September Ups and Downs Dealing with Depression

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  • The weather has been so nice here. Fall is definitely here. This reminds me of why falls my favorite time of year.
  • Lisa. I hope you like your new workout clothes. Have you gone to the gym yet? so the headaches etc are allergy to something in the sir this time of year? sinus headaches can be painful. . I am allergic to fall in general. But that's because it's the harbinger of winter, which lasts way too long. And gets way too cold

    for me the food thing is not in control as I need it to be. I have been doing emotional eating, way too many carbs. Not sure how to reel it in. This food addiction is fierce. I am not completely out of control. But I need to get back in a groove. The emotional eating started up again nearly 2 years ago.

    I bonded with my potted basil plants. Now I can't put them in the cuisinart, grind them with oil and freeze the,. Let's just say friends don't grind and freeze friends I have to use the leaves to make "flower essence" from them. And that's a big learning curve for me. I found instructions I like. But just need to take a deep breath and do it. Been making greeting cards. They all are images of flowers and trees. Although the newest one will be an image of a monarch butterfly on a butterfly plant! If I can get a great pic of a dragonfly I would be totally excited. So happy that the weather is not hot at night.

    Hope everyone is doing well. Hi to all
  • Lisa - I hope your sinuses are not bothering you still, that can be irritating at the least and painful (pressure!) at the worst. Beans are a great source of protein! but I HAVE to take that "Beano" product or else everyone suffers Hope you are feeling good, Lisa!

    Flower (Pat) we were VERY lucky to escape frost the other morning, it must be due to being close to the lake, a tempering effect. Yes I saw blackened plants along Rt. 100 who did not escape! I'm glad Basil and Rosemary got to have inside time with you and yes it is hard to grind up friends!! Your cards sound beautiful. I don't know how I will adjust when it is real killing frost time this year, I have so many flowers that I LOVE, it will be hard.

    Hello to Panda, Coop, Kathleen, Monica!

    Does any one have family or friends in the hurricane zone?? i hope not!!\

    Finally cooler overall here!! but not too cool.

    I was 'allowed' to work 4 hours at the store on Wednesday ( ) The situation is, if they have something to do, I can work, but if not, then I'm not wanted, grrr!! Yes that is a normal business situation but I have been doing this for 14 years and it sucks. And it just seems that they do not trust me, as I have not been given a key, and I was told not to do a cash out at then end of the day, to leave it for them to do later. And some new scrawny kid (kid meaning a 22 yr. old) was given a key and had to let me out at closing, that was like a slap in the face. Like I said, I am smiling on the outside but furious on the inside about them, will just play the game until I find something else for the winter.

    I have gained a few pounds, it's getting so that I put off getting on the scale because I don't want to know the truth, and yes I am slipping back into the habits that make the pounds slowly creep on. I know I have to try to identify why I want to eat when I am not hungry and I either can't tell or don't care! (at the time)
  • Holly Do you think the boss at the store is doing a bit of retribution because you did not choose him first? So he is sending you a message that because you did not choose him first, he is choosing you last. I will be glad when you get a new winter job. A job where you are appreciated by the boss. You deserve to be respected for your work ethic and skills. I hear ya re the pain of a killing frost. Its hard for flower and plant people to live so many months with brown gray and white on the ground. I will not move away. But i do need longer growing seasons. Ouch re: seeing blackened plants on rt 100. That hurts. Sorry you too have gained weight. I know you will turn it around. But I understand how it can be a challenge to get back in a groove.

    Lisa I hope your sinuses are doing better today. Many years ago there was a product I could buy at the health food stores. It was brilliant at draining sinuses. BUT then the FDA made one of the ingredients, ephedra, illegal to sell OTC. So the company stopped making it. There was not much ephedra in there. I could even take it and fall asleep. But it was made illegal anyway. I never found anything to take its place.

    I have to be accountable online for my eating. I need to publicly log in the number of calories I ate each day. And possibly what I ate. I might start a thread where I can do that. left to my own devices, its not a pretty picture. Today I did not have any chocolate. But I don't think I can stop having the bamba peanut puffs. I need an intervention

    I hope everyone is doing okay. I am SO grateful for you all. And for this monthly thread!!!!!
    I hope all in the path of Hurricane Florence stay safe.

    Pat
  • Hello friends!! Pat, I had to google Bamba peanut puffs I have never heard of them but they do sound snacky delicious!!

    Okay..I had a rough day. I quit the winter job this afternoon My co-worker emailed me at 7:00 am to tell me that she quit at about 6:15 this morning, the boss was absolutely goading her into frustration and anger and she just had it. Then he sent me a very intimidating and interrogating email asking how some information was getting spread around the work place. I made the decision to quit on my own instead of waiting to be fired / let go. It was horrible and my stomach has been roiling all day but its a done deal ...at least I have a full time job (and then some!! I am picking up more shifts at night) for 5 weeks. So I will be okay. But kinda in shock because even though I griped about it, I was at that store every November through April for 16 years!!
  • Hello! Well, my daughter's schedule was switched around a bit, but she is making the best of the extra time she has between classes. Her second class on Tuesdays and Thursdays is in their athletic center, so she goes early and walks around the track several times and lifts weights in their gym some of the time. She carries her backpack on her walker while she walks on the track. The other day, a guy who works there told her she could put her backpack in a locker while she walks, but she said she likes the added weight. He told her that she works out harder than most of the people that go in the place. (Keep in mind that she is handicapped and walks with a walker and leg braces.) That's my girl! My son is also doing well so far this semester at his college. He is a Junior now. He is not nearly as into school as my daughter is, but he is getting up early and making it to classes and doing the work. He has come a long way! I thank God for his progress. He still isn't quite where he wants to be in life, but he is in a much better place than he was a year ago. That makes my heart happy! Since there is always something going on in my life that is stressing me out, I will share that things aren't great in my marriage at the moment. On the surface, all is okay. But we have some serious underlying issues to address, and I know we cannot do it without the help of a therapist. We just can't communicate without unresolved anger getting in the way. We've been married almost 25 years and dated for 9 and 1/2 years before that, so we have A LOT of history together. I feel too emotionally exhausted to go to couples therapy right now. I know that sounds awful, but I'm just not ready. If any of you could send some prayers or positive vibes my way in this regard, please do. I would greatly appreciate it!

    Lisa: I'm so sorry about Jennifer's dog that died. I am pretty sure you know how I feel about dogs. That is wonderful that she could give "Pats" a loving home for her final two months on earth. So by "hospice dogs," do you mean she takes them in when they are terminally ill? My gosh, if so, that would be SO difficult... but so needed. It takes a special person to be able and willing to do that. It sure sounds like Jennifer has a big heart! I hope your sinuses are feeling better by now. I get sinus headaches and migraines, too. They are the worst. That is great that you joined a gym and treated yourself to some new workout clothes. Let us know how it goes when you first hit the gym!

    Holly: Wow, that winter boss is a piece of work!!! Why on earth would they trust a 22-year-old with a key to the place instead of you?!? You deserve SO much better!!! Did you ever hear back from the place where you applied... where you said that you could see that they had read your application? Have you applied anywhere else? When does that winter job start... or has it already started? I wish you could stay at your summer job all year round! How late into the year will you be able to ride your motorcycle? Sorry you will have to part with your works of art ~ your beautiful flowers ~ one day soon. On a positive note, that is so awesome that you have been off meds for over a year now and have been able to turn your negative thinking around most of the time. That does take hard work. I'm SO incredibly proud of you! You are an inspiration to us all!

    Flower: Sorry to hear that you have struggled with emotional eating lately. At least you are keeping a sense of humor through it all! I hope you will be able to turn things around soon. Glad that the temperatures are coming down a bit since your A/C is broken. Your greeting cards sound lovely. There was a time several years ago when I wanted to start a greeting card company. I absolutely love brightening people's days with greeting cards! You seem to have such a wise and insightful view of things. Thank you for all of the wonderful thoughts and ideas and support that you add to this group. You are truly appreciated!

    Is Panda okay? I haven't seen a post from her in awhile.

    Hello to Panda, Coop, & Monica!
  • Holly!!!
    Holly: Oh, my gosh! I just read your post after I finished my long post. I am so sorry that you had a rough day, but I must say that I am relieved that you quit that dreadful winter job! They do not deserve your presence!!! I am happy to hear that you still have your summer job for five weeks. That gives you plenty of time to find something new for winter. After 16 years, it will be an adjustment, but I will keep you in my prayers that you find something suited just right for you... where you and your great personality and work ethic will be appreciated! Sending you big hugs!
  • New avatar pic... for a while. pic taken in April this year.

    IBelieveInMe2 The story of your daughter exercising with such dedication is absolutely amazing. It really gets me in my heart. Big smile on my face. I am glad your son is doing well too. I often think that marriages can go through a big challenge when all the kids are gone from the house. I am sending prayers for sure. Surrounding you with light. Sometimes couples therapy is not the answer before individual therapy. Of course I have no idea, even for myself, lol. So I cannot know for anyone else. Just wanted to write it. Anyway, please know I am sending light and prayer. <3 thank you for the kind words you said to me. If I knew how to blush, I would be blushing. Re the greeting cards. Yes!! I give them as gifts or trades to people. And many people like to give the cards to people just to make them happy. Flowers are so healing for the heart and soul. <3 Sending flowers to you. I too have been wondering where Panda is... if she is okay

    Holly 16 years is a long time to be in a job and then leave it. I know its easy for me to say, but you know the whole thing about: when we let go of something that is not working, we make room for the next thing to come in. The transitional time is very challenging. I hope you will soon find a perfect job working for someone who is deserving of you.,.. and who pays well !! I will send out some good vibes for that. in the meantime, hang in there. I know that loss of job (however it happens) can be very challenging, to say the least. And yes. Bambas are dangerous. Especially since they only cost a dollar a bag.


    Hi to Lisa. I hope you are doing okay. How is the working out thing going?

    Hoping everyone is doing well.

    The anxiety is really getting to me today and yesterday. I will not go into details. But it is financial. I am doing relentless self talk to try to convince myself that it will be okay. Tonight I finally went out and bought Belgian chocolate callets to self medicate. I think I need a miracle,

    Hope you all have an awesome Sunday, Pat
  • I finally got up the nerve to weigh myself. Not quite as bad as I anticipated.
    I started a thread in the depression area here, to log in food and calories. Hopefully that will keep me accountable.

    I hope everyone is doing well. <3
  • Hello everyone, I just thought I'd pop into this thread as I have suffered with depression for many years, particularly with seasonal affective disorder when the nights drawn in. I have bought myself a SAD light last year and found that really helps. Worth looking into for anyone that thinks they might feel low going into the winter
  • Quote:
    I finally got up the nerve to weigh myself. Not quite as bad as I anticipated.
    I started a thread in the depression area here, to log in food and calories. Hopefully that will keep me accountable.

    I hope everyone is doing well. <3
    I weighed myself at the gym and I was very sad. Still 297.
  • Quote: Hello everyone, I just thought I'd pop into this thread as I have suffered with depression for many years, particularly with seasonal affective disorder when the nights drawn in. I have bought myself a SAD light last year and found that really helps. Worth looking into for anyone that thinks they might feel low going into the winter
    HI Susan. Welcome!!

    I love winter but hate hate hate that it gets dark so damn early. I'm going to get a couple lamps so I can turn them on when it's dark at 5 pm.
  • Quote: Hello everyone, I just thought I'd pop into this thread as I have suffered with depression for many years, particularly with seasonal affective disorder when the nights drawn in. I have bought myself a SAD light last year and found that really helps. Worth looking into for anyone that thinks they might feel low going into the winter
    susan, welcome. So glad you found what helps you! Anything to help, right? Thanks for sharing that info. I hope you have a good day.

    Lisa hugs for you. I so remember the feeling of weighing myself when I was quite overweight. It was painful. I love someone very much (like a daughter) who is in emotional pain over being quite overweight. Her wife and I only see her extreme beauty, light and good heart. That's what we see when we see her. I see your good heart when I read your posts I know it's not easy, Lisa. I have been there
  • I got a bunch of free clothes yesterday, most of the bottoms were 1X so they don't fit. I'll put them away for next year. Most of the shirts fit.

    I went to church this morning. I like it there. It's about 10 minutes from where I live.

    My sinus' are fine. I have been getting headaches but it's fall so that's kinda normal.

    The weather has been really nice here. 70s.

    I hope you all are good.
  • Quote:


    susan, welcome. So glad you found what helps you! Anything to help, right? Thanks for sharing that info. I hope you have a good day.

    Lisa hugs for you. I so remember the feeling of weighing myself when I was quite overweight. It was painful. I love someone very much (like a daughter) who is in emotional pain over being quite overweight. Her wife and I only see her extreme beauty, light and good heart. That's what we see when we see her. I see your good heart when I read your posts I know it's not easy, Lisa. I have been there
    Flower.
    I get sad sometimes but I just remind myself that
    1. I haven't been eating good lately.
    2. I've only been going to the gym a short time.

    I've hit a plateau. The first 45 came off kinda easy. The next 45 looks like it will be harder.