November Ups and Downs Friends Battling Depression
 

:welcome: to all! we are a small but mighty group of friends that come here to support each other. Listen or post away, we welcome everyone.

I completely forgot about starting a new month!

Today I see peeks of the sun :sunny: not much, but its the first sun since a week ago! Temp is chilly, just climbed to 38.

Enjoying my weekend off so much! still get stomach twinges when I think of the new job. As I was put on 'easy' stuff last week, but my friend Lynn was on the production line, and struggling :( I have a feeling that will be my turn this week. I know that as newbies, they don't expect perfection! just showing up on time and being open to learning.

Very upset about something else, I know i told of our younger son and his marriage problems, his wife has been moved out for a month now. He finally responded enough to agree for us to get together this afternoon, then he bailed :( He knows we are concerned but 'just can't talk about it now'. We weren't even going to bring it up at all!!!! but of course it would be 'the elephant in the room'. God this is painful, and I know it's a thousand-fold painful for him.

I didn't do any exercise on the days I went to work last week, my sleeping schedule is so out of whack. I did work out yesterday and today, will try so hard to keep it up. I NEED it for winter snow shoveling and just living strength.

hope to hear from all soon :hug:

Is anyone else experiencing log-in problems? Twice now, my password has been rejected. It's a simple process to reset just wondering.

Hi Holly, I don't have log in problems, but I checked the box on the log in screen to stay logged in so maybe that's why. Gotta get cookies one way or another :lol:
I enjoy this thread very much and one of these days would love to join this lovely community. For now, thanks to you for the November thread and the sunshine, energy & kindness you bring to 3FC.
Congrats on that new job. Fwiw I think that stomach feeling will pass eventually. In my experience, some anxiety actually sharpens my mind and I learn & perform better. Once you have a little experience under your belt, your auto-pilot will be there to help. I like my job now, but truthfully, my favorite ever was an assembly line job. Nothing like yours, to be sure. It was in a frozen foods processing plant, Brussel's sprouts. There was comaraderie, good pay, and on the line, my mind could do a lot while my hands were busy.

Sorry to hear about your son going through such a painful experience. I would bet that he feels supported by his parents and is helped greatly by that. I'm not a parent, but I imagine one of the hardest things is to know your child is hurting, and have faith that they will work it out for themselves somehow.

:wave: to all of you fabulous folks on this thread!

Holly!
 

Welcome!!!
 

Sundove
 

Good to see you post Kathleen.

I'm doing good. Just haven't felt like posting. It's not bad just feeling a little quiet.

I love everyone here so much ! okay was that too sappy?? but you all say exactly what I want to hear and it brings tears to my eyes . Thank you so much. First, for the support about the job and your belief that I will 'get it' eventually, it just sux when you know you are good at some things but it isn't apparent at the moment :rofl: We were kept til 1:00 a.m. last night and I was told that is common! oh well!

Second, for the commisseration about our son..thank you!! and this morning I see that our daughter-in-law has changed her Facebook name to NOT show her married last name anymore. All I can do is 'be here' for our son. :(

But the positives are you fantastic ladies in my life!!

Sundove you NEED to be a permanent person here :D Well I am not telling you what to do but you get my drift!! you are incredibly sympathetic and wise sounding and I love to read what you write.

Kathleen so good to hear from you !!! But oh my gosh so sorry to hear of your daughter, yes she was always the trooper!!! and to have her struggling too must pierce your heart. Oh it would be great to find a therapist with the same struggles but how do you search for that. LIke you said, possibly someone in the field might know. So hard for you!! and oh the news about the arthritis, and that your one choice of exercise is getting compromised, you have had too many hard things thrown at you!!! and we are keeping you in our prayers with your relationship too honey!!

Pat I hope the time at the dealership yesterday was not too uncomfortable and that your car is set for the winter? you keep such careful track of calories that is commendable.

Lisa my friend so good to 'see' you here :) come back and talk when you don't want to be quiet! :hug:

HI to COOP ! and Monica :)

Yesterday my husband and I worked on our roof :fr: Once I got up there, I realized that I wasn't going to just fall off but I had to be careful because of the shingles are in bad condition and coming loose and that was the slippy part. We had to brush off the loose stuff, get the 5 gallon bucket of incredibly heavy sticky horrible black stuff (tar? like tar) up there and secured, slap that sh*t down ( I thought it would be like frosting a cake but NO ) then lay down the big rolls of tar paper, then nail it down. While trying not to fall off :rofl: and it was COLD and windy. I was SO happy when we were done with the relatively small patch but it was important to get that part fixed (leaking). We go back up there tomorrow..but it will be a little milder, in the 40's not in the low 30's. You gotta do what you gotta do. Thank god for my relative good health and nimbleness, guess that's why I work out, for life challenges!!

Flower,
It's not just on here. It's on all my boards, that I've been quiet. I haven't been spending as much time online which really isn't a bad thing.

Holly,
I hope you are getting more comfortable at your job. I just know you'll be a pro in no time.

Kathleen,
I am so sorry your daughter is struggling. I hope she changes her mind about therapy. It really would help.

It's freakin cold here this morning. 29 degrees. Lord have mercy.

*Pokes bread in sheepishly*

I'm so sorry I've not been around much lately everyone :( I've been a very poor forum contributor! I hope to read back over October and catch up soon x

Well so much has happened with you all over the last couple of months!

Holly I'm really sorry to read about your job situation - it didn't sound like you were going to get on all that well with the new bosses... I:m so glad you've found a new job :) it seems like a positive change, even if the hours are a bit off.

I'm sorry about your son as well :( change is never easy, but I hope he picks up soon!

Kathleen - I'm sorry you've been struggling with marriage problems lately :( you guys sound pretty solid, so I hope things continue to get better!

Your poor daughter must be finding it tough with the change of finishing school and starting college :( it's really common to get depression when that happens - my mum worked in a university here, and she saw it very often. I hope you find a therapist who can sympathise.

Glad the physiotherapy is helping you!

Lisa I'm so sorry you had to take kitty to the emergency vet! What a shock! I hope you have a great trip in Spring, and can have a second Christmas then :)

Great news to hear your pills are working more effectively, and you've settled in with a good church group!

You sound a lot more positive!

Flower how have you been getting on with your food budget? Have you managed to keep off the chocolate?

I hope the winter is short for you this year! I know what you mean about needing a change of season, I really would like winter to be a bit shorter as well though :(

Hope the car is doing well!

I'm sorry if I've missed anything/anyone, I had a lot to catch up on!

I don't have much excuse for not being by much either!

We had a really nice holiday in Sept :) i fell off my diet pretty badly for a few weeks, and I've struggled to get back into it. I keep getting back to my pre-holiday weight, slipping up, gaining a few lbs, and starting all over again!

I've been doing another 6 week block of personal training sessions, I'm pretty strong now :strong: I feel thinner for it, even if I haven't lost much weight :D

Oh and today I reached a goal I've had for years: to run 5k (3miles)! It took me 38 minutes.

We've also been looking at buying a house outside the city - not sure when we want to move, we're just watching out for a house that ticks all our boxes :)

I don't have much more to report just now, but I'll try to stop by soon!

Sorry I have been away for several days. Sometimes the days just pass by....

Kathleen congrats on the 5 lb loss. That's great. Are you enjoying the Toyota Highlander?

Lisa 29 degrees IS cold. Next Wednesday they are forecasting a daytime HIGH of 27 degrees. So many days have been colder than normal. 7 of the 10 days in the forecast are def colder than normal. Not boding well for the coming winter. Hope you are continuing to do well


Coop congratulations on the 5K run. in 38 minutes !! That is awesome! Sounds like you are doing great with the personal training sessions. Makes sense that you would feel like you lost weight. Muscle weighs more than fat. So the scale may not reflect that your body has gotten more lean. Wishing you best with the house hunting. Sounds like an exciting thing to move "outside the city". Thanks for asking about the chocolate situation. Some days are good. Others not so much. Today was chocolate free.

Holy I hope the past few days have been good for you at work. I am thinking you had the weekend off. That's a luxury. Are you finding that you are getting more comfortable yet with the job? As I said before I think establishing muscle memory is not a quick process. But when it comes, you will be as fast as the others. I really do feel that.

Things have been good here. Been cold out. Today the wind chill factor was in the 20s. Wednesday it will be winter coat weather. But other than that things are good. Still trying to get a handle on the food thing. Today I was able to have an apple instead of chocolate. I cant believe how close we are to Thanksgiving.

I hope everyone has a good Sunday !

Hello! I've been absent for a couple days too.

COOP - so good to 'see' you again!! WOW congrats on the running!!! and completing the strength training block!!! you sound stronger :D Exciting to think about you buying a house best wishes!!!

LISA - we are here for you whenever you want to be un-quiet again :D :hug: Yeah that is cold!! Did you get the couch you were thinking of, a while back?

FLOWER - hello to you, my neighbor :) We got 3" of heavy wet snow on...friday? i think. We were lazy and didn't shovel the driveway on Saturday and it compacted down to 1" thick ice/snow. I had to chop/shovel it all yesterday. Good workout :strong: Lesson learned....always shovel that sh*t up right away :rofl: Very glad I'm not feeling it in my arms/shoulders today.

thanks again for the faith you all have in me that someday I will feel more comfortable at the new job. It's just so immature of me to get the stomach roiling when I think of having to learn a new task. I was put on a new station Friday night with a very patient nice lady, my age, the first few minutes were confusing, then I kinda got it. But then assembled 4 of them wrong. The guy next to us had to hand them back and i was so afraid that I had assembled dozens of them wrong, but it was just those 4. And the lady was not perturbed at all, which was a blessing for me. I made sure to thank her for her patience and told her how appreciative i was of that, as a newbie.

I was trying to find used snow tires on CL but decided to just bite the bullet and spend $400+ for new. I would have had to drive 40 some miles to search for the used ones and then take the chance that the tread was not good. So I'll have brandy new snows put on Wednesday, and I am lucky my mechanic could get me in that quickly, at first I was quoted not til after Thanksgiving.

Well, our son finally 'allowed' us to get together yesterday. I will tell you this. Last week when I saw that his wife had changed her Facebook name to get rid of her married name, plus my husband talked to son on the phone and son said "it's over" , I felt it was the right thing to do to Un-Friend her on FB? right?? Not that we even talk or exchange anything on FB. Well, yesterday my son took me aside and said 'she was really hurt by that'. WHAT??? I managed to keep my composure and said 'you have hardly told us anything so I was just going on what I see' and he said that 'she is not the bad guy in this scenario, she is struggling too, we still talk and are trying to work things out'. well I did NOT know that. But it made me feel so bad to be admonished like that, I sat there and the tears started coming and I just went into the bathroom and sat down and cried for 10 minutes and no one even came to see why i was gone.

I STILL don't know what the deal is, and maybe my son' doesn't either, I will just freakin go with the flow. :rolleyes

Holly - some people do take it really personally when they're removed from Facebook! I totally get why you removed her though, I'm sorry your son doesn't and that he made you feel so bad for it!

Glad the new job is still going well, and your colleagues are so nice :)

Pat DON'T EAT THE BAGUETTE! :lol: bread is my big downfall too. It sounds like you had one of those "I've broken the diet today, I might as well go all out" type days? I was like that for about 3 weeks in September :lol: but tomorrow is a new day, and you'll get a clean slate.

I hope santa hhas brought you some early presents :D

I am not sure, but as winter is coming in, I think I'm getting a bit of SAD? I feel a bit down/tearful. A bit lonely too.

My dad has been forced to retire now, not before time to be fair (he's 68) but I am quite worried about him - he's gone from full time working, to nothing, and he seems a bit lost. To top it off, he's got skin cancer! Thankfully it's non-melanoma, so it's non-fatal, and they can cut it out with no other treatment. He also seems to be going into a downward spiral, and he can tend to drink a bit too much when he gets like that. I need to look into some volunteering ideas for him, see if I can get him out of the house a bit more.

I am doing well thank you.

it'll be hard not to be home for Christmas. I'll probably be posting every day being sad. I'm going to send presents to my daughter through the mail.

it's great to see you again Coop.

You're doing sooooooo good!!! Wish I could run but I just can't. My knees are crap. I got a cortisone shot in my right one last week.

I go back on the 27th for my left one. It's only a matter of time until I have to have surgery.

Flower,

Its been getting into the early 20s at night for a couple weeks now. Winter will be here no time.

I hope we get snow this winter. We hardly had any last year. I'm from Ohio, I'm used to lots of snow.

Holly,

I did finally get my couch. I love it!! I'll have to post a pic sometime.

Family crap can be so hard and so stressful. My brother still is not fond of me but it is what it is. You are a great woman, don't let that whole situation make you second guess yourself. It takes two to tango. Grown children can be a pain in the ***.

Bread is my downfall too. Plus chocolate.

I'm not going to the gym anymore. I just don't like it. I got into a size 22 jean today, from a 24. The 22 is snug but just that i got in them and zipped is something else!!!!

I've got kittens. I guess I told you already. They are walking but still very small and uncoordinated. They certainly get around though. A couple even come tottering into the living room looking for their momma. One of the little boys is very attached to me. He constantly climbs on me and loves when I hug and kiss on him

:rofl: this was hilarious!!! :D

thank you Pat for the insight about my 'hurt child' feelings. Kinda rang true! You have lots of great perceptive thoughts for us!!
Yeah how about all this snow??? we got almost a foot. And I will be a SUPER - positive person and say how glad I am for this free health and strength building workout opportunity (shoveling) :)
I hope you get the scale to a number you are happy with, for your appt on Tuesday!

Coop Oh gosh that darn SAD that gets us starting every November!! battle it!! My husband probably groans at the thought of the electric bill but he has every light turned on for me, plus every room has a string of pretty white lights. Sorry to hear about the forced retirement for your dad, volunteering is a great idea. Oh gosh and sorry about his skin cancer diagnosis!!! but at least not malignant.

Lisa - kittens sound adorable especially the cuddly one!! and CONGRATS on being down a size!! that is always such a great feeling. Oh and you know I am always generous that I want to send you some of our snow :D

Hi to Kathleen ! and PandaCupcake, where are you :(

Thanks for the commiserating about the son and daughter-in-law stuff, I sent her an apologetic email AND a new Friend request on FB and NO response from her, it's been a week today. I've done my part, I am NOT gonna stress about it.

So great to have weekends off like a 'normal' person!! Last week we had 7 hours overtime and my paycheck was NICE!!! this week was 'only' 3 or so hours overtime. This week coming up, we might have to bust butt for Mon Tues Wed., but we have Thanksgiving and Friday off. They won't be paid holidays for me, as a new temp, but that's okay!! I will do alot of housecleaning and then start my Christmas cookie planning. I am going to make LOTS of cookies to bring to work, I have to show them that I AM very good at something....just not assembling :rofl:

Oh hey!! at work last week they had a local hospital there to do a 15 minute 'health analysis', my friend Lynn signed us both up. I was reluctant but she was all "we're still on the clock so we get paid to be away from our assembly for 15 minutes" so I agreed. I had never stepped on one of those fancy-pants scales that you hold the handle-thing and it measures EVERYTHING..muscle, fat, etc! I did show 4 pounds heavier than my home scale but I had on jeans and 2 shirts..plus my friend Lynn said hers was the same amount over. BUT I am 'normal' weight for my height now; my BMI is just on the 'normal' range; blood pressure was high but this was taken at work, and I need to do my regular cardio to get that down. My visceral fat was measured to be almost next to nothing!! AND my muscle percentage was higher than expected!! loved to hear that!!! :strong: all that damn shoveling LOL!!

I'll post again later but I got a vet appt for Elvira on Friday. Her third nipple has changed shape. It's bigger and heavier. I called the vet immediately. Im scared.

Holly Sorry that the DIL is being so confusing. Not accepting the friend request. You have done what you knew to be right. I think you are running up against her likely strong feelings atm. Great that you have a 4 week weekend. I didnt know that officially are considered a "temp". WTG re the "health analysis" at work. You work hard for those healthy results!

I cant believe how cold it is going to be on Thanksgiving.

Lisa, how is Elvira doing?

This thanksgiving I will be home except to feed a neighbor's cat. The neighbor asked me to feed her cat while she is away. Thats okay, but the cat likes to bite. And is an escape artist. I found myself standing outside trying to coax him back into his home. I was of course only successful when the cat decided I would be.... an hour later. I still cant figure out how he did that. I am good at not letting cats get out of doors. He may be a magician. Meow :D

tomorrow if he does the same thing, hes on his own. I am not standing outside in windy and cold weather. Today he broke skin on my hand biting me. I LOVE animals. But this cat is challenging this long held blanket unconditional love, lol. okay, in the cats defense, after 15 minutes standing outside in the cold, I was not hiding my frustration. For me it is difficult to be responsible for someone's pet who sneaks outside and refuses to come in. She rarely lets him out. He's a house cat who perpetually longs for the great outdoors. He's a big and very male guy :lol:

This neighbor got into the habit of often asking me for various favors. Finally I had to put a stop to it because the "favors" were expected way too frequently. If we were friends, or even very neighborly it would be different. So when I finally let her know that I am not available for her various needs, she backed off. This is the first one in a number of years. So of course I said yes. Unfortunately the subject of this favor bites, barfs (which of course I am supposed to clean up) and sneaks out, lol. I would prefer to not have to stand outside and wait for a cat to decide he has had enough time being outside. especially tomorrow when it will be so windy and cold. I do think that tomorrow I will prevail. Hoping I dont find chunky barf on the floor again. I was warned this happens. Its because he is a long hair boy. Fur balls :D
Thank you for listening to my rant. I appreciate it. :)

Hoping everyone has a good thanksgiving.

Hello friends, Happy Thanksgiving!

first, Lisa, we are thinking of Elvira and you!! you are a good doggie parent and you called the vet right away and we will be thinking of you tomorrow at the appointment and hoping and praying for good news!!! :hug:

flower well drat that barfy mean cat!! I am NOT happy to hear he broke your skin!!! does he have all his shots?!? that neighbor really oversteps to ask such of you, of such a horrid creature. I love most animals also but I would NOT love that meanie. I hope you didn't have to stand outside in this FREAKISHLY COLD weather for him!

Hi to everyone else! I hope you all had some sort of nice Thanksgiving.

Again, the absent daughter-in-law messed with our Thanksgiving plans, we were supposed to go to younger son's place (me, husband, and other son) but she decided she wanted to spend the day with him...maybe. So that of course puts his hopes up. I don't know if she even showed. We had our older son over here, my husband cooked his usual great T-giving food and we did a few Mad Libs...but we were feeling younger son's absence and thinking of him of course.

The absent daughter in law did finally accept my re-Friend request but has not responded to my nice email.

Oh hey!!! some of us are the same age. If any of you have considered getting the shingles vaccination, Shingrix, be aware that when you get the second shot, the booster, there is a large possibility of having temporary debilitating side effects. Yes , I know!! I had the booster on Sunday afternoon at a supermarket pharmacy, where I had the first shot in August. The technician definitely should have counseled me on the side effects possibility, I would have re-scheduled. But she didn't . When the needle went in it felt like it was coated with acid. I said, "wow that is stingy, the first one wasn't' and she said 'oh yes, the second one is stronger' or something dumb like that. A couple hours later I had the usual muscle soreness where the needle went in, and a few hours after that, my whole arm was sore, and I was worried about being able to do my duties at work the next day, Monday.

Monday I woke up and felt okay except for the sore arm. But as the day progressed, especially in the late afternoon, started feeling really bad. Like coming down with the flu, when every joint feels like it's burning with fire or filled with broken glass, every cell and muscle hurting. By this time I couldn't raise my arm and it was tender in the armpit and down my side too. And then the uncontrollable shaking. Like when you are going into shock, that kind of deep, whole body shaking. And this was at work! I tried so hard to 'keep it together' but realized i could not. Got a supervisor and they were concerned about me getting home safely. It's only 5 miles I told them. In the parking lot it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other to get to my car. In town I actually stopped to consider going to the ER (we have a small hospital right in town) The only thing that kept me, was thinking of the cost, it is at least $500 out of our pocket. I decided to just go home. Drove so slowly and carefully yet 1/4 mile from home, closed my eyes for too long and jerked awake as I saw the guardrail looming. thank god I avoided it!! got to my driveway and just about careened down it. Got into the house, was able to remove boots but crawled into bed with coat, gloves, scarf still on. Just laid there concentrating on one breath at a time. Was able to get up in the night to properly undress and get a big container of crystal-lite type of drink by my bedside, I know it always helps to drink lots of liquids pretty much whatever is wrong with you. Got through the night and in the morning called my doctor, who confirmed that Shingrix does prevent shingles like 95% but a high percentage of people have to put up with some side effects, from mild to temporary debilitating. Yeah I was debilitated!!! I called out from work :( which erases my 3 weeks of perfect attendance for my $1/hour raise!!! I have to start at 0 again for that! But anyway I spend all day Tuesday in bed, and woke up yesterday feeling MUCH better, and by yesterday afternoon just about 100% back.

well thanks for listening to that, my captive audience :D

I did a huge, unintentional cleanup today :rolleyes: our older son's room has become a dumping ground, not by ME because I don't do that sh*t. But i have been a nice quiet wifey and not nagged about it. I do know husband has been 'saving' (HOARDING) cardboard, he said he will put it on the parts of the lawn that he wants to suppress weeds. Welll, he does NOT do yard work at all, and just putting down cardboard does sh*t against weeds, I've laid down tarps and the weeds still come up! and you would not believe the amount of cardboard that was in there..dozens and dozens and DOZENS of boxes (all from amazon, from stuff he buys online) they were flattened but SO VERY MUCH. Well I went into the room to put a tray of our desserts, it is an unheated room so it is very cold but not freezing and I didn't have room in the refridgerator. I had to clear a freakin path :mad: just to get in!!!! then got so mad, just started grabbing as much of that crap and throwing it into the adjacent living room..then got my boots, snow pants, gloves, everything (it was 5 above zero outside) and started hauling it out. Then I had to cut it all down!!! to fit into our big recycling bin. I would have never done this with him in the house before...I didn't care. i am almost 58 years old and I am not gonna live with effin roomful of cardboard for something that will never get done. And it's a fire hazard!!

Well now you can at least walk into the damn room but it is still awful. Now I'm all mad again, lol. I was seriously p-o'd about it earlier and not very Thanksgiving-y feeling. Guess I should be glad I got so much out of the house in one shot. Gonna get to the rest next week after the recycling is picked up, the bin is stuffed full of cardboard now :D

Elviras appt is at 1030 this morning.

She needs that appendage taken off but it doesn't look cancerous. The vet quoted $500 for her operation. It'll have to wait. Right now it's wrapped. She seems more comfortable.