[pipernoswiper]

Ok, I need to talk/vent, and since I cant get in to see my therapist till the 19th, I need a plan B. Hope everyone is cool with being plan B.

So, let's see. We bought this house 4 years ago, and my father in law needed a place to live, and now it is hubby, daughter, myself and father in law. Interesting dynamic, but do-able. Fast forward 3 years. My husband's family has a major dysfunctional meltdown. His sister and her husband split up. His sister's husband is my husband's best childhood friend from forever ago. His sister took him to the cleaners and he needed a place to live. Now it is hubby, daughter, myself, father in law, and now brother in law. Well at least we still have one bedroom open. Fast forward may 2010, my 72 year old mom decides to move out of her sister's house, and i can't blame her, seriously she was going through a lot there. And you guessed it.....NO VACANCY SIGN GOES UP....5 bedroom home is now full.

I love them all, I really do. But damn I need some me time

ok what else...oh yeah.....my husband has been off work for 2 years due to an injury, and 2 surgeries later, i don's see an end in sight.

what else....oh did i mention my daughter is a teenager....that's fun.

Did i mention we are in debt up to our eyeballs? Been juggling bills and treading water in this sea of debt, and believe me, the sharks are circling. And to add insult to injury, our fixed rate home loan went up. How does that happen? well apparently, when hail storms come through and damage your home, DO NOT FILE A CLAIM, or your insurance will go up, thus raising your house payment. AND if you see your county auditor, this too is a bad sign, as your taxes will be going up, thus your house payment will be going up again! oh joy. DIDNT THEY GET MY MEMO? CANT AFFORD THE FIXED RATE I SIGNED UP FOR 4 YEARS AGO!

So today i get a phone call from a friend. Apparently my best friend who lives 3 hours away, has completely cracked up. Not like a little melt down, i'm talking full blown crazy. She is sitting in jail for domestic violence, and threatening suicide if her psycho boyfriend wont take her back. I should mention i had a huge falling out with her 6 months ago over this whack job, and told her as long as this guy is in her life, for her to stay out of mine. Tough love. Look what good it is doing her. She is 38 years old, sitting in jail PREGNANT... and he is the one who is abusive.......but she gets the blue ribbon in crazy! Her biological mother is mentally ill, like non functioning mentally ill, and i am afraid my friend has inherited that.

Ugghhhh, i think all i can do is call the jail monday morning and talk to the mental health specialist on staff, and hope for the best. Oh and hope the psycho abusing boyfriend get's hit by a bus.

And finally, I am not exactly "stable" either.....I really need the 19th to roll around so i can go talk to my therapist............

thanks for listening ladies.

at least i havent used this crap for an excuse to binge......that is a good thing.

[Ive Had Enough]

***Gives you a big hug***

[Sunshine73]

Sending a big to you. You certainly have a lot on your plate right now and I'm incredibly proud that you are not falling into the trap of emotional eating.

[BellaLucia]

Good for you not stuffing yourself with food! God bless you dear!

[bargoo]

I hope all your "houseguest" are paying rent.Maybe it is time for an increase. Please don't take anybody else in. Good luck to you , sounds like you have a big heart but enough is enough !

[pipernoswiper]

thanks for the support guys....and thanks for listening to me ramble.

bargoo, none of them are paying anything right now, they cant. but everyone does buy their own food, that helps.

[bargoo]

Originally Posted by pipernoswiper

thanks for the support guys....and thanks for listening to me ramble.

bargoo, none of them are paying anything right now, they cant. but everyone does buy their own food, that helps.

I can't imagine how you are staying sane through this. Even though these are people you love and they are having hard times they should be paying rent no matter how little. What about the extra cost for hot water for extra laundry and baths and showers ? More people , more electricity used as well as more money for heating the house. Maybe you should have a "family" counsel meeting, everone should be paying their share. This will help a little with the bills. I see that you are a caring person but you need some relief.

[Justwant2Bhealthy]

TIFFINY ~ You need a barrel of right now; you have so much on your plate -- at one time; and I agree with BARGOO that maybe a family meeting is in order becuz mom needs some help and a break. You could explain your present situation and ask who is in the position to help; even if only a bit? I am sending up some prayers for you and yours as well (including your friend) ...


PS ~ This could be turned into a positive situation if everyone pulls their own weight; there are other ways to contribute like by doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, errands, and other minor chores (like taking out the trash) to take some burden off your shoulders.

[fillupthesky]

oy...sounds really overwhelming.
*big big hug*
me time is totally important. it's good to know that you're in therapy. is it possible to see your therapist before the 19th?

[pipernoswiper]

thanks it feels good to know i am not crazy lol, or being a whiner...sigh

i do love them all, and my mom can work circles around me, even at her age...
she is like the laundry wizard. and she does help me out with the expenses of my daughter.

my father in law is absolutely busted broke, and has some health issues so it is what it is

brother in law chips in when he can, but his ex's own him right now, and will for the next year. after that things will get better for him financially.

i'm afraid its a no go on getting into see my therapist any sooner, but it is ok. i have you all and it is really helping.

and i'm so very happy to hear someone is praying for my friend. she needs the prayers way more than me right now. believe me, she is in real trouble. in more ways than one.

i think all in all, we really are a just a big "mostly" happy dysfunctional family lol...

and i think this thing with my friend just put me over the emotional edge....it's cool though, you guys threw me a rope

Hugs to you all!

[lexi1975]

(((hugs)))

[Aunty Jam]

I always find snuggling my dog to be good therapy, not an absolute replacement of course but it helps.

Is there any kind of financial assistance you can get?

[pipernoswiper]

nope no assistance.....sigh...nada. my daughter has been without health insurance for the 2 years he has been off work. even on comp there is too much "on paper" coming in for us to qualify. but geesh, we had accumulated a crap load of bills and he got hurt and well....what is coming in isnt enough. we even had to let the frivolous stuff go. hubby called along time ago and said come get the 4 wheeler. they did :O

we will be ok. we always are. think i just get a little tired sometimes.

hubby has a friend that has a platinum card at a local casino....(which translates into he has more money than sense lol) anyways he offered us a night out on him...even getting a hotel room for us. we are soooo taking him up on it. might just be what the doctor ordered for me

[shcirerf]

First of all, big to you! I would have committed hairy cairy(spelling?) by now.

Second, take the night out! You and your hub deserve it.

I'll send up a prayer for your friend, but she needs more help than you can give her right now. Leave that one to the professionals. Your family does not need that kind of stress.

Kudos to you for sticking with it!

[VermontMom]

WOW - you do have a full plate when is your much - needed night out??

Hang in there, you sound very-together despite what is going on. Congrats on not turning to food during the very very tough times!

Oh!! tell us about your dogs