I recently started a lower carb diet and joined a new gym. I've been overweight all my life and sort of feel like the blacksheep in my family because i'm "the large one". I feel myself becoming afraid of food. I don't want to eat sometimes because i'm in fear that i'll over eat. I know it's all about portion control but sometimes if I only eat a little, it only makes me want more or want to eat something else. I've been feeling especially down lately because I feel fat and unattractive in terms of attracting men. I've never had a real relationship and i'm 23. I know my life is just starting, i'm just tired of either being used by guys or being the third wheel for my friends. I had a love for food. I don't come from the most stable household so my way of enjoying myself was eating the things i enjoyed since I don't smoke or drink often. Tonight my mom was mad at me because I didn't want to eat dinner so she told me just to eat a little bit. I told her that to me that is like telling a drug addict to just snort a little coke. She says it's different but this is coming from a woman who is 5'0ft tall and 90lbs. I know trying to convince myself to hate food is not the best idea but I need to lose weight and am running out of ideas to get on a path that i will stay on. Any advice?

I struggle with hating food every so often but it's definitely not healthy to hate something that we need to survive. I don't know if this helps any given that it's easier said than done but try to think of how bad you feel after you've eaten something unhealthy. Try to remember that the more you force good eating habits on yourself, the more they become like second nature. For example, I used to drink the heck out of Mt. Dew but I decided to cut that out and start drinking water. At first, it completely sucked and the only way I managed it was by not thinking of it. On my way to class, I'd just grab a bottle of water before even thinking about it. Didn't allow myself the chance to rethink my decision, I just grabbed a bottle and walked away. These days, I crave water and easily drink 40+ ounces a day. Water makes up easily 80% of my liquid intake, if not more.

Also try to keep in mind that making these changes will make you feel proud. The positive feelings will be so much stronger and last so much longer, it's truly worth it. =)


Also, here's an article on the love/hate relationship some of us have with food, not sure if it will help any or not: http://fitbie.msn.com/eat-right/food...e-relationship

I struggle with the same thing, and I try to think of it this way: my relationship with food is unhealthy. Whether I'm binging on an entire box of cookies, or I'm disgusted by the thought of food altogether, it's one and the same thing. Instead of striving for the perfect diet, I strive for a healthier relationship food: craving it only when I'm hungry, making wiser choices, and eating reasonable portions.

It's not an easy transition to make, I know. But I've been on both sides of the extreme: eating food CONSTANTLY, and eating nothing all day and exercising like a fiend. But hang in there, you're not alone in this struggle. Take it one day at a time.

I think we are connecting too much emotion to food.
I try not to think of it as an emotional thing. I tend to think of it as fuel for our bodies!
We are like machines (or at least, I like to think so when I'm working out :P), you want to put the best fuel into machines for the best performance. Same with food. You want your body to take in the good foods, for the best performance. Junky fuel will just crap out machines, cause problems. Same with food.

For me, that is how I got past it.

Hope it helps!

Some Mothers/Family members just don't understand.Telling your Mother that you're just NOT going to eat certain things, letting her know that that's what got you in the shape you're in now should help.Eventually she'll see that you really want to change your way of eating.Stay true to your mindset of wanting/developing a new way of eating and everyday will get easier

I used your drug analogy with family recently. Some people don't understand that food can be an addiction just like drugs. I said, "I wouldn't tell you to just smoke one or two puffs of a cigarette if you were trying to quit, so please respect that food is the same way for me. I need you to support me, not enable me." That helped them quite a bit.

My boyfriend took that analogy and ran with it. He hides all of his junk food so I won't be tempted, and he doesn't eat it around me. He's starting to learn that if he wants to go out for dinner, he needs to ask me early in the morning or the day before; otherwise, I won't have enough calories left in my daily "balance" (I think of it like a bank account).

Thanks everyone for your helpful advice

What was it that she made for dinner? Did it fit into your plan? Or was it carb heavy? I think out right rejecting food isn't going to be the answer. Like others have said you shouldn't hate something that you need to survive. That'd be like hating air or water. But somehow you (and I) need to figure out how to disassociate the emotion from it. I haven't figured it out yet. But maybe to help you out you can get your mom to start making meals that do fit into your plan? Maybe with some support from others it might not make the challenge so daunting. I avoided exercise like the plague. But once my mom joined the gym with me, we go 2 days a week early in the morning (for the past 3 weeks) and its made it much easier.

What I will say is good for you for figuring all of this out now. Stick with it. I was where you are at now about 15 years later and I did nothing about it. Now I feel like I lost all of my twenties and most of my thirties. Definitely figure this out, but don't do it by hating food. There's a happy middle ground somewhere. Good Luck!