[labellavita]

Originally Posted by Sparkly Blonde

What about finding one thing you love about yourself and making it look amazing! For me, I've always loved my eyes. My (dyed) dark hair makes the blue in them pop and I buy natural looking fake eyelashes that I wear everyday (they're so easy once you get used to them) to draw attention to them even more. Sorry about the super up close photo - it's all I have on my computer right now. Even something as small as highlights in your hair can have a huge impact.

Drat! It's upside down. Just stand on your head

this. this. this!

pamper yourself - you're worth it. keihls and lush make absolutely gorgeous bath and body products. falsies are so much fun, don't be intimidated by them! i wear them every day too! sometimes even two pairs if i'm feeling daring...eyebrow shaping also makes a huge difference.

for a while i underestimated the little things. if i feel like i let my body go, why even bother with the rest of it? but i was so, so wrong. a haircut and color change you! a little spray tan, or a nice keratin treatment on your hair. spoil yourself! you sure as **** deserve it for all your hard work.

[johanlal]

Ugliness is not a fear of life but a good health must be your target in your life..
A good health can remove the ugly..

[Stopfat]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder--
You ladies might consider researching body image disorders like body dimorphic disorder.
Of course, I wouldn't dare say that you have one just because you feel ugly sometimes--most women do feel ugly sometimes.

But really, your confidence and feelings about your looks are going to impact your relationships and your happiness--way more than your actual looks ever will.

I've seen very average looking women get a lot of attention from men because they are outgoing, friendly, confident, and overall pleasant to be around. Whereas I've seen very pretty girls be in unhappy relationships or have trouble finding a good guy.

It really has way more to do with attitude than looks. Believe me. Do what makes you feel good about yourself--for you.

[oxymoronica]

It's interesting to read this thread because I am in exactly the opposite boat. I have always thought I have a really pretty face and a hideously awful puffy body. I know exactly what all of you mean when you say that some days you just can't even leave the house because you feel so bad about your looks... A couple weeks ago my boyfriend's family came to town to take us out and I ended up having a breakdown as they were sitting in the car waiting for us... all because I felt ugly. I ended up asking them to go without me, and missed out on what probably would have been a really fun day. It definitely does suck having a part of your body that you just can't stand.

I agree also that 17 is awfully young to be writing off successful relationships as a possibility. Trust me, if I can find a loving boyfriend that accepts my michelin-man body, then you can find one that thinks you have a beautiful face. But remember not to get too caught up in what boys think of you - all of the other posters here are right when they say to learn to love yourself first and your confidence and beauty will come naturally.

[Ashley868]

Most people who know me think I am a happy and confident girl, so it kind of annoys me when people think it's my fault that I get made fun of for being ugly. I knew a girl who thought she was ugly but I couldn't see how she figured that because she seriously looked like a model. I didn't find out until weeks of knowing her that she thought she was ugly. When I first met her, my first impression was on how beautiful she was. So if it were true that people only think other people are ugly because they have a bad attitude about themselves, then I would have thought the girl was ugly. The reason she thought she was ugly was because her dad told her that she was all the time.

I get told all the time by people, especially strangers, that I am ugly. The ones who know me don't even realize I feel down about my looks. They think I am a happy go lucky person who is confident. The one time I was joking around that I would be a bitter old cat lady when I got old, and a guy said: "You? Bitter? Yeah right."

So no, it can't be because of my attitude or negativity that people call me ugly when people don't realize what I think.

This is me.

[AshleyLaurent]

To the other Ashley:

I think you look fine! In fact, you have a beautiful smile!

[mypinkpolkadot]

Everyone has something about them they think is "ugly". I hate my teeth, and my forehead (so i have bangs hehe). and, of course, i'm over weight.

but my boyfriend thinks im gorgeous. and thats all that really matters right?

someone WILL think you're gorgeous, and fall in love with you. regardless of how you feel about yourself.

have you ever seen a couple, and thought to yourself that one or both of them were..unattractive? it's okay, everyone has those thoughts. it's natural.
but i'm sure they find each other very attractive.

i'm sure people have seen me with boyfriends (cuz they always seem to be far more attractive than me lol) and been like "wtf?! he could do so much better!" and you know what I DON'T CARE! my man loves me

when I was 17, i weighed 342 pounds, trust me, i wasn't exactly turning heads (at least in good ways :-/) I'm now 20, and yes, I am 'smaller', but i'm still big, my teeth are still not perfect, and i wear glasses. the difference now is, i'm CONFIDENT. I know I'm lovable, and trust me.. once you love yourself, someone else will want to love you too

<3

[Chubbykins]

I would recommend talking to a psychologist about this if the urge to do plastic surgery is very strong.
How long do you watch yourself in the mirror every day?
Do you leave the house without heavy make-up?
Do you think everyone or almost everyone is looking at you when you go out and judging you?
If the answers to these are positive or extreme then you might need therapy for BDD. If not then you probably just have the natural insecurities that come with having a socially non-accepted weight. It is actually so rare to meet a heavier girl that really feels ok and confident about her weight so don't feel alone there. It is normal to some degree, if anything as a healthy stirr to get you to lose weight and live longer.
Boyfriends and admirers will come no matter the weight if you know how to strut your stuff confidently.

[IsabellaOlivia]

I dislike my face more than my body. My body is easy to alter, however my nose and chin I have to live with forever.

[doopdoop]

Originally Posted by Ashley868

Most people who know me think I am a happy and confident girl, so it kind of annoys me when people think it's my fault that I get made fun of for being ugly. I knew a girl who thought she was ugly but I couldn't see how she figured that because she seriously looked like a model. I didn't find out until weeks of knowing her that she thought she was ugly. When I first met her, my first impression was on how beautiful she was. So if it were true that people only think other people are ugly because they have a bad attitude about themselves, then I would have thought the girl was ugly. The reason she thought she was ugly was because her dad told her that she was all the time.

I get told all the time by people, especially strangers, that I am ugly. The ones who know me don't even realize I feel down about my looks. They think I am a happy go lucky person who is confident. The one time I was joking around that I would be a bitter old cat lady when I got old, and a guy said: "You? Bitter? Yeah right."

So no, it can't be because of my attitude or negativity that people call me ugly when people don't realize what I think.

This is me.

Girl, you're adorable! Who in their right freaking mind would call you ugly? You have to be misinterpreting them..that, or they're just speaking out of their own insecurity, cus you're cute as ****.

[Ashley868]

^ It's hard to misinterpret people telling me to my face that I am ugly. It's something I've been getting told since I was 12. But thanks for the compliment.

[catowned]

I've struggled with this too for years. When it's this severe it has nothing to do with what we look like in reality, it's how we feel. I don't have an answer. Having a child and responsibilities helped me. The most recent trigger for me was getting to know someone romantically.

The post about the father is absolutely right. For me it wasn't "your ugly" but nobody wants you, things like that. One thing as a parent I can see how screwed up it is and how he lacks empathy- and that did give me less guilt about having an eating disorder when I was a teen and these issues.

I'm a Christian and I love the faith I was raised in but the answer of a Bible verse would never help. Most people are well meaning but they don't understand it's some kind of disorder - it's not solved with just normal encouragement. I needed to be able to cry, learn it's ok to feel angry, have someone hug me when they saw I was feeling this awful emotions of being ugly and get some validation.

It's also very hard on the caretaker or a person trying to support someone feeling like this. They can start to feel their efforts are in vain.

[Gigi33]

I think you're cute! Ignore the haters. They suck.

[Ivonnely]

For almost my entire life I've been told nothing positive about myself by friends, family and everyone else. When I was young, I was overweight so no kid would want to hang out with me. When I got into elementary school, I had a mini crush on a guy and he rejected me in the WORST way a kid can do to another kid, it left a bad scar in me even now. In high school, I was a part of a group of people but no one in that group cares about me, they more or less just "pretend" to be my friends because asians try to stick together in a group in a western school.
I've been told by my own mother that I looked unhuman because I was so fat. She accused me of being pregnant at age 15 because I was 160 pounds. Guys have said horrible, horrible things about me like how I m chubby and gross, and how I have a mustache ( i know, wtf), anything you can imagine.

The morale of the story is, I know how you feel and I struggle with it every single day. You just can't give in to the thoughts of thinking yourself as someone ugly, you are beautiful.

[pixelllate]

I understand how you feel. No matter what people say, its hard to change your self perception-and looks to a degree can be subjective, maybe you dont fulfill your standard of beauty. Personally, I've only gotten a couple comments about my nose, but its way too big for my face. My other features are average proportionally, but with the nose just totally takes over because it is so wide and sticks out a lot.
Here's how I rationalize it-I see a lot of people everyday. If I really had to think about it, some I find pretty, some attractive, and yes, some physically unattractive, but those that I find unattractive, I don't think of them any lesser as people. I'm sure that most people feel the same way (unless they never found anyone ugly ever)-if you don't like yourself because you think that you are ugly, do you think that the people you find ugly should hate themselves too? That is what I asked myself, and I though ugh no way! I wouldn't want someone to ever feel ashamed about themselves because they didn't fit a standard of beauty. I know people who I don't find goodlooking who have great dating lives, great social lives and just attract so many people-mainly because they put themselves out there and take care of themselves-they are social, healthy and dress well.

As far as plastic surgery goes, I am not saying no, but remember that its all about proportion and whether or not unconventional features might actually be a plus for the face. If, for example, Lea Michelle of Glee got a nose job, it might look too tiny on her face because she has a more square jaw. Jennifer Grey and Ashley Tilsdale kinda got off the radar after their PS, which were actually pretty good jobs. So its definitely worth really pondering about-but I'm not against the idea of PS or anything (I'm considering it myself). I would only do it for one feature that I really do not like (nose), and there are other things that I dont like about my face, but as long as I can grow to accept them, then I wouldn't change.

If it helps, there are top runway models who made tons of money with "alien" faces, and the competition to be a runway model is prob huge. Models didn't look like this in the 90s (more conventional looking) so you can see, standards of beauty are fluid and features that aren't considered beautiful normally-at least not to me-can be liked by other people.