I am really struggling with my depression lately. I have chronic depression and anxiety but I think being sooo overweight makes it worse. I just hate everything about me. I started my weight loss journey today and hoping to get healthier both physically and mentally. It already helps being able to come here and vent.

I have no advice to offer, but still wanted to send a

Thanks

Good luck. It's so great that you're taking this journey towards a better and healthier you. Even if you fail some days, the fact that you're aspiring to be better is going to manifest itself in your life somehow and good things will come. Best of luck. Depression is a ***** and setting yourself goals like this is your best ticket out.

Lilly, here's another hug to add.

You said in your first post that you hate everything about yourself. If you think really, really hard, isn't there even one single thing you like? Maybe "everything" is a slight exaggeration. I bet there is at the very least ONE THING about you that is wonderful and lovable and perfectly fine.

If you can put your mind to it, and find even that one thing...maybe you read fast or maybe you wash your feet every day or maybe you can blow bigger bubbles than anyone you know. (okay, those are pretty silly examples,
but nobody could be as supremely awful as you say you are) then focus on just that thing, you can help at least to keep yourself motivated. You might need to say over and over how wonderful you are because you wash your feet every day. It doesn't matter what thing it is. It negates the "all or nothing" part that contributes to the depression and the anxiety. It will help you stay grounded. It will give you something to focus on besides the parts you don't like. Then do the best you can to work on one thing at a time. Quit drinking sodas or start eating spinach or anything that is a small step in the direction you want to go. Set yourself up to be successful on a small scale.

Like begets like. Once you do a small goal and reach it, then you can set another small goal and reach that too. All the while reminding yourself about the one good thing, plus the first goal you accomplished. So now you have two things to like. Repeat as necessary.

It sure sounds simple, and I'm not being flippant. I have horrid anxiety issues myself and often I have to take it down the the very simplest thing and start from there. It isn't ever a straight line; there are ups and downs. I do what I can to moderate the difference between them and stay closer to the middle.

Don't set impossible goals that set you up to fail. A step at a time is achievable. 5X10 is still 50, but it looks a LOT easier to get to when you think of it that way.

If you simply cannot think of even one thing...it looks like you are 5'7" tall. I'm not tall. I'm 5' 4" and jealous of the extra 3" you have. So there is something to like about yourself for starters.

Barb

Aw. (((Hugs!))) I totally understand.

Consider adding exercise to your weight loss journey- not for weight loss, but for the endorphin boost that can help with your depression. Also you might consider adaptogens - foods and supplements that can assist you with stress and depression. When Dr. Weil was on the Dr. Oz show, he did a good job of explaining adaptogens and what each one does and how to use them. There's clips available online.

I applaud you for taking control- that alone will help your mood. Now you are in charge! Good luck.

Lillypad--I just started today too, and honestly, I am hating myself right now as well. It is just overwhelming, and I just have to keep telling myself, the begining of something is almost always the hardest. so hang in there!!

Exercise, exercise, exercise. The endorphin boost is great for combating low mood, and you help along your weight loss and muscle tone at the same time. Exercises that are particularly good for getting "highs" are Zumba and running!

Oh, I've been there.
One thing that helps me is remembering never to believe anything my brain tells me when I'm depressed.
Or, as the Bloggess puts it - Depression Lies.
http://thebloggess.com/2012/04/depression-lies/

Thanks Barb, I guess your right, there are qualities that I do like, so I need to focus on those and remember that I am working on the rest!!!
MiMi81- good luck to us both, the day is almost over and I am still alive
I will work on my exercise, I know it will do good things for me

You're not alone. Hang in there. I'm glad that you're taking steps to make changes in your life. Some days are easier than others. It helps to have a plan that you can stick to on the days when you just feel unfocused.

I feel pretty much the same to be honest! I have my ups and downs...recently I gained back 10lbs and I have no self confidence.

Agreed ! It's the only thing that helps me get through the day sometimes...

Alita, I think it takes time for us big girls, even after you lose the weight, to have self confidence. At least for me, even when I lost weight I still had the big girl mentality. All this to me is much more than losing the weight , I have a lot of mental issues that go along with this journey. For instance my mother told me the other day "I bought these pants and they are HUGE on me, so I thought you could have them" hahahaha She really doesn't hear what she says to me. Good luck to us all!!

I suffered from major depression in my late teens/early 20's. Poor diet combined with zero exercise were my worst enemies. I didn't realize for years what was the real cause of my problems. You're recognizing what you need to do to feel better, and that's the biggest part.

It sounds like you're feeling better already Lilly...I'm glad to see your posts are more upbeat and that you're more positive It's a hard journey but we're all in it together!

i think as the weight comes off, your heart will get "less heavy".

proportionally, i started at the same size as you. i was 5'8, 269 and my final "trigger" moment, was i felt, FAT. Obese, and Unhealthy.

I seriously considered leaving school for a year or so, in order to lose weight and work on myself, I just hit that point, of complete and utter unhappiness with myself. The was my breaking point, and i have had a successful journey thereafter.

Maybe you are just at the tipping point ? Maybe with every single OZ you lose, your heart will get less heavy!