Hi All,

I'm finally starting to take time and care about myself after a rough few years. I'm only 26 but my only living family member is my grandma, who just turned 91. I lost my mother (her daughter) to cancer last year. I lost my Aunt (also Grandma's daughter) to cancer in 2005. My father passed away when I was 11 and I don't have any cousins or other aunts or uncles. So I am my grandma's sole caregiver.

I gained over 50lbs in the last 3 years from being so stressed out. Now I am on the road back to a healthy weight but it isn't easy. I see a therapist twice per week to help me sort out my feelings. You know if you've lost someone, especially your mother, that you experience all sorts of emotions.

Are any of you caregivers? And especially young caregivers in my situation? Would love to hear from you.

I am not a caregiver but I have lost my mother and father. I was very young when my father passed away. I was married with children when my mom passed but as you know there is nothing like losing your mother no matter how old you are. Your grandma is so lucky to have you to care for her. I am sure you love her but it is a big load for you to carry. Try and do it with love and for your mother and aunt who would be doing it. Keep seeing the therapist and do as good as you can and don't try to be perfect. Good luck and please take care of yourself.

Hi Bargoo,

Thanks for reaching out. And may I ask, how did you lose so much weight?! Congrats.

I'm a caregiver but not young . I do know when my Mother pased away in 2004 I could NOT eat then I could NOT STOP eating. I still miss her to this day but I have my eating under BETTER control.
If you can get into a caregiver support group that would be great for you

I am a caregiver for a very lovely lady and we get along great. She has given me her house to live in and her friendship as well.
I have no family and a very lonely person, no one to depend on and no one to take care of me when I'm down and need help. I am 57 and would love to have a mommy, seems strange at my age but sometimes life is so hard I would like to get a mommy hug.

Choose a caregiver from licensed caregiving service agencies only. In that way you can be sure that the person that you will be intrusting your grandma's care will be a good one.

I've been a caregiver since I was 25 for my Dad, my aunt, my grandpa and my grandma. My grandma is the only one remaining so I understand the feeling of everything is on your shoulders. The best words that have been spoken to me "First you must take care of your self before you can take care of others." Extremely hard for caregivers to do because if we aren't 100% focused on the people we care for we feel guilty but if we don't take time for ourselves we get resentful. So, be sure you take time for YOU!

I completely agree about taking time for yourself. I actually wrote a post on it on my blog. The link is in my signature if you want to comment there too. What do you do for YOU to not get burnt out?

My favorite is spending $10 at a thrift store. It doesn't break the bank but gives me that shopping rush!

I'm a care giver for my 5 yr old daughter. It is very stressful and I have found my life is unmanagable at times, but I always remember everything changes, things will not always be this hard. Just take one hurdle at a time. Finding time to look after yourself is a challenge. I'm trying to look after my own needs after years of neglecting them. Next week I'm seeing a dentist. Next month, it'll be a health check up.

I lost my father in law in 2008, daddy in 2010 and mother in law in 2011. By the time these three were gone I was the biggest I had ever been. All those days and nights in the hospitals, nursing homes or just on the road caught up with me. It wasn't until my last OB GYN appointment when the doctor asked me why I was this large did I get it. I was killing myself. Food was my comfort when the world was crazy. It clicked these people were not coming back to me and I have to live. I was so upset when I left the drs office that I had to pull over and cry for a while. The people I lost were so very important to me and they would be so upset with me that I was not taking care of myself. So, one step at a time I took my life back. Not for them but for me. I was 38 and headed towards a heart attack. 6 months and 71.6 pounds later I found the happy me I lost. Its not selfish to take time for yourself and that was the hardest thing to realize. I am not where I want to be but as the weight has slowly come off the more I feel happy about what lies ahead of me. Best of luck to you, there is hope.

It's one year today since my mother died. She had been moaning, not eating, and out of it for 4 days. I played soothing music non stop. I stroked her hands and told her it was OK for her to join daddy and her siblings and her dad in heaven. I told her I would be fine, she had taught and loved me well. I dabbed her favorite vanilla and jasmine oil under neath her nose. I brushed her hair.

That night she was moaning terribly. I had to put headphones on to sleep. But I swear I heard her gasp in the middle of the night. In the morning, she was gone.

In this year sinceso she passedwas I have traveled to 6 countries, am one semester away from being the first in my family to graduate college, and ran my first 10k race. It feels good to let go of the guilt and some of the sadness by taking care of me. I'm only 26 and can't wait for my life to finally "start". But thinking of spending the next 60+ years without my mom is still devastating.

Thank you for sharing your caregiving stories also. Hopefully we can keep this thread going!