I've never been diagnosed with depression (however, clinical depression runs in the family)... but I think thats what I'm dealing at the moment.

I'm doing Optifast; I've been at it a month now. I'm down 30lbs.
It is beginning to feel like the more weight I lose, the more down in the dumps I get. I am sad; I feel like I don't deserve this; I feel all messed up inside. I feel defeated and that it will never work (even though it clearly is).

Does anyone else get this way when they lose weight??? Does it go away? Why would I feel like this when I should be happy to lose so much???
I don't know, I don't understand it...

When you really start loosing and really start seeing success, you no longer have your weight to hide behind. You're excuse for why you have not done this or why you have not done that is no longer there. You see success coming and you don't know what you are going to do when you get there. If the problem persists I would suggest talking to a professional. I have had this problem with weight loss in the past. If you don't work through it you will never succeed with the weight loss, because you can not let go of that comfort and the wall that you are hiding behind. Evaluate for a little longer and then if you need to go talk to someone (I am talking about a professional, counselor, psychiatrist, or psychologist). It may be the best thing that you ever do for yourself.

Trish

Amanda

Yes, I get that way at times, I'll look at the scale going down and say...gee, I'm not trying hard enuf.. like I should be beating myself up TO lose MORE weight or something.

Can I please suggest you go talk to a doctor to see whats going on. If you don't take care of this now, whats gonna happen after you stop optifast? I believe the brain is 90% of dieting/weightloss, what ever you want to call it.

You do deserve to lose weight and you do deserve to be happy we all do.

Please see your doctor and at least chat with him/her.

HUGS!!

I already see a counselor weekly for help with my weight loss.
I don't know why, but this hasn't really creeped to the top as anything we've directly talked about. I really do think that I have been holding back and trying to shove these feelings aside because they aren't rational.... I'm guessing that it is hitting me so hard these last several days that I have no choice but to let it out and talk about it. I so desperately want to get this resolved because I should be celebrating my loss; it is something I've tried to do for a long time and I finally am.

Yes, you should be celebrating. I'm glad you talk to a councelor BRAVO!! make it the first thing you discuss at your next meeting. Let us know how the session goes.

HUGS

Hi Amanda,

Hugs to you and congrats on your 30 lb loss!

Please remember that a significant weight loss will also result in significant shifts in your hormone levels, since fat stores estrogen among other things, and this can affect your mood. Your metabolism shifting can affect mood as well. And it's true that many of us "hide" behind our weight -- I know I found my slimmest times to be the most intimidating in some ways, because I became very "visible" to the world and it was scary.

Just keep the lines of communication with your doctor and therapist wide open as you experience these mood issues. Try journaling if you aren't already -- it can help. When you are feeling really down, take care of yourself -- warm baths, quiet time, a fun book/movie, etc. If the down moods last a while, please get help with that -- depression can be very debilitating (as I'm sure you know from family experience), so if you can "nip it in the bud," so to speak, that is a good thing.

Please reach out if you need to talk.

Of COURSE you're depressed! On one hand, you are taking control of your life and getting healthier and losing weight. You are doing what you and all of us on this site are here to do. But on the other hand, it is confusing to be successful. You have spent alot of years defining yourself, as we all do, through the experience and eyes of an overweight person. The more you change, the scarier it gets. No DOUBT you have overwhelming emotions and a number of questions. You are leaving your comfort zone behind. You are succeeding - perhaps you don't feel worthy of success. Your body is changing - what will happen when others see you in a new light? Your self-image is changing - will I still be the same person once the weight is gone? Will my DH still love me? Will life really be better? Your established role in your family is changing - how will you fit in? You are in the process of redefining yourself in new terms, and discovering who this new person is underneath the protective layers that obesity often provides. Congratulations for seeking help! You WILL be successful and you have just markedly improved your odds of keeping the weight off. Keep it up!

I think with Optifast you don't eat much if at all, correct? For me, I have used food to numb my feelings for so many years. It has been a very hard thing to start allowing myself to feel things and not just numb myself with food. If you are at all the same way, you may be going through other things but be unable to use your old tool of food to comfort yourself. Are there other things going on right now that might be making you upset that would make you want to eat to relieve the feelings?

Ya, optifast takes the choice right out of food... I consume between 550-650 cal/day between shakes and bars. So I really did lose my comfort system all of a sudden - even though I knew a month in advance that I was going to do this; just all of a sudden one day food wasn't there any more. Initially, that was fairly easy to deal with - it has been a new experience to deal with feelings and situations as they occur and not "stuff them down." Overall, I had been feeling like a great burden had been lifted, as I didn't have to carry around all those old emotions/resentments/guilt.
And now over the past week or so, I just have all these irrational thoughts - and I'm like 'NO this isn't right, I'm doing something good for me, and I should be happy that its working'
I have talked about doing hypnotherapy to help with the negative attitudes from my childhood that have carried over... I think it will help alot; I've done it before for other issues and I find it to be effective.