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Would you be offended if someone commented on your weight gain?
I remember one day I walked in at work and one of my co worker said hi to me and we exchanged pleasantries. I then went on about my business and while I was opening the linen room to put my purse away she said ' ' She put on so much weight! look at her bum! She was telling the other lady but she said it in very voice loud enough for me to hear it on purpose
Not only was it hurtful but I was also embarrassed. It made me feel worse and ruined my day. I told her after that it hurt my feelings and she apologized and acted surprised that it hurt me. Then she was ''i'm sorry, why didn't you tell me ' '? like what the heck how could she not know that? I feel like she was playing stupid and knew deep down it was hurtful which I don't understand since I didn't do anything to her. I was always civil and friendly towards her
I thought everyone knew that weight is sensitive subject for many people especially women. I lost the weight again and everytime she sees me she always looks my body .I go out of my way to avoid her because I feel weird and judged around her. We were not friends but we were friendly towards each other but things between us hasn't been the same since her comment. I don't out of my way to greet her but I reply whenever she says hi and nothing else.
Would be offended if someone commented on your weight gain like this?Would you still talk to this person?
I remember one day I walked in at work and one of my co worker said hi to me and we exchanged pleasantries. I then went on about my business and while I was opening the linen room to put my purse away she said ' ' She put on so much weight! look at her bum! She was telling the other lady but she said it in very voice loud enough for me to hear it on purpose
Not only was it hurtful but I was also embarrassed. It made me feel worse and ruined my day. I told her after that it hurt my feelings and she apologized and acted surprised that it hurt me. Then she was ''i'm sorry, why didn't you tell me ' '? like what the heck how could she not know that? I feel like she was playing stupid and knew deep down it was hurtful which I don't understand since I didn't do anything to her. I was always civil and friendly towards her
I thought everyone knew that weight is sensitive subject for many people especially women. I lost the weight again and everytime she sees me she always looks my body .I go out of my way to avoid her because I feel weird and judged around her. We were not friends but we were friendly towards each other but things between us hasn't been the same since her comment. I don't out of my way to greet her but I reply whenever she says hi and nothing else.
Would be offended if someone commented on your weight gain like this?Would you still talk to this person?
I think this coworker is terribly rude and I wouldn't consider her a friend at all! I'm so sorry you have to deal with a person like this and you shouldn't have to put up with comments like that. You are in your rights to be offended and to answer your question, if one of my co-workers spoke this way of me I'd be offended too and I'd make every effort to get away from her. I'm glad you told her to her face how you felt, good for you! Don't let people like her bring you down!
“when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” : Maya Angelou
Free country. Folks are free to say whatever mean things they want. Trying to understand mean people takes too much time and energy. I would not bother trying to explain how someone's comments made me "feel"--such people don't care. I focus on forgetting and moving on. If mean comments are unintentionally rude or misinterpreted, best to let them go. If intentionally mean, then don't give the person the satisfaction that the comment bothered you or that you even heard it.
She's creating and perpetuating drama-- put an end to drama by refusing to react . You're not a victim, and you can't fix her. Stay out of her play. She'll soon find another victim.
Focus on the work. Outperform her. Build workplace alliances (based on work interests and success, not on mutual dislike of this one). Hold your head high, and smile while you do your job. Don't let her block your path to success.
....better said than done, I know.......She's not the last turd life will throw at you.
“when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” : Maya Angelou
Free country. Folks are free to say whatever mean things they want. Trying to understand mean people takes too much time and energy. I would not bother trying to explain how someone's comments made me "feel"--such people don't care. I focus on forgetting and moving on. If mean comments are unintentionally rude or misinterpreted, best to let them go. If intentionally mean, then don't give the person the satisfaction that the comment bothered you or that you even heard it.
She's creating and perpetuating drama-- put an end to drama by refusing to react . You're not a victim, and you can't fix her. Stay out of her play. She'll soon find another victim.
Focus on the work. Outperform her. Build workplace alliances (based on work interests and success, not on mutual dislike of this one). Hold your head high, and smile while you do your job. Don't let her block your path to success.
....better said than done, I know.......She's not the last turd life will throw at you.
Well said! As long as you're doing your job and maintaining an air of professionalism, Telly, she can't touch you.
And:
"What other people think about me is none of my business." - RuPaul
I'm not easily offended, even when people have remarked to me or others about a weight gain I have had, but the "look at her bum" part combined with making sure you heard, pushed it over the edge for me.
I wouldn't waste any worry, anger, or thought over it, but I would probably lose all respect for such a person.
When someone would says something like this to me, I would laugh and act like I was shocked but amused (like they've done something incredibly embarrassing and I'm embarrassed for them) and say something like "I can't believe you would say something so inappropriate, you must be so embarrassed."
After a while, my "acting" became my real response. I really am amused when people act this pettily. I've also found that decent people are embarrassed and contrite when you point out inappropriate behavior. Intentional bullies get defensive and angry, which is both a little sad and a little funny. Either way, only my problem.
I don't usually feel hurt, because I don't see fat as something to be ashamed or hurt over. To those who make a big deal out of my weight, I want to say (and sometimes do) I'm fat, so what? Get over it, I have.
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I would have looked around to see who she was talking about! LOL People try to bring you down in an effort to make themselves feel better. Say hello to her, but don't ever forget she is not your friend.
I have experienced what you have and I think that it comes down to insecurity and jealousy, believe it or not.
I had a very good friend who I was very close with. We worked together. I was quite a bit more overweight than she was. She did struggle with her weight but not like I did. She was the most unsupportive person during our friendship when it came to weight issues and when she would go on these fad diets and weight loss programs it was nothing but "you could lose weight if you really wanted to" crap. At the time I was very young and my assertive level was zip! I would let her walk all over me.
After years of putting up with this nonsense and about 6 months of professional therapy I finally cut off the friendship and realized that she was in her own way insecure and jealous. Of what, I don't know, and really don't care. After the friendship ended for the next year I got notes on my car at work of her telling me how she was doing in life, as if it really mattered to me.
The point is that of course it hurts when that woman said what she said! It would hurt anyone's feelings! We are human, we have feelings and I think as women and being over weight we are particularly vulnerable BUT, good for you for being assertive and sticking up for yourself. What do you do next? Get as far away from someone like that as possible. My Mother used to say that unless someone is adding to our lives, get them out!
My friend who I cut off at work I simply pulled her out into the parking lot one day and told her that I couldn't be friends with her anymore and I never spoke another word to her. She asked why and I wouldn't even give her a reason. At that point if she didn't know, I wasn't gonna tell her. It was work and it was business as usual for the next two years until I quit that job and moved onto another. You don't have to be friends with anyone at work and you don't have to be friends with a toxic human being like her. Good Luck
I have experienced what you have and I think that it comes down to insecurity and jealousy, believe it or not.
I had a very good friend who I was very close with. We worked together. I was quite a bit more overweight than she was. She did struggle with her weight but not like I did. She was the most unsupportive person during our friendship when it came to weight issues and when she would go on these fad diets and weight loss programs it was nothing but "you could lose weight if you really wanted to" crap. At the time I was very young and my assertive level was zip! I would let her walk all over me.
After years of putting up with this nonsense and about 6 months of professional therapy I finally cut off the friendship and realized that she was in her own way insecure and jealous. Of what, I don't know, and really don't care. After the friendship ended for the next year I got notes on my car at work of her telling me how she was doing in life, as if it really mattered to me.
The point is that of course it hurts when that woman said what she said! It would hurt anyone's feelings! We are human, we have feelings and I think as women and being over weight we are particularly vulnerable BUT, good for you for being assertive and sticking up for yourself. What do you do next? Get as far away from someone like that as possible. My Mother used to say that unless someone is adding to our lives, get them out!
My friend who I cut off at work I simply pulled her out into the parking lot one day and told her that I couldn't be friends with her anymore and I never spoke another word to her. She asked why and I wouldn't even give her a reason. At that point if she didn't know, I wasn't gonna tell her. It was work and it was business as usual for the next two years until I quit that job and moved onto another. You don't have to be friends with anyone at work and you don't have to be friends with a toxic human being like her. Good Luck
Some people really are clueless when it comes to commenting on weight issues or other social conventions. The vast majority of people pretend like they don't notice my dramatic weight fluctuations...actually, they tend to comment positively when I'm on a losing streak but they keep their shock (not out of their eyes) out of their comments when we talk.
I'm glad you told her that she hurt your feelings...now, it's time to move on from her. Don't let her mean spirited comment impact how you feel about yourself. Someone like this isn't worth your time/energy. Focus on yourself and the fact that you're a kind, wonderful person. I believe our weight is not for anyone to comment on. I don't mind if someone asks me how I've lost weight but that's pretty much it. If anyone starts to discuss my weight, I usually change the subject but if someone keeps talking about it, I'll tell them that I'd prefer not to discuss it and that usually does the trick.
Holy cow! I was going to say something very off-color here about her, but I will refrain. Suffice it to say, she's a childish, insensitive bully and you should avoid her like the plague. Honestly, I would cut her out of my life immediately. First, if she can't realize that making comments like that, in the workplace, is bad enough - but to do it within earshot of the person you are bad-mouthing is just incomprehensible to me. Yeah, I'd be hurt, really hurt. My gosh, what kind of person does that?
Sorry but your co-worker is a total jerk and is someone that deserved to be called out. I think its really rude how people feel free to talk about someones weight gain as if its a discussion about the weather. I've had the experience of gaining weight this past year rather quickly, and am SOOOOOOOOO OVER the negative comments I get from people. I've decided the next person who feels the need to point out the fact I've gained weight (WOW I DIDN'T KNOW!) I'm going to call them out on it. When its said in a negative way its just a form of bullying and nothing else.
Terribly rude. She must have some internal issues of her own. While our issues may be our weight, hers may be her jealously, inferiority complex, addiction to attention, so on and so forth. If she continues, report her for harassment. Other than that, move on and recognize you're a better person
uh......yes, I would be greatly offended! You can always take her aside and say to her that what she said was of no surprise to you, that you see your self naked everyday. And....that you will lose weight but it's really none of her business anyway.
Would you be offended if someone commented on your weight gain?
I believe our weight is not for anyone to comment on. I don't mind if someone asks me how I've lost weight but that's pretty much it. If anyone starts to discuss my weight, I usually change the subject but if someone keeps talking about it, I'll tell them that I'd prefer not to discuss it and that usually does the trick.
