September Chick Chat ~ 2010
 

Good Morning,

I can't believe its September... there's always a love hate when saying September... oh well. Love because the kids are going to school and hate because summer is almost done and here comes winter LOLOL

Hope everyone is doing well.

Leenie

Yeah I am trying to not think winter+depression...I am hoping I can stay postive and do well..first winter in 3 yrs with no meds...its just so hard to be chipper and upbeat when theres Hardly ANY SUNN!!!

aunt jam-we are woman we tell the same stressful thoughts over and over cause thats how we work...so we know to listen to each others stories over and over even if we heard them already!! SOO I am sure it makes you feel better to get stuff out and we dont mind..if we did we probably would be here...LOL

vermont-that makes me worry cause we havent done cleanings either..LOL. AFTER I cleaned the extra bedroom (made the bed, changed the curtains, scrubbed the wall, cleaned the flower stickers off the door, dusted, cleaned the windows...they say the boy is going to stay in the home hes at and try it there a lil longer and hope it works...ARRRRRR. I mean I prayed if he was meant to be here he would and if not then that door would be closed but just wish I hadnt done all that for NOTHING...it was set up as a girl room before..oh well....it looks nice...LOL


I am doing well at holding my weight at the low 230's..it excites me!!! I started tracking my food again at livestrong...not really eating the healthiest things but still starting SOMEWHERE!! RIGHT?? I am atleast trying to maintain a calorie number..but I have one down fall I dont normally eat until like between 2-4 in the after noon then eat several meals with in a few hours just cause I am hungry but cant wait till dinner then stay up late and want to eat...but its getting better!!!! YAA!!! I cant wait to see the 220's again!!!

OH and finally we were approved for food stamps. I know alot of people just do nothing an live off the system but my dh works hard and puts into that system so I dont feel bad about it and we could really use the help right now!! since he was off on surgery its been a struggle and sooo trying to make up for missed bills...my dad told me if i get a job again he wont help me anymore...not that I really can get a job with the kids but right now my job is to raise my children!!

anyways...have a great day!!!!

Been sitting here for five minutes staring at a blank screen. Can't think of anything to say.

Sorry I've been sorta MIA. I've fallen so far off the wagon I can't even see it anymore. I'm not going to gain this 38 lbs back. I'm already at 10 lbs gained. I'm not gonna do it! How stupid would that be?

I got another call from a local recruiter at the same company I've been trying to get hired by. He said they will start the interviews next week for the next job. Pray pray pray that I get it.

I'm doing my own 4 day OP challenge starting tomorrow. I've gotta get back on track and start to feel positive again before next week if I get to interview.

I may be the only one but I'm looking forward to fall. I'm sick of the miserable heat. It was 98 here today. I'm just done with it. It's supposed to be 92 tomorrow and I'm thinking that's not too bad. That's how bad it's been.

Mom, sorry about the foster boy. Maybe it wasn't meant to be and not the right fit. Were you saying that your dad does or doesn't want to you work?

Leenie, nice to see you again. Work still crazy?

Vermont, sorry about your tooth. I have a wisdom tooth that I really need to take care of but we're talking big $$. That's why I've put it off. I hope I can get a new job and be able to afford it. :^:

Aunty Jam, I've been fighting depression too for the first time in a long time. Venting always helps, don't hold back.

Leenie - Thank you so much for closing that zoloft thread. I had to add my 2 cents after someone revived the thread but but I agree it really needed to be closed.

Vermont - Eek.. I did the same thing, I avoided a dentist for 10 years. Now that I've finally gone back I've had all 4 wisdoms removed (1 in 6 different pieces) and a number of problems fixed. It's not a wonderful process but it is a necessity.

Hope, Vermont, Mom, everyone - I know venting is good but I'm tired of going through the same carp over and over again. I have all the same vents about my life, something needs to change but short of kicking out my husband or having him do a 180° change (cant change people, but honestly, I'd settle for a 90° change) or discovering what I really want to do with my life and going back to school... not much is going to change. I'm tired of fighting with him and with everyone else. I'm just not sure where to go from here. I'm not even sure if I am depressed anymore... it's more like, resigned.

Aunty Jam, I hear you, I really do. I complain about the same crap over and over again and without major life decisions and changes, nothing different will happen. Sometimes I get sick of hearing myself yap about it all and doing nothing about it at the same time. You are not alone.

I did better today with the eating, not perfect but better. I managed 45 minutes on the ellipticle which was good for me.

real quick cause I am exhausted and have to get girls to school early and pack for camping...but got on the scale tonight and down another 1lb...YAAA...Never thought I would be excited over one lb honestly I kinda just blew off one lb but since I am now staying down and not jumping up then down...etc..I am more inspired to eat right...the excercise will come!! I am hoping coming back from camping I will be outta the 230s?? that is only 2 lbs!!!! I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE!! nyways was excited so I thought I would share the one pound excitement..I know shut up its just a lb...but those lbs add up!!

Hi guys - Thinking of you all. No weight movement here... Hope, you and I need to get on the same wagon. I'm sure there's room. Stupid wagon.

Chat soon - hang tough, chicks! x

Well we found out hubby didn't get yet another job. I almost broke down in tears at the dinner table. I think I'm going to have to suggest we go to the food bank next time we need groceries... at least then we could use the money for a bill. Problem is you never know what you're going to get. We were really counting on that job, I just don't know what we're going to do now.

Oh, but I found out it is legal to bury your dog in your back yard as long as they're encased in plastic and burried at least 1 meter deep. Alternately, if they weigh less then 44 pounds and you double bag them you can leave them out back for the collectors to take :no: (I wanted to add a puking face here but it would seem they don't have one).

Aunty Jam, :hug: sorry about the job. I hate to hear you are having such a hard time right now financially. I'll say a prayer that your hubby can find something soon. Did your son start his job yet? Is that helping at all?

Heather, that wagon is stupid, really stupid. :mad:

Mom, you should brag about that one little pound! All those single lbs add up to big changes. I'm envious.

Went to see Eat Pray Love today. I thought it was pretty good but thinking too much about that subject matter usually leads to depression for me. After, I went to dinner with the girls from my pool team. We had a great time. We wont discuss what I ate.

Your very welcome... that was trouble in the making. It just amazes me :no: what people will say.

:wave: Ladies... I love you all :hug:

Leenie

Hope - Thanks, but I don't have a son, I have a step daughter. Even if she was working I couldn't/wouldn't take her money.

Mom - I'd celebrate over one pound too!

Aunty Jam, I'm sorry, I got your family mixed up with someone else on here where none of the men in the house can find a job. My apologies. Still said a prayer for your hubby though. :)

Happy Labor Day peeps. I'm working, how about y'all?

Hi chickies! :wave:

Back to school tomorrow - actually can't wait. I think being back in a routine will really help me focus on NOT stuffing my face, and hopefully getting exercise in. I really struggle with the perceived 'failure' of gaining back weight and not running - I was a running machine. I think maybe I'm scared that I actually CAN'T lose it and keep it off and get fit again... I know I have to START to actually keep going... why is cake so appealing? Why don't I want to lose weight with the motivation I HAD? Ugh. Maybe I should just think less. And Just. Do. It. I have a few choice words for Nike today!

Fall is upon us - a new season. A new start. I hope so, anyway. It's amazing the excuses I can find to eat crap and sit on my (ever-growing!) butt.

Hope you are all hanging in there.

Heather, I'm totally in the same boat, even with the cake. I can't get enough cake for some reason. I've gained back about 12 lbs of the 38 I lost and I feel defeated, depressed, scared, and out of control. I have to go this week and get something to wear for an interview. I dread it soo bad. I'm expecting a panic attack and tears. Why am I doing this to myself when I was feeling so good?
I've been here so many times I can't even count.

On a positive note (I'm trying to be positive), as I mentioned I have a face to face interview next week. :carrot: Please say a prayer that I get this job. It would really change things for me financially. It wouldn't hurt my self esteem either.

As Heather said, a new season is upon us. Tomorrow is a new day and I will improve myself. Hope things are going well for all you slackers not posting regularly. ;)

Hope - No worries, I know how hard it is keeping track.

Had a very up and down weekend...
Down - I've been so down, grouchy and just annoyed in general. People seem to have been put on the earth specifically to piss me off (especially when they're driving!!!!!). And I just want to smack my brother in law sometimes, what a jerk. Step daughter is 17 but watches tv shows meant for 12 year olds which drives me crazy. I made a comment to husband, he in turn made a comment to her which made her turn off the tv and storm to her room for a few hours. I went to bed at 8:30. Not a happy house.

Up - My sister came to town with the jerk and their kids. They have the sweetest kids, 8 year old boy/girl twins. They're the ones who called me Aunty Jam when they were younger (or Jamie - said like the food, not the name). We spent time just hanging out and visiting my Dad, they always make him laugh so that's really nice to see. Step daughter found out she got a job. She'll only be working about 6 hours a week but with school that's enough. It's her first job so the experience will be great and she'll have a little of her own cash to spend. Mother in law finally found the manual for the treadmill she gave us... and discovered it IS in MILES and not in KILOMETERS as she insisted it was. That explains why I always thought I ran so slow - only 4.3 "km" an hour??? And could run 5k in 35 minutes outside, but could only run "3k" on the treadmill. I always felt bad because I ran slow and couldn't go far despite months of running. Now I found out I'm doing better then I thought. I wish she had taken the time to find it months ago when I first asked her :rolleyes:

Anyway, sorry for the long post.. just needed to vent. I know you guys will say it's alright but you know I have to apologize for it anyway.

Oh Hope - if I get any fatter, that boat we're in will sink! :lol:

Okay, so school was awesome. I love my job. :yes: I ate well, but added some chocolate chip cookies in that student council brought for the staff. Homemade. Yum. Oops! :nono:

Off to hit the treadmill, even for half an hour. Have to start somewhere to build up again...

Hang tough, chicks! x

Mom - I celebrate every pound or even partial pound - it all makes a difference and is heading in the right direction. :-)

Argh!!! In such a funk and the scale is not moving the way it's supposed to! I really really wish I never had to deal with depression. It woudl be so nice. "Normal" people don't know how lucky they are. And to top it off I have cramps... do we have a scowling face?

:carrot: OH MY GOSH...I about fell off the scale :goodscale:yikes: this morning!! So we went camping and even though we did a lot of activities :bike2: that require excercise we ate :corn: a lil to much..only one day did I over stuff :hun: my self and had that yucky :barf: feeling. So when we got home I had gained 4 lbs. :cry: But I also didnt drink enough water while I was gone...so I got on today just to check it out...:cp: I LOST ANOTHER LB!!!...I lost the 4 i had gained from camping too :cb:. I have decided to walk :running: down to the store like three blocks away instead of drive and walk the girls to school which is 2 blocks away. I figured I have to start somewhere and it saves me gas money!!

Other than that not much going on. I am thinking I will start blogging soon. I am really trying and feeling a push to be more organized and get more accomplished every day!! I need to do some painting and decorating because the kids doors are white and SOOOO dirty!!

aunty jam-sorry your still in a funk..I totally know what you mean with the driving thing I get very annoyed with people when driving! sorry bout your husband not getting the job....hopefully he can find something. I always said with my husband that if it was meant to be then it wouldnt have worked no matter how bad he wanted or needed it!! The right job is out there!!! IT JUST NEEDS TO HURRY UP!!!

wolly-thanks...i know I can lose it faster if I tried a little harder but right now I will take what I can get!!

heather-I agree sometimes we have to just DO IT....more than losing weight but to be healthy its good for our heart to have the excercise!!

hope- its sounds like your have a sugar addiction. The more you eat it the more you want it. Like the cravings get worse and you have to have it cause your body really liked it and demands more!!!!

So where did raven go?? she came back for a while then left!

Vermont-WHERE ARE YOU??? Were you camping too???:dizzy:

Sarah-Where did you go?? you hiding on us???:?:

Buddly-WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU???? Havent seen you in a while!!!:chin:


Ok anyone else I missed COME BACK JUMP IN even if its just a hi!!

:bravo: Momof4, great job on the pound (again!)

Yeah, and where is everybody else?

Hmmm, still nobody here. I started the day out well as usual and then began to overeat again after lunch. Last night I had to lye on 3 pillows to keep from getting sick from overeating. I hate myself for it needless to say. I have to stop.

I hear you hope..I just came thru that battle...It was a long one. I toward the end started fasting because not eating at all was the only way I could keep from eating. That was still hard but I couldnt just eat a small portion...I over at till I was sick and in the morning it was worse. I hope your able to get thru it soon not for the sake of losing weight but for your health and your emotions!

ps Thanks!!! lol

I'm around, just busy busy.

Hope - we've ALL been there. ((hug))

Is everyone else doing okay? I'm just a-ploddin' along. Git along, Heather! ;)

Thanks ladies. I know you all understand..

Yesterday it was slightly better. I ate a little less, still getting out of control here and there. I made myself workout- a slow 45 minutes on the ellipticle but it helped my stomach somewhat from feeling so stuffed. I need the workout to ease some of the stress I'm feeling from overeating and my interview on Tuesday. I wonder if the stress of the interview is causing me to sabotage myself. I feel like my entire self-worth is riding on me getting this job. It would completely change things for me financially. Say a prayer everybody, I really need this.

Hi Everyone! I am off and on here but we are travelling...visiting family and relocating so things are going to be crazy for a while... I am hoping we will have everything settled down and in a routine by November. Right now, things are going okay eating wise...my Mom is a fabulous cook but it seems to balance out because I eat more on a 3 meal no snack schedule when I am here and she also has some sort of vegetable at every dinner which has been lacking when I am home. I have dealt with the depression thing and that made me lethargic and frankly things slid downhill from there as far as housework and everything, I am sure you can all relate to that. I have felt that my eating has been better since we left Hawaii... I feel so much better being back home...I think things will be better in our new place... My knee is still giving me some crap but it is slowly getting better. I can't work out or do yoga right now but I haven't had a binge since August and so I am definitely feeling good about that right now. Mom & I both bought a pair of those rocker shoes and I am wearing them part of the time...see if it makes any difference. I stepped on a scale in Bed, Bath, & Beyond with shoes and everything in the middle of the day after eating and everything and it said 184.5 so I am guessing possibly 178 or so...we will see when we get a home set up...I can start over and try again...

Gotta run...sorry for no personals...Hugs to you all!

~raven~

Hi everyone!
Sorry for being absent. I've been so up and down I really don't know where I am. Had to start back on the celexa as the feelings of doom hanging over my head started again. I should have expected it with the change of season.
I did my 4 week cpap trial. It worked for my obstructive sleep apnea but it aggravated the central sleep apnea. I don't know if it was the mask or what, but it would induce mild panic attacks. I sure wasn't getting a restful sleep. Anyway we are giving that a bit of a rest.
I'm leaving tomorrow for a week away. So looking forward to that. Hubby is working further north and the kids are all staying home. I'm hoping for some nice weather as the ocean will be close by. I just need to get away from everything for a bit.
When I get back I'm going to have to get serious about getting my youngest figured out. The neurologist called about her eeg results but I haven't managed to get in there yet. She had another seizure the other day and because this one came out of the blue she is now scared and finally agreeing to see docs. She is so stubborn and I can only fight with her so much and now she is pulling the "I'm 18 and you can't make me" crap. This last one was more like what the book describes as an epileptic seizure, so it will be nice to find out what is going on.

I'm so sorry to hear so many of you are having such a rough time. I sure can relate, but if we keep plodding on I'm sure it has to get better.

Hope you will be in my thoughts and prayers on Tuesday.

Mom keep it up, you are doing super.

aunty Jam good you had such a nice visit. Thats great news about your stepdaughter. My youngest is wanting to find a job as well. I hope your hubby finds one as well. Even part time will help a little with the finances and get him out there.

Heather yes a routine is a good thing, at least for me. I have a routine, but it isn't a good one!!

Hi Raven, Leenie, vermont and everyone else!!

I better get going here.

Take care everyone!
K

Sometimes its hard when you look at yourself and all you see is a mess!! That was me last night... Change is good but sometimes it just takes SOOO long and I want it to happen faster.
I have soo many faults and stuff I need to change. I have been getting areas in my home decluttered and organized because I am finding that is where a lot of my stress is from and then the depression starts. Even if it means getting rid of stuff. My mom has ocd and used to be like go put this back where you got it now but I totally understand now. My Ocd has gotten worse over the years and I am going to end up being like that. Nothing makes me madder than needing something and not being able to find it.

I soo need to be more patient with my kids..but its soo hard when they do things that make my regular work 2 or 3 times harder because they are goofing off. I get it their kids but its hard sometimes trying to remember that.

I had my teens over and they helped with some organizing and painting!

Ok well still a little down just thought I would drop a few lines...ill do personals later...

ps I just had a nice piano given to me!!! Its a GREAT stress reliever and now I can play all the time!!!

Gosh I miss you guys.

I had my interview yesterday. I feel like it went well but it's always hard to tell. I was also invited to interview for another position there on friday as well. I pray that I get one of them. Please continue to pray for me till a decision is made.

I'm off today but I have pool tonight. I really need to clean the house some. I've really neglected it lately. I've been eating too much already so I have to get a really good workout in to counteract it somewhat and to relieve the stress I'm under with the job thing.

buddly, I'm glad you stopped in. I thought you may be struggling since you were away so long. A trip away sounds great. I hope you enjoy it and I hope you get to the bottom of your daughter's problems when you get back.

Raven, good to see you too. Hope you get settled in quickly and can hang out here more. Sounds like being home will be great for you.

Heather, Is getting back to a regular routine with school helping any? Being busy usually helps me b/c I can't graze all day like I'm in the process of doing today. Are you getting any workouts in?

Momof4, I'm with you, I think the clutter in my house is feeding my depression and my depression is feeding the clutter. I feel so guilty about it but find it hard to get the energy to change it. I wish I could afford a maid.

Everybody else???

Hi everyone... I've noticed a strange thing, when I get really really into a depression I don't come and post. Partly I guess because it's just to much effort and partly because it's just the same stuff.

I almost lost it on the step daughter last night, she was whinning about having to go to school then rush off to work right after. She told me how "lucky" I was that I only had to go to work (I would LOVE to be back in school). I had the hubby talk to her and tell her she wasn't as hard off as she thought she was and I was anything but lucky. He says I took the comment the wrong way but I was just so stressed. With him not working the added expenses of having his daughter is a lot of stress on me. I get paid very little and it hasn't been easy being the only one working then coming home to a very messy house and sometimes dinner is made and sometimes it isn't. Hubby is such a lazy arse I'd like to give him a good kick with my steel toe shoes on. Last night I was so emotional I ended up bawling while trying to run on the treadmill. Hubby heard me and came out of his office but I really wasn't in the mood for talking. He decided to put both his pool table and his boat up for sale (neither cost us much at all but are worth decent amounts). I think he should have put the boat up for sale a long time ago but I have mixed feelings about the pool table. We were lucky to get both of these and the chances we'll ever be able to afford them again are slim. He plays a lot of pool, even won trips to vegas to play in a tournament there.

There might be a light at the end of my tunnel though... this morning he was offered a 9 month contract that pays pretty well and has the option of 2-1 year extensions. The only problem is it doesn't start for another month... he says the table is still up for sale.

Hope - I can understand how you feel... I'll keep you in my prayers. Being employeed is a good thing.

Buddly - I didn't know there were different kinds of sleep apnea. I can't believe you daughter refused to see doctors! That would have been first on my list of things to do. Any results yet?

Aunty Jam :hug: I know you are really struggling right now. I hope your hubby gets this job and it lasts. I am employed but like you it's not a big paycheck. If it wasn't for df I couldn't make it. I can't imagine the stress you're under. Has he considered retail or fast food till something better comes along? Anything would help. Maybe he has but I can't remember if you have said so. I know coming home to a messy house just makes it worse. At least if it was clean you would feel like he's trying to contribute. Anyway, glad you posted and I'll keep you both in my thoughts.

Hi guys - sounds like some tough times all around. Hope, let us know what you hear about the job.

I'm eating crap. Ugh.

Heather, I ate lots of crap today. I keep going from eating well to eating crap and I can really tell the difference physically and mentally when I switch. I swear the bad stuff is like poisen. I feel sick, sluggish and begin to get the serious signs of depression like hopelessness and just feeling distraught when I'm eating poorly. Yet I still crave the stuff and binge. Crazy.

aunt jam...you remind me of my friend who her husband got laid off and she worked. They have two teenagers who she had to drop off at school cause he wouldnt get up...then he wouldnt do the laundry or make meals or even start them. It was MAYBE once a week that he would do a meal or a load of laundry. Her teenagers didnt do much so she was left to make the money take care of the kids take care of the house do their laundry and make the dinners....she was very very stressed. She is also a very detail oriented person and kinda ocd so she was killing herself to do all these things. He finally got a job and it got better. She got her kids to pick up some chores (which they needed to do anyway) Then she didnt feel SO alone with everything. She sat and talked to him to and was like do you love me or not? He said he did and shes like well by you not helping and me having to do everything it feels like your just saying you dont care how I feel and you dont care about me and thats not love!! So he got the idea and tried to help more but some men arent cut out for laundry or whatever. From watching her with all this I feel for you but it all made me think. My husband goes to work and works hard and comes home and sometimes he cooks dinner and would help with stuff. That is when it made me realize I need to have this stuff done. Yes there will be days that I dont get it done cause its just crazy and im everywhere (like weds.) but I need to just DO THE STUFF!!! She would be like well your different you have 4 little kids and homeschool he has nobody at home to watch.. But I realized I "Relaxed/sat around" more than he probably did at work...so I could kick it up a gear... I guess I said all that cause I get it from going thru this with my friend!!! It will get better!!!!
Rainy day here with some kinda sick kids...they have runny noses and one just isnt herself..so its just a relax and watch movie night. I got laundry to do and thats it(atleast all of any importance!!)...I wish I could just rip thru it and be done...LOL

Amen sister. I feel like garbage the past two days, and teary... and still planning 'I might as well eat MORE crap cause I already feel so rotten' evening... UGH. :(

Hope - Thanks for the kind words. He has tried to go for lesser jobs, he almost had a job with home depot but when they look at his resume and see that he's a certified computer tech they ask him why he wants this job and figure he'll leave as soon as something better comes along. And I can't say they're wrong. He tried dumbing down his res a bit and but that didn't work either. He's been keeping the kitchen clean which is nice.. but I can't figure out why he won't ever clean the floors!!! With two dogs, one a minor drooler and one a major sheder the lino and hardwood is just icky.

Thanks Mom... that really makes sense. I think I'm going to have the same talk with mine.

Heather - But if you eat crap you'll just feel even worse...

We've come to the very hard decision that our old dog needs to be put down. She got sick all over the basement again the other night... she's just not well :( Her spirit is willing but her body is so weak. I'm going to miss her... she's a sweet girl. I don't know when we're going to be able to do it. Hubby doesn't start his contract for another month and his daughter seriously needs a winter coat and boots before it gets to much colder. I wanted to have her cremated and keep the ashes but the vet told me it could cost around $450 :( I'm really not sure if I want to bury her in the yard, there's just no good space, it's a small yard. I don't think I could stand to ever move out of the house if we did that. Hubby doesn't understand why I want to do this... he's fine with just letting the vet keep her.

Can't stay but thinking of you guys...

so I dont understand sometimes. my laundry got behind on me and my house is getting messy...we clean up everyday but stuff gets messy. I have the motivation and like I wanna get all this all nice and clean cause it helps getting up to clean house and starts not only my day but whole week off good. I need to move for the excercise...but then I just sit here and dont go...what is that...is that lazy?? I dont know but its frustrating because even if I go start I wont get far cause I will just drag and stop at the first excuse...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME....I can be sooo much better but IM NOT!!!!!AHHH

so I just looked up lazy on the online dictionary and the end says lazy people tend to become fat....LIKE WHAT I guess I am LAZY! I think my weight causes some of my problems because there is 100lbs of extra weight...what body wants to carry that around? If i put 100lb of weights on any skinny person...lets see what they would feel like doing every day...ok...im off my soap box now!!!

I just want to be able to walk up a hill or even down the street with out being outta breath. i wanna be able to just jump up and go upstairs to help the girls without it being a OH crap I need to move again....I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!

Mom, I could have written most of that myself except for anything to do with the kids. My house gets messy with 2 adults, I can't fathom what could go on with that many kids.

I think I will find out about my job tomorrow. I hesitate to even say that and jinx myself b/c it keeps getting put off. I got an email saying I would get an update tomorrow. I am beyond stressed, and that is such an understatement.

Aw hope I am getting anxious waiting with u lol!! I guess it all works out in the right time!
I had a horrid day. StartEd off withme losin another lb. I was gonna come on n post but my husband flipped cause I got on the outer when there was stuff to do. I even told him yesterday I was struggling with doing everything but who cares I guess I have to suck it up!! Like I'm not the type of person that says who cares if the house is clean or not. I mean I have OCD so it drives me crazy to walk thru a messy house!! I want a clean house but something gets messed up from my brain to my body I don't know if I should go bck to the dr n see if they can help? I know my weight is a huge issue. My dh is just miserable to live with sometimes n some of it can b fixed by the house work being done n by me losing weight! Our pastor is pushing for us to get ordained thru our denomination n take over the church. I don't want to take over nything till I can take care of my house, just makes sense to me. Ok well so much more but I am typing on my iPod cause I didn't know if he'd flip out if i got on the purer! Thanks for listening!