feeling ugly.
 

I've had a lot of negative thoughts about how I look, particularly about my face.

I've even gone as far as look up where to get plastic surgery, costs etc.

I always have these sort of feelings in the back of my mind, but it's strange; one minute I feel like the most beautiful person in the world and the next, I am the ugliest one.

I think that the feeling of being "beautiful" is misguided, at least for me. Because I'm not pretty.

As I've gained weight I've just felt more and more depressed and I feel as though the only way out is to get plastic surgery on my face.

I have no idea how to counter this, although I guess my feelings come from my fear of nobody loving me, not getting a boyfriend etc. It's just so frustrating.

I know what you mean. I actually just posted something similar to this. It's the reason why I gained so much weight. Because I have an ugly face. Even when I was tiny I didn't loook pretty. So why should expect once I get skinny again to look good? I know I will always be ugly. I've considered plastic surgury as well. I've a lot of advice about what attracts a guy to a girl. They always answer that they are attracted to the face first, and then the rest. So if I am ugly, how do I know a man will ever like me? I can have the best personality in the world, and thin body and still no man will like me because of my face. I absolutely hate looking at my hideous face in the mirror.

Trolsk, hi honey you need to read what I have put under Ashleys thread.
Its so sad you girls are feeling this way, this is going to sound cheesy but you need to love yourself, i highly doubt you girls are ugly at all.

I will tell you alittle about me, if thats ok and a few things that have opened my eyes to life since I started my journey to get better and beat depression.
I have always struggled with how I look, not being pretty and as I got older being over weight. Most importantly I dont fit in I am totally unique.
I was sent away to a posh bording school as my dad made a lot of money in the 80's, I have a awful common accent I only survived because I played
sports. once I left and started in the work place I went into construction where for years I was the only female in the company. I just didnt fit in ANYWHERE.
I had my 2 children and the weight started to pile on and my teeth have started to fall out.
Post natal depression lead to Bipolar and I got worse and worse everything got to be from looking at my wedding photo's (i am VERY unphotogenic) I still havent put the pic's up as I looked that bad. to being fat then to having no friends or social group to be part of.
I started on Anti depression and at 1st I got worse, I tried to kill my myself. Now I am getting real help and getting better.
I still hate my weight but I am losing it and coming to accept I will always have a big butt. My face will never be "pretty" and I still have to get my teeth fixed but I like me.
I am kind and caring and I love to have a good time, if its not fun its not worth doing right?
I still dont fit in with social groups but you know I have a couple of friends and my sister, thats all i need.
I live by the mantra if you dont like me its your loss, you dont know what you are missing.
This kick arse attitude has got me far.
My husband thinks I am the most beautiful woman on the planet, I dont always agree with this, but he says it's who I am that makes me truly beautiful.

I know its really hard girls but once you accept you for how and what you are you will feel so much better about things and not feel ugly any more because you really are not.

I was on the train home from work on day this week and a lady got on, I looked at her and thought wow she is gorgeous on 1st glance.
I looked more closely at her she was a big girl, her face was average but she had this air of confidence about her that was amazing, it truly changed her appearance from overweight average looking girl to a gorgeous looking women.
I cant stress enough girls that its who you are thats beautiful and once you accept and embrace it, the beauty will shine through.

Sorry to bang on, I just feel so sad for you girls, no one should be made to feel ugly.

Surgery will not make you feel any better about yourself, it will change how you look but your issues will still be the same. Work through them 1st and get better before you do anything drastic

Take care girls I hope you learn to love yourself soon and feel much more happier xx

I agree. It's exactly how it feels for me, too.

I am so happy for you, that you got out of your depression and that you have people who are there for you.

Your comment really made me feel a bit better, as did Ashley's.

Thanks to both of you - it's somewhat lightened up my spirit.

I really think that beauty has much more to do with how you carry yourself than anything else. My brother had a girlfriend that most would not consider to be attractive, but she was his ideal woman. When you would talk to her, you would enjoy her so much that you thought she was the most adorable person! i have also heard that feeling like this can be attributed to body dysmorphic disorder? Something like that? Sorry, I haven't slept most of the night. I think it's important to complement yourself with positive self talk. For every negative you tell yourself, fight back with a few positives until they're all positive. Finally, maybe try to volunteer your time so that you can focus on helping others and see yourself as more than just a physical entity. You are a person with much to offer!

Trolsk, glad you feel a little better.
I am not over my depression buy a long shot and thanks to the bipolar disorder i will be on happy pills for the rest of my life, but one day at a time hey. I have just got over the hating myself, in looks and how i am.
I really hope you get some kind of self love soon darling, you are a human like all the rest of us and as beautiful in your own way.

Lucky, totally agree that you should compliment yourself and seeing yourself as more then a physical entity is so right we are so much more then the shell we live in.
Hope your ok with the lack if sleep, are you alright?

Reading this has helped me to I have realized alot about my self too, Im not normally so passionate about things but what you ladies where saying really made me feel sad and a kind of caring that you are alright and get over this awful time.

Take care xx

What about finding one thing you love about yourself and making it look amazing! For me, I've always loved my eyes. My (dyed) dark hair makes the blue in them pop and I buy natural looking fake eyelashes that I wear everyday (they're so easy once you get used to them) to draw attention to them even more. Sorry about the super up close photo - it's all I have on my computer right now. Even something as small as highlights in your hair can have a huge impact.

Drat! It's upside down. Just stand on your head ;)

Thank you!

Now that you mention it, I also think that's quite true.

About body dysmorphic disorder, I've checked it up although I'm not really sure if I have something like that.

I'll try fighting back the negative thoughts as much as I can, but it's no easy. It's strange how you value other people's opinions more than you value your own, you know.

It's still great that you've managed to get over such a thing. I feel as though I'll never get away from this feeling, somehow.

You have very beautiful eyes indeed! I wish mine were as blue as well.

I can relate to all this. I can relate to all this so much.

It is so hard not to get outrageously bummed out when you don't feel good enough to face the world. I'm working on my depression, but there are still plenty of days when I decline to go out socially because I feel - almost literally - that I don't want to subject the general public to my appearance. Like the men I'll meet would be laughing behind my back for even bothering to smile at them. Like the men I already know don't think of me as a woman (they don't). I too have those random moments where I feel like the hottest thing since the sun, but unfortunately that usually only happens when I'm sitting around the house alone, and vanishes quickly. I can become totally overwhelmed by feelings of physical inferiority around other women. I'm not sure what the solution is - if I find it, I'll let you know - but you're certainly not alone.

To the ladies who are worried about not having a pretty enough face where men are concerned - First, EVERYBODY has something beautiful about their faces! I have NEVER seen any woman and thought, "Wow, she doesn't have a single nice feature." Find it, and play it up. Play it up so much that it distracts even you from the stuff you don't like as much. And honestly, regarding men, I feel like things are completely the opposite way around! I believe that an average-to-good body will get you farther in terms of raw sex appeal than a pretty face will, so I think fitness is still an incredibly important goal for me to work toward. I look around at the ladies my male friends are dating, and while they're all sweet girls, they've all got more going on in the body department than the face department. And none of them are really above average in the body department either.

BDD is definitely a legitimate thing. I believe a great many of us have completely skewed perceptions of what we look like. Sometimes I'll feel completely hideous, but accidentally catch my reflection in a mirror somewhere or someone will take a photo and I'll think, "Wow, that doesn't even look like me. I look good!" And conversely, sometimes I leave the house feeling like I look fierce, only to realize later (mostly through unflattering photos) that I was very wrong. So as odd a thing as it is to say, you can't always trust what you think you look like.

What kills me is that everybody says - correctly - that confidence is priceless when it comes to attracting potential partners. If confidence is the key, then I'm screwed! I could fake it, but I'm pretty sure it must be genuine.:dizzy:

Just chiming in to say that I can relate to all f this. It's a horrible way to go through life.

Trolsk, are you on any meds for depression? if you are go back and get them changed if not then i strongly advise you go talk to your doctor, you cant go on feeling like this and dont be afraid to ask for help.

Sparky, your bang on darling about making your best feature even more amazing, your eyes are beautiful such a gorgeous colour.

scoot, honey your not ugly if the pic you have up is you, you have that little cute look going on, your eyes look naughty and pixi like. hope you get what I mean.
Your confidence will come honey when you start to shift the depression, and you know we all fake it at times :)

My thing is my eyebrows I keep them short and have a high arch, ok i have to draw them on but i think it works my face, my husband thinks I look like a clown at times, but I like them so I am keeping them.

Dont be afraid to be yourself girls, if its like me covering my face in a tonne of make up or dressing quirky, if it makes you feel good ROCK IT LADIES!! Just try it at home get dressed up or down if thats your thing make yourself feel good and comfortable then have a look in the mirror, it works for me when I am feeling crap, even if I would not leave the house in the outfit.

If your really down about your faces, us bigger chicks have large chest's make them your feature because believe me, you have a lager rack the guys will not be looking at your face.
(this was not meant in a pervy way just trying to give you something else to focus on)

Ok i will stop being mother hen, i just wish I could make you girls see how beautiful you are.

How old are you? I think age has a lot to do with this. I used to be the ugly duckling in high school and college. I felt so inferior to everyone around me. As i got older, my confidence grew and at the same time, i cared less what people thought of me. That changes everything. Now i consider myself "hot." i would have never, ever thought i would say that when i was 18. You do have to work on changing your attitude...but that gets easier with age.

[QUOTE=Scoot;3841183]...I too have those random moments where I feel like the hottest thing since the sun, but unfortunately that usually only happens when I'm sitting around the house alone, and vanishes quickly. I can become totally overwhelmed by feelings of physical inferiority around other women. I'm not sure what the solution is - if I find it, I'll let you know - but you're certainly not alone.
QUOTE]

That's how it feels all the time. Sort of changing opinions all the time.



I am not on any meds, and I don't think I really need them, somehow... or maybe that's just because I don't wanna reveal this weakness I have. I guess I'm the sort of person who's a bit hard to get to know, through and through.

I have tiiiny breasts though, 80A haha ;)

Really glad you've been giving such good advice, I think I can perhaps leave this part of me soon ^^"

Going to be 17 this year. I hope I'll feel way different about my looks in time, perhaps my hormones will calm down or something haha.

@Everyone: Thank you SO MUCH for your support, experiences and advice! I never thought I'd feel much better, but thanks to you my feelings have changed a bit, at least. This thread was sort of a last resort as to vent these frustrating feelings.

Thank you, once again, and I hope we can all look back at this one day and laugh at how vain we were x)

Oh...17...you are young...it will still be at least 5-10 years before you gain the confidence that naturally just comes with old age haha. All the cheesy stuff they tell you when you're a kid...to love yourself, that you're unique, all that crap...you really start to realize it's true when you get older. I used to think i was nothing more than what other people thought of me...that was the most important thing. Now, i really don't care that much...i do care, but it's completely different than how i felt when i was 17.

Oh...and i never had a boyfriend (or anything remotely close) until i was 19...i NEVER thought it would happen to me...but it will.

Trolsk, so glad your feeling abit better about things. i would love to be 17 again try and enjoy it you never get these time back. Im 30 in a few weeks its such a depressing though, I may have gotten over my looks but I am so not over my age problem.

Surfergirl is so right as you get older your confidence will grow not just with boys but about life in general.

One last little marie tip, i wear large dark shades when I am out they mask me and it really helps on days when I am not feeling confident, and they look sexy (well i think so)

Good luck darling xx

this. this. this!

pamper yourself - you're worth it. keihls and lush make absolutely gorgeous bath and body products. falsies are so much fun, don't be intimidated by them! i wear them every day too! sometimes even two pairs if i'm feeling daring...eyebrow shaping also makes a huge difference.

for a while i underestimated the little things. if i feel like i let my body go, why even bother with the rest of it? but i was so, so wrong. a haircut and color change you! a little spray tan, or a nice keratin treatment on your hair. spoil yourself! you sure as **** deserve it for all your hard work.

Ugliness is not a fear of life but a good health must be your target in your life..
A good health can remove the ugly..

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder--
You ladies might consider researching body image disorders like body dimorphic disorder.
Of course, I wouldn't dare say that you have one just because you feel ugly sometimes--most women do feel ugly sometimes.

But really, your confidence and feelings about your looks are going to impact your relationships and your happiness--way more than your actual looks ever will.

I've seen very average looking women get a lot of attention from men because they are outgoing, friendly, confident, and overall pleasant to be around. Whereas I've seen very pretty girls be in unhappy relationships or have trouble finding a good guy.

It really has way more to do with attitude than looks. Believe me. Do what makes you feel good about yourself--for you.

It's interesting to read this thread because I am in exactly the opposite boat. I have always thought I have a really pretty face and a hideously awful puffy body. I know exactly what all of you mean when you say that some days you just can't even leave the house because you feel so bad about your looks... A couple weeks ago my boyfriend's family came to town to take us out and I ended up having a breakdown as they were sitting in the car waiting for us... all because I felt ugly. I ended up asking them to go without me, and missed out on what probably would have been a really fun day. It definitely does suck having a part of your body that you just can't stand.

I agree also that 17 is awfully young to be writing off successful relationships as a possibility. Trust me, if I can find a loving boyfriend that accepts my michelin-man body, then you can find one that thinks you have a beautiful face. But remember not to get too caught up in what boys think of you - all of the other posters here are right when they say to learn to love yourself first and your confidence and beauty will come naturally.

Most people who know me think I am a happy and confident girl, so it kind of annoys me when people think it's my fault that I get made fun of for being ugly. I knew a girl who thought she was ugly but I couldn't see how she figured that because she seriously looked like a model. I didn't find out until weeks of knowing her that she thought she was ugly. When I first met her, my first impression was on how beautiful she was. So if it were true that people only think other people are ugly because they have a bad attitude about themselves, then I would have thought the girl was ugly. The reason she thought she was ugly was because her dad told her that she was all the time.

I get told all the time by people, especially strangers, that I am ugly. The ones who know me don't even realize I feel down about my looks. They think I am a happy go lucky person who is confident. The one time I was joking around that I would be a bitter old cat lady when I got old, and a guy said: "You? Bitter? Yeah right."

So no, it can't be because of my attitude or negativity that people call me ugly when people don't realize what I think.

This is me.

To the other Ashley:

I think you look fine! In fact, you have a beautiful smile!

Everyone has something about them they think is "ugly". I hate my teeth, and my forehead (so i have bangs hehe). and, of course, i'm over weight.

but my boyfriend thinks im gorgeous. and thats all that really matters right?

someone WILL think you're gorgeous, and fall in love with you. regardless of how you feel about yourself.

have you ever seen a couple, and thought to yourself that one or both of them were..unattractive? it's okay, everyone has those thoughts. it's natural.
but i'm sure they find each other very attractive.

i'm sure people have seen me with boyfriends (cuz they always seem to be far more attractive than me lol) and been like "wtf?! he could do so much better!" and you know what I DON'T CARE! my man loves me :)

when I was 17, i weighed 342 pounds, trust me, i wasn't exactly turning heads (at least in good ways :-/) I'm now 20, and yes, I am 'smaller', but i'm still big, my teeth are still not perfect, and i wear glasses. the difference now is, i'm CONFIDENT. I know I'm lovable, and trust me.. once you love yourself, someone else will want to love you too

<3

I would recommend talking to a psychologist about this if the urge to do plastic surgery is very strong.
How long do you watch yourself in the mirror every day?
Do you leave the house without heavy make-up?
Do you think everyone or almost everyone is looking at you when you go out and judging you?
If the answers to these are positive or extreme then you might need therapy for BDD. If not then you probably just have the natural insecurities that come with having a socially non-accepted weight. It is actually so rare to meet a heavier girl that really feels ok and confident about her weight so don't feel alone there. It is normal to some degree, if anything as a healthy stirr to get you to lose weight and live longer.
Boyfriends and admirers will come no matter the weight if you know how to strut your stuff confidently.

I dislike my face more than my body. My body is easy to alter, however my nose and chin I have to live with forever.

Girl, you're adorable! Who in their right freaking mind would call you ugly? You have to be misinterpreting them..that, or they're just speaking out of their own insecurity, cus you're cute as ****.

^ It's hard to misinterpret people telling me to my face that I am ugly. It's something I've been getting told since I was 12. But thanks for the compliment.

I've struggled with this too for years. When it's this severe it has nothing to do with what we look like in reality, it's how we feel. I don't have an answer. Having a child and responsibilities helped me. The most recent trigger for me was getting to know someone romantically.

The post about the father is absolutely right. For me it wasn't "your ugly" but nobody wants you, things like that. One thing as a parent I can see how screwed up it is and how he lacks empathy- and that did give me less guilt about having an eating disorder when I was a teen and these issues.

I'm a Christian and I love the faith I was raised in but the answer of a Bible verse would never help. Most people are well meaning but they don't understand it's some kind of disorder - it's not solved with just normal encouragement. I needed to be able to cry, learn it's ok to feel angry, have someone hug me when they saw I was feeling this awful emotions of being ugly and get some validation.

It's also very hard on the caretaker or a person trying to support someone feeling like this. They can start to feel their efforts are in vain.

I think you're cute! Ignore the haters. They suck.

For almost my entire life I've been told nothing positive about myself by friends, family and everyone else. When I was young, I was overweight so no kid would want to hang out with me. When I got into elementary school, I had a mini crush on a guy and he rejected me in the WORST way a kid can do to another kid, it left a bad scar in me even now. In high school, I was a part of a group of people but no one in that group cares about me, they more or less just "pretend" to be my friends because asians try to stick together in a group in a western school.
I've been told by my own mother that I looked unhuman because I was so fat. She accused me of being pregnant at age 15 because I was 160 pounds. Guys have said horrible, horrible things about me like how I m chubby and gross, and how I have a mustache ( i know, wtf), anything you can imagine.

The morale of the story is, I know how you feel and I struggle with it every single day. You just can't give in to the thoughts of thinking yourself as someone ugly, you are beautiful.

I understand how you feel. No matter what people say, its hard to change your self perception-and looks to a degree can be subjective, maybe you dont fulfill your standard of beauty. Personally, I've only gotten a couple comments about my nose, but its way too big for my face. My other features are average proportionally, but with the nose just totally takes over because it is so wide and sticks out a lot.
Here's how I rationalize it-I see a lot of people everyday. If I really had to think about it, some I find pretty, some attractive, and yes, some physically unattractive, but those that I find unattractive, I don't think of them any lesser as people. I'm sure that most people feel the same way (unless they never found anyone ugly ever)-if you don't like yourself because you think that you are ugly, do you think that the people you find ugly should hate themselves too? That is what I asked myself, and I though ugh no way! I wouldn't want someone to ever feel ashamed about themselves because they didn't fit a standard of beauty. I know people who I don't find goodlooking who have great dating lives, great social lives and just attract so many people-mainly because they put themselves out there and take care of themselves-they are social, healthy and dress well.

As far as plastic surgery goes, I am not saying no, but remember that its all about proportion and whether or not unconventional features might actually be a plus for the face. If, for example, Lea Michelle of Glee got a nose job, it might look too tiny on her face because she has a more square jaw. Jennifer Grey and Ashley Tilsdale kinda got off the radar after their PS, which were actually pretty good jobs. So its definitely worth really pondering about-but I'm not against the idea of PS or anything (I'm considering it myself). I would only do it for one feature that I really do not like (nose), and there are other things that I dont like about my face, but as long as I can grow to accept them, then I wouldn't change.

If it helps, there are top runway models who made tons of money with "alien" faces, and the competition to be a runway model is prob huge. Models didn't look like this in the 90s (more conventional looking) so you can see, standards of beauty are fluid and features that aren't considered beautiful normally-at least not to me-can be liked by other people.
http://www.style.com/slideshows/2010...UTY/00260m.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b2..._/00010m-7.jpg

And I wanted to add, I remember one time online someone made a post (not on 3fc) that they found Kate Middleton average looking and got a lot of negative comments about it. That poster replied and asked Why? Is it the end of the world if a woman is not physically beautiful-and what was wrong with that-she clearly complimented other traits that she found amazing about Kate Middleton. We see some men on TV who are clearly aware that they are not playing attractive characters, and their characters have nice, complete lives. Isn't it just good enough that that a woman is kind, a good friend, and interesting, etc? Why must it be so absolute that she must be considered beautiful as well?

The part about men looking at the face first is an old wives tale from the country:(( Better to learn that while you are still young. They first look at your range of measurements, height, hair color, hair length, in about that order. I've seen droves of men pick women who are down-right ugly in the face but they are bone skinny. Give me a skinny body over a 'pretty' face any day. I don't want my face to be scarred or anything like that, but I'd choose a skinny body over a 'pretty' face. Read all the forums where bigger women complain about having been told they "have a pretty face" while they watch so many guys go on to skinnier women.

When I get down on my looks, I have this mantra I repeat over and over: "you are you, you are you, you are you..." It's cliche but it reminds me that I'm utterly unique, specifically the combination of my good and bad features is utterly unique. Somehow this helps.

And I listen to super-empowering music. My #1 power song is Work That (Mary J Blige) and I'm putting some of the lyrics below. Every single word of it speaks to me and comforts me when I'm down.

There's so many of you girls
I hear you been running
From the beautiful queen
That you could be becoming
You can look at my palm
And see the storm coming
Read the book of my life
And see I've overcome it
Just because the length of your hair ain't long
And they often criticize you for your skin tone
Wanna hold your head high
Cause you're a pretty woman
Get your runway stride hone it
Keep it going
Girl live ya life

I just wanna be myself
Don't sweat girl be yourself
Follow me
Follow me
Follow me girl be yourself
That's why I be myself
And I'm gonna love it

Let em get mad
They gonna hate anyway
Don't you get that?
Doesn't matter if you're going on with their plan
They'll never be happy
Cause they're not happy with themselves

I'm talking bout things that I know
It's okay to show yourself some love
Don't worry bout who's saying what
It's gonna be fine
Work what you got

Feeling great because the light's on me
Celebrating the things that everyone told me
Would never happen but God has put his hands on me
And ain't a man alive could ever take it from me
Working with what I got I gotta keep on
Taking care of myself I wanna live long
Ain't never ashamed what life did to me
Wasn't afraid to change 'cause it was good for me!

hey.. I feel really bad about the way I look at times, but I try to ignore that. I don't think it's my face though.. It's my body. I hate fitting rooms, nothing looks good and I just feel like crying.. Such an embarrassment.

I'ld like to direct you to an awesome book called "YOU: Being Beautiful", co-written by Dr. Oz. It's a good read and puts things into perspective. It talks about depression, changing the way you think, and changing how you look.
Now losing weight DEFINATELY goes along way. And I think as being overweight for a long time, and being told that we are "ugly" or "unattractive" stays with us even after the kilos are shed. I get complimented all the time, told I look pretty, or beautiful, but I don't believe it! I still have a bit of weight to go, and I'm also getting plastics done.
I don't see what the whole thing is with against plastic surgery! Hey, if you can afford it and improves the asthetic quality of your face I say go for it! It can also make you feel a lot better about yourself. I'm getting a rhinoplasy and chin augmentation - nothing too drastic, Just a little smaller on the nose, and a little bigger on the chin. I've always hated my facial profile, and this will fix it, and my confidence will sky-rocket, I can tell you that now.
Seek all options.

Wait-- You seriously think you're ugly? Seriously?! What is the world coming to.

...This makes me a hypocrite as I was staring at my avatar while reading this thread and pretty much thinking it looks like I got slammed in the face with a bag of hot nickels.

<<Quoted For Truth.>>

Seriously. That's usually what men care about. Note the term "Butterface" (and some guys wonder why feminists exist and why people aren't big fans of the patriarchy and male homosociality. WHODATHUNK). Ask any guy under 30 if he would rather sleep with the fat girl with a beautiful face or the thin girl who looks like a xenomorph.

You know got-darn well what the answer will be. "Ewww, no fat chix".

WTF?! I'm sorry, with whom/where are you hanging out that results in your being subjected to this at all, let alone by several people? Seriously, can you yourself imagine telling a friend or even a stranger she's ugly? Many of us were tormented in our childhoods and adolescence by our peers for any number of things, but really: Any adult who would call any other "ugly" must have some serious, deep-rooted psychological problem, or be seriously messed up on a substance.

Back when I was single I use to web cam chat a lot. I would often find that guys seemed interested in my solely based on my face. (I wear more makeup than anyone I know lol and know tons of shading/contouring tricks) So therefore I look completely different than the real me.

Anyways, they would be all flirty and such, that is until I would get up from the computer for various reasons and by the time I would come back, there would be a message stating some something like, oh I didn't know you were overweight and some other hurtful things. It really bothered me deep down, because I thought they liked me, not the way I looked or what they thought I looked like chest down. So you are right sadly, Ive experienced it far to many times than Id like to admit.

I have bi-polar disorder and clinical depression, and I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have had guys reject me because of my weight, they always tell me how beautiful my face is but then when they see how big I am(I currently weigh 290, but I used to well over 400)they end up running.

For someone who is emotionally fragile like I am, that can be devastating, so as horrible as it sounds, I feel like I can't attract the quality of guy that I desire at my current weight.

I'm 28, single with no children, I would love to have at least 1 child someday, but I must be in a stable marriage first.