I deal with negative self-talk too, and one thing that helps me is positive affirmations. It feels REALLY weird when you first start, but it gets easier eventually, and after awhile it becomes a habit. Plus, it's easy. Here's what I do:

I wrote the following phrase on a Post-It and taped it to my bathroom mirror:

I accept myself unconditionally RIGHT NOW.

Every morning and every night, I look at myself in the mirror and say it out loud. It sounds stupid, right? But it really does change the way you think about yourself over time. Plus, it's free and easy, so there's nothing to lose by having a little chat with yourself in the mirror a couple times a day.

I wish you luck. A negative self-image is a very difficult thing to overcome, especially when we don't feel like we deserve to overcome it. But it can be done, I promise. Losing weight helps a lot with that as well, as long as you can learn not to beat yourself up about set-backs and slip-ups along the way.

Everyone is different, especially the way our complicated minds and personalities work. I happen to have OCD, so diets or eating plans start out ok, then I get to where I am obsessed about every bite, then get feeling so crappy, then depressed........
I am trying a "ten pounds at a time" frame of mind rather than looking at how far I have to go. It might work for me, I know in the past looking at the culmination of any long project (school, saving for retirement, even having a baby) would freak me out, like I couldn't fathom the timeframe, and it would fill me with anxiety. So, one day at a time eating healthy, concentrate on ten pounds then worry about the rest after that. Oh, and in the past month I lost ten pounds, the stretchy "bigger" jeans are getting thrown out, and I have been wearing ones I couldn't get into two months ago and congratulating the **** out of myself all day long rather than counting up how far I have to go Hope it helps with the weight thing, but already know it's helping with my attitude and overall wellbeing.

Wow, I'm nearly twice your age and I feel the same way. The funny thing is while I was reading your post, I kept thinking that this young woman should do everything she can to love herself. She should congratulate herself for giving up soda (no small feat). She should enjoy being 19 because time flys andlife is very, very short.

And then I asked myself why can't I do these things for myself? At 36, shouldn't I know better? Truth is, this is hard stuff to deal with. It's hard to love the lady in the mirror. But somehow, we must. I'm struggling terribly with this, but this afternoon I told myself something positive about my body. Now, I never do that. Not ever. But today, I decided to show a little love for myself. I just said "thank God for my body because it allowed me to carry and give birth to my daughter."

I'm going to try to do this every day. Maybe you should try it too. Maybe we should try focusing on the good things our bodies can do rather than how our bodies look (right now). Believe me, it's hard and I don't have all the answers either. But, we've got to try something. We are born loveable. That I know.

About unkind comments others make regarding weight: I have known many people who made a big deal about weight and I swear that for many of them, the only thing they could be "proud" of is the fact they were skinny. I have known alcoholics, welfare cheats, one crazy woman who have blow by blow stories of pinning down her kids and slapping them over and over and about driving drunk with them in the car, one woman who constantly cheated on her husband and abused prescription drugs until it ruin her life and was a contributing factor in her daughter's death, I could go on and on.

For many, "skinny value" is a self serving bias, they have no problem being skinny so they blow it up as being so important to feed their ego. I have gottne to the point of almost paranoia when I learn someone places great value on skinny, or money, or expensive items, wondering what horrible, potentially dangerous trait or habit they are covering for. Then there is the subset of skinny worshipers who abuse laxatives (can you believe in the past five years I have known two women over 65 who complained about pooping themselves in public quite regularly because of the laxative abuse).

In short, it's their problem, really, and for all you young people I wish I could save you some of the years of anguish regarding weight, because when I look back at my life, I can't believe how much pain putting value on other's stupid opinions cost me. I can also say that I have been thin (a little unhealthy about it) and even then when others would make horrid remarks regarding someone a little larger, it hurt and I didn't like at all.

I'd like to thank everyone who responded. I've been watching what I eat (with a few minor setbacks) but I haven't been able to weigh myself due to the fact that I don't have a scale in my dorm. But I'll be at a university closer to home next semester, so I'll have one available.

I really like the idea of the food notebook and giving myself a gold star sticker on each day I've done okay. I use an app on my iPhone to record what foods I eat, but I'm thinking about writing it down instead.

I try to walk around campus every day, but some days it's really too hot out (I live in Florida, the heat is unbearable) so I skip out. However, I will be joining a 24/7 gym when I go back home, so I'll get most of my exercise there in the air-conditioning.

As for my low self-esteem, I can't say it has improved, but I've been trying. I've found my best trick to all of this is just telling myself that I'm not on a diet, I just eat within my limits and get on with my life. It's been helping me to see it more as a change rather than getting disappointed that I'm not losing weight.

I COMPLETELY understand. You are already on the right track. If you can't walk around your campus, find other ways to get a good cardio session in while in your dorm. If you have a roommate ask them if they would like to join. There is a DVD called "Walk away the pounds" or something like that lol. They go from 1 mile to like 10 miles. and all you have to do is pop it in the dvd player and go. You just walk in place with your arms pumping and you get your heart rate up and are sweating in no time. You can get it at target or walmart for pretty cheap.

like I said, you are already on the right path! You just need to tell yourself that you are beautiful and you can do anything. If you have been picked on your motivation can be to prove those ***holes wrong! and when you lose the weight they will just look stupid.

You can do it. I/we believe in you. This forum is great for tips, tricks, motivation, and support. You do your thing and we will be behind you every step of the way! ♥

hi Sarabean,
I think everyone who has ever been overweight gets into a funk at one point or another. I have never been thin. I've always been "chubby", at my heviest i was 298 lbs. I lost the weight very slowly, but steadily, and it hasn't come back. Even when i get off the wagon.
My physician once told me: The faster you loose weight, the faster you gain it after the diet is gone.
He's right I think.
Even if it takes you 2 months to loose 10 lbs, it's still 10lbs that you lost. It's still doing something, that not a lot of people can do.

My suggestion is as follows:
Go see your pcp, have them do some basic blood work for you and make sure they check your TSH, Glucose, and Insulin levels. Because of your weight, you may have insulin resistance, pre-diabetes, or your thyroid may have blown out. I had insulin resistance and my thyroid stopped working which is why i gained so much weight. Even if you've always been heavy, when your around that age, your body dynamics still change. You're now starting to level out, so check yourself out first just to make sure you should stay away from a certain diet, if your at a certain point.
There is also the blood type diet that a lot of people seem to do really well on. You eat certain foods according to your blood type, because that's what your body needs most of. Check it out! (Some people are cursed with no pastas, and others -me- are blessed with pasta!)
Also, I strongly recommend making an appointment with a therapist. NOT a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist you see when you are in some need of medication. First go to either a psychologist, or a counselor. They will help you to learn how to turn your negative thoughts about your self. Cognitive therapy is really effective. Just keep in mind, it generally takes 30 days for the adult mind to adjust to the new thought process.
Also try affirmations every day before bed, and everyday when you wake up. something like "I am a wonderful person who is a great friend and deserves the best things in life. I will loose 2 lbs this week because I can do anything I set my mind to." Word it for what will work for you. Never use but, however, can't, or maybe. It defeats the purpose.
Support from family and friends is very important. Maybe your roomie or someone from your dorm is willing to go to the gym with you every day to cheer you on.
You can do anything you put your mind to. Everyone is here to help.

There is so much wisdom in this thread! I think I'll be referring to it, myself, quite often.
Sarabean, I suggest something more visual. I keep a little glass jar of shiny pennies on my desk and every time I record a pound lost, I drop a penny (always a shiny one, so keep an eye out for them) in the jar. I've been known to take them out and play with them, making patterns on the desktop, feeling their weight in my palm, and pondering how the amount has grown slowly but surely. It's really helpful to see just how succesful you have been, even when you don't particulary "see" the weight loss or "feel" it.

If you don't want to record pounds lost, put a penny in the jar for every positive day you have, or every day you exercise. I think you'll enjoy seeing how it all adds up. Best of luck to you.