Ups & Downs Support Group: February 2015
 

iBelieveinMe2,
hi..my name is lira, 28 yo. i'm married, work a tough office job in a cramped room full of cubicles and backstabbing colleagues. i'm 45 lbs overweight.
i have adhd & depression. it's a daily battle. my house is a mess & thinking about cleaning up already make me exhausted.
today was not a good day. it was bad weather, i had an argument with my selfish mom (she has a toxic personality) and i have to clean my room,prepare my bag & stuff i need for my monday morning work commute. i rather lay in bed browsing the internet than doing the packing & cleaning

Hello!
 

lira: It is so good to hear from you again! I'm so sorry to hear that you work with a bunch of "backstabbing colleagues," and that you had an argument with your mom, and that she has a toxic personality. :( That must make things very stressful for you since you battle daily depression. Just curious: Are you on meds and/or in therapy for your depression? I am in the same about clearing clutter and cleaning my house. I tend to procrastinate whenever possible because I get overwhelmed and don't know where to start. You are right, sometimes it is exhausting just to THINK about doing it! :dizzy: But I am working hard to break the habit of procrastination and just do one thing each day that gets me closer to my goals. Baby steps! I don't always accomplish much, but I am working on making small changes wherever possible. For me, it begins with getting my mind in the right place. This is how it is for me with weight loss, too. I need to adjust my thoughts, which affect my feelings, which impact my behavior, which ultimately determines my outcome. I have been focusing on thinking positive and envisioning myself as (already) being successful at the things I want to accomplish. I am beginning to see positive changes in my life since doing this, but I need to be patient with myself in the process. I hope this is making sense. I thought that maybe by sharing my experience, it might help you in some way, too. Of course, we are both here surfing the internet and NOT getting done what we need to.....LOL! :lol: But sometimes it helps to know that you are not alone in your struggle. We are here to support you in any way that we can ~ with the clutter, procrastination, and the weight loss! Best of luck to you! Please keep in touch! And hang in there! :hug:

What happened to January?!?!?

Not a good day today. Backstabbing work politics. Yes, on Sunday. Thank you, email. And thanks AHs at work for your vigilance in defending your turf at all costs. At All Costs. Children are starving. Grandmas need help crossing the streets. Cancer needs curing. The SeaHawks need a hug. Doesn't matter. You hang onto that little postage stamp of turf you've carved out for yourselves. That's ALL that matters. DAes.

(perdon, ladies.) After stopping the pre-surgery medications, I've been gaining weight, and I'm miserable. I just want to feel hopeful about something. I' m not feeling hopeful about weight loss or my career. (or lack thereof)

I'll be hoping for good things regarding your biopsy, Ibelieve. And happy distractions to take your mind off things. Sometimes this journey through life takes us into tunnels. Hopefully this tunnel will be short and you will have a hand-holding partner who will scream with you.

Good morning February people! My birthday is in February: this year I turn SIXTY on the 22nd. So anyway, I've always had a good feeling about this month, and I grew up in a place (Houston, Texas) whether the weather was quite pleasant in February. In fact, the new bikinis went on sale right around the time of my birthday. Since I was a bikini-wearing teenager, that was a good thing. And the azaleas and camellias were in bloom!

I'll stop chattering about Houston, because for those of you who follow my collage, I have a new one up, titled "the messenger". (Click on the image for a larger version.) This one is quite strange. Maybe you can tell me what it's about. =laugh=

Hi. I hang out at another thread at 3FC. But I thought I would give this one a try. Because I do live with depression. I may have been here before when I first joined. I was in maintenance then as I am now ( even though I gained some, that I need to lose). But it is always a huge struggle to keep the weight off. I have been a habitual yoyo dieter over the decades. Sometimes weighing more than 200. Gaining is my default.

During the holidays I gained weight. Its like I fell off the wagon. And now I have to get back in the groove of dieting. Not so easy .I can do it for a few days. And then slip. I just got the taste for forbidden foods again. And went back to some old habits of eating. So I gained and am having a hard time getting the relentless cravings under control. That's my story right now. I tend to be a supportive person. But will hide the depression issue unless I am in a place where it is appropriate to occasionally refer to it. Sending best to people.

Welcome Back!!!
 

flower123: I remember you from awhile ago. So :welcome: once again to the group! So happy you posted! Sorry that you gained weight during the holidays and are finding it tough to get back on track. Remember that just because you battle depression doesn't mean that you aren't strong and supportive to those around you! Please feel free to talk about depression here and whatever other challenges you face in your life. We focus on BOTH the ups AND the downs, so it's all fair game! :D I highly suggest that you change the idea in your mind that "gaining is your default." While it might FEEL that way, it doesn't have to BE that way. I am currently researching and being coached on the power of POSITIVE thinking and visualization as it relates to weight loss. There is a significant amount of research that proves that we can actually change our brain chemistry (for the better or worse) with either positive or negative thoughts. You may have also heard of the law of attraction, which is a popular notion these days, too. The idea is that what you focus on, you will attract more of that into your life. I believe these ideas because I have witnessed them at work in my own and others' lives. And, I figure that, if by chance they work, I might as well think positive because it makes my mood better anyway! So it's a win-win situation all around! :D Just some "food" for thought for you! I wish you the best as you get yourself refocused and back into maintenance mode. Glad you are here! :)

Invincible1: Interesting and sad that you and lira are both dealing with backstabbing co-workers. :devil: That must be so aggravating!!! So sorry to hear that you've been gaining weight and feeling miserable and hopeless. :( How is/are your eye(s) doing after the surgery? I hope it helped! You said that you have had multiple surgeries on your eye(s). What exactly is the problem they are trying to fix? (Sorry if you already shared this info.) Thank you so much for the wishes for "good things and happy distractions" regarding my biopsy. I like that idea! :D I will just be relieved to have the results so that I can move forward with my life. I am ready for whatever comes my way! Have you journaled about feeling hopeless? I hate that you feel that way. :( Please feel free to share all you want about your feelings here in the group. Sometimes it helps to get an outsider's objective perspective on your situation. Just an idea. Do what feels comfortable to you! Hang in there! I am sending you a big hug :hug: and some HOPE!!! :)

Hi there, I believeinme2, Thank you for your great response. Sorry. I usually know better than to be negative. It was a temporary slip :) I studied for years with a psychic institute. As well as shorter stints at other institutes for psychic and spiritual advancement. Then there was the altering expereince when depression hit. Before then I worked at a healing clinic for years giving healing to people free of charge. So I agree with what you said. Nevativity has no place in the healthy thought process. Point well taken. I normally no longer succumb to depression. But I had a slip yesterday. That is when I posted. Back in strength and positive thinking. Onward and upward. Thanks again for your reply. Wishing you VERY best and blessings !

Hi everyone. Joining this thread as I struggle with depression and anxiety. I'm having a rough night tonight, hence me seeking this thread out. I had a falling out with two friends tonight and it occurred about 20 minutes before my personal training appointment. I was running out the door still trying to text and then I was so frazzled I took a wrong turn on my way there. I ended up 25 minutes late. My trainer wasn't thrilled but she was nice enough to give me 45 minutes instead of the 35 I had left (supposed to be 1 hour appointments). i feel really anxious over the situation but I don't want to let it get me off track.

Welcome!!!
 

thewickedcityx: :welcome: to the group!!! So sorry you had a falling out with two friends tonight! :( Despite feeling frazzled and anxious about the situation and being late, good for you for still going to your personal training appointment! It probably actually helped with some of the anxiety. And you took another positive step forward by posting in this group! :) So there are some positives to focus on in the midst of the chaos and anxiety! If the friends are worth keeping and healthy for you to be around, I hope you will be able to work things out with them. If not, maybe parting ways is in your best interest. Regardless, take good care of yourself and do your best to stay on track. You are in control and you can do it! :hug:

Fi: Happy Milestone Birthday Month!!! :balloons: We will celebrate YOU all month long, but we need to have a HUGE virtual b-day bash on the 22nd!!! :celebrate: Do you have any special plans to celebrate your big day? How have you been feeling? Have you been able to do your Qigong lately? And has it helped? What about your leg exercises? How is Bob doing? Your collage is very interesting. I've never been good at interpreting other people's art, but I would love to know what that sign says that the messenger is carrying! People seem shocked at "the news." It even turned one person upside down! What do YOU think (or know) the sign says?

flower123: I am not at all saying that you can't share your "bad" or "negative" feelings in this group. We want to support you in both your ups and downs and I don't want you to feel like I'm judging your posts. I was mainly speaking to your comment about gaining weight being your default mode. Anyway, you are allowed to have a slip in your thinking and/or a bad day! So PLEASE don't feel bad about yourself for anything!!! :^: That was not my intent at all! Just wanted to clarify that! :hug:

Thank you so much, IBelieve :) very encouraging

Hello, found the Feb. thread, thanks Kathleen (IBelieve) for starting it :)

I am married, 54 yrs old, 2 grown sons, and funny dog Eddie. My winter job is deli/cashier from November to April and I hate it and hate my evil boss; my summer job is pastry chef at a private lodge in the woods and I love that one! I have somewhat controlled depression; I take Wellbutrin, I work out about 4 to 5 x's a week, and I 'come alive' in summer when I can live on my motorcycle :D I am a lifelong yo-yo dieter, have a distorted body image, and am working on more positive thoughts daily.

Lira - real sorry you had words with your mom...do you live close or is it by phone? If it is such a toxic relationship, is it possible to just keep distance..really sorry about that. And the work situation, why are there always people that are so ruthless :?:

Hi Invinceable1, real sorry you also have to deal with backstabbing colleagues! especially on a Sunday! and we HOPE so much that your eye problem will be alright?? don't know what the situation is but our eyes are sooo precious. Hope you are OK today :)

Hi flower123, welcome back :) I hope you find it supportive here. If you live in Vt. but don't love winter then that is in itself a reason to be depressed! at least it's still light at 5 pm. Hey you don't need to apologize for expressing any negative thoughts, but you are right that it sure does help to try to train ourselves to go positive. Hope you are doing good today :)

Hello thewickedcityx, welcome :welcome: and sorry you are feeling depressed and anxious! but kudos to you for still going to your personal training appointment after a falling out, good for you!

Hi Fi and I'm glad you like February! you can have my share of it :rofl: I just think of it as a month to 'get through'.

Hi Kathleen and we are soooo pulling for GOOD news about your health!!

I've been trying to stick to my working out at least 4 x's a week but my eating is feeling out of control. Possibly when I see signs of Spring is when I can focus better. Usually at this time of year I am at least trying :?: and slipping up but I'm not even able to 'try' ! I have a huge "plus" that my husband has been restricting carbs for himself since October and has lost weight..he cooks dinner every night and I am so lucky for that! but I can't feel satisfied without a piece of toast after dinner.

I've been over my cold for almost 2 weeks but i am still so full of gook that I can't be anywhere without my Puffs tissues to get rid of it. I guess I should be glad that it's draining instead of stuck in head or chest.

I'm new!
 

Hello everyone,

My name is Nicola and I'm 25, living in British Columbia. For as long as I can remember I have hated my body. Sure, it's strong and reliable for the most part dependable for avoiding/fighting off illness. But, I find myself 100% hung up on my appearance. It has lead me to some pretty self destructive behaviors, hating myself the way I do. I keep failing when establishing a weight loss routine. I am either ALL IN or ALL OUT. I go from dropping 25 pounds to gaining 20 in a matter of months. The yo-yo dieting and weight loss has really taken a toll on me. I work out every day, tons and tons of cardio and weights. I used to olympic weight lift, but I have given that up because I was gaining muscle mass and general bulkiness and I couldnt take it anymore. I weigh myself every morning and am devastated when I don't lose any weight. I have done my research, I know that weight loss doesnt work that way.. but somehow I need to see the numbers changing to know that I am making a difference and all the fitness is worth it. I am a broad shouldered, 6'0, big woman and most of that are things I cannot change. I'm reaching out because today I didnt lose any weight on the scale after eating minimally yesterday and resting (too exhausted to work out). I am terrified that I am walking down a scary scary road.

Hey everyone :) and a special Hi to Holly!

I used to post here quite a bit, I'm bi-polar with an anxiety disorder and it used to control my life but last year I finally decided I would control it. I've really come to terms with it and I'm finally getting comfortable in my own skin although there's still too much of it haha. I still have my ups and downs although they are much more managable and I'm able to articulate the issue and reach out to my husband for support. I know I'll always deal with this but I really feel like I've gained a handle on it.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop in and say hi to everyone and let you know to keep your chins up... it can get better. Posting here helped me and I hope it's helping you guys too. I won't be posting here much because I'm still emotionally influenced by things around me... and I don't want to be that annoyingly happy person who keeps saying "It's not so bad!" because I HATED that person while I was depressed. It's hard to believe I'm almost that person... so just this one time... life isn't perfect, but it's not that bad.

I just made a new collage that I think y'all are going to like. It's called "a journey of light". It was inspired by something my Qigong instructor said: "We are all beings of light."

Welcome!!!
 

Nicola & Aunty Jam: :welcome: to the Ups & Downs Support Group! So happy you both posted! :D

Nicola: Thank you for sharing quite a bit about yourself with the group. You are a very courageous woman! It helps us get to know you! I am so sorry that you have hated your body for as long as you can remember and that it has led to self-destructive behaviors. :( That makes me feel so sad for you. :( Do you have any ideas about WHY you are so hung up on your appearance? Was it "taught" to you in your childhood? If so, by whom? [***You don't have to give us answers to these questions. I am just giving you some things to think about if you haven't already.***] Was there a specific event or trauma in your past (e.g., abuse of some kind) that caused you to be obsessed with your appearance? Were you criticized for your appearance as a child? If so, by whom? Have you taken on the role of your own best critic by using negative self-talk now? If so, many of us can relate. A lot of us can also identify with the feeling of failing repeatedly with our attempts at weight loss. So you are definitely not alone or bizarre in any way (at least not in this group)!!! :) Oh, boy, can I relate to that all-or-nothing thinking and behavior! I am really working hard right now to overcome that "stinkin' thinkin'!" It is so UNproductive ~ at least for me! You said you have done your research, so I assume you know that it is best NOT to weigh yourself every day (due to daily fluctuations that will drive you crazy) or put so much emphasis on the number on the scale. It is just a number, and I was recently told by a weight loss coach that it is very inaccurate anyway! It is not really the whole picture of your health at any given moment. If you could possibly get yourself to view it as just information/data (without any judgment), I think you would find it to be a positive step in the right direction. Would you consider weighing yourself just once a week ~ on the same day, in the morning (before breakfast) each week? OR: My coach recently asked me to consider measuring my belly :fr:(YIKES!!!) instead of using the scale. If interested in this technique, she said to suck in your gut (or not; just be consistent from week to week) and measure around your belly right over your belly button. She insists that this number is actually more accurate than the scale, in addition to being a more loving and accurate way to measure progress. It doesn't surprise me that you can't get the number on the scale to budge if you are working out so often and eating minimally (like yesterday). You probably have a significant amount of muscle (which, as you probably know, weighs more than fat) from all of the weight lifting you do. And since you do "tons of cardio and weights," you actually need to eat more to meet your caloric requirements and keep your metabolism going. Obviously, it is important WHAT you are eating, too. One other thing that strikes me is that you aren't giving your muscles time to recover if you are working out with weights every day. Believe me, I realize that I am NOT an expert on weight loss by any means!!! I am just sharing some information I have learned with you in case it might be helpful to you (or someone else in the group) in any way. It sounds to me like you are putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself surrounding that number on the scale. And YOU are so much more than a number on a scale!!! :hug:


Aunty Jam: I am also bipolar and have general daily anxiety. I went through some really rough times several years ago, but I also feel as though I have things much more under control these days. I still have many ups and downs, too, but my mental health is much more manageable now. That is so awesome that you decided that you would control your mental health issues rather than letting them control you anymore. :D HOORAY FOR YOU!!! :carrot: I really appreciate you posting to encourage everyone along in our weight loss journeys and to remind us that "it's not so bad" and that "it can get better." You are living proof of that! :) Please feel free to post here ANY time, but I also understand the reality of still being emotionally influenced by things around you. Just please know that you are always welcome in this group! :hug:

Holly: It is so great to hear from you! :D I appreciate you taking the time to reintroduce yourself to the group and to the new members. I forgot about your dog, Eddie! :love: (As you know, I am a huge dog lover!!!) You are sure rockin' those workouts!!! Working out 4-5 times a week is awesome!!! No doubt you will get your eating under control soon and see results if your hubby is cooking low-carb meals for both of you every night! (My hubby cooks much of the time, too. Love it!) So happy to hear that you are over your cold, but sorry about the excess gook left behind. :yikes: Thank you for checking in. Hope to hear back from you again soon! ;)

Fi: I love what your Qigong instructor said about us all being "beings of light!" Your collage is very cool! I think it is my favorite one yet! :) Hope all is well with you and with Bob!

IBelieveInMe2

Thanks so much for all your advice! You have certainly given me loads to think about

Kathleen— That's terrific news that you've lost nine pounds! It just hasn't been fair that you give so much support and positive messages to other people on the group, but have been stuck on that $&@#% plateau yourself. (Not that life is ever fair...) It's time for you to have a good number on your scale—past time! It sounds like that coaching class you've been taking is helpful indeed—plus your endocrinologist, of course. You go, girl!

IBelieveinme2 - Great job! :) And thanks.

Where IS everybody?

For those of you that follow my collage art: I just uploaded a dinosaur collage: "mid-century melee" (That's not a very good title: I may change it.) Be sure to click on the image for the larger version. And there's a lot to read, too. =laugh=

good morning! and :welcome: to nicola! thanks for your introduction :) I am so sorry you are struggling and feeling desperate. But wow I am so impressed that you previously lifted so professionally!! that takes such self-driven control. I also loved what you wrote about your body, that even though you feel negative on your appearence, you appreciate what a kewl machine :D our bodies are, that even if our body doesn't look the way we want, it gets the job done :carrot: I hope you find support and kindness here the way I have :love:

KATHLEEN!! :bravo: :cp: :cb: :dance: :dancer: :cloud9: so many congrats on your awesome loss!!!!!! :D :D :D Hmmm now who has positive proof that deciding that program was a good thing :D That is so fantastic. What a wonderful assertion that you can do this!!

and again you gets props for being so supportive and kind to all of us here :hug::hug:

Hey Aunty Jam!! (I've 'known' her for years) GOOD to hear from you and yes we understand that we might not hear from you but it is so great that you are at a point where you feel OK!! How is winter (ugh) for you up there?

Fi, you really create some kewl images! my dumb computer didn't allow me to enlarge enough to read but I appreciated what I saw from the regular size :D Hope you're doing good :)

Lisa (Ohiospirit) - are you OK?? I hope so :hug: Please let us know, we love you :) and are thinking of you.

HI to Lira, flower123, wickedcityx, Inviceable1 and anyone else I missed :dizzy:

I am finally completely over my cold, no more gook :yikes: For working out, I am doing the diff. levels of 30 Day Shred, because it is a quick workout (25 minutes) and it kicks my butt so bad :D My eating is still pretty terrible, but I am hoping that my annual shift of thinking comes soon, just worried that usually by now I am on a more determined path with Spring, tee shirt weather, and motorcycles on my mind.

Please send me some positive thoughts on dealing with the public!! I am right on path with getting SO TIRED of interacting with customers, my usual deep well of patience is DRY :devil: and I have the most awful, mean thoughts about people :rofl: and we have a huge busy weekend coming up, then Monday is PResident's Day, and the following week will be H-E-L-L because the neighboring states have no school, so it is a huge ski week. So instead of having a killer weekend, we will have day after day after day :shock: it is always like this, but we don't have any additional help :?: because the boss says 'we just will get through it'. Which is true...but is will be hard.

OK - I accidentally told a customer last night that his purchase was $20.80. So I said out loud, 'that will be twenty-eighty'.
He says, "what?? Twenty-eight dollars??"
I said, 'oh, no excuse me, twenty dollars and eighty cents".
Then I looked at the register, and it was in truth, $20.68. I don't know why I said the other amount..so I said, 'oh gosh, no. It is actually twenty dollars and sixty-eight cents".
He says, 'then why did you say $20.80?'
and I looked at him, really exasperated, and said, 'um , because it's at the end of a long day?' and my voice kinda broke at the end, because it WAS at the end of the day.
He says, 'I think you were trying to make 12 cents for yourself'. And maybe he was joking, but I thought it was a crappy thing to say.
So I said, kinda meanly, 'if I was going to steal money, it would be for more than 12 cents, believe me'. And we left it at that :devil:

Hey everyone!

here to report-mostly to hold myself accountable and express what is going on. I let go and binge ate on saturday and yesterday. Saturday I had a huge burger and fries for lunch then I had pizza for dinner (not a little bit either). That tends to be how I do things... I feel that there is no sense in only eating a little bit... I might as well just go crazy and eat all I feel like to get it out of my system and carry on the next day. Classic binge-eater thinking. I did the same thing yesterday. I at minimally all day then ate TONS of candy and chips for dinner. I am supposed to go out for dinner tonight with my husband and his parents-chinese food... possibly my favorite junk food of all. All I want to do is go to the gym for 4 hours so I make up for the calories. I feel hopeless and helpless, like my goal of 180 (and even sooner goal of ONEderland) is further and further out of reach. Today I feel moody and lethargic (possibly from all the sugar). Anyways, thanks everyone for all your kind words lately! Even if i am not necessarily gifted with the written word-it means a lot to me :)

thewickedcityx I can relate to your post so very much! I also have difficulty with anxiety and depression. I find starting at a new gym very overwhelming. As well as not progressing every single day very depressing! I hope you get as much out of this forum as I do :)

ibelieveinme2,
thank you for responding. i'm currently on deprex
indeed i'm still battling procrastination it's a daily battle
invicible1,
wow we share similar situation at office with backstabbing colleagues,hang on in there. i'll think of you. let's support each other.
today is bad weather, i'm so lazy to go to work.
why am i glued to my bed? i'm now commuting but my mind keep thinking about laying down in my bed browsing internet & watching tv.
after returning from work i usually don't have the energy to do anything

Hello Everyone!

I only have time for a quick check-in. This morning, I had another breast exam, an ultrasound on my left breast, and 2 biopsies! We were at the hospital much longer than I expected. But all went pretty well, despite being painful and scary. They will contact me within 48 hours to give me results from the biopsies. Just trying to wait patiently and think positive in the meantime. I have read all of your posts and will try to post personals soon. Please know that I am thinking about all of you and wishing you well! My coaching program is still going well. I have just been crazy busy and really need to focus to be successful. Working on slowing things down, remembering to breathe through it all and pay close attention to my body's physical hunger and satisfaction cues. I have a private call lined up tomorrow afternoon with my coach. That should help. Take good care everyone and remember to be as kind to yourself as you are to your best friend!!! ❤

ibelieveinme2
my thoughts are with you i hope the results are good
please check in & let us know

I'm puzzled today, because I'm down to -2, the beginnings of depression pain—which I experience as physical pain, mostly in my chest, underneath my sternum (breast bone). Maybe it's because I've run out of a couple of my medications, and will soon be fighting with my insurance company to get them to pay part of the bill for getting a 2-week supply at my local pharmacy. (Unless I screw up and run out, I get all my meds by mail order.) I'm on six different psych meds, plus a supplement, and they're a b*tch to keep up with.

The kittens are so sweet, though. Nénu now likes to climb onto my chest while I'm reading or using the iPad, and today Oscar didn't just curl up to take a nap with me, he got onto my pillow and put his soft face right up against my cheek. He can be such a nuisance—stealing everything he can get to and using it all as cat toys, throwing Bob's mouse onto the floor, scooping whole shelves' worth of books & papers onto the floor. They both have the size & strength to climb all the way to the ceiling in many places, and are engaged in their own reversed version of the BERP: instead of reducing entropy, they're constantly increasing it. The primates may be in charge, but the felines sure make a lot of messes. It's the two of them pitted against the two of us, and now that they're fixed they don't have those sex hormones causing hours of pitched battles with each other: we are the focus of their attention. Orientals are famous for never growing up, for having kitten energy and kitten creativity all their lives, but I hope they'll soon reach a point where they don't have to assert themselves so destructively.

Anyway, I don't feel very good, as I'm sitting here waiting for the meds to kick in. And my eating behavior is chaotic. I'll go as long as a day and a half or two days totally on plan, and then act out by buying donuts or cookies.

But Grace and Mike (my Qigong instructor) bring so much light into my life. Not all of the stress I'm feelin' these days is negative stress: a lot of it is positive. I showed that black-&-white collage ("a journey of light") to Mike, and he liked it so much, I gave it to him. I felt really good about that. Art is so marvelous that way: it conveys complex emotions quickly & immediately.

But I can't do art in a -2 mood state. I can't even daydream about it. The meds don't seem to be working, so I gotta stop now.

(((((((((((((((((positive thoughts for Kathleen!)))))))))))))))))

Possible bad news.......
 

I missed the doctor's call tonight, so have to wait until morning to get my results from the breast biopsies. I have to say that the doctor sounded pretty somber and concerned on the message he left, so I am preparing for/thinking the worst. :( The reality is sinking in a bit more, so I am feeling a lot of anxiety tonight, but I will bounce back and think positive and move forward IF this is cancer! Anyway, that's about all I have to say for now. Gonna try to get a decent night's sleep. Will check back in ASAP. Fi, sorry that you are feeling -2 depression pain and the meds aren't working. So kind of you to give the collage to your Qigong instructor! Holly and lira, thank you for your messages of support and concern. Nicolas89, sorry you are feeling hopeless and helpless. Please hang in there and keep posting! We are here to support you. :hug:

I need prayers!
 

Guys, I do have breast cancer :cry: so please help me to keep thinking and visualizing all POSITIVE things!!! Will have surgery in next 4-6 weeks. Left breast mastectomy and possibly right breast, too, just to be safe. They will determine if I need chemo and if it's in the lymph nodes at the time of surgery. Please keep me and my family in your prayers and pray that it is NOT in lymph nodes! Thanks! I have to tell my kids (18 yrs and 15 yrs) after school today. :( Thankfully, they have Friday and Monday off school, so we are going to our lake house for long weekend.

Oh my, Kathleen, my prayers are with you, of course! Like all of us, I'm sure, I've had both friends and relatives (by marriage) with that diagnosis. You poor gal...you're so brave to be looking for positives.... =moment of silence in your honor=

Kathleen, I have been praying for you since you first mentioned the problem. You will get through this. One of my close friends just finished radiation; she has been strong and upbeat throughout it because she decided that she had to be; she believes that will help her.

Please take care of yourself and TRY to stay upbeat and take it one day at a time. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

Oh Kathleen :( that is very rough news and you must feel rocked badly...YES I will be praying for you and your family to get through this and with your faith and your wonderful kids and family you WILL!!!

Starting each post with positive thoughts to Kathleen for her cancer diagnosis and the BEST possible outcome! :hug:


__________________________________________________ _____________

Good morning to everyone, freeezing cold here, -17F. A little weak sun so that is always helpful. My 2 days off are over, back to work in a couple hours, it is SO hard not to go in with a terrible attitude. But just the smallest thing will set me off, because I'm just on a hairtrigger with things that irritate the crap out of me (overly chatty and inane young co-worker, jerk customers, a-hole boss)

whew, maybe that rant made me better :devil: Hope everyone has a good day.