good morning friends, if any of you have veterans in your household, I thank them for their service!

Mossy - ugh I am so sorry you are dealing with snow and ice already!!! on the news this morning I see that YUCKY white stuff in so many parts of the country, it just makes life difficult if not downright dangerous. Yay to you for your walking!! All movement is good. I hope you have a good day today and I love this guy --->

Kathleenoh I am so sorry you are feeling down on your journey but I am glad you are NOT GIVING IN! Let's hold onto the hope that the doctor's visit next week will give some progress. Here is more of that dust

Lisa - I am sorry you are so down!! of course Monster's passing is still affecting you. I have to say though that from your writing, you sound functional and actually 'on target' because of your focus on your education! that is amazing! I have such respect for anyone that furthers their knowledge and you sure picked a lucrative field...anything in Health Care or Information Technology is sure to be a valued field, and there you go being knowledgeable in both!

Fi - - ugh, sorry about the expensive refills!! but so glad you were able to get yourself out to take care of that. Best wishes with the ill MIL situation, those matters are so difficult aren't they. And hope the kitties are improving.

Amylynne Hi and how are you??

MrUki -Hi and how are you doing?

HI to all our others!! Amy, Worth, Fleur...you are not forgotten.

I am in a good mood because it's supposed to be WARM today!! almost 60. It should be close to 50 when I leave for work (10:30 am) so I will be riding my motorcycle to work probably for the last time this year.

I have to tell you all, that when we are so down, or apathetic, or whatever, HANG IN THERE because even the next day might be better!!that is what I am experiencing. I did have a nice moment yesterday when a young co-worker said that I reminded her of her aunt, because 'you smile when you talk'. And I realize that I do, I do like that about myself.

Ladies, I realized this morning that I have not been taking my Abilify. Perhaps that is why I am struggling? I took it with my other meds this morning. Man, I hope it helps pull me out of this depression. I feel awful. My anxiety is doing trying to rear is ugly head too so that is not good, it's just my depression is terrible right now. I think getting the Abilify in my system again will help though.


I am washing a couple of coats this morning, the cold is supposed to work it's way into Ohio later tonight. I needed them washed anyway. Having cats, I am always very careful of how my clothes smell.


Holly, I am really excited about school. I just hope I can handle 2 classes. I will do my very best. School starts Dec the 3rd.

Fi, I am so sorry you are struggling. *hug*


Kathleen, thank you for the hug. I can always use those right now, going through what I am right now.



I pretty much have the whole week off of Job #2. I have to go into work on Thursday and take some training. I didn't have to go to Job #1 this morning but I go back tomorrow. They called me late last night to say they did not need me this morning so I got to sleep in.


Thank you all for being here for me and letting me vent when I am sick. Much love to all.

Fiona, Lisa, may you feel better soon.

Holly.. Cupcake...send me your sunshine. We're sitting at zero degrees. Oh, brother....I can't wait for Spring.

I'm headed to the therapy pool with my mother. We'll kick our legs and bobble around. I'll march in place. It's pretty tiny in there with all of the lil ladies. They're sweet, except for one. She tries to hog up the whole pool. She thinks it belongs to her. Mom says, we'll just keep moving to accommodate her and I say..."Stay in your own lane". But she won't. She's the therapy pool bully. She tries to drive everyone nuts so they'll all leave and she can have it to herself.

I heard something on the radio that I like today. Just because someone is older doesn't guarantee respect from everyone else. It's what you do to others that grants you their respect. I agree.

The Pool Bully, I won't let her smack my mother around.

Hey Ladies! I posted in this forum last fall and really enjoyed it! I decided I needed to change up my user name because I am no longer connected to law at all and actually feel that my time in law school was a big cause for the extra weight that I've kept on. Instead I have gone with my life long passion and am on the way to getting my teaching credential. Now that everything else in my life is cheerful and enjoyable I must tackle the weight side of things. Especially when I just found out I'm a maid of honor in a year! Got work to do and love the motivation of this place so when I have time I'll be around!!!!

In response to y'all's queries about my kittens: I'm afraid they're not doing all that well. Their breathing is noisy, and they cough and sneeze a lot, and their ears are just about bald from the ringworm. (I have ringworm, too: itchy spots all over my arms.)

They love the steam treatments I'm giving them: all I have to do is say the word "steam" and they head for their crate and walk right in. I put the crate in our tiny master bathroom, set the shower nozzle to extra-fine spray, leave the door of the shower open, and fill it all up with steam. Don't worry: it doesn't get very warm, just very humid. Their breathing is noticeably improved after about 20 minutes of that.

Nothing slows them down, and nothing stops them from being mischievous and having a good time. Their favorite game is soccer, for which their favorite "balls" are crinkled-up backing paper from my sticker machine. (I have two sticker machines for my collage, because I like their glue.) They're still at the stage where absolutely everything is potentially a toy, so constant supervision is a must.

Here's a photo from this morning. I apologize for its being on Flickr. I hope you don't get an ad. If you do, just click it away.

Made2Teach: back to the group!!! What was your old username, if you don't mind telling me? Just want to remember you. I am glad that you are following your passion. You do sound very happy. Best of luck to you as you tackle the weight loss! YOU CAN DO IT!!! Congrats on being selected as someone's Maid of Honor!

Lisa: You must have posted while I was typing and posting last time. I missed your posts, even though they posted before mine. I hope that restarting your Abilify is helping with the depression. You are bound to still be sad about Monster, but maybe missing those doses of Abilify made it worse. Regardless, I hope you feel at least a bit better by the time you read this. Congrats on changing schools and degrees! I hope you will like the changes! Even if it is a change for the better, remember that any major life change adds stress to your life, so maybe that is contributing to your struggle as well. ??? Did you decide to let your nurse practitioner know that you are really struggling right now? It would probably be a good idea to do so if you haven't already. Maybe she could tweak your meds or add other support during this especially difficult time. I just want you to feel better as soon as possible!!!

Fi: So sorry to hear that you crashed and burned! I hope that getting your meds back on track will help to pull you back up to "normal." Thank you for the update on the kittens. It sure sounds like you are doing all you can for them. You are a very kind kitty mommy! Glad to hear that they are still enjoying playing and getting into mischief, despite their difficulty breathing. Hope their breathing and ringworm gets better soon! I like both your collage and the pic of the kittens! Thanks for sharing!

Holly: Thank you for your sympathy and prayers for my friend whose husband died. I can't quit thinking about her and how devastated she must feel. Trying not to make HER journey mine, but I just feel very sad about the whole thing. Oh well, life marches on, I guess..... On a brighter note, I hope your last motorcycle ride to work yesterday was AWESOME!!! Yay that it was warm enough to ride! Monday and Tuesday were pretty nice here in Ohio, but it is much colder today and I think we are expecting snow at the end of this week. I am SOOOOOO NOT ready!!! I am in denial that summer is over! Thank you for your constant stream of !!! I need all I can get!!!

Mossy: Hope you enjoyed the therapy pool with your mother yesterday! BOO about the pool bully!!! Those kind of people are irritating! Good for you for not letting her bully your mother!!! 0 degrees..... YIKES!!! Sending you some sunshine!!! Stay warm!!!

I feel slightly more motivated today to do something about my weight. I am really counting on this endocrinologist to help me next week! I hope I am not disappointed! I am realizing that, no matter what, I need to get CONSISTENT with my eating and exercise...... finally! Consistent doesn't mean perfect. I just want to eat well and control portions and exercise consistently MOST of the time. I need to make that the rule, rather than the exception. I cannot beat myself up when I make a mistake. That only snowballs and makes things worse. I will treat myself like I would/do my best friends and my children..... and give myself POSITIVE feedback and encouragement. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!

Y'all I am too hyped up to respond to everyone right now but this has been an amazing week. I got a 92 on that paper I was procrastinating on! I have tomorrow off and an interview for a position with a pay raise went really well! AAAAANNND.... My best friend moved to Colorado in May and I havent seen her since then. She is coming home in December, but a few friends worked with her and COMPLETELY SURPRISED ME AND SHOWED UP TODAY! I had plans to get coffee with a friend and it turned out that I was actually meeting my best friend!!!!!! I am still shaking six hours later. Incredible day. So unreal. I have been so sad lately and this makes things so much better, even for a little while.

Thanks for being so supportive yall!

friends,

I was feeling totally overwhelmed today. I have been trying to find another college to go to. Between that and feeling so overwhelmed with life stuff, late with car payments, etc, I am a mess. I have been taking my Clonazapam and Chlorpromaz to help out with my anxiety. I took my Abilify today with my Prozac, it helps the Prozac work better.

I feel a little bit better now that I have the Clonazapam and Chlorpromaz in my system. Please keep me in your prayers.

Mossy, it's great to have you here.

Made2Teach, Welcome back to the group.

AmmyLynne, Congrats on your paper!!!!

Fi, I am so sorry about your ringworm. *hug*

Just in case anyone had trouble with Stupid Flickr, I put the latest kitten pic on ipernity, a much nicer place. As usual, click on the pic for a larger version: you want to appreciate the mess the kittens have made of my formerly orderly shelf, in all its glory. =laugh=

Yesterday was a blessed 0/0/0 day, as predicted. Today is more difficult: the morning was fine, but I'm in +2 this afternoon—in other words, almost full-blown manic: super jittery, can barely string two thoughts together, muscle spasms, headache, heart beating too fast, feel like a Mexican jumping bean, etc. I hope I don't go any higher! Why can't I get on an even keel, darn it...I have work to do, that was due yesterday! But I'm taking the appropriate meds...maybe soon I'll succumb to sleep and all will be well on the other side...best wishes to all....

Lisa: I am so sorry that you are still having a really rough time. You can count on my prayers!!! Sending you strength and hugs!

AmyLynne: Way to go on that paper!!! And that is awesome that your friend surprised you with an unexpected visit! Happy to hear that your interview went really well and that life is looking UP for you at the moment! Enjoy your day off!!!

Fi: Oh no, not the mania again! Wishing you that triple zero place of NEUTRAL..... 0/0/0/!!! You will get there!

Madetoteach back! i'm also curious what your username was before, so it might 'click' in my head. Congrats on being much happier with the career change and look forward to hearing from you

Amylynne, whoa congrats on that great score! and the interview! and your friend's surprise visit, that was sooo kewl

Mossy, you are a hero for wanting to take care of the Pool Bully First I love that you take your Mom there, you are a good daughter! And our sunshine fizzled away but I will try to send you some and I'm so sorry you are freezing there!!

Fi, you are such a good kitty mommy

Lisa prayers and to you!! Sometimes your posts are SO inspiring to me, when you note that there are things that worry you but that you are thankful for what you do have..those words always help me. I hope you're feeling not so overwhelmed and that the meds might be helping by now. again and trying to send you some also.

Kathleen I am hoping so much also that the endocrine doc visit will be helpful! and sending you as much and I hope that your motivation increases I am so awful with eating right and less, but I have been exercising almost daily and that is one thing I feel good about, I also always try to remember your phrase "progress, not perfection"! How is your family? Oh and you and I are sisters in denial about summer being over

It was sooo great to ride my motorcycle to work yesterday!

Today I spent 2 1/2 hours in the dentist chair!! for the first visit for my 2 crowns. And put quite a bit of money on the credit card ( again ) and wrote a check for $500..and still owe about a thousand. sigh. I did apply for their "Care Credit" and instead of the quoted 14.99% interest rate, they sent me paperwork that stated 26.99%!!!! WHAT ... THE ... *%$#. I said to the financial lady at the dentist office, "the dentist will get paid but not by the loan sharks you are promoting' (I can, unfortunately, get really sarcastic and snarky when I feel cornered!) It turned out to be an error but heck, my Visa is 9.99% interest so I put most of it on that. And the financial lady did not apologize for the error and wanted ME to call them to figure it out, so that is why I was kinda mean to her

a local reporter let her news crew do a story on her, that she suffers from depression, and it was so good to hear her talk about it!! she described exactly what I feel, that randomly, she will feel overwhelmed by bleakness, and couldn't look forward to waking up the next day, even knowing she has so much going for her..and that if by 'coming out', if she helps anyone feel better and not alienated, she is glad of it.

It was prompted because a few months ago, a woman lawyer who was the news stations legal expert, and who was so attractive, and smart, and had a husband and small kids, committed suicide due to her depression which she hid completely and of course the news crew was devastated and shocked that they did not know that aspect of her at all. Her name was Cheryl Hanna and it is so sad that she felt there was no escape.

OK wanting to end this a little more upbeat, lots of and and for all of us!!!

I'm leaving a quick post here because I haven't been in the thread for a few days. I was unemployed for months (technically still am) but this week got two job offers and one interview offer for an all but dream internship and it's all left my head spinning

So until I work this out and finish a project I'll be presenting Monday night at college I won't be on to leave wonderfully detailed posts addressing everyone.

Until Tuesday!

I know it's crazy in the middle of working to damp down a manic swing (down to +1 this evening, and going to bed early) to be thinking about kitten photos, but I can't resist sharing this one that Bob took when we were at the farm a couple weeks ago: it's priceless. Be sure to click on the image for the larger view. =grin=

I slept well last night, and feel SO much better this morning. Even the kittens are acting like they feel better: when I took their crate out of the soggy bathroom after their morning steam treatment, it sounded like there were a couple of tiny motorcycles in there, that's how loud the purring was! Objectively, their breathing is just as congested, but I'm glad to see them in good spirits.

There's a disadvantage, though, about feisty kittens in a good mood: they are unbelievably mischievous, more so than our previous two pairs! Basically anything that is not nailed down becomes a cat toy. For example, we have a headset that's attached to our cordless phone by a thin black cable. Whenever we're talking on the phone, that bit of dangling cable is abso-LUTE-ly irresistible to the furballs: they bat it, they bite it, they snag it with their claws... and this is after months of our daily reinforcement of the "Don't mess with electrical cords or cables" rule! I think they're so smart they've figured out the difference (from our voice tone?) between cables/cords that pose no danger to them, and cables/cords that could shock them. =sigh=

And that, I'm afraid, is all I have time to write. I have a ton to do—like giving kitties their meds—before my Qigong appointment.