I have struggled with depression my entire life. I have had it under control for a few years now. However... a few months ago I was sexually assaulted. My weightloss efforts hit an immediate brick wall. I was on light duty for several weeks from 3 dislocated ribs, 2 dislocated vertebrae, and a dislocated wrist. I immediately gained back ten pounds, which is so frustrating! I am healed physically... but have been experiencing severe panic attacks in the gym. I have been super motivated to get stronger and in better shape so that I feel more in control of my body and my safety. But... as soon as I start getting short of breath, I get panic attacks. It feels too much like being strangled again.

I know this is a very personal, touchy subject that many people would NOT be willing to talk about- but I thought it'd be worth asking. How did you over come the associations? I have been doing some counseling/reiki sessions to help. But I still have a block. Any advice?

I'm not really sure here. Do you train with a heart rate monitor that could help you pinpoint what BPM gets you short of breath?

What exercise is it? Cardio I am guessing.

What about weight lifting that helps you get strong without being so short of breath-y? Then working your way along?

Hang in there. I'm glad you are doing this for yourself even if it is hard.

A.

I would recommend weight lifting, self defence, kickboxing and yoga. Something like that.. don't push the cardio too much right now. Your mind is healing but your body still remembers. You will certainly over come this but I think maybe building your strength will do a lot for your confidence. You've been through something awful, be kind to yourself. Listen to your body on this one and try something else. You are very strong and brave already.

I've also gone into panic attack/heart palpitation mode from exercise and now I try to be more aware of my anxiety levels through out the day. At night time I practise some deep breathing in bed and do some light yoga morning and night (well most of the time). I find this helps a lot, but still if I'm feeling anxious I do lighter exercise like walking just to enjoy moving without feeling panic.

I don't have any advice, so this post is pretty useless, but I am so so sooo sorry that you had to go through that. The fact that you're back on the weight loss wagon after that experience tells me that you're a very strong person. Best of luck to you!

Hi blondebombshell, I can only imagine how hard dealing with this has been for you. I was sexually assaulted almost 10 years ago and I still have residual effects. I have post traumatic stress disorder and I know all too well what those anxiety attacks can make you feel like after being strangled. When i was deep in the throws of anxiety and panic my doctor gave me a prescription (well a few different meds). The meds really helped me focus on the mental side of coping because it dulled out the physical effects. Now that I am further away from it I am doing much better, times has helped certain aspects. I am glad that you are seeing a counselor and I reccomend getting in to see a psychiatrist. Also, do you know how to use deep breathing/relaxation techniques? I know it can be hard to make yourself breathe during those sort of things but it helps tremendously. My heart goes out to you. Remember it is normal to have these sorts of feelings and it is ok to seek out as much help as you need. *hugs*

Have you looked into resources available to you as a crime victim? Most states have programs that will assist you in getting counseling or other assistance. I can understand how your brain might trigger a panic attack when your adrenaline/heartrate increases. Though I have never suffered through anything as horrible as you described, my shrink told me that sometimes people experience random fluctuations in pulse during the day and even if you don't consciously notice it, sometimes your body does and it can trigger a panic attack (which has happened to me). I'm not sure how to deal with it beyond acknowledging that this is what's going on, you are not in real danger, you have control of your surroundings, etc. Which is why I hope you find some help with a specialist! Best of luck. My thoughts are with you.

For me, when I have to channel anxiety or anger, or even any sort of overwhelming emotion that I can't get a handle on, it helps to be in some sort of class/group exercise so that I feel more secure. Watching other people learn and struggle along with me is very helpful and keeps me from feeling alone in what I'm doing, and if I feel faint or ill I know others will be there to help. Also, a kickboxing, or any sort of martial arts class would be fantastic for gaining more control over your body, and I personally always feel like an action hero after I leave one.

I'm really in awe of you for continuing your weight loss journey after what happened. You are a huge inspiration to me, and I hope that you find some peace of mind through all of this.

This is really what it comes down to me for me. While I may be emotionally healing, my body is still hypersensitive to the shortness of breath. My mind can say "Its okay, you're safe, calm down" but my body is like, "no no no no I know what happens next!"

I do enjoy the occasional yoga, but I've struggled with carpal tunnel for years. I may need to look into doing some sort of morning meditation/yoga video at home to just help get me back up on my feet. I refuse to let that man take away anything more from me than he already did. So it makes me angry that I can't work through this one thing as quickly as I feel I should.

Just another case of your mind and your body not matching

I have done some strength training over the last few weeks, but I always push myself too far. Thinking I should be much stronger and do much better. Which isn't realistic. I may need to save up for a session with a trainer and help manage my expectations a little better.

Thanks for the kind words and advice!

I have carpal tunnel as well and it does effect what you can do. I haven't tried yoga but I do try deep breathing exercises and stretches which help. Have you gone to physical therapy for the carpal tunnel? There are some stretches/exercise specific to carpal tunnel that you may want to try in combination with bracing. I can PM you a link to what I do if you want.
The hardest part is learning our limitations and pacing ourselves. I also over-do it and pay the price! I'd say to avoid bringing yourself to the "breaking point" set smaller goals throughout the day instead of trying to lump all of your exercise together. I have even had to do this with housework. It makes it easier on the body as well as the mind. Hope your day is going well

Thats a great idea! I always feel like if I'm not purple, bloated, and raining sweat I didn't work hard enough. And that kind of work out just doesnt happen every day :/ Smaller goals through out the day will definitely be beneficial for me, I think. Thanks!

I am still not over the effects of when I was assaulted. Part of that was putting on a lot of my weight. And I still struggle with being healthy because, in my mind, if I see myself as attractive people will see me as prey. I know that that is irrational. But whenever I get forward momentum in my weightloss and self betterment, and something sets me off and scares me, I immediately binge. Being heavy and what I deemed unattractive was a good hiding place... I thought. I am completely in awe that you are pushing through what happened to you so quickly. It took me years to come to terms with the fact that I was destroying mysef because someone hurt me. It took me years to overcome the panic attacks. Worst part is, I was super young and never reported what happened, now this guy is an actor and I will occasionally see him on TV and completely get overwhelmed by PTSD.

What helped with the anxiety and the panic situations (other than time) was biofeedback and EFT. You can find a lot of helpful videos on youtube that will walk you through the EFT. Additionally, find some meditation music or just soothing music (mine is the song from the Kingdom hearts video game) and practice deep breathing and clenching then releasing muscles to the music. Eventually, the music itself becomes a trigger for calmness and will assist you in getting over a panic attack more quickly.

Hope this helps. Sorry if it was TMI.