I am sorry that I missed that. But I wonder if race walking would burn more for you - it is better for your joints and when I am overweight I feel like I can go longer and get a better workout if I am race walking rather than jogging.
The only other advice I have is to stay away from processed foods - even if they say 'fat free" they may have hidden fats - trans fats - and also if you really really are working out and eating healthy and managing portions and are either just maintaing or gaining then I would see a physician for a full physical and bloodwork to just be sure that there isn't a metabolic disorder that is working against you. Find a GOOD doctor (they are hard to find) and be honest with him/her about all of your habits - they can point you in the right direction if there is something you are missing.
Stay on the course and stay strong and you WILL NOT be your parents and you WILL be healthy, fit and strong. YOU CAN DO THIS!!
Again, so sorry for responding before when I had missed the part where you are working out. I read where you talked about your dreams and ambitions and how hard it is to see the guys go after the dumb girls that can only talk about lipgloss and purses and I identified with you so i jumped in with a reply. But the best thing I can tell you is that it is all within you and that you can be anyone and anything you want to be. All of your dreams can and will come true.
...my husband and I have been together for 12 years and he has seen me at 116 and 179 and every pound in between. He has loved me through it all. He has never had a weight problem and is very fit. There are many, many men that want a woman with brains, becuase let me tell you, a good solid relationship is based on far more than what is on the outside.
But to be honest, most 19 year old boys are just that, boys. So dont' let a boy's opinion get you down, because you want a good man in your life, not a boy.
and -sorry if this is disjointed but DON"T starve yourself . Skipping meals will just make your body gain because you are telling it that you are starving so it will hold on to every calorie it can. starving doesn't work, vomiting doesn't work. thinking of your long term health DOES work.
I read your post and it just broke my heart. I wasnt the "heavy girl" in high school, but i was the "deformed girl". I had a condition called JRA and a cathedral palate...basically your jaw and nose looks like a wolfs snout....very ugly. When I was 15 the Dr's started doing multiple procedures to correct it...I went through periods of black eyes and heavy bruising all around my face, jaw wired shut, bolts sticking out of my jaw line, large metal contraptions attached to my head....on and on for about a year and 1/2....kids are horrible when someone is different. I was called "frankenstein" "wolf girl" people would howl at me in the halls....really awful. Some things I realized as an adult is this.....high school is unlike any social event you will ever encounter again in your life....If i was at work and people were harrassing me the same way, they would lose their jobs. High school is SHORT...its 4 years out of 75 that you can be expected to live. I much prefer "peaking" as an adult (and I havnt even gotten there yet) than as a highschooler...Ive met the people who where the hotshots in highschool...those were the best years of their entire lives and they still live there. Many of them have weight problems as adults. Our homecoming queen is now the most repulsive woman I think I have seen in a long long time (and im not talking weight...im talking just general hygene...shes gross and smells bad and has a crack habit...ran into her in the store not long ago.....could not BELIVE it was the same person)...which goes to show you that the secret of aging well is to be a good person...it comes out on your face when you get older.
Most health professionals will not even do a BMI on a teenager. The reason for this is that your body is still growing and changing daily. I had two cousins who were very overweight at the start of high school, and are thin as adults....dont let anyone tell you what you may or may not be in the future. You are young, you could even be our first female president, cure cancer, win a gold metal in the decathalon...who knows? certainly not me...or even you....or your mom.
As far as weight loss goes here would be my advice to you:
1. DONT FAST...your body is in metabolic overdrive and is carrying a ton of excess hormones right now. Fasting is going to tell it to hang onto every calorie it can because it may need the fuel later.
2. STOP beating yourself up. From your post you seem like a kind intelligent kid, and a good friend...these things are far far more important in the long run than weather you wear a size 6 or not. Thin does not equal happy...and there are LOTS of people who will tell you that from personal experience. Overweight people do not have the corner on the market on unhappiness. EVERYONE has something. When you are out of high school, you are going to realize that there are alot of men out there who like some meat on a woman...you WILL have a boyfriend. Right now just focus on your acedemics and college...that is your primary job after all.
3. Call your doctor (he/she will talk to you) and discuss what you are feeling about weight loss and and about your mother and support at home. What a kid cant get an adult to do...sometimes another adult can make them aware of. Your doctor will also be able to recommend a plan that is going to work for your needs. You are still growing...Slim Fast, and Atkins are awful for you...you will end up messing up your body in the long run. If you think overweight is no fun...try osteoporosis...you want a hunch on your back? Or how about a nice goiter? Is that more attractive than a few lbs?
4. Try to get back in touch with your hunger/full signals. Before you eat, ask yourself "am I hungry or just eating"? Have what you want (with an eye to nutrition you need your vitamins and minerals) and ENJOY it. Smell it, taste it, chew it...eating is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, and you HAVE to do it for the rest of your life. Dont eat too fast. It takes the stomach about 20 minutes to send signals to your brain that you are full (how many times have all of us said "im full" at a meal, only to be completely uncomfortable in 1/2 hr and way way OVER-FULL instead?), so take your time. Stop before you are truly "FULL", just when you arent hungry anymore...if you are hungry later, there is always more food...its not going anywhere, so go eat...and enjoy it. I found this very helpful for me, it helped me learn portion control.
Good luck! its not that hard once you get past the self abuse and guilt...you are a smart young lady...you are capable of weight loss...and much much more.
Everyone has given you wonderful advice. Losing weight on your own is hard, but when you have friends and family members who are unsupportive it's even more difficult.
Have you tried discussing the issue with a gym teacher at school? Perhaps you could join a sports team or get advice from athletes in your school. It would be a good idea to surround yourself with people who are going to motivate you and point you in the right direction.
Finding activities to do outside the home might be a good way of getting away from your family's negative influence.
I'm sorry that you're going through this right now and I hope everything works out for you.
Hello and I'm so sorry for all your struggles. It honestly sounds as if you need some medical help from a qualified professional to work through this. I highly encourage you to consider this.
No im doing ok right now. I am just so upset with myself. My self esteeme is so low i dont even know what it should feel like anymore. I liked your stories about the hoigh school hotshots being ugly and lsoes. I am not a total loser at school I just am not on the ballot for most attractive and most popular ya know? I am very intelligent , I am going to graduate early I juts wanna get on with my life.
I'm pretty much done. With everything .!
