In the past four months I've lost almost 50lbs and didn't binge once...up until yesterday and today...it's been awful. It's a long, depressing story, but my brother has been in the hospital and is going to pass away soon from cirrhosis of the liver due to alcoholism. **Warning: I'm going to vent a bit and it's going to get graphic. Dying from your liver shutting down is very painful. He's only 42 years old. He's gained close to 100 lbs in water weight. They're giving him strong laxatives to try to rid his body of toxins; he is unable to urinate. The toxins that are suppose to be filtered through his organs and going throughout his body, causing swelling, pain and internal bleeding. Ammonia has gone throughout his body and he is unable to think clearly/doesn't know what's going on. Family is unable to be there since we're on the other side of the country and don't have the money to go there. The nurse told my mother that all he does is call out for her all day, but he can't actually have a conversation. I do NOT think she should have been told that. My mother has understandably been crying a lot. She got a nurse to put the phone to his ear even though she was told it would be pointless. He started yelling, repeatedly, "Mom. Help me. It hurts." Then the phone was taken away. The doctor had her do some sort of a...over the phone consent for a DNR order. I have no idea how he's still alive and the hospital staff seem surprised he has made it this long as well. So to sum it up, I'm 24, I'm trying to comfort my elderly mother dealing with losing her 42 year old son, I'm losing my brother... All the while trying to shut up my father who says the wrong things constantly. He abused her first born, who ran away because of it and died. This is her second son, who will die anytime now, due to drinking his entire life because of my father's abuse. And now he's trying to tell my mother it's all her fault for not praying enough. I'm just trying to keep myself mentally and physically healthy but I'm having a hard time. And no, there aren't any therapists in the city that I can see. Been there, tried that, and the only therapists available for people without insurance are for rape victims.

If anyone took the time to read all this, thank you.

Sending you all my prayers...Please know that someone is praying for you and your entire family right now.

Oh no, Kaliii, I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this! I wish there was something I could do or say that would help. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I hope you and your family are able to find some measure of peace during this time.

I will pray for u.

I'm so very sorry for everything you're going through

In the scripture, it says that it is god's will to heal:

1 John 5:14-15

"And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

Thanks everyone, it means a lot. I have a question...

I haven't spoken to him in almost ten years...I don't think he knows why. He was a wonderful brother, one of the only people in my family to be kind to me. I refused to talk to him anymore because he was always drunk and saying horrible things to me. I know he doesn't know he did it, probably didn't even know who he was talking to, and I forgive him entirely. I wish I would've tried talking to him but I just couldn't risk hearing anything mean back then, considering all the abuse I had from the rest of my family. I'd love to say something to him before he passes...but I don't know what...

Sending supportive thoughts, Kaliii, as you and your family face such a difficult situation.

If you can find the physical link to say something to your brother - like a recorded message on his cell phone - you could remind him of the nice things he did for you when you were young. He might find solace in your voice and in being reminded of his good self.

I wish you well to find your way through this.

So sorry to hear about this Kaliii, I'm thinking of you today!

I'm so sorry Kaliii, sending thoughts your way.

Kaliii, I'm so sorry to hear that. My BF's mother just died of liver failure in July, so I know how hard it is to deal with that.

If there is any way you can try and talk to him over the phone, just tell him everything you want to say, even if nurses say he can't hold a conversation - actually that's what the nurses said about my BF's mother but she DID and COULD hold one. Albeit she was in and out and it was like a fog covering her, but she DID understand and she DID hear them.

I'm so sorry Kaliii, I'm sending you prayers and peace.

What a tragic situation for you, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Know that you have a lot of people on your side praying for you and sending you good thoughts.

I'm so sorry. Your family is in my thoughts.

Thoughts and prayers of comfort and strength to your brother, you, and your family during this difficult time.

Kaliii, I'm sorry you are going through this. My father in law died of liver failure a year ago last month. It was horrible at the end so I can kind of understand. I am thinking of you and praying for you. I wish you all the peace and comfort in the world.