Oh wow, Holly, I can sympathize. I didn't have that much growth of stuff. It sounds like years and years worth. You poor thing. My advice? Ok, here goes......

Do exactly what you just did. Pick an area that sticks in your craw. An area that pisses you off. Just 1, not 20 areas......just 1 area.....and hit it hard. Pull **** out, bag it, rent a dumpster, do whatever you need to do to help you feel a bit better.

Look at the 1 area with satisfaction, great satisfaction. Don't look at the house, in general but look at what you've accomplished. Then pick 1 more area, tackle it and so on and so on.

There are great resources out there today. Rent dumpsters to.help you. There are actual companies who com in and help you sort through things. Instead of 1 pair of hands, imagine 4 or 5 pair of hands and what could get done.

I'll write more later. I can hardly keep my eyes open.

TREEMBBS Great that you have joined this group. No pressure how often you post. I try to be a frequent poster and yet too often thats an unmet goal. :) I too physically have a low tolerance level for pain.


Lisa I'm not surprised how painful this recovery road is for you. I have heard that recovery from Knee replacement is very challenging re pain level. I cannot imagine living alone and having this surgery. And yet, someday I may need to get that body part replaced. Of course you have put the other knee surgery on the back burner for now! Im so sorry you are dealing with this pain! Again I want to say how great it is having you back.

Holly, I'm surprised that the gig didn't last. And all this time I pictured you working on the food truck. I wonder if your husb is even capable of cleaning out the crap he accumulates without an unreasonable amount of prodding from you. I can understand why this is such a high level stress for you. Both of your needs are at such odds. seems he doesnt care about mounding clutter and the space. You need to live in a clean and clutter free space. Of course it becomes anger provoking for you. Is he not even willing to work with you when you are clearing out the clutter, sorting through old documents?

I hope things become easier for all of us during these days weeks and months to come. Everything I have heard from teachers etc leads me to know that these are extraordinarily challenging times for most people for a variety of reasons, myself included.

Originally Posted by VermontMom:
Lisa thank you for starting the August thread! and again welcome back! :) I missed you!! I am glad you had the replacement but so very sorry about how painful it is. But it sounds like you are being careful with the pain medication and that is so smart of you! and bless your friends. However when you first said your friends cleaned out your mobile, I thought you meant your phone...like your mobile device? :rofl: now I understand. and yes that link worked and that rug is gorgeous with the block colors! did you decide on it?

Four weeks out is still a short time for such a major surgery. Did you do PT yesterday? And so glad you are feeling better from the chills episode . So glad it's over! but I have to ask..doesn't it make your worried that now there are so many possible symptoms for Covid 19?






to Lisa and Kathleen - my summer job that I love so much?

And you would think that I would use this free time to take care of the cluttered and mess around this house? but there are YEARS worth of stuff collected and NOT BY ME . I know Pat has tried to help me with this. And yes Pat I have armed myself with garbage bags and gotten rid of large black garbage bags worth of stuff. But is a drop in the ocean it seems :( I have told Pat that the main problem is husband starts projects and needs things, hardware/ electrical/ etc supplies. But he never puts things away properly so he can never fnd what he needs, then just buys more. So then we have twice what we need . Repeat that for the last 30 years and that is what I am dealing with.

today I got angry enough to just go ahead and tried to take care of an area that just grates on my soul 100 times a day. it was a container spilling over with hardware and supplies. I pulled it all out, piled it in a storage container (and those things just make the problem in one area) and behind that container, found tax papers and payroll slips from 1992. omg!!! I went thru every piece and recycled the plain paper and shredded the sensitive stuff. But my sense of outrage is that I have to take care of these things when I did not create them. is this just part of being married for so many freakin years/????

ok i am done I guess :(

I

I'm so sorry your job fell through. Hopefully, another door opens.

Yes, when I felt awful, I was a bit worried about covid. I just stayed to myself. I must have had a slight fever because the Tylenol worked on those chills. Knocked them right out. I paid attention to my symptoms and kept track.

I couldn't be married to someone who didn't listen and communicate with me. Grrrr

Sorry, I didn't post more. My eyes are heavy. Night.

Oh and yes Holly, I am purchasing the rug when I get pain next month. I love love love it.

good morning to my friends!!! it helps so much to know you are out there :)

Pat - yes - challenging times!! I do feel so much empathy for teachers and parents right now!! I selfishly so glad I do not have to deal with the subject of teaching children or child care issues. Glad our boys are grown ups!

Lisa - yes I echo that you are so brave to be handling this on your own! Independent lady :) I hope you are NOT in much or any pain today!!

and yes Lisa you were right on about how to tackle stuff. To take it ONE section at a time because otherwise I get overwhelmed. My husband seems to act like people who have gone through the Great Depression of the '40's, when they cannot stand to get rid of something because it might be useful in the future. I actually have looked up "hoarding' in relation to him but thank goodness it is not that bad.

today I did part of our back covered porch, which has so much stuff :( again it's mostly tools and home improvement stuff but I find other junk too. And sometimes things are 'stored' back there but it is a porch and mice get into it. And the problem with those storage containers is that it gives someone maybe the sense of 'hey I put that away, Im good' but then it is still a large box of STUFF that is not being used and is now 'out of sight'. What I did manage, was to go after about 8 falling-apart cardboard boxes of household repair items; got the items at least into 3 smaller boxes; broke down those boxes and got them into the recycling bin; and collected 3 or 4 bags of what I considered 'garbage' and bagged and in the trash container :cp: And took some items and left them at the top of the driveway (that is an accepted way of letting people know stuff is Free if they want it; and it usually goes!) And if husband does not see what I throw out, it will never be missed.

Yes husband and I definitely disagree on this issue; and we are in the wrong for not openly discussing it; classic avoidance of touchy subject and not wanting to get into a disagreement.

okay enuf of that :)

love and friendship to you ladies!!

Holly,

I'm not totally alone. I have made friends here. A whole jumbo size family. My friends name is Trinity and she has taken such good care of me. I stayed with them for 2 weeks after my surgery. I didn't plan on that long but I was in such pain. There was no way I could have taken care of myself.

This morning I am.....guess what......icing, if course. What am I always doing. I have an achy leg, thigh ache, ankle ache. I was told that is caused by swelling. I did not know that but it makes sense.

Ive got to get something's done today for tomorrow. I'm washing out my only pair of shorts and I need to wash a shirt too. I need to shave my legs and wash my hair later. I'll wait until it's 104° and that'll be a perfect time. Yes, you read right, 104° today. Bleh

Holly,

Taking on things 1 at a time is the only way I get anything done. My house got so bad, I had to ask for help.

PT yesterday went well. My range of motion is improving. We've altered some of my exercises to focus on just that. Getting this old leg to straighten easier and then flex behind me easier.

You went through 8 boxes?? Holy moly!!!! That is awesome!!!!! You're doing amazing. You are correct, what he doesn't know, won't hurt him. Get rid of what you can. Just pick an area that drives you batty. You're doing so good!!!!

I'll write more later. My pain meds are kicking my butt this morning. zzzzzzzzz

Good morning! hi friends :)

Lisa - that is so wonderful that you have a family of friends :hug: and that your friend in particular, Trinity, was so good to you right after the surgery. And so glad that your home is such that you love it and you are free to decorate. I have a personal question that I hope is not painful - do you still have Elvira? and I am so sorry but I forget where you live now, is it Washington State? when you mentioned that it was 104 the other day, OMG!! how do you survive that??

So very good to have you here again Lisa :) :hug:

Pat/Flower, how are you?? I sense you are having a particular hard time, because usually you write more . I am so sorry if this is true :( Yes you have to be isolated from people because of your immune system and that is just so difficult for humans. Maybe okay for a short time but this has been going on for so long. I hope your neighbors are still able to get groceries if needed? I am thinking of you, Pat :hug:

Wasn't it great to hear from Believe/Kathleen?!!

I wish we knew how Coop (Ireland) was doing also.

Thanks so much for the insights and encouragement about the clutter and such. I can actually say that I feel I have made changes that are positive and permanent. That does so much for me!! Yes I have to realize that he and I are so very different when it comes to putting things away properly and such. I cannot change how he is; I have to think how to work around it without making myself so angry, defensive or hopeless feeling.

I love writing to you ladies :)

Hi everyone! Holly - I feel your pain...my boyfriend and I have VERY different ideas of “clean” and “organized” and it drives me crazy ughhh

Hi IdealProteinNewbie! :wave: and :welcome: !!

Oh isn't it frustrating!

however I came back here to tell of some more success! 2 big garbage bags filled and out of the house in the garbage receptacle, buried under a bag of smelly kitchen garbage :rofl: Found 5 cardboard boxes that didn't even have anything in them!! what a score that is!!! broke those suckers down and they are in the recycling.

And I am stopping that activity for today. If I try to accomplish too much, it gets overwhelming and frustrating. i will stop at my successes for one day :)

This is funny - we have an awesome cooler, it looks just like a big can of Coca cola, it is about 3 feet tall, even the lid looks like the top of a can with a pull tab! but we never use it. We have regular rectangular coolers that are more practical. But the Coke one would be so fun at an outdoor party. (which we might have, but not for alot of people). So I cleaned it up, made a great bright sign for it, and put it at the top of the driveway. Then my son called and we were talking, and I mentioned the Coke cooler and he said "oh wow, I would like that Mom". LOL so back up the driveway I trudged, collected the cooler and put it in a clean place (I also bleached it out) for him to pick up :D

Lisa - I, too, am wondering where you are living now. Can't believe your temperature was 104° the other day! 😲 I am glad that you got your knee replaced since it must have needed it, but SO sorry that you are in so much pain during recovery. I had my hip replaced in March of 2019 and my initial recovery was very painful. I think it was more painful because I waited too long (over 3 years) to have it replaced. Like Pat mentioned, I have always heard that knee replacements are harder to recover from than hips, so I can only imagine. Hang in there! 💜 I am so happy to hear that you are loving your mobile home! 😊 Also, I think I read in the July thread that your weight loss is stalled on 50 pounds. When did you lose 50 pounds? That is awesome!!! 🙌 🎉

Holly - It is SO wonderful to hear from you! I must admit that I am embarrassed as I read about your husband's clutter because, unfortunately, I can relate. 😢 I am in no way trying to make you feel bad for sharing about his clutter and your frustrations about it. I just have to come clean about the fact that I have a serious problem with clutter, too. It drives my husband totally nuts and is a very sore subject at times. I am very ashamed of the clutter and want it gone at this point, which is actually an improvement, but I am overwhelmed and just not good at clearing it. I never know where to start. My husband just dives right in and gets it done! I have to be in the right frame of mind to do it. Anyway, it is interesting that my husband and my roles are reversed from yours and your husband's on the subject of clutter. Maybe you can help me to understand and be more sensitive to his viewpoint. When he gets angry about it, I just shut down. Ibt stifles me. 😢 Often, I feel like I'm a lost cause on the subject of clutter because I have battled the issue for so long. My mom has the same issue. On another note, I am so sorry that your regular summer job doesn't exist anymore. ☹ That just plain sucks! I know you always looked forward to going back to your summer job each year. I'm sorry that the 3 day gig came to an end so abruptly as well. Do you have any other ideas in mind for the fall? What ever happened to your work on that assembly line? I am so far out of the loop! Whatever you decide to do, I have the utmost confidence that you will excel at it, as you have every other job you've taken on. 😊

Pat - I hope you are okay. I hear and echo Holly's concern.

I am doing pretty well at the moment. Still TRYING to focus on one day at a time. I have good days and bad. I am very happy to report that I have had success with weight loss since I have posted here awhile ago! 😊 🎉 I was down to 157.8 pounds the last time I weighed myself in early August! I had a recent virtual appointment with my Endocrinologist and she set my goal weight at 145, so I am actually getting close!!! 😁 I can't believe it!!! My depression has been kept to a minimum, but I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety for several months now. My psychiatrist recommended that I get back into therapy, but the thought of that gives me more anxiety. Plus, I don't want to add even more appointments to my calendar. Family life continues to be a rollercoaster ride. I think my first priority is going to be to schedule couples counseling for me and my husband. We aren't in a deep, dark place or anything, but our relationship isn't exactly thriving either, so I think it could really help. I am just unsure about starting over with the process and a new therapist. Anyway, that is what is going on in my life right now. Not much new, except for the weight loss, which I am thrilled about!

Hope everyone is doing well when you read this message! Welcome to our two new posters! ❤

Lisa - I, too, am wondering where you are living now. Can't believe your temperature was 104° the other day! 😲 I am glad that you got your knee replaced since it must have needed it, but SO sorry that you are in so much pain during recovery. I had my hip replaced in March of 2019 and my initial recovery was very painful. I think it was more painful because I waited too long (over 3 years) to have it replaced. Like Pat mentioned, I have always heard that knee replacements are harder to recover from than hips, so I can only imagine. Hang in there! 💜 I am so happy to hear that you are loving your mobile home! 😊 Also, I think I read in the July thread that your weight loss is stalled on 50 pounds. When did you lose 50 pounds? That is awesome!!! 🙌 🎉

Holly - It is SO wonderful to hear from you! I must admit that I am embarrassed as I read about your husband's clutter because, unfortunately, I can relate. 😢 I am in no way trying to make you feel bad for sharing about his clutter and your frustrations about it. I just have to come clean about the fact that I have a serious problem with clutter, too. It drives my husband totally nuts and is a very sore subject at times. I am very ashamed of the clutter and want it gone at this point, which is actually an improvement, but I am overwhelmed and just not good at clearing it. I never know where to start. My husband just dives right in and gets it done! I have to be in the right frame of mind to do it. Anyway, it is interesting that my husband and my roles are reversed from yours and your husband's on the subject of clutter. Maybe you can help me to understand and be more sensitive to his viewpoint. When he gets angry about it, I just shut down. It stifles me. 😢 Often, I feel like I'm a lost cause on the subject of clutter because I have battled the issue for so long. My mom has the same issue. On another note, I am so sorry that your regular summer job doesn't exist anymore. ☹ That just plain sucks! I know you always looked forward to going back to your summer job each year. I'm sorry that the 3 day gig came to an end so abruptly as well. Do you have any other ideas in mind for the fall? What ever happened to your work on that assembly line? I am so far out of the loop! Whatever you decide to do, I have the utmost confidence that you will excel at it, as you have every other job you've taken on. 😊

Pat - I hope you are okay. I hear and echo Holly's concern.

I am doing pretty well at the moment. Still TRYING to focus on one day at a time. I have good days and bad. I am very happy to report that I have had success with weight loss since I have posted here awhile ago! 😊 🎉 I was down to 157.8 pounds the last time I weighed myself in early August! I had a recent virtual appointment with my Endocrinologist and she set my goal weight at 145, so I am actually getting close!!! 😁 I can't believe it!!! My depression has been kept to a minimum, but I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety for several months now. My psychiatrist recommended that I get back into therapy, but the thought of that gives me more anxiety. Plus, I don't want to add even more appointments to my calendar. Family life continues to be a rollercoaster ride. I think my first priority is going to be to schedule couples counseling for me and my husband. We aren't in a deep, dark place or anything, but our relationship isn't exactly thriving either, so I think it could really help. I am just unsure about starting over with the process and a new therapist. Anyway, that is what is going on in my life right now. Not much new, except for the weight loss, which I am thrilled about!

Hope everyone is doing well when you read this message! Welcome to our two new posters! ❤

I think my long message posted twice. Sorry! I tried to edit it and I think it reposted instead. I tried to delete one, but no luck.

Originally Posted by VermontMom:
Good morning! hi friends :)

Lisa - that is so wonderful that you have a family of friends :hug: and that your friend in particular, Trinity, was so good to you right after the surgery. And so glad that your home is such that you love it and you are free to decorate. I have a personal question that I hope is not painful - do you still have Elvira? and I am so sorry but I forget where you live now, is it Washington State? when you mentioned that it was 104 the other day, OMG!! how do you survive that??

So very good to have you here again Lisa :) :hug:



I love writing to you ladies :)

We love writing to you too, Holly.

I do still have Elvira. She's 14 yrs young now. She's such a good doggie. We live in Washington State, we've been here for 3 years.

It's been really really miserable lately. Today it was nice but lately it's been 104, 107, 106. My house is miserable when it gets that hot.

Hello to everyone. I'll try to come back soon and greet everyone. I'm tired this evening.

It's late and I'm drowsy but I wanted to say hi.

Kathleen, let's see if I can answer and respond to your post before I pass out.

Yes, last week it was 107, 106, 104. My mobile gets miserable. It's like living in a tin can. I'm attempting to get an AC unit installed but my bedroom windows are crank out ones. I'll keep you updated.

The first 4 weeks after my surgery sucked. It is worse than my c section. The right knee needs it too. It was a toss up on which knee to do first. It won't be done anytime soon, I can tell you that. I won't go through this again for a while.

I have the best PT guy. He is so kind and encouraging. He makes it so that I don't mind going to get tortured.