[Zsu Zsu]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to post an introduction to myself. I have a long journey ahead of me and I know I am going to need support along the way!

A bit of background -- I'll try to keep this short
- at my last physical (2 months ago) I weighed in at 268lbs and am 5'8" tall
- my ideal weight is 150lbs and sometimes I think that is not attainable.
- I married someone my family thinks is not good enough for me 7 years ago and they still haven't changed their minds
- our son was born in Feb. 1998 and wasn't expected to live -- he is now 4 1/2 years old with a wonderful personality but has been diagnosed with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy and sensory integration dsyfunction (I think I am dysfunctional right now!)
- I took a medical leave from my last employer due to post-partum depressions, situational depression, clinical depression and severe physical burn-out (I slept for a month straight).
- I was fired from my last job the day I tried to return back to work (I checked with a lawyer and there were 3 lawsuits I could have filed but it just wasn't worth it)
- we sold our house and moved back to our home town and are currently renting
- I can't find work
- We are going to have to declare bankruptcy
- I don't know if I want to be married anymore

There -- can I add to anyone's elses depression

I really need to lose weight for my own self-esteem because when I looked in a mirror at my son's physiotherapy session the other day I saw someone that I didn't recognize -- when did I become this fat? (I apologize if I offend anyone with that term but that is what I have become!). I am just scared that with everything else going on in my life I won't be able to do it and if I don't do it I know that my depression is just going to cyclone down again.

I really thought that I was doing better after moving back to our home town (I kicked the sleeping pills that I needed for the previous 2 years) and even cut back my medication to 1/2 the strength (with my doctors permission) but right now I feel even worse.

I spent last week with my parents and that was the week from ****. It started with my Mother telling me my house was a mess so I couldn't be doing well to ending with my Father telling me to Shut-Up in the middle of a restaurant and walking out -- great support huh!

Anyway, any support, suggestions, words of wisdom or just words greatly appreciated.

Zsu Zsu

[Leenie]

Welcome Zsu Zsu,

First let me say, I'm glad you found us. We usually post on the daily so you can meet all of us there almost every day lol...boss permitting

WOW lady, your plate is definitly full.

Sounds like you need to hang with folks that will up your spirit instead of crushing it. As hard as it is.

Boy do I understand about your weight, I know we all do. You found a great bunch of people at this site who can be of wonderful support.

Hope to see you again,

Love, Leens

I would write more but my boss is here and she's so grumpy.

[Tippy]

Welcome! Grab a cup of coffee and sit down with some people who well understand where you are!

I've been coming to this site for almost three years now and I have found that 99% of the people here understand exactly what you are going through.

Like my pal Leens said, you need people who will give you support. Tell all those people who don't treat you with respect to go to you-know-where! You don't need that in your life and neither does your child.

Stop in as often as you feel the need to.

[meg 1+2]

Hi Zsu,

Welcome! This a place for you to vent and get out what is bothering you. You will find that the majority of people on these boards don't judge, but listen and sometimes give "their" opinions about things they may have some experience with. So don't be afraid to come often! It might be just what the doctor ordered.

Nice to meet you,

Meg

[liz321]

Zsu welcome and it is ok we use the fat word!
Keep in touch...I have been busy this summer but still try to check in cause otherwise I miss everyone!

I have been depressed most of my adult life...have self medicated with booze and have been on meds and had therapy.

My son died 6 years ago at the age of 2...he had a rare genetic metabolic disease and I know what the therapy, specialist trip is l about.

Come and share with us here, it lightens the load.

Liz