and Happy New Year! We are a small but mighty bunch of friends who share each other's Ups and Downs with our ongoing battle against depression. EVeryone is welcome!

Happy New year friends!

Halloooooo Holly!!!

Happy New Year to all.
I'm doing ok, quiet on my front. Weather has been drizzly but mild. I'm not sure we'll get snow this year. It's been quite mild, so far.

I'm still working on the weight. I ate a crap load of pretzels today. Not so good. I put them away. Hopefully, out of sight, out of mind.

I got a new hair cut. Its really short on the sides and back.

I hope y'all are doing good. Post when you can

Halloooo Lisa! You sound good!! If you want snow, I'll wish it for you . If you don't, then let's hope not Your new haircut sounds cute.

I hope so much that our Pat and other freinds from here, from months past, are ok !

I am still working for the bossy lady, she is maybe getting better in her attitude, hasn't said anything rude to me since Christmas Day (that I spend 8 hours with her). Also she mentionedyesterday that I 'don't have to be there all day' - OMG I have to take her up on that! She pays me to just sit in the same room with her and I'd rather not . I will approach her about that today. Less days per week or half days. It will change as soon as her new house has the floor work done, then I will be busy packing and moving but no one can do anything til the floors are done.

I am doing great with exercising, not so great with eating, story of my life haha.

be careful around others, wear your mask, be safe, check in here when you can!

Hello Lisa and Holly! Happy New Year!

Lisa, it sounds like your new haircut is cute. Do you like it? Hang in there and keep plugging away on the weight loss. You can do this!!!
Holly, you are the exercise guru! Good for you! Keep up the good work! Cutting back your work schedule with the bossy... I mean boss lady... ... sounds good, even if it is just temporary. Keep us posted on what you decide to do.

How do you post photos from your camera gallery on here? I was gonna try to post a picture of Tully. He will be 15 weeks old on Sunday, and he is as cute as can be! 💙

Hello friends

Kathleen, huh things are different on here, beore if I want to post a pic, I scroll down to "manage attachments' and click on that; but I just tried it and it did not bring up what I thought ...?

how is Tully doing? and you my friend?? how is your anxiety

Lisa how are you, my friend??

and hello to Pat and our other friends!

You all would be proud of me - today I confronted the bossy lady. I had an especially upsetting day with her Friday when i took her to a medical appt TWO HOURS AWAY and with her sh*tty condition, she had complications and things were delayed and we got home at 11 at night (we left the house at 9 a.m.) Worse, I have discovered that my night vision driving is TERRIBLE when i am in unfamiliar places. That woman did NOT stop snapping and being rude and mean to me every time i missed a turn or could not see an exit clearly...and it wasnt even important turns, it was into Taco Bell or Wendy's because she just had to have junk food.

So the next day (Sat) I told her i could NOT make that drive again. It did not feel safe. She totally backpedaled "oh, you were driving fine, you were okay, it was OK". Bullcrap! She was just protecting her interests at that point. I went home and just stewed about it all weekend.

today i went there ready to quit. And we 'had it out". I told her that I go to work and come home with a stomachache because she is so unkind and rude. I pointed out ALL the instances when she was a jerk to me. I said "a kind person doesn't say
you never get me to the curb right, a kind person says oh hey could you back up a little?" and i told her that it was on Christmas Day that she said i yanked her hair. She said "i never said yanked'. Yes you did. And she acted shocked and contrite and sorry and apologized. She even apologized for when she tried to have me do her office work and i got so upset because id had no idea what i was doing. So, she knew what she was doing then was wrong!! We'll see if she can be decent. At least it felt good to get that out to her! My stomach doesn't clench now when i think of going in tomorrow.

thanks for letting me vent!!

Kathleen, don't freak out about your fingers. It sounds like it could be carpal tunnel. That can cause numbness. I get it when I try to thread a needle. My fingers do not like that.

I'll post more later.

Hi Lisa and Hi Kathleen!

Lisa - is that a new profile pic? beautiful! I'm glad you had comforting words for Kathleen. Hope to hear more from you soon! did you get the issue of getting warmth for your home i know that was a while ago but I don't remember the outcome. Thinking of you, Lisa!

Kathleen - so glad Tully is doing so well! (no jinxing LOL ) that is wonderful. Can Tully be left alone in the house with your other dog? I am sorry you are having the puzzling numbbess, i hope so much it is nothing bad and that you can find out when you have your primary care visit on the 25th . thinking of you, Kathleen!

Yes always thinking of our Pat, Treembbs, and other friends!!

So I have to get the Monster boss lady to another hospital appt, same hospital that is 2 hours away, this Monday. She has to have a colonoscopy and the camera down the throat one (to look for possible internal bleeding) I hate that when I said last Saturday, after the horrible drive home Friday night, that I could NOT do the drive , she totally ignored MY needs and focused on hers. She minimized what happened and repeated that she had no one else to do it. (probably because no one else WILL do it!!) Using guilt to manipulate me. thank God my wonderful husband volunteered to come along on Monday and do the night driving. and he works nights so it will be messing up his sleeping schedule, but my night vision is too bad. My horrible decision next is to quit after we get her safely home Monday night. Get her settled and then quit and walk out. I don't even care if I don't get paid for the last 2 weeks. I have to be done with her. ugh.

Hello all
just stopping by to let you all know I think of you. Great to read what’s going on in your lives.

Holly, I’m proud of you for being honest with your bossy boss. She sounds like a very unhappy person who is cranky and, well, abusive. So unhealthy for you to be around. I hope she has better control of her words now.

Lisa, your haircut sounds great. A fresh nice look.

Kathleen, I have in the past had numbness and tingling in a finger due to a vertebrae being a bit out. It always was fixed by a chiropractor. My rule for myself is never google symptoms. Honestly, doing that over the years has caused anxiety to go full throttle when I read the possible diagnosis. I bet that dr appt will bring relief for your concerns.

my eating has been worse re: calories and carbs. Been eating one big potato and vegan butter every day along with regular food. But I did cut out sugary foods. No dairy, wheat and sugar. And I am mindful of carbs other than those potatoes. I’m on a new "food as medicine" regimen which adds in some higher carb produce. And I’m stress eating. And I’m eating from sheer boredom. But things could be much worse.

Life has been odd to say the least. Chemo is not too bad. But the "neulasta" that self injects 27 hours after chemo is painful and difficult for many days. Because of having leukemia during covid I can only leave home to go to dr appointments. Two very kind people shop for my food. I’m very fortunate that people will grocery shop me. But I do feel the strain of so much isolation since I cannot go anywhere. I used to love going grocery shopping.

hoping everyone continues to do well. It was good reading what you wrote

Pat (flower) I am beyond thrilled to hear from you!! It is so horrible that you were diagnosed with leukemia especially during Covid. I am so sorry the med you mentioned is painful and difficult to manage for days after chemo so very sorry you have to endure that, added with the isolation of Covid. But wow congrats on being able to cut out dairy wheat and sugar! very good for you. And yes, the MonsterLady (that's how i think of her now) has *tried* to be more kind in her words, but she also referenced "when you said I was mean to you". Ugh. Thinking of you, Pat!!

Kathleen - I wonder, if you could vary your evening time on the phone, to a keyboard/laptop instead, might the varied different motions help with your finger stiffness? and gosh I do hope the visit to the dermatologist has good news for you, wow you do NOT want any more surgeries, do you, my friend!! and thank you for your promise to send me strength on Monday night Oh - and your emojies look the same size as the others here. I have noticed in the past 6 months that I cannot access the Smilies that appear to the right of this text box, but I can access them from the line of symbols directly above (?)

We are getting pounded by snow! it was extremely heavy wet stuff yesterday; today is lighter (because the temp is colder) but thank goodness for our Cub Cadet 2 Stage 24" snowthrower!!! It was very unwieldy for me at first but I think I have the hang of it now. I had cleared almost all the driveway this morning before my husband came home; it is always great to have one less car taking up space when you're doing it. And I did the path that I take Chloe on for her outside business; and the path/walkway to our house (its about 40 feet from the driveway). I will need to do some hand shoveling later but thats OK . Counts as strength and cardio!

I am still stomach-hurting over tomorrow...but I just have to get through it; and thank god for my husband to be along for the after 5 pm driving; and if he is there the Monsterwoman will probably hold back on her usual abrupt sayings. Then I do have to get her in the house, settled, then drop the bomb news...realistically the worst that can happen is abusive yelling, cursing, crying, begging. And that is to be expected I guess. I don't think she can throw anything at me because of her limited arm movements. I took the time last night to prepare a typed paper that lists the last time I watered the plants and washed the cat water bowls. And I researched 3 area agencies that have people to help with groceries, errands, transportation to medical appointments, with the contact info. Some are volunteer, some are paid. I will have that paper, plus my last hours worked, plus her house key and debit card, all together in a manila envelope to leave as I drop the bad news and get out.

Holly I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. I wish your husband could go into the house with you. To support you while you break the news to her that you are resigning. Proud of you for taking care of your mental and physical health. Again, I’ll be thinking of you <3

He will be waiting outside or in the car outside, I'll know he is not too far and that will help I actually did think of asking him to literally 'stand by me' while I tell her, but I don't want her to spread gossip that we intimidated her physically (he is a big guy) and yes she is a person capable of thinking that way.

my nerves are pretty good now but my mind always go into the 'what if' category. What if she has complications and has to stay overnight ? well I would have to give her the news on resigning while she's in the hospital, husband and I would drive her car back to her home and someone else would have to deal with her, I guess! ugh. I will be so glad when it's over. thank you for the thoughts!!!

It's done!!! the LONG day is over!! and the quitting part was unbelievably easy, I can't believe it that she was so calm and accepting, weird! but oh my gosh the relief is HUGE.

We (husband and I ) were expecting to be paged by the medical facility around 6 pm; imagine our joy when the pager went off at 4:30!! but then a half hour wait in the interior waiting room, then the boss lady was wheeled out. I said Hi, and started wheeling her down the hall and I said "wow it was done early!" and she said ' I only had the endoscopy. They couldn't do the colonoscopy, it wasn't clear enough" and I thought to myself, "but I wont be the one taking you to THAT appointment!"

then the LONG drive home but thank god my husband did the night driving. and when we get to her house, I opened up her fridge to put her soda away and guess what i fouond - the jug of her liquid prep medicine that she was supposed to take every drop of!!! She didn't follow the specific orders and that was why her .... excrement...wasn't clear!!

and too bad I'm giving up that money but oh my gosh, it wasn't worth it! and I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Holly,congratulations! I hope you and husband celebrated. Well done!

Hi Lisa and Kathleen and anyone else.

today I woke feeling more depressed than I can remember feeling in the past. I don’t know why other than having to cancel chiropractic and naturopathic appointments because I’m too nervous driving in snow. My little Toyota is terrible in the snow. And I have anxiety around it anyway. I find that I need more support because of the specific kind of leukemia that I have Also, the woman who gets food for me cannot do it this week because of her bad back. A woman will shop (at the very expensive health food store) for me toward the end of the week. I can’t afford too much from there. I’m grateful though for the groceries I can get from there