October Chat!
 

Hey lovely ladies i know its late in the month but i thought i would start it

Hope everyone is doing well and feeling ok :hug:

iv finally got my wrist back to working order yay! its weak but working :)
i quit my job and i am going freelance no more 4:45am alarm call for me, i managed to get a local job for better money but its freelance and no security but i tell myself even if i was with a big company in this recession no one is secure so i am gonna box cleaver and make some money before my industry crashes and believe me its not gonna be long! anyway I wont bore you with my work crap. I do feel free now though
my mental state is still up and down last weekend i was bad nothing to live for but after getting some help at the docs on monday i am feeling better i am still off my meds of i tread carefully but so far so good.
I have my daughters parents evening tomorrow her 1st one at high school, she is so happy with the way things are going i am looking forward to getting it backed up by her tutors.

Anyway much love to you all and has anyone herd from mom yet? i am worried

Take care

Marie xxx

Hi Marie,

Thank you for starting this thread. I'm glad that you got a job that you seem to be happier at. 4:45 am is early! I thought my getting up at 6:30 am was early! I'm glad your wrist is getting better. I understand wrist pain. I sprained my left wrist a few years back and I still get pain sometimes. Hopefully things will stabilize for you emotionally. I can't stand the ups and downs either. :hug:

As for me, I'm hanging in there. I missed a couple of doses of my Wellbutrin (antidepressant) but I got it today. I just forgot to pick it up at the pharmacy. Things are okay. I am pretty much recovered from a rather minor same day surgery. I took two days off of work for it. Then, I found out that I may need ankle surgery :( I am going to see an ankle surgeon soon, am scared and nervous.

Right now I have a stomach bug and am nasally congested. I am going to try to get seen by my doctor tomorrow.

Have a great day everyone.

Amy

So I have been MIA. I wasn't actually planning on coming back to the site. In august I had some bad rants and felt so stupid so I just deleted my post and left. I "in person" do not complain. I have two close friends that only know if something really upsetting happens but thats it. I learn to look at the good in stuff. So here I was using this thread to just rant and be negative and that is not who I am so I just stepped away. I am glad you guys thought of me. Its ok to vent but I was getting way out of control. I try to live a drama free life but I see it came across that I have a life full of drama :(

So since august i tried zoloft for my premenstrual agitation and it calmed me down great but caused my eating to spiral outta control and me to crash half way thru the day when I was trying to do school with the kids. So after my med check today we are going to try just birth control to stabalize my hormones *crossing fingers*!!

Then we got my son on adhd meds and it has made a HUGE difference in his school work. When talking to a friend whos child is also on meds for that she was telling me she was adhd as a child and finally as an adult went back on it cause it was affecting her life. Well I started thinking hmm maybe I should look it up cause that was a big problem of mine as a kid. Well I looked it up for adults and I hit EVERY single thing on three checklists and half of the hyper checklist. I bout bawled my eyes out cause everything I had read described my life. I was always late, unorganized (despite my great effort), couldn't get started on any task, hyperfocus (you focus on tv, computer etc to avoid the chaos and the lose track of time), sooo much stuff. I have been telling my husband that something is wrong with me and I didnt know what....he would just say fix it and move on. It was a struggle to get my daily house work done. I have never been a lazy person even when I was a manager they would tell me I could stop cleaning or stop working but I would just go...but over the last year and half I have felt lazy cause I couldn't get even the minute task done. They say add/adhd run hand in hand with depression and other mental issues. So my dr is starting me on Ritalin. I am so excited and haven't felt so full of hope in such a long time. If this doesn't help i am going to be bummed.

Then we got a foster girl who is 16 and on probation. She is straight out of lock up. I went to meet with her and they told me she probably wouldn't talk to me but surprising she did. Her mom died of breast cancer a year and half ago and dad is angry and just a family in crisis. She so far has done well...some little lies and minor infractions but as a person you have to look past those issues deeper. She holds everything in and shuts down when she has to deal with anything. She will hold her tears in till she is red in the face. She has tried to find a girl relationship and is desperately seeking that attention from any girl that will give it. They said no one has really taken the time to just care about her....which i naturally do. I am not one to be like well that was stupid you knew they would hurt you etc....so the kids love her and she is really thriving off their love and acceptance here. She gets joy and happiness with the kids just giving her attention and its helped some days when shes down. She is starting to attach to me which is good. I told her I could never take the place of her mom but I will try and help her the best I can. I went out last tuesday just for a break and she had tried texting me asking when i was coming back and then when I got home she come running down with the rest all excited! So that is a step for her. She really really needs someone to love her and support her! When she came she was so used to lock up she would stay where ever you left her. We would come home and I didnt realize she was still at the door waiting to be told where to go. Then after lunch we would all be up and gone and she would sit there till i told her what she could do. But she has great manners and very thankful even for the little things. I really think it will take time and care for her emotions to heal but there is hope for her! I see it in her!

I think that is about it!!! Atleast thats all the highlights. Oh I started zumba at the gym....only walked out on one class cause the dumb lady that was helping was shaking everything from her lil toe to her ears and I couldnt even make up my own moves to what she was doing. So I just went and ran a mile since I was soooo ticked off!! Going in the morning for the other class!!! I practiced some tonight!!! :)

Night/morning cause I guess it is 2:20am now...LOL

hey mom good to see you alive and well ((hugs)) we all rant on her i do big time i cant help it no one in my house will listen to me. seriously dont worry about it rant if you need to! good for you sticking to the zumba i couldnt get along with it so i am sticking with walking and hopefully back to the gym if i get the ok from the docs on friday.

SeaB - you are so right wrist pain is a b1tch iv broken this wrist 2 times and had surgery last year then 8 months later broke it again. oh the joys of hyperflexability. how you feeling now you have the meds back in your system?

As for me im ok i was up at 3am in tears thanks to my wisdom teeth they are taking forever to come through and each time they seem to be more painful :( I cant afford to have them taken out so i guess its suffer it until they come on there own.
its my last 2 days left at my job I am sad to be leaving as the guys there are nice but the traveling is to much bring on the 15min drive next week :) im getting all the normal panics about starting the new job but i keep telling myself it will be ok so it will be ok i hope

Anyway chicks take care xxxx

Hey guys... we're missing a lot of people it seems but I'm glad Mom is back.

:hug: Mom... your info about ADHD is surprising.. I'm a bit like that myself, don't think I'm really ADHD though. That poor girl :( It sounds like it will be a long healing process for her. I've also deleted posts and/or been embarressed about the rant after the fact... I don't complain in person either so this place is a real outlet for me. Don't let it bother you, we all feel like that sometimes.

Marie - Good luck with the new freelance work :) I finally had my wisdoms taken out a few years ago and it is so much better without them. Teeth pulling was one of my greatest fears but it finally just had to be done.

SB - Can I ask what's wrong with your ankel? Surgery sounds scary, I've never had anything done.

Not much is new with me... but hubby finally got part time work. We're still as broke as **** but it's a little better. I keep wanting to start my Christmas shopping but there's just nothing there to do it with! Our young dog is going to be featured in the calendar for the rescue group we got him from. I wrote up a sappy thing about how much we love him and how our old dog is his best friend and sent in probably two dozen pictures for them to pick from. Probably sent in a lot more then they wanted but he's so cute it's easy to get a good picture of him :) I can't wait to see which one(s) they use.

Wow mom, I love that you foster for teens. I used to work at CPS, and a lot of people won't even touch teenagers. Taking in teens is something I aspire to do when my kids are older. I don't think I could handle any more right now! A lot of people don't realize that the older kids who don't go back to their parents for whatever reason, have no family and nowhere to go for summers in college or holidays, etc, once they age out of care. To me that is so sad and I wish more people would consider helping these young people get a better start in their adult lives!

hey ladies hope your all well im ok slowly getting bk to some kind of normal moood apart from being tired constantly. Uni is going well atm but ask me in a few weeks and we will soon see lol 1lb until i reach goal woohoo xxx

Hello! thank you marie for starting the Oct. thread :) best wishes to the new work!! I understand the scariness about starting something different/new. Glad your wrist is all better! but sorry about the wisdom teeth.

hi mom!!! so good to hear from you. I also hope like heck that the med works for you.

hi ems!! 1 pound til you reach goal, wow!:carrot:

hey seabiscuit, hope you feel better.

Aunty Jam, congrats on the doggie centerfold :D and thanks for searching for me :)

and hi to everyone else!

I'm still only working out barely 3 times a week, if I'm lucky. My wonderful summer job ends this Sunday :p Well I gotta put on my big girl panties as they say and just move on.

talk more soon!

Vermont - :hug: Glad to see ya back among the living ;) Sorry to hear your nice summer job is ending but I agree, you have to move on.

ems - Awesome job :D Is this your final weight? Do you get to move into maintenance? Wow... that's my dream - LoL

This is the second time a dog of mine has been in a calendar... my old mutt made it into the one for the humane society here in our town. She was such a pretty girl... passed away in Feb, I miss her :(

hey girls i made it to goal last night woohoo i want to maintain under 147.

my new aim is to loose another 7lbs with no time limit and thats it then x

Yay!
 

Stepping Out-Thanks its is a safe place cause no one here knows anyone I am talking about but I dont like feeling so negative

ems-AWESOME!!!!!!!!! So Jealous!

Vermont-Thanks I hope it does too!

Cloudsky-We are youth pastors and That is where I feel I work best. I have a weird way of still loving them thru their annoying characteristics, I can overlook their moodiness and still love them. They all know they could slap me in the face walk away get into trouble and I am still only a phone call away. Now they have never hit me but of course we have all had our moments of disagreements. I try not to do the mom lecture but try to do the counselor approach and twist things to help them see another perspective on their issues! A lot of times I have known of their parties or whatever even when their parents didn't. Its the only way to keep it open is to not lecture just listen and give advice!

AuntyJam-You can look up symptoms it can explain it better...its atleast worth looking at!!!

marie-thanks. Zumba is really bout having fun but you have to do what works best for you!!!!! :)

So its been a long day. I started getting sick yesterday and been hitting the vit c and it seems to be holding but i was freezing all day. Did Zumba with my mom this morning and my kiddos came in class for a little to do it with me!!! Then had a teen who needed hair and makeup done. Then my foster girl we had for several years since she was 12 and has been home/kinda trying to live on her own is 18 and called 3 times bawling wanting me to come get her. So I am waiting on my husband to get home then gonna drive 1 n half each way to get her...Laundry to do then after that....still feel sick...ughhh!!!

OH OH I almost forgot..I went for a hair cut at a place because i couldn't get down to my regular hair dresser....Yeah they flipping cut my bangs way above my forehead and then actually missed half my bangs, I guess she screwed up the back cause the manager wanted me to come in for her to see it. I AM SOO MAD cause its not fixable I have to walk around in embarrassment for how many weeks till they grow out...ERRRR
Here is a picture of the girls hair and makeup I did!! She is soo pretty!!!

thanks girls :D

I love zumba i go every week thats how iv lost my weight with ww aswell x

ems - congrats!!! :carrot:

momof4, sorry about the haircut!! the new avatar pic is wildly great :cool:

and hey :hug: to eveyrone else!

I have off a week before starting the yuck winter job. Have alot of cleaning projects to do. I know i have complained of the complete clutter and junk in my house, and maybe hinted that it is due to someone else (DH).

Well i had a revelation...if he does not care about the clutter, and does nothing to help, but seems to appreciate when I do something, then it is up to me and i have complete control over that. Like, oka,y that you don't do anything to help...but you can't stop me from trying to fix the situation. So now I feel I can tackle the clutter and freely decide to recycle/throw out stuff. I'ts almost empowering feeling, lol.

and the winter job allows me to work out every single day. So no excuses there. Just (yeah, 'just') have to commit to control my diet!!

I have been using my Happy Light (light therapy) every day and i think it is helping, I am not crying or depressed about my summer job ending or winter (yet)

mom that's wonderful. Keep up your great contribution to the world. Just doing what you do is probably an inspiration to others around you!

Good luck ladies with all your goals! I didn't start my week out great, but I'm on it tomorrow!

Hey everyone :wave:

Ems - CONGRATS!!! :D Enjoy your hard work but be careful not to slide... that's what I did :( I was down to 145 last year and now have to do it all again :(

Mom - She sure is pretty, I was never good at doing hair and make up. I do/wear as little as possible... I'm basically a wash and go person :) I'm not terribly worried about ADHD... I can make myself concentrate if I really try, I think my problem is more the depression end of it.

Vermont - Get to it girl! You'll feel better. Be careful about working out to much too. Sounds like you have a good handle on the clutter thing... I wish I did!!! Besides all of our junk I have half of my parents stuff at my house... (we moved into their house when they moved out) and both of my parents were "keepers". Good grief. We've been there 3 years and I haven't cleaned out anything yet.

I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday... I plan to ask my doctor for a prescription for a happy light. If it's prescribed then my company will pay me back for it :) I told you guys that hubby is working part time, right?

Hellloooo Everybody!!
 

:carrot: Wow!! There are A LOT of new people around here! That is awesome! I know I have been MIA for quite awhile. My life here in California has gotten a little crazy. We have been in the new house for a year now and I truly don't know where the time went. I am still plugging away at my Psychology degree. I am a little over halfway there now. Woo hoo! DH is still getting scans every six months to make sure his little "friend" in the head is staying gone...so far he is still evicted!! We will be celebrating our 21st anniversary on Thursday...we may go out to dinner but he has pretty much already given me everything gift wise anyway. Friday we are going to a book signing for OZZY OSBOURNE!!! AAAAHHHH!!! I really never thought I would be saying something like that. I have been a fan since I was in my teens...I have never gotten to see him in concert which I would love, but at least I will get to meet him. His album Black Rain came out when I was going through the blackest part of my life and it helped make the trip back and forth to the hospital bearable. I hope to be able to tell him that.

This has been an amazing month for me...I mean I always love October but I spent 2 weeks visiting my parents and even though I caught the plague from the plane I still had a wonderful time. My Dad is...well...he has possible dementia and stomach cancer so sometimes things are bittersweet. I managed to focus on the sweet mostly. Then when I got home I had a couple of days to catch my breath and it was off to the Rockstar Energy Drink Uproar festival! Now, I was only familiar with two of the bands but that was enough because one of them happened to be SEETHER!!! My absolute favorite band... DD was lucky because she is a huge Avenged Sevenfold Fan and I had never even heard of them but if it wouldn't have been for Seether I never would have driven an hour to a stadium I had never been to before for an all-day festival....We left at noon, and got home after midnight. We ended up standing in line for like 6 hours all together but it was so worth it!!! I got to meet Shaun Morgan, DD got to meet Three Day's Grace and I got to finally hear them live! They were incredible!!! And!! I was first in line!!! FIRST!!! Oh the bliss!!! The Rapture!!!:D lol...anyway...They were late coming out...I think they may have had a radio interview... When they came into the tent my heart practically stopped...you have to understand...this man's singing has a direct link to my emotions. His music can trigger everything from anger, to sorrow, to joy...mostly I can just feel what he is singing about... I managed to tell them all how much I loved them, the new album, and when I got to Shaun I managed to tell him that he had a direct link into my emotions and that even though I loved the new album that some of it was hard to listen to, and that Pass Slowly makes me cry. He looked up, right into my eyes and said.."I'm sorry..." gasp! Which made me babble incoherently for a couple of minutes about "Noo!! Really!! I loved it!!!" When I finally looked down at my cd I realized that he had written Rock On!! as well as his signature...which is actually extra words...he only signs his name usually...more bliss...more rapture...:carrot:

Anyway! I am back peeps!! I will try not to disappear again for awhile, I love catching up with you all. So glad you are back Mom...I love your new avatar...but I have loved all your avatars...sorry about the bad cut...it can't hide your beauty though...I know it...

My weight loss has not materialized...slow weight creep...even when I am working out regularly...I am still going to yoga twice a week and I am going to join this new gym I have just had a two week trial membership before my trip...the weight training class will be totally good for me. Hopefully I can get myself together...

I have had a pretty hard blow last March...my best friend went crazy and ended up being hospitalized. She was on meds for awhile and then stopped taking them...she is still crazy. I had to go through the grief process with that...the loss of the person that she was. Now, I talk to her on the phone once in awhile...if we discuss my school assignment or what I am learning she is always normal...it is funny how the mind works. :?:

Anyway! I have homework to do this morning and I just wanted to blow in here and let everyone know I am here and listening...

love you guys!!! :hug:

Hello Ravengirl!! good to have you back :hug: yay to you having such a good (great!) time seeing the bands! Real sorry about your friend in the hospital though.

Thanks Holly :D i hope you enjoy your week off before you new job starts :D

Thanks Aunty jam i did have to mant treats this week but im back on it now :D xxx

Hi chicks hope your all doing well this weekend ((hugs))

im have gone back on my meds even though i try and fight it im no good with out them. I forgot how awful they make you feel at 1st all the horrible side effects i feel sick and sleepy all the time its not nice but i am feeling better in myself so there is a plus side. hopefully they will pass soon.

Im not bothering to weigh myself at the moment i will start again once i start to feel better from the meds, and i can deal with what the scales say :(

my new job is going ok im well out of my depth on this one but i am learning and i am loving the challenge just keeping my fingers crossed they dont bust me on not having a clue before i get up to scratch lol

Have a good week chicks love to all
xxxx

Marie, I think you are so cool to do that :devil: that takes so much courage!! and um, balls :D and that you love the challenge is so kewl. I am such a coward, I could never do that. So sorry that the meds are giving you bad side effects, I hope they pass soon. :hug:

Well my yucky winter job starts tomorrow. I just have to make the best of it. They are very eager to have me back, I guess it is nice to be wanted :devil:

I haven't weighed in a while, I just feel so out of shape and miss my in-shape tummy. As I've repeated a billion times, I can work out fine, but have such a hard time saying no to food.

My week off is over. I did accomplish alot -

I reorganized the linen closet so I can actually fit linens, extra blankets and then bathroom supplies on top shelves. DH had to fix the shelves first, that's all I was waiting for.

I reorganized the bathroom, I was inspired because DH put down a new floor. It looks nice and I'm inspired to keep it clean.

I got rid of a few boxes of books (a start) and I got rid of some clothes of mine but accepted a box of clothes, what is wrong with me! lol

I cleaned up DH's side of room which was a disgraceful mess ( I gathered 3 huge garbage bags of clothes that he doesn't wear) and it doesn't hurt my soul anymore to look over there.

I have been using my Happy Light almost every day, and have worked out every day for 6 days, woohoo!

Aunty Jam, I wish i had a handle on the clutter. As I do one tiny thing, I think of the back porch (crammed) the garage (crammed) and want to faint..but I am doing something. Even a box of books or junk out of the house is something, i tell myself.

We have been working on the roof, it's a side roof so just about 15 feet up but since I am the lightest I'm elected up there, haha! I wouldn't be riding anyway, its been overcast and wet for days and days.

Hellooo Everybody!!! I am just quickly jamming in here! Whew! This truly has been the best month!! Yay!! I am so sorry for all of you out there that are struggling right now, it makes me feel guilty coming in here and bounce bounce bouncing all over the place! But then I figure that since they say that negative moods spread maybe I can shine some sunshine into your day by osmosis? What do you think? Because I really am trying to spread the positive to you all...I mean that..
Holly Girl....you behave with that bike of yours! :D And keep after that happy light!!! I have the reverse thing...I start getting sluggish and blah in the heat...October is the start of happy for me even without all the happy stuff going on lately.

Marie: You're beautiful...hope you feel lots better soon...

Mom: Know you're out there...hope you are finding a couple minutes in the craziness that is your life...you do wonderful things...

Aunty! Hope you get your happy light and that it helps a lot...

I just finished my weekend homework and DH is taking me out somewhere tonight where he won't tell me! Thursday was our anniversary and we went to dinner and to see Footloose (you know, the remake) Did you know the original is 25 yrs old!! ARGH!! Really makes me feel weird!! I liked it!! I thought they did a wonderful job managing to make an homage to the original and still update it... I still love the original more but it was really good...You all should go for a lift!!! :)

OOOOHH! Guess what?!!! Then Friday...we got up early...drove over an hour to stand in line at a bookstore to get a wristband to come back several hours later to meet...wait for it....wait for it...heheheh Ozzy Osbourne!!! Yay!!! We got our bands and then when to the next door mall...wandered around...bought a couple things...ate...drank coffee...went next door to that and watched Ides of March to kill a couple hours...BOOORRRING! I love Ryan Gosling but damn...he couldn't even save it... Then stood in line for awhile longer until the Ozman arrived!!! He was early and I think that several of the people that got bands for the earlier group weren't even there. We got to see him really quick...and...I TALKED to him!!! I told him how much Black Rain meant to me and he asked me questions!!! My mind disengaged a little but I managed to not sound like a total idiot...maybe...lol.
He shook our hands and everything...he has an STRONG grip!!! And he looks amazing!!! I couldn't breathe for a little while but hey that is the price you pay for meeting an icon!

Gotta run guys!!!

Hope you are all doing okay!!!

ravengirl - omg congrats on meeting Ozzy!! and actually having a conversation with him, that is so kewl! :cool: and please, you keep bouncin with feeling good, it might rub off on us!! :D I'm pretty sure I said the same here during the middle of summer, when I was on top of the world.

WELL its been horrible last week and today did go well. Last friday my 18 yr old foster girl we had since she was 12 (went home when she was 17) called bawling 3 times she wanted to come home...long story short I was desperately sick still drove the 3 hour drive (round trip) got home at midnight. Then my aunt called and needed a ride home from work at 1am. well then my foster dd decided she did want to live with the other family in our city and completely lied and manipulated me instead of just being upfront about it. Lots of knives in my heart. Thru the whole week she took jabs at me cause the lady she is with hates me! Then one of my teens tried to take on this big production with no experience. I gave her everything i knew and told her to ask for help. Well she waits till the week before when she realizes she is falling apart and asks for help. So I had to go over a few days last week and spent about 10 hours working on scenes and directing scenes and stuff. then trying to clear dramatic people from my life and it just gets worse.
Finally lost it on my dh. He yelled because the package from ups got sent back when I called the station and waited for it to come the next day and finally today when i got thru to someone it wasn't there. yet he was off friday last week and he coulda took care of it if it was so important. I CANT DO ALL OF THIS on my own!! I JUST CANT!!
I thought the meds were helping but I dont think they are strong enough...It keeps my mind from racing but still having a hard time!!!
I am trying to get things organized. and learning i need to plan plan plan or I am going to be completely stressed...cant find kids coats, cant find their shoes.....just one thing after another...HATE THE CHAOS I LIVE IN but its such a big task I feel like i cant fix it. I didnt want to get outta bed this morning so I made the kids play in their room and laid in bed till 10:30...I hate that...i think it was the fact I knew I was already defeated before I ever got outta bed...dirty house, tons of laundry, no gym, school work, calls to make, just a stinkin mess!!!

I am hoping tomorrow will be better

momof4, are you better today?? :hug: I can't offer any good advice, I wish I could. I don't suppose it's even a thinkable idea to maybe tone back on your help with the foster kids or the church work? would that give you more time for home? Maybe that's not even an option. Just trying to think of what might help.

I've been trying to get some things out of the house, and I've focused on our bookcases. We have hundreds of books!! The ones I think I can 'unload' are outdated, and stuff you could look up on the 'net. Books on science and nature and the universe and such; we got for our kids but they're 21 and 27 now :p

I am lucky that i can take a box (beer case size, it would hold 4 six-packs) to the recycling center and just pay 50 cents per box. Oh and I do not drink that beer, I get the empty boxes from work :D They're just a very good size.

I'm just thinking of the inevitable, that I don't want to leave a house FULL for our boys to take care of.

Well I've worked out every day for at least 40 minutes for over a week now :carrot: but I still can't stick to a decent number of calories. Keep hoping that 'some day' i'll get that click and do them together, diet AND excercise.

hugs to everyone :hug:

vermont-The foster girl i have now is pretty low maintance just requires attention and like she is part of our family so thats pretty easy. Her mom was sick the last 2 years of her life so all the attention was on mom then after her moms death the family was in crisis and didnt work together they were all just angry and fought. She is 16 and not used to being just talked to when she does something wrong or being included just to run to the store with me. Its all new for her. The boys (8 & 7) Wanted Jeff (dh) to spike their hair monday before we went out to eat and she was like i want mine spiked to so jeff spiked her hair too...she just longs to be part of a family and not made to feel like shes always in trouble or like shes not there!!!
Church yes I am working on scaling back with that stuff cause I have to take care of me and my house before I can help others. I think I need a higher dose of the adhd meds its working but still seeing some of it...i could be wrong but have to talk to the dr at my med check.

I just need to be more organized and plan and I could do all that is required of me!!

I am better today and second day to the gym working hard no excuses. I was going and switching machines and that took so much time plus people stopping me to talk so I wasnt getting such a high burn. SOO now I am one the elliptical for an hour then some track and weights and if people wanna talk they stop and chat while I am working on the machine!!! My body is very sore so that tells me I wasnt working as hard as I was before when I was losing the weight...SO I have to lose more by the end of the year. I can fit size 14 jeans but cant really get them buttoned without squeezing! SO I have to focus on the little goals and work hard. Dropped out my soda and when I am focused and working hard I really DONT want it (so its not like its even tempting for me!!) But when I am half butting it then I still drink the soda and all SO I CAN DO THIS...I feel focused and hopeful again!!!! Hopefully no more bouts of the downs anytime soon. Then I forgot to start my birthcontrol for the premenstrual depression...luckly this is the easy cycle next soooo it should be ok!!!

Whew that was a lot!!! LOL

PS THAT IS AWESOME YOUR WORKING OUT STEADILY!!!!! It feels good when you think about it!!!!!!! :)

Why am I so sad today???? Why am I crying??? Why can't I just be NORMAL????? That's all I want... just to be normal. I hate this crap.

:( :hug: :hug: did something trigger you? or not..I know sometimes there is no apparent trigger. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this!

momof4, glad you kicked it at the gym!

Aunty I know what you mean -I just wish i was normal. Its frustrating!!!

vermont-thanks Now I ended up having to help my teen out last night at her drama event and run it for her cause she was in a scene so I was on my feet for over 5 hours just circling the building and everything. My knee is so swollen its hard to bend it. I will probably do water aerobics monday or stay home and do house work...LOL

Wish I could figure out my issues...when my house is in chaos I do the zone out thing and then the kids dont listen and then I am soo stressed about the house being a disaster and no order its enough to make someone crazy...I hate it.....I didnt get outta bed till 10 i was up at 7 but it makes me want to just sleep...WHY CANT I BE NORMAL...I WANT TO JUST BAWL AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!!

I don't know if anything has triggered me... just the same old crap <sigh>. I had to take out one of those high interest payday loans yesterday to make it through the week. You coudln't believe what they want just to loan you $200 for 5 days. I found the whole thing humiliating.

Thanks for the hugs and support though...

aunty we have done them and everytime got screwed over so be careful!!! I even made a settlement on one that had already collected over the 150 we borrowed and the now put it into collections AFTER i made a settlement!!! BE CAREFUL!!

Happy Halloween!
 

momof4 - I wish we could come up with a plan, a checklist or something, that would help! but I know everything is so dependent on just how we are feeling at the moment. All I can do is send long-distance :hug: and :cheer: when you are hittin your marks! :cool:

Aunty Jam - Oh I'm so sorry you felt humiliated by that...I hope whoever was doing the loaning would have some human niceness and not make you feel bad :hug: you will get through this!! how are those famous calendar doggies :D

Ravengirl - we are lucky to have your high energy for our fall listlessness :devil: You are to be cheered on for your exercise! A Body Pump class sounds awesome and sore-provoking :devil:

I have reluctantly changed my ticket to show my gain..a few pounds, it sure isn't the end of the world but very hard for me to tackle. Each day I try..as always I can do the workouts but its' the eating that I can't seem to control. Just trying each day.

thanks for the encouragement about the clutter!! woohoo, I have taken boxes and boxes of stuff out. Yesterday was 3 big boxes of books ( i know books are great but they were science and nature books we got for our kids that are outdated, and you can get whatever off the internet); 'coffee table' books from my dad's, novels that I had either read over and over or never at all.

And a printer that I patiently (for weeks) asked my DH to get going for me, nada, so out it went :devil: And a bureau that I took from my dad's house out of obligation, but it was just in the hallway not being used so i put it at the top of our driveway with a FREE sign and within an hour it was gone.

I still don't 'see' a difference in reduction (except for the bureau) but I want to make myself promise "two boxes a week out of the house" and see if i can keep up with that.

I've been lucky and have ridden the motorcycle to work for a few days in a row, 40 degrees in the morning is a bit chilly but it's all good :cool: because the days are definitely numbered.

Oh yeah today is me and DH's 32nd anniversary :cool:

Happy anniversary holly xxx

Mom - It's going to cost us $40 in the end... $20 for each $100 you borrow, but as long as we pay it off when we're supposed to that should be the end of it. My husband used to get them quite frequently when he was working steady but now that he's casual labor he doesn't have a work reference for the loan. Otherwise I'd make him do it.

Holly - Holy carp 32 years? Wow... congrats girl, that's amazing. My parents just had their 42 year anniversary. I'm not sure we'll last that long... I mean I love the bum, but I was ready to kick him out a few days ago. I knew I'd change my mind so I didn't say anything but I haven't completely changed my mind yet. I'm glad you got rid of some clutter... want to come clean out my house for me? ;) It's one of those things I keep meaning to do but never find thet time... everything in that house has so many memories for me, it's hard to sort through what's important and what's not. The puppies are good... but my old guy has a bald spot on his leg and I think he's losing hair around his mouth too :( A trainer friend told me some dogs actually do lose hair when they age like men but I don't know... it doesn't look like anything, just a bald spot but we can't afford to take him to the vet. Took them both to agility a few nights ago.. the young guy is a real eager beaver, it's super funny to watch, he catches onto things quick.

Raven - Thanks... and please... send me some of your energy! LoL

Hi Ems... Stepping out :wave:

So I might be getting a tattoo... I've been wanting to get a little dog paw with my old girls name on it, we still miss her a lot :( Then I got an email from the humane society I adopted her from that they're doing a tattoo fundraiser... I can't believe they're doing this... but I guess a local artist approached them and wanted to do something for them. Anyway, it's a reduced price ($80), I get paid this weekend and proceeds are going to the humane society so I think I may just do it. We can't afford it of course, but whatever... if we were smart with money we probably wouldn't be so badly off... hahahaha.

Bounce Bounce!!!
 

Heeeellllooo Peeps!!! Yeessss, it is your resident bundle of light and energy!!! LOL! :D Whew! Okay, so I didn't go to the gym or anything yesterday because A) I was sore as **** and B) I had to get my homework done so that I wouldn't have to worry about it today! Tuesdays and Thursdays are BUSY! I go to yoga at 9, get home about 10:45, refuel with a small snack and drive to the gym for Body Pump at 12:15! In fact...my arms are so tired that even typing this is a chore!!! You know that you are working hard when your arms are already sore after only a couple of hours. Usually we hit the grocery store after class, DD has been getting a donut (miracle of miracles I have not even wanted one!) :carrot: I have been taking protein powder in my blender ball and then getting a banana or something at the store. I don't keep them in the house because they go off ususally before I get around to eating them and DH & DD are both allergic to them. DH can't even stand the smell of them. Today I did get a cinnamon gingerbread latte though...that is okay though. I have been sticking to small meals often and my energy really has been better than usual. I mean, weights make me tired and I am tired now but I still feel good mentally. Okay get this, my yoga teacher made me show off the uber tough plank move in yoga this morning and then through in planks when she knew my thighs were already killing me!!! Evil!!! I didn't do some of the tougher leg moves because I knew I was going to Body Pump later and my instructor there is double EVIL! I love her and hate her at the same time! Ugh, I need more practice with the plank moves. I did more weight on the arms today because I knew that I wouldn't have to go back until Tuesday...that is going to hurt later.... :lifter:

Holly! Happy Anniversary!!! We just had our 21st...and I am lucky to be married to my best friend...who still makes me hot! :devil:][ And, I count any progress on clutter as a huge victory!

Aunty! Love the tattoo idea!!! I am a tattoo/piercing kinda girl myself! Love them! Go for it!!

Stepping Out! Good to see ya!! Hope you are doing well!

Mom....love ya!! Hope you are having a good day today!

Ems! You look beautiful! :D

You are all beautiful! If you have a roof over your head. If you are warm and fed. If you have one friend who loves you and/or someone/some animal/ to share your day with you have more than a lot of others... I was standing in the warm shower this morning with the chill in the air outside the shower and just felt the bliss of having the privilege of standing under warm running water for as long as I needed. I smiled and cranked up my Seether cd all the way to yoga....little things...are always the most important!

Group hug Everybody!!

ravengirl, I LOVE your postive-ness!! I truly, truly need to count my blessings daily..or even hourly sometimes. Thanks!

Aunty - GO FOR IT!! first, the idea of the paw with your dear doggie's name is so cute. Second, it was meant to be!! with the offer with the human society. kewl!!

thanks for the congrats :) there are times , though, I tell ya , lol. But you know.

have a great day!

I just had to do it.... the picture I mean. I don't think I can get the tattoo... just too broke, the toilet broke. The tank actually cracked. Sucks big time. FML.