Wow what you have said here sounds just like me and how I think and feel.

i always like this kind of thread because it amazes me. i grew up being told that your weight won't change anything, that you would still have the same problems as before. but, i'm realizing that this line of thinking was from people who did not really have weight problems. i didn't either then. i wasn't always stick skinny but i think we didn't have enough food for me to gain too much, etc.

now having gained and lost a fair amount of weight, and thinking about it more, i do believe i am treated differently by all aspects of society. sometimes it's very subtle but if i remember people's reaction in prior years, to now, yeah it's different. it's like when i approach strangers, i don't get a look of contrived polite "well what do YOU want". i get a smile and a different look. about this feeling invisible, hmm. i did get looked at by men but i eventually learned better than to actually act like i wanted to even speak to them. now i can say the looks might have been because my appearance might have been sort of unusual with a big body and long hair, etc. so i did feel invisible in the sense that i was not even considered a 'woman' to them, not even on their radar as a 'woman'. because they treated me like i was a piece of the furniture. some of these same people still have their mouths on the floor when they see me, and i still return the favor of treating them like they are a piece of the furniture. i still havnen't had a major influx of attention from men, but there aren't that many single men in my age group at all. they still look but they won't come over and talk. so i don't always go across the room to talk to them, of course.

Wow, i was thinking about this recently! Totally hit on point for me...I'm scared to lose the weight in a way because I'm scared of what I'll look like and who I'll be once i'm thin.

I'm scared that I'll become a nasty person, even though I'm a very kind loving person...I think there's fear that I'll get full of myself.

I'm mostly scared of, like everybody else has said, getting unwanted attention from males.

I also have OCD...and that plays a big role in having fears and anxiety about being thin. I worry that my husband won't love me anymore, I worry that he'll feel threatened, I worry that I'll be attacked/raped, I worry that if I'm thin my OCD will get worse because I won't have my addiction to food to comfort my anxieties anymore.

ive never been afraid of being thin. i want my bf to be able to carry me and spin me, i want to be able to walk further with him without slowing him down, i want to feel my age not twice it, i want to dress my age, i dont see why id be afraid. my weights never been something i obsessed over, its no security blanket and im certainly not afraid of men or sex, i love men and their attentions, whether im 272 or 122 ill be charlie, ill always be charlie, ive never let my weight define me , so im ready to be thin

There is less of a fear and more of an "unimaginable" quality to being thin for me...I was born a 10 pound baby and not for 1 second of my 22 year life have I ever been thin or even a healthy weight. My identity, including my whole family environment (Italian-American upbringing, all of us are large)...is FAT! So I cant imagine myself thin...Like: Do I exist as a slender human being? Thats sort of a fear, I just can't wrap my mind around it!

my only fear is never getting to be thin. inside i feel like a 140lb atheletic woman, and on the outside im a slow walking 272 lb woman , my outer and inner images are confused, so my fear is never being thin because right now i do not feel right in my own skin i feel trapped in someone elses body. thats my fear -that im sentenced to a life of being in anothers body

i feel the same way i can relate

I have that fear also. I feel the exact same way. It is a horrible feeling and hope one day I can look on the outside as to how I feel on the inside.

Fore some reason my mother hated fat people. She made me feel bad
about the few extra pounds I had even in kindergarden. When you are
a guy and your mother makes you feal like a loser because of your weigh
and stuttering at that early age it's hard to feal good about yourself.
So when I tried to start dating in high school I knew no girl would like me
if I was fat so I went expecting rejection and found rejection. Of cource
the few times I was thin I felt so much better about myself I did have a little
luck with the girls. ( strange my stuttering just about clears up if I am thin)
So I had writen my own self forfilling prophecy ( if I am fat I can't get a date)
And the real truth is I can't get a date when I am fat because I am depressed, irritable,moody,think I look like ****, have a lot of trouble talking
and expect to be turned down. Sure being fat doesn't help but it's mostly
my attitude about my obesity that's my problem.

Now I am sort of scared of geting thin cause in the past when I did I got
involved with someone. Then gained some of the weight back became moody,
depressed, irritable stuttering more and poof they were gone. By the way
I haven't met any one else who has had his stuttering change a lot when
there weight changed.

Goodness I had this fear too! I was always a very active person, playing soccer as a youngster and going to the gym in high school. I FELT like I was small and athletic but I wasn't. I always felt like I was living in someone else's body. Who was this 200lb woman I was seeing?

I'm here now and...now I feel the same in some respects. I look in the mirror and I SEE the person I've imagined myself to be (which is a wild feeling if you've never felt that way in your life) but now I sometimes feel like that 200lb woman that I was for so long. I don't FEEL thin yet, and ironically I felt that way when I was fat.

It's weird though, seeing myself as I always pictured myself in my head. It sort of hit me just before I got to my goal weight when I looked at myself in the mirror and realized I had reached that point—looking in the mirror and seeing the person I had always imagined myself to be.

stay hopeful ladies you will get there. enjoy the journey at every stage.

The things you girls are saying rings so true to me. Reading all of your posts makes me realize that I'm not alone in this.

1.You may fear your sexual energy. Many individuals fear that they will lose control sexually if they lose weight.

4.Your fat may be a way of resisting the growing-up process (baby fat), because adulthood seems frightening.

6.Weight loss may require you to accept more challenges or responsibilities. Staying fat then becomes a form of safety.

7.You may fear being seen and therefore judged.

8.You may fear the loss of food as a drug and a hiding place from the difficulties of your life.

9.You may fear your own power: “Who and what will I be if I drop these pounds?”

Charlaine, i have attempted to express that feeling so many times and my friends just dont get it! All of my friends are slim, so that is probably why.
It is scary feeling like the body you are in is not yours. I actually get a little shock each and everytime time i see my body in the mirror as that is not what i see in my mind!

Goodmornin g InsideMe!

I think I just got through one of these walls again.
As you know I had one at 220-223 for 6weeks.
Then I realized I was having one again at 207-209.

So Ive really focused on my habits and postive reinforcement. I keep reminding myself I deserve to be happy and i deserve to be helathy i am worth it all.

Thank you for writing this thread it has helped me so much! : )