I have depression, clinically diagnosed. Before I was diagnosed I did not know that I had it. I felt the way you are describing a lot of times, I also was paranoid that people talked about me all the time, that takes a toll on having any real friends. When I started to realize something might be wrong I did try St Johns Wort. It did not work. When I got on the prescription meds from my doctor they did amazing things for me. You know before then I always worried about what they would do to me and about being dependant on a pill for the rest of my life.
Now that I have taken them (and have for about 6 years) I can tell you, I would not trade them for anything. They did not alter who I was, they just altered how I felt all the time. So, I need a pill everyday to ward off bad feelings, it is better to take one everyday then to go back to being depressed and paranoid all the time.
When my husband and I were dating and I told him about the medication. (By the way I was scared of his reaction.) He said something very wise that I still think a lot on to this day. He said, "So you need a little pill everyday, that is no different than a diabetic needing insulin."
So if you are just scared of being diagnosed with it, I am here to tell you that any discomfort that you feel about it will be well worth it in the end if that is truly your problem.
I know I rambled but... I wish I could tell everyone how much better life is when you are not consistenly depressed. Yes sometimes I still get depressed but I am not always depressed.
Hope this helped.
Trish
