Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
Hi
I'm just writing this down because I don't have anyone I could share this with and I coudnt afford therapy. For 3 years, I was doing well with weight loss and everything. This year, every thing went downhill as I gained 10 pounds due to depression in college. I know I take full responsibility for it. Weight loss was all I had and now it's gone. There is a wedding that I'm attending which is few days later which means there is no more time left for weight loss. Weight loss was all I succeeded in and now it's gone. I just want to die now. I just want this holiday to finish quickly just so i could go back to workout/diet routine quickly, I'm so impatient with myself, I just want to kill myself. Weight loss was all I had, I'm so angry at myself. I just want to kill myself. I will do everything to lose the weight because I'm ashamed of my weight, I don't want to be seen in public. If I don't lose the weight within few months, I'm killing myself I don't want to live as an overweight person anymore, I'm giving myself few more months. If I even dare to binge eat again, this means death as well. I don't care about anything but weight loss. If I binge eat ever again, I'm killing myself. I just want to die if I fail in weight loss, most of female's worth is based on their appearance anyways. I can't afford therapy and I don't want to share this with my parents, this is the only place I could share this. I'll never be good enough, weight loss was all I had. I just want to die, being overweight brings shame to me. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. There's no way out until I don't lose the weight. No one in my family is going to understand this. Im sorry if i sound depressing, I know I don't deserve sympathy because I'm a fat failure.
You’re not a failure and I am glad you reached out here. We struggle with the same thing you’re expressing, and this is a good place to check in and ask for help. This is a tough time of year for many people, and the holidays are rough. You are not defined by your appearances and you have far more to offer than you may think.
There’s only one of you in the world, and you are loved - by God and from many more people than you may even realize.
Check around here for some different forums/groups that may be able to provide some insight for similar struggles. I like the daily check ins for daily support from the support forum.
When you’re feeling low or like there’s no one to talk to you can always call 1-800-273-TALK. As a daughter of someone who attempted suicide recently, I can tell you that those around you love you far more than you know, even if they aren’t always able to express it.
Zara I understand feeling this way. I hope though that you can get the help you deserve to understand how worthy and important you are even though you are not the weight you want to be. I grapple with this too. Believe me I understand.
You are in college? Do they offer any kind of free counseling there? Because I truly believe that this pain can be helped. As I said, I suffer from the same judgements about myself re weight. Please stay alive. If you live in the US you can call 211 and find out where if/ where there is free or very low cost counseling. I had to call twice to find the right info. Some people are more resourceful than others. I found phone number for great free help when I called 211 years ago.
Thank you for your reply. There is a counsellor in my college that I've been visiting since may. After many sessions, she was like I can only help you with so much so you have to find some therapist outside your college. Now I don't want my parents to know that I want therapy, they don't even know that I was visiting a counsellor in college. The college counsellor was the only way I could get therapy as it was free now she's telling me to find some therapist outside the college as college counselling sessions were not enough to help me. I don't want my parents to know so I'm trying to find some way to get therapy online without them knowing. Ive always struggled with my weight and self esteem, I've always been the "biggest"one in the group. Especially in my Asian culture were being overweight is looked down upon. I would do anything to lose the weight, I'd rather live miserable and thin than enjoy food and life. Everyone wonders why im still overweight even though i eat healthy all the time, which is humiliating for me.I don't live in the US. I feel ashamed of eating in front of people because of my weight so id rather eat alone or even in bathrooms. This is one of the main reasons I avoid hanging out with people because there will always be some eating involved. I can't enjoy food like normal people like posting it on Instagram. Every time I seem insecure or less confident in front of my mom she just gets mad at me so I have to fake my confidence in this prison body until weight loss. I'll never be good enough for my mom, there will always be girls more prettier, slimmer, taller , and fair skinned than me to my mom. I was never conventionally pretty so weight loss was my only hope, which I failed in as well. If I don't do my makeup, I don't care about my appearance, If I do my makeup, my face looks cakey and dirty to my mom so I couldn't seem to win either ways. I always seem to look like a "dirty slob"to my mom no matter what. No matter how much I try to look pretty(hair,makeup,clothes,skin,etc), I'm still not "groomed" enough for my mom, I'm still invisible to boys. If I say any of my insecurities to my mom(even she struggles with her weight herself), she just gets mad at me and tells me, you don't try hard enough into your appearance even if I spent extra time in the morning to look decent. Im stuck with with huge gigantic head even after losing weight, round face, and small brown eyes on which no eye makeup look could improve it.No matter what, I'll always look like a dirty slob to my mom, my cousins will always be prettier to her. I also have some self harm scars, one on my wrist and two on my two fingers. She just doesn't see that is my only way for coping mechanism, she just tells me "you like making yourself look uglier and uglier everyday". In my culture, girls are supposed to be pretty and perfect to get married. My mom has to remind how no one is going to marry me if I act and look like this. I'll never be good enough for my mom, she has to compare me to other cousins and how pretty and successful they are. I don't want to hear it's what In the "inside" that counts because it's definitely not about the "inside" to my mom, it's all about the "outside". She never talks to me, she always looking at me up and down unimpressed by my appearance.(even she isn't model material herself) Even if I'm well dressed, I'm still invisible to males, even my mom once admit this to me which she wasn't lying about.I guess as an unattractive female, I'm not worthy of life or pay attention to. I always try to look my best before going out, even somewhere near and I still look "dirty". There is not one redeemable quality in my appearance. Anyways, I'm sorry for this long essay, I just wanted to get this off my chest since I couldn't share this with anyone. I'm 21 years old pakistani girl living in Canada if you're wondering. As for therapy either I have to find it online or there is no way I could get it.
Hi Zara. I can help you. Sometimes you just need someone neutral on the outside to talk to. Especially someone who can relate to how you feel. Been there girl. Still find myself there at times. As soon as I feel it coming on, I have learned coping skills that work for me and I put my mind on something else. Depression as well as anxiety including social anxiety are no strangers to me. I've been teased and called fat my entire life. I only remember my fat days. I was smaller until age 7. Since then my highest weight has been 320. Got down to 300. Depression been worse lately so now down to 270. It's a danger to lose weight like this because I know as soon as I eat, It's all coming right back. Binge eating is my usual issue. Comfort, acceptance and no judgement as well as an escape is what it provides. Maybe if we can find these traits in another person, they can motivate us to change our circumstance...I'm here and willing if you need someone to talk to.
Please take a deep breath and know everything will be okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. Things happen in life and what's life without obstacles and challenges. You had a setback that is all. If its depression, please have it check as soon as possible - the earlier it is catch the better. Or may have been just a stressful moment in your life. Just know, you're in control and you can shed those 10 pounds in no time.
I was i big depression half a year or 7 months... and I decide to change everything. Place where I lived... job. hobby
And It was really good decision!))
homegrowncannabisco. com/cannabis-seeds-rooms/marijuana-for-depression/mandarine-autoflower-marijuana-seeds helps depression. It has helped me, if I am not chosen, I will be depressed. Chose me please. Never depressed smoking a blunt to help my depression.
Depressed...
