I hope this isn't counterproductive to anyone else's weight loss journey, but I feel like I need to get some things off my chest, like admitting I have the problem in order to work through it. I'm also too embarrassed to admit some of this stuff to my husband or friends, so here goes....Some of the worst things I did when I was at my worst diet stage.....

Impulse items at the grocery checkout? I would always volunteer to run to the store (alone) to pick up miscellaneous items, but would get a candy bar or two to cram in on the drive home...at one point I would pick up two or three King sized bars. Or a box of Little Debbie cakes.

I would stop at the donut shop on the way home from work in the mornings, choose 4 or 5 of my favorites, "my son LOVES this one", "how bout one of THOSE for my hubby" but they were always for me...and sometimes to have one or two for when I woke up.

Passing a McDonalds was snack time to me! I would salivate thinking about the greasy, salty double cheeseburgers...only one dollar! I didnt even have to be hungry, I just craved them like mad, one time ate three of them in one sitting, then discovered those yummy strawberry milkshakes....omg. I could go to any fast food place for dinner for the family but would always get myself "an extra" to eat before I got home, or any ice cream or dessert. Then my kids started getting big and "mommy I wanna ice cream too" or "daddy, mommy ate an ice cream on the way home and didnt get us one!"

One night, a coworker and I were all depressed about something, so we went to a late night store, bought all the cookies/cakes/chips we could, went and sat in a parking lot, ate our troubles away....I still get a bit queasy thinking about all the crap we at that night!

Working at the all you can eat buffet, well let's not get started there, but man was everything good fresh out of the oven, before landing on the buffet! I think it was so dangerous working around food, even though I was skinny when I started that job (high school thing) but seriously, we ate the whole shifts, and drank pop out of the fountain, always having a full pop in front of us!

I won't go into details of the pizza/beer years at college.

So theraputic to air my shames!!! Its funny, humiliating and lifting to just put it all out there.....thanks for listening!!!

Don't be ashamed, not infront of us, thats for sure I'm glad you feel better getting it off your chest.

I've done some pretty shameless things myself lolol, like walking out of a Weight Watchers meeting and going to the store to buy yodells and cashews before hitting burger king... yuck!

When I walked back and forth to work, I'd pick up a few groceries (and a chocolate bar for me) and eat the chocolate bar before I got within sight of our house.
I could be doing that again because nobody ever goes with me to the grocery anymore. But I don't ..... One day, you'll realise that that is an old habit ... a gone old habit.

I have done a lot of shameful things too where food is concerned. It is good to get it off your chest. None of us can judge you, we've all been there or we wouldn't be here. Good luck on breaking those bad habits, it can be done. Congratulations on recognizing the problem and dealing with it.

I am so glad you posted. It is so good to know there are other folks out there that have done the same things as me. I used to do the exact same things and think, what is wrong with me? I am so gross. There is such a comfort in knowing I am not alone.

Also, know that you can break that cycle. Good luck on your journey.

Thanks for posting. I also have had some of the same kinds of moments.

Congrats on your lifetime goal by the way. You're doing so awesome!

NurseMichelle,

I think you ARE me.
earlier this month my husband and son went on vacation and I thought, great time to diet right? Wrong. I had a ball eating at as many fast food restaurants as I could, ordering whatever I wanted, cramming it all, because I had hours of guilt free, judgement free alone eating time.
It disgusted me AS I ate the food, but good God I didn't stop.
Just the other day I was going on errands to my girlfriends house and though, wow it's a 6 minute drive, I SO could eat a few donuts in that time.. and DID.
It scares me that I started to eat likes this, in secret. But it's also funny, when I picture myself... what how I was rationalizing everything then.

Thank you for bringing this up and out of us. I feel better having shared my secret binges with someone, now maybe I too can stop.

Yep like me and Taco Bell! The problem is when you are in the mode, you KNOW it's a disgusting habit but how do you stop from reverting back to it when something in your life goes wrong?? That is what my problem is! When I am in the mindset (and once I figure all of my other **** out) I'll be there again I am good and diligent about losing weight but once I start getting out of the mindset like I did this spring....and if something in your life goes wrong, I find myself back there again and back here now...

Oh, I can tell stories like this, too ... 2 sausage/egg/cheese McGriddles with juice and potato cakes for breakfast, "sneaking" food before my family sees (and disposing of the evidence!), fast-food dinner AND Cold Stone for dessert, and a candy-bar or two with a diet soda later on that evening.

These horrible habits have mostly disappeared as I lost 70 pounds, but unexpected changes in schedules can quickly throw you right back into it. I am just now coming off a week-long "slip" (okay, it was actually 9 days).

this post brought back memories for me. I used to binge like this when I was younger a lot .. I used to cook a whole pan of brownies and eat the whole thing before anyone would get home.. order a large pizza and eat the whole thing.. buy 2 boxes of little debbie snacks and eat them all in one sitting.. I used to do some pretty horrible things. These habbits did not follow me when i got married but the weight did as I got older. We only learn from the things we go though and hopefully be become better stronger people out of these experiences.

BTDT and then I've BTDT WITH MY FAMILY... we used to have family binges where we would all go out to different places and get what we wanted, bring it back and share.... how sad is that?

Been there, done that with lots of those... and similar... things too! Glad you are here and on your weight loss journey! Congratulations on your loss... you will love it more and more as those pounds GONE add up!!!

Thanks you guys so much for all the support!!! A quick apology (sort of) though, while browsing the site I found the threads all about bingeing in the Chicks in Control section...very enlightening...I always knew I couldn't resist the "impulse" to do these things but I am only just now putting that label on it..."binging"....in the back of my mind I always thought that referred to "binging and purging" and I never could bring myself to actually purge, so I never admitted to myself consciously or subconsciously but that is what it was all along....admitting the problem with its actual name is helping me keep myself in check about it.

Thank you all for sharing your stories!

I'll confess - when I was younger me and sis used to go to bigger town near us and eat at every resteraunt we could hit. It makes me sick to think about it. Brger and fries at McD's, Fish and coleslaw at Long john silvers, Hardees etc etc. Turns my stomach to think about it but I will still sneak eat if I am not careful.

thank you so much for posting this!!! i think you are me. lol !

i would always want a dbl cheese burger from mcdonalds, so i'd get that, but i'd also want a taco (or 3) and so i'd eat the cheeseburger on the way to the taco shop, then i'd eat the tacos on the way to kfc... come home, not tell anyone that i already ate and say "hey, anyone up for pizza tonight??"

i used to eat so much fast food i was humiliated to throw out my bags of food - thinking everyone must me noticing all my fast food bags in my car - thinking im the biggest pig! there were times that i would lie about it!

"can i get a small salad?.... my little brother is in the car, lets get a double cheeseburger and a shake for him... and ugh - my mom will be pissed if i come home without something for her...add on 2 apple pies?? thanks..."

humilating.

im glad im not alone!!