Ups & Downs Support Group: October 2014
 

:welcome3: to the Ups & Downs Support Group! Here is our October 2014 thread. Everyone is welcome to join the group, as long as you are willing to give and receive support in your weight loss journey. We named the group Ups & Downs to reflect the many ups and downs in our weight loss journeys, in our life with depression and (for some) on meds, and in life in general. If you are a regular, please post to let us know you found the new thread. If you are new to the group, please tell us a little (or a lot) about yourself. This is OUR forum, so post away!!! :grouphug:

Feeling miserable!
 

Hello Support Buddies! Sorry I was a bit late getting the October thread started. I have been feeling really miserable the past several days with a cold/flu. :( I did manage to walk on the treadmill Monday night and plan to walk again today, but I had to cancel both days with my trainer this week. Food is always more difficult when I am not feeling well because healthy stuff doesn't always sound good when I am sick. But I am doing the best I can. The Abilify taper is going great so far! If anything, I have a bit more energy, but it is difficult to tell since I am under the weather.

Trish (lilturtle): So happy to hear that you are feeling much better!!! :D I take a small dose of Klonopin (.25 mg) very rarely, for extreme anxiety, and it really helps to take the edge off. Glad it is helping you, too! Yes, anti-psychotic drugs that cause weight gain are awful, especially since sometimes you have no choice but to go on them for a period of time for mood stabilization. Then you are left ~ STUCK ~ with the weight gain afterward.

Fi: Sorry that you experienced bouts of mania after the Qigong the other day. Hope you get a chance to talk to the instructor about it. Love to hear that, otherwise, you have a string of 0s going!!! :)

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): It is so good to see a post from you!!! Sorry to hear that you are wiped out, but I am glad you took the time to say hello! Sometimes, that's all we can manage..... and that's okay! :) Sending you a BIG HUG! :hug:

Waving hello to everyone else! :wave: It's was pretty quiet around here in September. Let's aim to get the support flowing daily again in October! It really helps when each person checks in regularly, if only to say hello. So please post whenever possible. Remember that the group is called Ups & Downs, so you can feel free to post about both. You don't have to avoid the group when things are not going well. Post and let us know and we will give you some encouragement! :hug: It takes effort from all of us to keep the group active and productive! Group hug! :grouphug:

Hello friends,


I am tired again today but then again, I had another headache, not as bad today though. I also feel sometimes I like I am having hot flashes, like right now. yuck
Will have to mention that to my Dr.

Not sure about my weight, I might not have lost any. I just don't know. Will let you all know though, good or bad.

Here in a little while, I need to go check on someone and make sure they got moved, a client from my work.

I hope you all are well.
Lots of love.

hello! thank you for the new monthly thread Kathleen you are our rock! :D But I'm so sorry to hear you are miserable with cold/flu thing :( it's amazing that 'the common cold' can make us feel like a truck hit us! I HOPE it runs it's course quickly and you feel better SOON.

Hi Lisa sorry about your headache, and ugh to hot flashes! always good to hear from you, you are so sweet.

HI to everyone else!

today is my one day to cook breakfast at work, so I really should be getting ready. Takes me longer to get ready when I am going to ride the m'cycle, as I have to put on layers and try to remember to pack whatever I need. It is cold and dark and kinda foggy out there but it will be nice on the way home :scooter:

I worked out 2 days in the past four, that's better than my whole summer :rolleyes and I am doing almost very well with eating :D

VermonMom *hugs* How are you sweetie? Getting in some ride time I hope.

Kathleen, Dear, I hope you are feeling better when you read this. Thank you for the thread. I am so sorry you are ill. I have been so lucky this year with getting sick. I haven't had any major illnesses yet. Give me time though.

Not much going on here, just work and looking for a second job. My "other second job" is not bringing in any income at all, none so I am looking for another one.

Much love to all.

Hello!
 

Feeling a little better today. I am hoping that yesterday was the worst of it and I am on the mend! :^: Thank you Holly and Lisa for the well wishes! :hug: I walked all 3 dogs (2 of them and then the puppy alone) yesterday, so I was able to get out and enjoy the day a bit despite feeling LOUSY. I plan to get out with them again today!

Holly: HOORAY for you for working out 2 of the past 4 days!!! :carrot: Hmmmmm......... did that perhaps coincide with coming back to the group and POSTING?!?!?! :p :lol: I think you need to STAY right here where you belong!!! :D I am just teasing you a bit, but I do really think it helps to keep us somewhat accountable when we want to give the group a good report. At least it does for me. Having said that, it is also a good place to come when we are struggling and need encouragement! (Hint! Hint!) ;)

Lisa: Thank you for checking in each day lately! It makes me smile when I come to the group and see new posts! :) Then I know I am not alone in this journey toward health and wellness, with all of its Ups & Downs. I hope you will find a new 2nd job soon that brings in the income you need! I will keep that intention in my prayers for you! :hug: Were you able to get some help for your headaches and migraines? I know you were planning on it.

Hope all is well with everyone in the group! Sending out some sunshine :sunny: and well wishes to all of you! Please check in when you can and let us know how things are with you! :)

Lisa -yes I have gotten alot of ride time :scooter: in this summer! Maybe some places were not happy with lower amounts of rain, but I was :D Hope your day was good and best wishes on securing another second job, one that brings you some moola!

Kathleen I will take your good-natured ribbing :D and it is DEFINITELY helpful to me to 'be' here! It's when I know I haven't been doing well that I stray because I am ashamed of myself.

but as someone who does have friendly encounters with acquaintences daily, I really don't have 'friends' that I hang out with, after work or in the evening, so it is SO nice to feel that there are people out there who really care about me and I feel that here!! :hug:

My ride to work this morning started out dark and foggy! Someone came up behind me (car) I could tell they wanted to go faster than i was going; they carefully passed me, then I piggybacked them so they were my guide through the fog :D At work I made some rather nice desserts, then did prep work (boring veggie prep but it's gotta be done) and then had a beautiful, warm, sunshiny :sunny: ride home.

:wave: Hi everyone! I am preparing for my knee surgery. I had bloodwork and an ekg done today. I go for a physical tomorrow. I am kind of sad. The pln was for me to go to my brother's to do the first part of my rehab but my sister in law just broke her leg and I feel like I would be too much of a burden. So I am going to go to a rehab. It makes me sad because no one will visit me. My brother lives two hours away. I have family here in Harrisburg but they are too busy to have anything to do with me. Oh well, such is life.

lil'turtle we will 'visit' you from here every day! but I'm sorry you won't have physical visitors. Hope you have a good day today :)

Hi :wave: everyone ! One more nice day, then rain tomorrow. So I'll layer up and ride to work soon :scooter:

Hope everyone has a great day :sunny:

Trish: I am sorry that your plan to rehab at your brother's house won't work out now. Will you get PT and other help at the rehab center, though? That could be very beneficial for your recovery. I hope all goes well with the physical. Keep us posted on the date of surgery, so that we can send prayers and well wishes your way. :hug: I hate to hear that you won't have any visitors at the rehab center. :( But, as Holly said, we can "visit" you every day from the group! We care about you! Sending BIG HUGS your way!!! :hug: :grouphug:

Well, as of tonight I can announce that I've had three 0/0/0 days in a row: no depression pain, no jittery mania. It may seem like a small accomplishment, but I feel like I'm sailing the ship of my fragile psyche through waters with hidden rocks all around me, so just making it through safely is something to feel good about.

Oh! and I made a collage today. I haven't uploaded it to Ipernity yet (that's the site with no annoying ads), but when I do, tomorrow, I'll give y'all the link.

My Qigong instructor was very helpful when I told him about my recent experiences of +1 and +2 states. I was in +1 when I came for my app't, actually, and pretty miserable about it: he sat down in front of me and showed me some very simple things to do to bring myself down, doing the movements himself so I could learn by copying him. In a matter of minutes I was firmly in zero, with a smile on my face.

That's all I have the energy to say. I just wanted to report in. Weight loss is the last thing on my mind these days.

As promised, I'm back with the link to my new collage, titled "falling yes I am falling". Enjoy the Beatles song, too! =smile=

Fi
 

Fi: Happy to hear about your three 0/0/0 days in a row!!! Hope today chalked up a fourth 0 day! It sounds like the Qigong instructor was helpful in controlling the manic states. I so hope your good or at least better days continue. :hug: I really like your collage. So happy the branch was there to catch the FALLing cat! :D

I walked on the treadmill twice this past week, despite having a bad cold that left me feeling miserable most days. I will not beat myself up about not working out with my trainer last week. I was just too sick. :( I am supposed to go this Tuesday and I think I will feel good enough to do it. Still have the cold in my chest, but I am feeling more energy with each passing day. The Abilify taper continues to go well, thank God! That is such a huge relief to me. If anything, I feel better and more alert. It has been difficult to judge with the cold, but I hope things only get better as my cold goes away. My food was not great today, but I hope to get back to healthier eating as I feel better, too. My main focus needs to be PORTION CONTROL with whatever I am eating!

Where is everyone else?!? It is pretty quiet around here....... :?:

Any newbies who are lurking, please post so that we can exchange support along this difficult journey of Ups & Downs! :)

Hope all is well with everyone! Here's to a wonderful week ahead! :wave:

I'm here, ladies.


How is everyone? I had quite a busy day working and volunteering. The day just flew by. Tomorrow I will do it all over again. I hope I have some clean clothes in the back room. I had better go check.

It is pretty quiet in here.

Fall is definitely here in Ohio. It is downright chilly outside. I turned my furnace on just to warm the house.

Like I said before, I have no idea what my weight is. I don't own a scale. I am just happy with the person I am but know that I do need to trim down somehow.

I hope this post finds you all well.

Hey everyone, I saw the nudge for lurking newbies to post so I decided to jump in.

My name is AmyLynne and I am a recent college grad living in Bowling Green, KY. I'm going to grad school for social work and I work in the mental health field as well. I have depression and I think that's why I want to be a social worker so much. "Wounded healers", as my professor calls us...

Anyway, I am also trying to lose weight and I really struggle with it. At my heaviest I was 282 and I am close to that now (I don't own a scale right now because my last one broke. But after work today I'm going to get one!) I lost about 30 pounds but have put most of it back on in the course of two years. I know I can lose the weight if I put my mind to it... but I am an emotional eater, a bored eater, a driving eater, I just eat all the time. So I really need to figure that out because I think that's the big key to me losing weight.

I'm glad to be here and looking forward to getting (and giving) support. It all feels like a vicious cycle... I don't lose weight, so I eat to console myself, which makes me more depressed, which makes me eat more...

Thanks yall. Looking forward to getting to know you all.

Welcome!!!
 

AmyLynne: :welcome: to the group! I am so happy that you decided to post!!! :D CONGRATS on your college graduation and GOOD LUCK with grad school! I hope you will continue to post and receive support from this wonderful group of women. It really is a supportive group, but it has unfortunately been quiet lately. That's okay, though, because I will be here to support you in your weight loss journey. I, too, battle cravings and obsessive thoughts about food. I have reigned in my eating much of the time, but then I blow it and fall off the wagon. I think some of it is self-sabotage, which doesn't make sense to me, but I know that it is happening. I tend to overthink things, but if I don't, my eating gets out of control. We can work on this together! WE CAN DO IT!!! We deserve to be healthy and happy!!! Best of luck to you! :hug:

Lisa
 

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): It is so good to hear from you! Hope you found some clean clothes for work tomorrow! ;) Yes, fall has definitely arrived here in Ohio. I miss summer already!!! I think I have a bit of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) this year, but I am doing my best to battle it and find things to look forward to. That is so great that you are happy with the person you are NOW. I think that is so necessary to arrive to that place BEFORE we can lose the weight. I am just about there, but need to also ACCEPT myself (big ol' body and all) where I am now before I can get this done. THAT is a huge challenge for me! But I am UP for that challenge!!! I can do it! WE can do it! :carrot: Take good care and keep checkin' in! :)

Hi AmyLynne and :welcome: !! :) I hope you find this place as friendly as I have.

HI Kathleen, Fi, and Lisa :wave: and all others.

Hello everyone, Im new and when I saw this forum and when I started reading it, I immediately felt at home.

I have suffered from depression since the age of 8, I am now 47. The issue of an eating disorder has alway been apart of my life, eating and not eating, in the past 15 years it has bee eating way too much. Eating comforts me, but the effects of weight gain discomforts me.

My weight has been as high as 225, 198 is where I balance but since March and living in Paris for 4 moths I have gotten my weight down to 176. I weigh in Thursday with my nutritionist and will let you know if I have gained or lost.

So, I will share this with you. Some mornings I awake feeling very sad for myself, feeling ugly, uncomfortable in my skin and guilty my fiancé has to put up with my depression and eating issues. I fight the feeling of depression daily, in addition to an anxiety disorder as well. Im always worried about nothing, and alway panicked about nothing. Does that make sense? Depression runs in my family sometimes I wonder if it is a bad habit passed down from from generation to another or if we inherit a bad gene.

I hope as time goes by I get to know each and every one of you.

Thank you Kathleen for this thread. My day is looking brighter after spilling this all out.

Welcome!!!
 

postscriptlove: :welcome: to the group! Thank you for having the courage to share about yourself and your struggles. I can very much relate to all you said, except NOT eating has NEVER been a problem for me. Depression runs in my family, too. Also, I have fairly recently realized that I tend to always be "on guard" and worried about something. Most of the time, it is not necessary and worrying won't help the situation anyway. I am working hard to RELAX and STAY CALM ~ even in the midst of busyness and stress ~ and go with the flow and let go of unnecessary anxiety. I am on an anti-anxiety med, Buspar, daily and an anti-depressant, Effexor XR, too. Currently weaning OFF of a mood stabilizer, thank God! (I am on a few other meds, too, for other conditions.) I have battled weight problems for much of my adult life, ever since my childbearing years, which was an extremely stressful time for me. Recently, I reached my all-time high of 222. :o YIKES!!! I am currently hovering around 220. CONGRATS on getting your weight down to 176!!! That is no small feat! You are definitely on your way and headed in the right direction! :) Best of luck to you in your weight loss journey! Again, thanks for posting! :hug:

Hi Holly!!! Thanks for checking in! :)

Hi, Kathleen. I am pretty comfortable in my own skin. I am so grateful for my body and my health. Perhaps if I did lose weight, I would make other realizations that perhaps I didn't like my body as much as I though, I really don't know? It isn't perfect, I know that and that is ok. I am still sexy.

Welcome postscript love. *waves*

Welcome AmyLynne. *waves*

Hello to all out wonderful ladies. *waves*


I am so sleepy right now but it's too late to take a nap so I will just stay up until it is time for bed.

Much love to all.

Always nervous to tread on new territory, but here goes. I'm trying to lose weight for the first time. I struggle with numerous mental health issues including depression. Just went through a bit of a rough patch but things are going ok right now. Hopefully I can be of some encouragement to some here.

-Kay

Hello LadyKay and Welcome to the thread. It's great to have you here. I'm sure you'll be a great addition to the thread.

Where is everyone?


I had a last minute job interview today. I will find out in a week or so if I got the job or not.

I will check back in soon.

Have a great night everyone.

I apologize for not participating much of late, especially with regard to personals, but my life has been pretty hectic. The kittens still have the upper respiratory infection (congested & sneezy) they had when we first got them. But there's hope: it looks like (crossing fingers & toes) their bug is sensitive to the antibiotic we've got them on now.

Meanwhile, I've been suffering pain and impaired function in both knees as a result of the deep squats I was doing for one of my Qigong exercises. I'm doing a modified version of it now that's no longer damaging my knees, but some rehab with leg exercises and gentle walking excursions is in order.

Bob and I plan to leave on Monday to go enjoy the fall colors at his mom's (our) farm in Pennsylvania, so I'll be off the Net from roughly the 13th 'til the 26th. Lots to do to get ready!

But I'm having a long run of 0/0/0 days (no depression, no mania), so I'm a happy camper.

Welcome LadyKay!!!
 

LadyKay: :welcome: to the group!!! I am so happy that you posted. Glad to hear that, despite your rough patch, things are okay now. We will do our best to encourage you on your weight loss journey!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :cheer2:

Lisa
 

Lisa: Hoping and praying that you get the job you interviewed for!!! Keep us posted! :)

Fi
 

Fi: I know you have your hands full with your adorable kittens. Sorry they are still sick. :( Hope they get better soon! SO incredibly happy to hear about your string of 0/0/0 days!!! :D

I haven't been keeping up on personals either, like I should.


I might also be getting my old job back as a Home Health Aide. My lady is getting out of the rest home and moving back to her home, so I will be taking care of her a couple days a week.


Fi, so sorry about your kittens being so sick. :(


Kathleen, you are the backbone of this thread. :)

Much love to all.

I am having knee replacement surgery tomorrow. This past week has been a nightmare. I have been on vicodin which has kept me in a mixed episode all week. Also my mom talked my brother out of letting me go to his house after surgery so now I may go to a rehab, a skilled nursing facility, or even straight home where I have no one to help me. I won't know until I am close to being discharged. My mom is just dropping me off at the hospital tomorrow. She is not staying, so no one will be there when I get out of surgery. I am an emotional wreck. I really hope this is worth it.

lilturtle, try to calm down. It will all be worth it when your knees are healed. Take lots of deep breaths, calming breaths. Breath in calm, breath out the anxiety.

It will all be ok.

Trish
 

Trish: I just saw your post and I am praying for you right this moment. I hope and pray that all goes/went well with your knee surgery and that you will be able to go to a rehab facility where you will get the care that you need and deserve. My heart breaks for you that you don't have anyone to take care of you. :cry: I wish this whole group could be with you at that hospital and pitch in to take care of you at home. :grouphug: Please, if you are able, check in each day and we will be here caring about you, cheering you on :cheer2: and wanting the BEST for you! :hug: And, I personally will be keeping you in my prayers! All will be well! I promise! :)

Lisa
 

Lisa: Thank you so much for being here for lilturtle (Trish)!!! :D

Kathleen, I know what anxiety is like and it is absolutely terrible. I know about deep breathing and when overcome it can help and keep you from freaking out. I feel so bad for Trish. I will keep her in my thoughts.

I have some good news. I go back to work at my second job on Sunday, they called me today with my schedule for next week. I REALLY need the money, I've been struggling so much financially. I washed up all my scrubs yesterday just incase I got the call. I officially have 2 incomes now. yay!!!!!!

lilturtle I'm very sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing with your surgery. My mother would be equally unsupportive. I hope that the hospital provides you with the best care before during after surgery and through recovery.

Lisa, congrats on the job!

I have been really sick lately. Haven't been feeling 100% for a few weeks now. Yesterday I woke up at 2am and couldn't breathe, managed to cough my way to breathing but struggled for a while. It stopped then I started having trouble breathing again about 4am, so took my Dad's car keys and drove myself to the hospital. I have pneumonia and I guess it's bad enough that under good conditions I'd be admitted into the hospital, but mild enough that since beds are limited they sent me home instead with meds and a very firm "if you stop breathing again come back to the hospital" which is incredibly reassuring (not). So I may be a bit more absent than I intended to be. But I'll try to check in when I can.

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!

Hi postscriptlove! We can be new together!

You too, LadyKay! We all 3 will be new together. I'm so sorry to hear you have pneumonia!! My sister has had it in the past and it's scary. I hope you don't stop breathing again. Sending you warm hugs and some oxygen :D:hug:

Lisa - I am so glad to hear about your second job!!! That will be so wonderful!

Fiona - I am so jealous of visiting the fall leaves in PA. I love fall. The leaves are so pretty. Growing up in CA, I never really saw fall leaves changing!

lilturtle - I hope your knee surgery went well. I'm so sorry that it feels like no one is supporting you. Having your knees all healed will certainly be a good feeling - and we are all rooting for you. :hug:



I just found out that I get to go home for Christmas (one of my coworkers told me he'd cover a couple of my shifts) which I'm really excited about because holidays are the only time I ever get to see my family. I also lost 4.8 pounds this week, which has been really encouraging. I am thankful for 3FC support!

Hope you all have a great weekend! I normally log onto 3FC during lulls at work (sometimes work is completely dead and other times I can barely think straight, we are so busy!) and I don't work this weekend so I may not log back on until Monday.

:dizzy:

amy, it is so good to see you, sweetie. So very happy for you that you have lost some weight, wonderful news. Going home for the holidays reminds me of my daughter, she'll hopefully be home for the holidays too. She has a job at college, she is a server at a restaurant. I just hope they let her come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.


LadyKay, I am so sorry you are ill. How terrible for you, that would scare me too if I couldn't breath. Please take their advice, if you can't breath go to the hospital.

Kathleen, I feel so bad for Trish. I would have support from my family if I were in her place and I feel bad that she does not. I hope she is alright!!!!!!


Much love ladies and be well.

Love the activity here!!!
 

It is so great to log on and see lots of support flowing here!!! :D I have been doing much better with healthier eating and exercise. The Abilify taper is going so well, which I am very thankful for. It has given me some hope again that I will be able to lose weight; that and my upcoming appointment with the endocrinologist. Can't wait until I get my thyroid functioning at an optimal level. I have high hopes for some serious weight loss then. I am just working now on getting healthy habits consistently in place so that, once all my weight loss resistance problems are addressed, I will be on my way!!! :carrot:

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): CONGRATS on getting your 2nd job back!!! :carrot: So good that you are all prepared already with fresh clean scrubs! I hope this will help to ease your financial burdens a bit. It has been great to see you here often lately! Your support to everyone means a lot to me, too! :hug: I am also so worried about Trish! :( I HATE that she doesn't have the support of family and friends, like she deserves! I wish we could all transport ourselves there and take good care of her. We are there in spirit, though, that's for sure! :grouphug:

LadyKay: So very sorry to hear that you have pneumonia! :( That must have been so scary when you couldn't breathe!!! I am glad you went to the hospital. I hope it clears up as soon as possible! I will keep you in my prayers. :hug:

AmyLynne: I am very happy for you that you will be able to go home for Christmas!!! Very kind of your coworker to cover your shifts! CONGRATS on losing 4.8 pounds!!!!! :carrot: That IS so encouraging!!! Have a great weekend! :)

Waving hello to everyone else!!! Hope all is well! Have a fantastic weekend everyone!!! :wave:

Trish?????
 

Trish (lilturtle): I just wanted to check to see if you are able to get online and see our words of support and encouragement. I sure hope so! How did the surgery go??? Thinking about you LOTS and keeping you in my prayers!!! Hang in there!!! :hug: :hug: :hug:

I've been having a good weekend, continuing, with just one dip into -1, having 0/0/0 days. I've been running errands related to our trip to Pennsylvania—such as picking up my Kasimir Malevich print from the framer's, where I had it foam-mounted, and buying a big wooden easel to use for the large collage backgrounds I intend to create in my new auxiliary studio at the farm.

Friday night my 14-yr-old great-niece Grace, who's a freshman in high school, came over. It was the first time in some weeks, because we had to wait until the kittens were officially clear of the ringworm fungus, and until we had vacuumed and mopped the house very thoroughly to get rid of any remaining cat hairs that might have fungus spores. I picked up Grace around 3:30 PM from school, and she stayed until late, about 10:30 to 11. Grace was eager to spend time petting and playing with the kittens, since she wants to be a vet when she grows up, and she only has a dog in her house. So we devoted a few hours to kitten time, but Grace also sat at the table in my collage studio and did some of her math and Latin homework. After that, she helped me out for a couple of hours with sorting my clippings into their appropriate boxes, which range from categories like "animals" and "text" to colors like "black/grey" and "orange." Friday will be her regular night for coming over once a week. But we will have to miss two weeks while Bob & I are at the farm, so her next Friday won't be until the 31st, Hallowe'en night. If her parents give the OK for her coming to my place on Hallowe'en, we have some special plans for that holiday (my favorite). =grin=

Today Bob needs to take care of some financial stuff (bills and deferred tax forms), and I'll be busy packing up my art supplies for the farm (including paint!) and other stuff I'll need for the trip. If all goes well, we should pack our old Toyota Land Cruiser on Monday—we need its ample space for my supplies, such as a mat and a chair I purchased for my studio—and then head for the farm, the kittens traveling in their snug little crate.

I'm still doing my Qigong exercises multiple times a day, plus my nightly leg lifts, which are especially important now for helping with my mildly injured knees. My eating is OK, but somewhat off plan, but starting today, or Monday at the latest, I plan to go fully back on my low-carb weight-loss diet, and stay on plan while we're up at the farm.

As I mentioned before, I'll be off the Net starting tomorrow until the 26th. I hope all of y'all are doing well: I'll get back to doing personals after we get back from the farm. Take care! =smile=