Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 08-14-2006, 05:19 PM   #1  
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Unhappy I have a HORRIBLE self-image

I suffer from bipolar disorder. I've been on medication since I was thirteen years old. I've always had low self esteem. I finally though that after losing all of this weight, I had gotten my self esteem back. But, over the past couple of months, it has been slowly creeping way back down again.
I'm seriously depressed. I can't get rid of my flabby stomach. I can't wear pants without it peeking out of the top. Forget wearing any shirts that are really fitted. And the part below my belly button makes certain pants look ridiculous.
I still feel fat. Everyone tells me that I'm thin and I look great, but I can't seem to believe them. I look in the mirror and I still see a fat girl. My mind isn't cooperating. I see something totally different in the mirror from what everyone else sees when they look at me.
It also doesn't help that I used to fit into a size 8 this time last year and without gaining weight, I can now barely fit into a size 10. I don't understand it.
Anyway, I'm completely self-conscious about my stomach. I want to love my body, but I find it very difficult to. I don't know how to change my thinking or how to start being comfortable in my own skin.
There are only so many times that your friends, family, husbad can tell you that you look BEAUTIFUL and you are THIN. They hate the fact that there is nothing that they can say to make me believe it. I just don't, I can't and I don't know why.
I used to like what I saw in the mirror months ago. Now, I can't stand it. I don't know what's wrong with me.
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:25 PM   #2  
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Two things:

1. Depression is a monster that takes too much. Please seek help. It makes the world of difference if those black covered glasses aren't coloring your world.

2. You came here. That's proof you want to take control of your weight. There is tons of advice here and tons of support. You came to a good place. It will be a slow and frustrating process but YOU CAN DO IT!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:40 PM   #3  
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Thats IS tough. I went from over 300 lbs to 150 lbs and my mind went FAT, SHE's STILL FAT.... The only thing that helped me was to see pictures side by side (before and after). Keep them at your mirror and frig..... it can't hurt. Also one thing I should have went to is therapy

I hope you can get this bull by the horns soon
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:43 PM   #4  
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've been there too Siren. It's not easy to accept your body after you've had a significant weight loss, and you see all too clearly that things hang differently, or your tummy doesn't look like the other girls. I still look in the mirror and see a size 22 rather than a 12.
Once some of my weight came down I started walking, and doing yoga. That can help change the shape of your body if you stick with it long enough. Pilates too.
Always remember Perfection is a lie, it exists no where in the world. Just be YOU, and accept who you are, and love the great thing you've done for yourself in losing weight and getting healthy. Learn to like yourself- That is the most meaningful thing you can do for you. It only takes one time, to look yourself in the mirror and realize that is toally allowed for you to love yourself, and see & acknowledge your beauty- I promise you that if you reinforce positivity in yourself with fervor, even in sweats, you'll think yourself a Goddess. You deserve that...we all do.
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Old 08-14-2006, 06:50 PM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Susan1267 View Post
've been there too Siren. It's not easy to accept your body after you've had a significant weight loss, and you see all too clearly that things hang differently, or your tummy doesn't look like the other girls. I still look in the mirror and see a size 22 rather than a 12.
Once some of my weight came down I started walking, and doing yoga. That can help change the shape of your body if you stick with it long enough. Pilates too.
Always remember Perfection is a lie, it exists no where in the world. Just be YOU, and accept who you are, and love the great thing you've done for yourself in losing weight and getting healthy. Learn to like yourself- That is the most meaningful thing you can do for you. It only takes one time, to look yourself in the mirror and realize that is toally allowed for you to love yourself, and see & acknowledge your beauty- I promise you that if you reinforce positivity in yourself with fervor, even in sweats, you'll think yourself a Goddess. You deserve that...we all do.


Thanks Susan, I needed to hear that as well.
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Old 08-16-2006, 07:24 AM   #6  
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CS,
You have been on this board for a long time and I have followed your amazing progress. You have accomplished something amazing. I guess its all the perspective we see things in. I look up to you, and every now and then, I come back, check the boards to see what you have been up to and you continually make amazing strides! -losing weight and then maintaining it for a long time. All I can think to myself is that I wish that I could have in me whatever it is that produced these amazing results in this girl. I see someone (you) as being persistent, having an incredible amount of perserverence, and having so much to offer the people that surround you -your friends and the people on this board. I don't know if you can relate, but often I find myself acheiving something big and after I acheive it, it becomes "no big deal". Maybe since you have maintained your weight for so long it is just normal for you. I remember you posted some stuff about a tummy tuck a while back...is that something you would consider? Anyway, this post probably wasn't helpful at all, but I just wanted to let you know how much you are appreciated here (at least by me ) Maybe maybe your doc could offer some advice on a good person to see about self image issues. Keep your head up.
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Old 08-16-2006, 12:16 PM   #7  
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Thanks for the support guys!

Kelligirl - Your post was extremely helpful. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy to have been able to help you.

I suppose that sometimes all that I've accomplished becomes just an every day thing. I'm used to the way my body looks NOW as opposed to the way it looked before. At first, it was such a shock to look at myself in the mirror and see someone who I didn't recognize. But, now I think that I've gotten back into old habits and I'm constantly picking at every little flaw that I have.

I can't have the tummy tuck, although I would love to. I can't afford it, I don't know if I could deal with the pain and the possibility of infection, and I haven't had any children yet but I want to in the future.

I think I'll be okay. I just need to start thinking positively about myself and stop obsessing about all of my flaws!
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Old 08-16-2006, 09:58 PM   #8  
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You can have a tummy tuck and later have a baby, they are not mutually exclusive. And the pain isn't all that bad. But expensive, yes.
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Old 08-16-2006, 10:34 PM   #9  
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CS, you have lost and incredible amount of weight and are an inspiration to so many of us. I pick at my flaws too. I think my tummy is too big. One thing I do for inspiration for myself is come here and look at my before and after pic's often. This reminds me where I came from and where I'm at now. Sometimes I just don't see it in the mirror. Everyone tells me I'm thin and look great, but to me I think I could stand to look better. Since hitting maintenance and not seeing any more big changes, it becomes so easy to forget where we were. Pull out them pic's and put a big smile on your face. It will help.
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Old 08-22-2006, 09:36 PM   #10  
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Hi,

First of all, I am extremely impressed by your weightloss thus far. Give yourself the credit you deserve. You've worked hard to achieve your goals and that's wonderful.

Your self-image hasn't caught up to the changes in your body. Do you have a before picture you can carry with you? It might be a helpful reminder to how far you have come.

I can relate to poor self-image. It's something I've had all my life. I actually have issues with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I see this horrible monster in the mirror, but everyone tells me I'm normal or pretty.

For anyone curious about BDD you can go to www.bddcentral.com
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