
I know what that feels like. I have chronic debilitating anxiety. It's so hard to understand unless you've been there but I get it! I hope you feel better soon! I'd be proud of your loss and eating, it takes a lot of strength to stay ordered when everything is mad.
I don't know if this helps at all, but just two months ago I was at one of the worst lows in my life and I thought I'd never feel okay again... but I do. I've felt that so many times in my life that it's hard to remember things do pick up... I don't know what you're going through but I hope they pick up for you soon.