[IBelieveInMe2]

Wanted to come back asap to let you know that my ultrasound showed that the area in concern was just scar tissue. 😊 Thank God! 🙏 I am so relieved that they did the ultrasound right away and told me the results right away!

[VermontMom]

Oh Kathleen thank goodness it was nothing scary! and bless them for checking right away and telling you! and CONGRATULATIONS on your 5 and 1/2 year mark!

That is very worrisome about your son I feel your fear!! ugh and curses to the vaping industry!! that they preyed on young adults (children!!! bubble gum flavor??? come on!!) I hope his is okay. Was he diagnosed with asthma?

Yes you and I have talked about how we love Spring and Summer so much and hate what we know is coming!! My yard/gardens are especially lovely (because I've been home spending so much time outside )

I think I've meant to ask before, do you "close" the lake house or is it kept so you can go there all thru winter?

Even though I had off all summer, I did not ride much at all. I am really not the type to just take off by myself, looking for adventure solo....I do take the bike to do errands in town or if I need to do something United Motoryclists-related, but since my husband has been having balance problems (and saying everything in his body hurts ) he has not been on his bike at all, so we haven't ridden anywhere together. Which is a bummer. But i need to focus that I have kept myself in shape and strong and flexible and can ride no problem

Today I knew I couldn't progress on the kitchen project so I did an area that has bothered me but wasn't sure what to do about it. It is a wall (floor to ceiling) bookcase joined in the corner; right next to my desk (my simplified new desk which looks so much better) I took EVERYTHING off those shelves. Maybe a hundred books, folders, my volunteer organization stuff, kid's drawings from 20 + years ago...first I stepped back and looked at it and realized if I had alot of objects concentrated near the center, it just looked super crowded. so I made sure to keep that area sparse. I organized antique books that I have; husband's interest (science fiction, building) our comedy stuff (Simpsons, The Other Side, Calvin and Hobbs) and other subjects. then the games that we have but don't play anymore tho I would love to, Pictionary, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble. It looks SO much better now. I can approach it and think "mmm that looks good" instead of my usual glance and then plummeting soul.

Now there is a smaller bookcase that needs work, it has stationary/paper/labels etc, boxes of greeting cards, folders etc on one shelf, our photo albums on bottom shelf; a shelf was devoted to husband's work which was textbooks of computer programming but if they are from the '90's they are obsolete! ("but I paid so much for them" I can just hear it now)

and my other task that turned out great, was that I was looking out the window next to that desk and noticed I could not see clearly to the top of the driveway due to branches from apple tree and a maple tree. I geared up (Merrill work boots / gloves/ safety glasses) and got a ladder and the electric tree trimmer. And I trimmed those suckers!!! dropped many branches (and rolling apples ) cleared them away, raked the driveway (its unpaved) and it looks so much tidier and now I can see at the top of the driveway!

I do feel pride at being capable of accomplishing stuff like the above; it is frustrating then when I don't have the drive or knowledge to do things that I need help with.

[TREEMBBS]

IBelieveInMe2 thanks for your welcome. I do hope all is OK with your breasts now, you must have had a scary time of it. I also feel for you re your son's vaping (or previous vaping) and I hope that he gets over the need for any addictive/destructive behaviors. How old is he? Life is tough currently for our young ones.


Holly I'm glad you are feeling better emotionally today. Getting things off our chests can be helpful even if some of the "venting" is negative for the time, that is how we feel.

Yes I thought after I said it that there is mostly shared space in a home but maybe (if it happens again) and the workshop comes in onto the kitchen table calmly move it all to one half and declare that the other side of the table is yours to eat from or do what you like!


Being thrust into full time carer role of my H is exasperated because it happened not long after I had been practically a sole full time carer for his mother (who lived nearby so the carer role made sense in that respect) After rearing my boys who are spread out in age I feel there has never been a time where I haven't been responsible for others with little time free for myself. The other difficult thing is to try and still see my H as a husband, friend and father of my children and not as a patient or as being child like in a sense (he needs help dressing, showering, taking medication and can do very little to nothing to help me with any other chores) That is the really tough thing as a carer - to do my roles and not make H feel useless or "less" of a a man. Another tough thing is constantly having to look out for him because his balance is shot and though he has walking aids he falls over easily which worries the crap out of me if I have to go out for a little while to get some groceries or medicines etc. (though I do time those essential outings) So yes, it can all get me down always being on the look out and worrying too what will happen if I have to be admitted to hospital etc. I have put off lots of niggling things that need attention like a fallen uterus, varicose veins and a dodgy knee already.

OK ENOUGH VENTING FROM ME.....though it was less of a vent and more just to let you know what I am dealing with on a day to day basis (hmmm, as well as trying to get back to my healthy weight)


Keep well and safe everyone. x x

[TREEMBBS]

Wow, looks like we all posted at the same time!! That is great news re the scar tissue (Kathleen I gather from Holly above, I will try to remember)

And well done Holly on your productive day.

[lisaloveshearts]

I'm still here.

[VermontMom]

Originally Posted by lisaloveshearts

I'm still here.

and we are here for you Lisa!

[VermontMom]

gah!!! was in the middle of such a long post to TREEMBBS about commiserating and I pushed some random key and away it went I will come back later to finish!!

[VermontMom]

TREEMBBS Oh my gosh...that you were your mother-in-laws full time caregiver...now you do that for your husband wow. And not that long after your sons had grown? I know marriage is supposed to be 'for better or worse' but life is so unfair sometimes. I'm so sorry you have a really, really tough burden to deal with and yeah, it must be rough for the ill person to not feel bad about themselves not being able to do anything anymore...very tough but they should also realize it is not up to you to do things so that they don't feel bad about themselves, you are doing enough by doing everything in the household! I am thinking of you! and here is some sunshine for you and hope that like me, when you have a particularly rough day, think 'maybe tomorrow will be better;.

[lisaloveshearts]

Originally Posted by DamarisM3

Amazing! I just stumbled across this forum and I think it is great! I'm currently getting back into the fitness grind and do suffer from emotional ups and downs. I think fitness is helping me get back to a better headspace but definitely can use a good support group.

Welcome!!!!

[IBelieveInMe2]

DamarisM3: Welcome to the group! 😊 Glad you posted. Good luck with your fitness goals! Hope to get to know you better.

[IBelieveInMe2]

Lisa: Thanks for checking in! Sending big hugs your way! 💜

[lisaloveshearts]

Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2

Lisa: Thanks for checking in! Sending big hugs your way! 💜

Thank you, Kathleen.

PT was good yesterday. I'm improving gradually. My numbers are getting better. He measures how far my knee bends and also how straight it will go.

​​​​​​ Yesterday, was a pretty good day.

[IBelieveInMe2]

Originally Posted by lisaloveshearts

Thank you, Kathleen.

PT was good yesterday. I'm improving gradually. My numbers are getting better. He measures how far my knee bends and also how straight it will go.

​​​​​​ Yesterday, was a pretty good day.

Lisa: So happy to hear that you had a pretty good day and that PT went well. Also good that your numbers are getting better and you are improving gradually. You sure needed some good news! Are you still feeling any pain?

[IBelieveInMe2]

Holly: Yes, I am SO relieved that my ultrasound came back okay. Thank you for the congratulations on my 5 and 1/2 year breast cancer survivor mark! It sure feels good to have that behind me. I am blessed to be alive! 🙏

My son is doing much better and has not vaped since his most recent scare with difficulty breathing. He was diagnosed with asthma when he was 6 yrs old. He was an extreme premie (28 weeks & a twin), so his lungs were fragile from the start. He mainly had sports induced asthma, and he grew out of it in his teens. But, obviously, with his history, he should not be vaping... so I truly hope and pray that he has quit for good.

We don't really "close" the lake house, so we can come all year round. But, in the past, we have quit coming up when the weather turns cold (yuck!!!) and hockey season starts (since we go to many Blue Jackets games). I'm not sure when the next hockey season will start, considering the Stanley Cup playoffs are currently still going on. Also, with not much else to do due to COVID, maybe we will come up longer into the fall toward winter this year. Nothing beats the summer at the lake, though!

That's too bad that you weren't on your bike much this summer. I know how you love to ride! I wouldn't be the type to adventure solo either. So sorry to hear that your husband has been having balance problems and that everything in his body hurts. 🙁 Do you know why? I hope he's okay! 🙏

Your clutter clearing abilities and yard work skills amaze me! Good for you for all that you accomplished. It exhausted me just reading about it! Lol! Did you do a lot of gardening this summer? Do you have blooms into the fall?

[IBelieveInMe2]

TREEMBBS: Yes, I was really scared when the Nurse Practitioner thought she might have felt something in my left breast. That is where my original tumor was. I am VERY relieved that the ultrasound came back okay.

My son is 24 years old. I hate that he ever took up the terribly unhealthy habit of vaping in the first place. As I wrote to Holly, his lungs have been fragile from the start since he was extremely premature, so it was especially bad for him. I just hope and pray that he IS really done for good.

Thank you for sharing your daily life with us. You sound like a wonderful caretaker! ❤ It is so nice of you to have taken care of your mother-in-law. And now your husband. Although I know you probably do it out of the goodness of your heart and out of love, that is truly a lot of responsibility and stress on you, I would imagine. It is admirable the way you are so sensitive to your husband's needs and don't want to make him feel "less" of a man or useless. I also like how you try to see him as a husband, friend, and father of your children instead of a patient or as being child-like since he is dependent on you for so much. He is so blessed to have you! I sure wish you had some time for yourself and your needs, too. It sounds like you have some health needs of your own that could use attention. How old are your children? Are they able to help out with your husband at all? Please feel free to vent anytime you need to. I am so happy you are here! 😊