To start with my husband lost his job 2 months ago. He still hasn't found a job and has only had one interview after months of diligent job hunting. No jobs in sight.

We tried to get independent health insurance, since he was not eligible for COBRA. Joy of joys. I cannot find one insurer (who anyone has ever heard of) to cover me because of my weight.

So in addition to being a total looser for not being able to loose the weight on my own now I can't even get health insurance so if I get sick I could cost my family what little we have left.

Not to mention affording my antidepressants. Without which I am a complete basket case.... I can't win for loosing these days.

I was starting to feel encouraged - but this letter today just feels like a total slap in the face.

I suppose I now have to try to find the energy to pull myself up again. I just don't know where I'll find it this time. All this makes me want to do is eat myself into oblivion.

Hi. I've had some request to let everyone in on my wedding:
The Day : May 8th, 2004
My wedding is odd in the respect that I have no maid of honor, no best man, no attendants. It's because my fiance and I have no friends/family members that we are close enough to have stand up for us. We've planned our wedding mainly w/ our parents, who will be seated at our head table. We just decided to do away w/ the attendant thing because all they would do is stand there and nothing else. It would have been a burden to pick people, when again, it would be to fill a space more than honor someone. Our witnesses are my father and my fiance's mother. When we decided to have no attendants, I felt so relieved. I've actually met other people who did the same thing. We're inviting approximately 100 people. I know a lot may not be able to come due to travel, but we want them to know we thought of them. Our colors are dark purple and gunmetal grey...kind of like pewter.
My dress cost me 108.56. It's not a traditional wedding dress. I do not like big froufy dresses. This dress looks nice and wedding like. It brushes the tops of my feet, it's a delicate material that feels like cheese cloth, but not as rough ( hard to explain) with stitching and little beads. It laces up the back, but is not fitted around my waist. It has a jacket thing that goes w/ it that has big sleeves with beading. The top of the dress is kind of like a tank top style. but it also looks like something I'd actually wear. I felt so awkward in a "real" wedding dress. I'm not wearing a veil, either. I'm wearing a crown of flowers,My mother calls it our hippie wedding because of my non traditional look at things. She means it as a compliment. I"ve always had "hippie" ideals for most of my life. and my fiance is wearing a suit. He hates tuxes, and if he's going to be comfortable any day, it should be our wedding day. We have the church, reception hall, caterer, DJ, gift opening place, and rehearsal places taken care of. My big thing is not to have a pain in the butt wedding. I refuse to get all crazy over droopy flowers five hours into the reception. As long as we are happy and I go to bed a wife that night, that's my main concern. I look forward to getting married. But it's being married that I really look forward to. Off this topic: I"m not sure about Dr. Phil, either. He was okay as far as relationships go, but what does he know about eating and weightloss? A lot of people who have never dealt w/ it themselves or know someone who has think they know the answers. It's always assumed that it's over eating, when rarely that's the problem. I don't watch much tv. Even when I had cable, I just watched T.L.C., A&E and Discovery. I normally dont' like sitcoms. I never could get into "FRiends", but I do like Frasier, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Will and Grace. I probably like other ones, too, if I could remember the names. I dont' like Reality TV. At first, I thought it was a cool thing, but it's everywhere. I wouldn't want to find true love on t.v. Some people go to bars, some people go to network execs...I like watching people on Survivor get kicked off...I never watched Joe Millionaire or For Love or Money. My guilty and embarassing pleasures are thigns like Ricky Lake, Maury Povich...trash t.v. makes me realize that things could be worth, or if they aren't, Im not letting everyone know that on t.v. I know who the father of my non existant kid is, and I haven't been cheating on anyeone.

Hi Ladies
Liz.......I am glad you shared your feelings.I think that is important.Hugs to you!

I lost a friend today and just dont feel like talking ( no.not my friend with ovarian cancer) Someone dear to me who had a stroke Sunday.

It makes me realize ( as always) what a precious gift LIFE is and is not to be taken for granted. Be good to each other.Be good to strangers.Everyone out there is fighting some kind of battle. I have all happy memories of this person.Even last week when she reached in her purse and bought a $20 book from my Grandaughter...Abby was thrilled..I was thrilled..we sold 5 that day for school!

We are to love one another !

Later
Cin

Mrs K
Sorry things are going so badly for you all. Sometimes things have to get worse before than can get better.

Hang in there! They are bound to improve.Dont worry in advance...many things we worry about never happen.

Hope you know people care.

Cin

Wow lots of good discussions going on here. I think its good that everybody is talking.

Lynnie, I take a time released multivitamin from GNC that I like. I think it is called Woman's Mega Vitamin or something like that. I can check the exact name for you tomorrow when I'm at work and have the bottle handy. You take 2 a day. They are big and green and loaded with vitamins.

Mrs. K, I'm so sorry to hear about your health insurance problems. I do understand. My son takes meds and all we have is a major hospitalization policy that doesn't pay for that sort of thing. The costs of meds and doctor bills are really high. I hope it all works out.

Alteaon, it sounds like your wedding will be just what you want it to be. I like the idea of a ring of flowers in your hair. That sounds pretty! BTW, I love Everybody Loves Raymond - too funny!

Leenie, I don't know if you were just throwing this question out into cyberspace or if you were really asking but you know me girlie, I gotta jump right in there - hope you don't mind ..... you said "And I need to get back into my spiritual life which I let go a long time ago. How does one get that back ?"

Leenie, I know you know the answer to your question and that I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know. ;-) You know that Jesus is always right there waiting on us to spend time with Him. We just have to spend that time with Him - in His Word, and praying and listening to your Christian music and spending time with other Christians I know you are busy (man do I know), but there is always listening to Christian radio on the way in and from work, or listening to the Bible on tape, I also get some daily devotionals thru my email that help me thru my day.

Just like your signature says "Jesus Loves You This I Know". God is Awesome! :-)

((((((hugs)))))))))
Cathy

Cin - you and I were on at the same time (again). I am sooooooo sorry about your dear friend!!!!!!

((((((((hugs))))))))))
Cathy

TWINS forever!

Cathy, Thank you for the reminder of God's awesome power and how there are so many ways to get in touch spiritually. I have some issues w/ my church because it seems very political. Thank you for reminding me that there are other facets of Christianity, such as Deb, the Christian woman I work with daily. She's a blessing. I feel kind of bad for my post about my wedding coming up after such bad news from Mrs. K and Cin. Unfortunately I can't help overly much due to logistics, but I do offer my prayers and thoughts. To give you guys as much support as you've given me.
This site is a life saver!

Alteaon, please don't feel bad about your uplifiting happy post, we love to hear good happy news.

Cin & Carole, I'm also glad your posting about the not so happy issues in your life, one thing we must do here is support each other thru thick and thin (so to speak) and happy or sad.

We all need to be able to celebrate when a celebration is called for and we all need to morn when morning is the case.

Happy, Sad, Silly, Angry, Embarassing.......post it all.

Remember your happy news might just cheer up those who are having a down day.

APRIL !!! You still with us ?